the STAB! show

In this very wrong episode of the STAB! show, expectant host Jesse Jones welcomes a glowing, radiant panel of Dayna Bryant, Rebecca Beskeen, & Tyler Kinney to share their three BISTs, nine items from the bathroom walls of the Olympic Village in Milano Cortina, Lip Filler, campaign speeches from a small convenience store in Hollywood where various C-list celebrities can sometimes be seen buying cigarettes and energy drinks and sundries, lobbying for a position on a Celebrity Star Tours bus route, the flag emojis vying for spots in the sexting rotation, & a balloon that used to be filled with heroin running in a special election to replace the suddenly outgoing Sheriff of a child’s birthday party, angry poems about manic, fanfic, & tantric, and descriptions of podcasts including a podcast hosted by a Planet Fitness keychain membership card, a HelloFresh subscription confirmation email and an expensive juicer with really good Amazon reviews, a podcast titled “The Onion Boys Think Things”, & a podcast from the world of AI slop.

In this pew pew episode of the STAB! show, cool guy Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of long hand folk in Emma Haney, Cierra Ramirez, & Marco Cabodi to share their three takes on DIO, new Greeting Cards for “Happy Better You Than Me, Day”, "Congratulations on Watching 16 Straight Days of Curling”, & “Wishing You Well on This, Your Current Rock Bottom”, craigslist postings for discount taxidermy service, emotional baggage, & a rocking chair, made of rocks, designed for listening to rock, explanations of things including explaining passive aggression to an active volcano, totalitarianism to a school of mackerel, & participation trophies to a ninth century Viking raider, and erotic letters to the editors of Editor & Publisher, 1859 - Oregon’s Magazine, & Vintage Spirit.

In this genre twisting episode of the STAB! show, scary boy host Jesse Jones welcomes a den of bears in Willie Travis, Jorge Hernandez, & Jack Marie to share their three HELLs, pick-up lines to and from a rusty meat hook, an old leather glove with knives on it, & blood, recipes for things, including a creepy doll or stuffed animal that MIGHT be telling people to do murder, but might also just be weird and old and creepy, a flawless exorcism, & a horny summer camp where absolutely nothing terrible could possibly go wrong, wedding vows to the Mayor of a town overrun by bus riding, blood thirsty bears, who refuses to shut down the bus lines, a demon possessed car tire, & a clown; just a regular ass clown, and tourism guides for Dreams-ville, The Ch-ch-ch Ha-ha-ha Estates, & The Right Slaughterton Manor Upon Grueseometon.

In this leafy episode of the STAB! show, healthful adventurer and host Jesse Jones welcomes a cruciferous panel of Micaela Pettigrew, Michelle Petro, & Lacey Carroll to share their three takes on DML, nine 2026 Winter Olympic haiku, closing arguments in defense of drunken late night online impulse purchases, rain on your wedding day, and a free ride, when you’ve already paid, & that guy with the acoustic guitar at the party, the toyification of making plans as an adult, your first job, & getting health conscious, and descriptions of podcasts including a podcast hosted by Micaela’s high school self, a podcast titled “Nut Up, Buttercup!”, & a true crime style podcast hosted by all the attendees of a “Just Divorced” party solving the case of the failed relationship.

In this damp, dank episode of the STAB! show, moist host Jesse Jones welcomes a whiffy panel of Sethu Chidambaram, Jeff Brown, & Joe-Joe Louis, to share their three GHINs, nine items on the break room bulletin board of Self Determination, celebrations of Yerba Buena, Olympic curling, the Rubik’s Cube, Dick Cheney, bell chimes, & The Lone Ranger, descriptions of new drugs, including Steamed Box Springs, Plaid Kenneths, & Blotchy Herringbone, and descriptions of fights between a taco bowl filled with ingredients grown in a garden on Mount Olympus vs. a gumbo consisting of items bought from a farmer's market in Mordor, a men's rights activist powered by the rage of seeing gender swapped super heroes and prominent, high ranking women in sci-fi shows vs. a thousand cranky toddlers jacked up on birthday cake and armed with blow guns loaded with jellyfish toxin darts, & a giant crab with all of the knowledge of the Library of Alexandria, and a fleet of 2027 Tesla Awesome Boats vs. an AI datacenter brought to life by the power of a billion horny chat bot prompts, with psionic control of the Kraken.

In this achingly poor episode of the STAB! show, destitute host Jesse Jones welcomes a grumbly tummy panel of Adam Cranfill, Gaby Gilmore, & Joe Matthews to share their three takes on NCS, new STAB!tionary entries from random letters EFILOFT, POEEUTR, KYUBUKA, craigslist postings for six dozen bankers boxes full of punch cards that you think might be a 1960s AI program, or something, a collection of self published spy novels, & a magic bullet hot glued to an air fryer duct taped to an Instant Pot, dating profiles for someone who recently quit doing CrossFit, a pod of elephant seals, & a stack of pallets behind a grocery store, and synopsis of made-up movies Fascination Alley, Amazing Saturday, & The Sensuality of New Jersey.

In this resting scowl of an episode of the STAB! show, REAL annoyed host Jesse Jones welcomes a deep sigh of a panel of Dayna Bryant, Brett Stults, & Kim Martel to share their three HCFCs, pick-up lines to or from a manipulative groundhog, a pretty good waffle breakfast, & the couch in your grandparents’ family room that no one was ever allowed to go in, descriptions of breakfast cereals branded around quiet confidence, made for the inhabitants of a magical forest of anthropomorphic animals, & branded around being the only competent person at your work, reviews of things including a Yelp review of an elf cookie tree under new management, sobriety purchased on Temu, & the YouTube comments for Earth, and descriptions of new businesses including designing mud run obstacle courses for neat freaks and germaphobes, a chain of co-working makerspace hacker lab establishments that cater specifically to people who pick up new hobbies in the New Year and immediately drop them, & selling parchment and quills to Gen Alpha.

In this aggressively light hearted episode of the STAB! show, mirth bomber and host Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of anarcho-jokesters Bernie Baktashian, & Daniel Kessenich to share their two takes on HRDC, six topical haiku about the first week and a half of 2026, campaign speeches for a sandwich bag full of googly eyes running for a position in an anarchist’s messenger bag, & a t-shirt quilt running for the position of throw blanket in a new couple’s living room, explanations of things including explaining phat beats to a chubby turnip, & snorkeling to a house cat, and descriptions of podcasts including a podcast hosted by the contents of a medicine cabinet, & a podcast titled “Wishful Stinkin’”.

In this tastefully attired episode of the STAB! show, fabric tube and host Jesse Jones welcomes an immodest panel of Kameron Schmid, Jeff Brown, & Jaclyn Weiand to share their three BRDFs, pick-up lines to and from a motivational poster, an independent coffee shop, & a vanity license plate, craigslist postings for a flat of mason jars filled with various wishes, services as a personal customized entourage, & a fine hand crafted wicker hamper full of gently used, locally sourced items that were absolutely not used to murder any ex husband whatsoever thank you very much, angry poems about resolutions, revolutions, & substitutions, and pitches for new businesses including, selling the concept of planned obsolescence to mountain ranges, selling slip ‘n slides to childless adults, & a shop that sells cute little hand crafted outfits and accessories for less traditional pets.

In this festivly traditional episode of the STAB! show, it’s our 2025 STAB! Family Year End Blowout ExSTAB!raganza! And this year, host and jolly gent Jesse Jones welcomes friends, performers and producers of STAB! things Alex Shewmaker, Bernie Baktashian, Cierra Ramirez, Connor Martin, Cory Barringer, Daniel Kessenich, Emma Haney, Emma Santora, Frankie Lord, Gigi McGill, Jack Marie, Jaclyn Weiand, Jeff Brown, Jenna Swartz, Jess Roberts, Jessilee Windhaus, Joe-Joe Louis, Kim Martel, Lacey Carroll, Michelle Petro, Tyler Kinney, Willie Travis to share their four takes on REM, pick-up lines to and from someone impatiently waiting for their drugs to kick in, a storage unit full of stolen bikes & a rusty bucket full of random meat, recipes for someone who high fives co-workers in their cubicles first thing in the morning, that person you can always count on, someone obsessed with shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette, & a core memory, dating profiles for a cyborg sent from the dystopian future who’s already accomplished their mission and is now just living in the present, a basket of very aggressive puppies, an artist loft, & a fishing tackle box, descriptions of new drugs including Fontanyl, Spicy Dans, Hamburgler Drops, & Jean Jackets, and tourism guides for Scram-sburgh, Snooty-sylvania, & Dork-lahoma.