The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast

Fantastic Fridays-#433 March The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Finish My Unfinished Business

"Your level of commitment is determined by what it will take to stop you." ~Doug Sager

One of your greatest superpowers is the resolve to continue when you don't think you can. Which gets me wanting to ask the question to you,"What does it take for you to give up on something? No seriously, on the goals you've set for yourself, how committed are you to seeing them through?" Robert Kiyosaki said "quitting is the easiest thing to do." And I think he's right, but quitting destroys us little by little every day. When we give up on who we are and what matters to us, it cripples us.

It destroys beliefs about what we thought we were capable of and who we thought we could be. Quitting ages the body, the mind, and it takes a toll on our soul. And by us quitting when things get hard, it conditions us to believe that it's easier to give up instead of push through to what matters to us.

I believe we quit because we've forgotten our core values. If something mattered to us we would walk to the ends of the earth to obtain it, we would rack our brain to find a solution, and we would be willing to take our souls to the furthest depths of hell to come out on the other side. I believe that is what quitting is; it's forgetting what matters to us.

Sure there are some things we need to let go of, and I believe those things are the goals that we never were really aligned with. You know the things like taking a job because it would make your parents happy, buying that car or house so you would be seen as successful to other people, or any other outcome you have set your sights on that really wasn't about your wellbeing and fulfilling the truths of your heart.

But how do you know what you're meant to be going after, and what you should lay down? For me, it has always been about hearing my intuition. That voice inside my head that calms me when I say what really needs to be said, or that feeling in my body as it relaxes when I come to the truth I know I needed to realize. Because when we feel bad, when we are anxious, when our life is riddled with consistent fear…then we are out of alignment with not only our purpose but our strength and resolve to follow through to what's most important to us.

In my book I'll be publishing soon, I talk about getting to know your values—because when you do this, your whole world could be falling down around you, but you would be calm because you know you are on the path you need to be on. You know that you've done all you can in keeping yourself aligned with your purposes and life mission. And maybe that's the best way of remembering what you should lay down, and what you should double down on. It's the knowledge of not only knowing what your core values are, but then continually asking yourself if you are inline with your core values.

Life is hard. It will hit you in places that hurt the most, and will seemingly laugh at you while doing it. But it's not that life is trying to break you, life is asking how committed you are to what you say you want. And like the quote at the beginning, "Your level of commitment is determined by what it will take to stop you."

The Universe is asking how committed you are to what you say you want. Because if something truly matters to you, then your commitment is decided upon what it would take to stop you. And again if you are aligned up with your core values, and you know what matters to you…then nothing will stop you…because the pain of giving up would be greater than the relief of quitting.

To have resolve is to have determination, firmness, or a fixedness of purpose. The Latin root word comes from solv or it's variant soluth which both mean to loosen. So to have resolve, to be committed to your values, to follow through to your goals, means that you are not only being determined, but you are also loosening the answers along the way. You are making it easier the more you continue to have a firm purpose in your endeavors.

So find what matters to you, get to know your core values, decide your level of commitment…and then follow through. When you align yourself up to your core values, you will not only find that your commitments become more firm, but you become a different, stronger, individual.

Today's Personal Commitment:

What are your values?

Have you ever even questioned yourself that before?

I will be going further into this subject in my book…but start thinking about who you are at your deepest core. Most people think they know who they are or what matters to them, but I believe most people only assume they know. They haven't taken the time to sit down and do the hard work of getting to know themselves on that deeper level.

It's easy to know other people, to see what's great about them or where they are struggling and why they continue to struggle. We can see that from a mile away when it's someone else. But to know yourself is a lot harder because you are emotionally connected to your problems. Most times we know what we need to do, but committing to doing what we know we should can be a harder action as we get nervous asking what if. We look at it a decision as the end of the world and ask what if I'm making the wrong choice instead of looking at a problem objectively and making the best choice for ourselves in the moment like the same advice we would have suggested for someone else to do.

• So write down the things you've quit on that were important to you, and write down why you quit.
• Ask yourself what your commitment was towards and why you had trouble following through with your commitment.

The greatest distance from where you are now and to being at the goal you wish to be…is only 3 inches away. It's the space In between your ears. Your mind will be the biggest helper or destroyer of your resolve towards your goals. So when you know your values and look to live within them, your success rates will increase exponentially.

I'll leave you with a quote to help this principle settle more easily into your mind: "In the city, we work until quitting time. On the farm, we work until the job is finished." John Bytheway

I Finish My Unfinished Business

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#432 January The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Inhabit My Habits

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle

The origin of the word habit comes from the Latin words of habere— to have, to hold, to possess…and also the word habitare— to live, dwell, or remain. And when I saw this, a lightbulb went off in my head as I thought about the word "inhabit" which means to live or dwell in. And I think that's why we struggle with habits is we don't inhabit them. We don't live IN habit. And lasting change will happen by us making the choice NOT just to act once…but to LIVE in the action over and over again.

And when you think about living within an act, not just doing something, you actually create a shift in your mindset. You see that who you want to be is who you have to become in every moment. And that's why we struggle with change, because we want it to be a one-time thing, we want it to be one and done. We want the ease of change without the process of change, and thus we disillusion ourselves saying it wasn't meant to be, I can't change, I'm always meant to be this way, it's just my luck…or any other excuse we can use to get us out of doing the consistent work of acting and believing a certain way. And that's how a habit will stick, we surpass doing things only in the physical and we reprogram the mind to know this is our new home.

I got thinking about the idea for this podcast by having a conversation with a friend after teaching a spin class and then driving home. I was at a stop light in a left turn lane. It was one of those lights where you can't turn left as you have a red left arrow, so you have to wait for the light to turn green to make a turn. And while I sat there waiting I looked at all the traffic passing by my car. And for the first time I really took notice of the double yellow line on the road. The line that lets you know where your lane ends and the opposite traffic's lane begins. And it really freaked me out how two small lines that maybe span the distance of a foot or two were what was keeping me and others from disaster.

Those two lines made such an impression on me that I kept thinking about it for the next few hours. I realized that the smallest things are what make the biggest impact in our lives. And that's what habits are really, they're small actions done consistently, or as we just learned their "lived within." And like traffic, they are the patterns that you inhabit in thoughts and actions.

I realized that successful habits were really about one thing…keeping the small promises we make to ourselves; the promises of doing and thinking in ways that would keep ourselves from the destruction of being a person without those guidelines.

And maybe keeping habits feels so hard because we've been asking the wrong questions. Instead of asking what we want to be doing, maybe we should look at it from another angle and ask ourselves why we are failing in the areas we want to be successful.

We have the tendency to look at what we need to add into our lives; and as we include more and more things that we think we should add in, we get overwhelmed trying to do too much and soon it just feels like a discombobulated mess that will never work. And the reason it will never work is that we are trying to do everything we can think of under the sun that might work, instead of choosing one small action, and thought, to focus on and master first before adding more into the mix.

What if you were to think of the habits in your mind like those painted roadways that keep two-way traffic running smoothly? What if you stopped trying to make change such a huge endeavor that you're worn out before you even get started? There's something called decision fatigue where we only have a certain amount of choices during our day that we'll have the most energy for. And once we go over that certain number of choices, we get fatigued, and it's harder to have good judgment as we are not in our best thinking conditions.

What if you were to make the decisions that count before you surpassed your decision fatigue?

What if you were to stop trying to add more and more actions or thoughts to the habits you want to encompass and you simplified the process?

So again, what are you struggling with, and why are you struggling with the change you want? When we can see the problem of the actions and thoughts that are keeping us from change…then we can simplify that change. Because when you see what's wrong, usually the easiest way to change what's wrong is to do the exact opposite of what's keeping you continually stumbling.

So if something is creating anxiety in your life look at what helps to create calm in your life. If you're seeing what's keeping you in the area of procrastination, then you look at what helps you to get moving and to continually stay moving.

The problems aren't really a problem; they're guideposts letting you know that there's a snag in your efforts. They are the signs saying here is where you are struggling, so you just need to go the other way or make a turn here, or maybe even see the problem differently…and that's when change begins to form. The change may be a physical action, or it may be a mental action on how you speak and think about a problem.

While habits are simple, they are the lifeline towards our change. And recalling the Latin root of habit will help to change how we see habits. We will see a habit is not an action, but it's an understanding of inhabiting that small change. It is living within those thoughts and actions in each moment that promotes the change. It's not TRYING something; it's living within that habit as you will no longer be able to tell the difference between where you end and the habit begins. It's understanding the habit is no longer a simple action, but it is you BEING that habit.

Think of your life like one of those camping tents. You are trying to survive the best way you can in this tent. The new life-changing habit is like a sleeping bag. Sure, maybe you can survive without the sleeping bag, but the bugs may bite the heck out of you. Sure, you might be able to survive the temperature shifts, but maybe you won't be able to keep your body regulated to the right temperature to function at optimal levels. And maybe you can get comfortable sleeping on the dirt ground, but the sleeping bag will help make you more comfortable within that tent. The habit will be work, but it will keep you comfortable in a structure that keeps you directed towards your life goals.

I think about all the religious texts that talk about letting go of the old self, killing the old you, to make room for the new self. That's what a habit is, it's destroying the old you, the old ways, and it's making room for the new way. It's that small double line painted in your mind keeping you in line from having a head-on collision with your old ways.

Today's Personal Commitment:

Think about an outcome in your life that you want to have right now? What would it take to become that person? What habits would you have to live in to make that a reality for you? Write all your answers down on a sheet of paper under the headline the New Me Habits.

Now think about the habits that are keeping you from being that person you want to be. What would it take to pivot from those habits to implement the new habits you just wrote down? Write those down under the headline Pivoting Habits.

Look at both lists and write down the three next best things you need to do to begin working on pivoting from the old habits into creating the new person you will be inhabiting.

George Washington Carver said, "Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."

I Inhabit My Habits

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#431 March The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Want Everyone To Win

"Champions are not the ones who always win races - champions are the ones who get out there and try. And try harder the next time. And even harder the next time. 'Champion' is a state of mind. They are devoted. They compete to best themselves as much if not more than they compete to best others. Champions are not just athletes." ~Simon Sinek

I played ice hockey for a good portion of my younger life, and I'm glad I did it because it kept me directed. It's what guided me to get good grades in high school so I could play somewhere in college. It kept me busy, so I wasn't hanging out with my friends who were out doing drugs or causing trouble. It wasn't that I hung out with bad kids, I hung out with kids who were different, and they seemed to gravitate towards things that were more risky…but hockey always kept me walking the line I wanted to walk—the line of reaching my goal of being a better player and being able to play somewhere in a college setting.

The reason I bring that story up now, is because I don't play hockey anymore. Sure, they have men's leagues that I've played in after I was done playing in college, but I don't feel like I fit in there anymore. I don't watch sports that much anymore as it doesn't excite me like it used to. And not saying anything good or bad about sports…I just got to a point where I was tired of it being all about winning or losing based upon points.

After I was done playing competitively in college, I went to play in men's leagues to keep in shape and to continue the fun I used to have when I played as a kid…but I struggled to have fun. All my teammates seem to only focus on winning. If we were down a point or two, it was, "come on guys we got to get a goal so we can win." But it just got so tiring trying to win a game by beating people on the scoreboard alone. And sure I get the aspect of wanting to win to feel good about your efforts, to have a way to gauge what you did was good enough; but we've become a society less about doing our best, and more about beating other people. We've become so unaware that our focus is on making sure we defeat someone, so they won't take what we have deemed as ours.

I grew up respecting a coach named John Wooden. He coached most of his career for the UCLA basketball team. In his 29-year college head coaching career, held a record of 664 wins -162 losses. Which means that every 10 games that his team played they only lost 2. And during his tenure he won 10 national championships.

The very first thing he taught his players when they came to play for him was how to tie their shoes. Which sounds silly, but he wanted them to protect themselves in the most basic way that might get overlooked because in the sport of basketball if you aren't taking care of your feet, you'll be more likely to get hurt and not be able to play.

He was said to keep notes on every single practice he was ever a part of. He had tons of notebooks from writing notes during EVERY practice. He had an immense focus on his player's success as he preached school was more important than the game.

The only reason I brought up CoachWooden's win percentage and accolades was to show how successful he was in what people would call winning. But Coach Wooden didn't focus on winning. All of his players would talk about how he never talked about winning once. He talked about being your best no matter who you were playing.

And growing up playing sports, I always was told to play your best and that it wasn't about winning…but I didn't know what that meant, and I think even the people who told me really hadn't thought about what it meant. Sure I knew the idea behind it, but I didn't fully understand it. I still struggle with understanding it. We as humans have been conditioned to win…and I think it's great to do your best to go out and get what you deserve, but I think we've gotten ideas confused We have tried to be our best to beat people or win the game by the score instead of doing our best to win the game within ourselves. Because the only real opponent is not someone else, it's ourselves.

And that's where I've have been confused, and I think a lot of us get lost in the pursuit in the illusion of winning. We have made winning more about claiming something so someone doesn't take it from us. We want that job instead of Joe having it because we believe we deserve it more than he does, we want that partner in our lives over another person because we think we deserve them in our lives, we want all those monetary goals because it will make us look more successful. And so it's more about winning instead of being aligned with what's right for ourselves.

I spent so many years judging my life on my wins rather than feeling good about giving my best. And so I built up my esteem based on how well I was defeating others in the games before me, rather than focusing on building myself up in giving my all…all of the time.

I don't have all the answers to helping you be happier, but I know I've found peace in wanting everyone to win. I know the universe is ever abundant to give us all we want and need, but I think most of us can get into a scarcity mindset and allow that to control us. We don't want things taken from us, so we will try to take everything we can just in case we might miss out on something. Which keeps us from being aligned with what's most right for us; you can't be where you need to be if you're trying to gain things that aren't meant for you. And so we win just for the sake of winning something, we try to take other things away from people so they can't take them away from us first.

I know in my life I've struggle with making the right choices. I've asked this question hundreds if not thousands of times "what if I made the wrong choice and ruined the rest of my life by missing out on something?" Take for example romantic partners or romantic interests in my life. I get upset when people leave me; I ruminate and question did I make a mistake, or what could I have done better? As I play this endless game of thoughts in my mind of…what if?

Which fear then began controlling my life; the fear of questioning what if that was the one, what if I lost out. What if that new person they're seeing is better than me and I could never compare. And so the jealousy and hurt would boil up. And so then I turn my attention to being mad at the person I was interested in for rejecting me and jealousy for the other person who took my love interest away.

But when I live thinking that way, it only hurts me and my future. I want people to be successful in the places in life that they deserve to be in…and so I have to step back and really take a look at what I want. Do I want someone who doesn't want to be with me be in my life because I'm upset? No. I want their happiness, and I want them to be with the person they deserve to be with…just like I want to be with who I deserve to be with. I don't want to think ill of anyone, I don't want people to fail because I am hurt, I don't want other people's misery and hurt because I'm upset. And so I want everyone to win. I want people to be where they are meant to be…and I want that for myself as well.

It's a daily reminder to focus on what's more important. As I work to make a conscious decision to ask myself, "is winning more important, or is doing my best the most important?" And doing my best means thinking good thoughts about myself and others. It's about taking actions that align with my goals; not trying to stop people from taking from me. It's about loving the struggle and the growth with immense gratitude and appreciation along the way, and it's the continual act of wishing, praying, and hoping for everyone to win…because when we all win…I win too.

So let us let go of the notion of having to win at all costs, and let us hold onto the idea of doing our best in mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Let us not try to win things out of fear of someone taking it from us, but let us hope for the best in people and for people, as we work towards being our best. And when you do this, I know you will find yourself not worried about things being taken from you because you are too busy being aligned up with things you are meant for.

Today's Personal Commitment:

What does winning mean to you? Is it about the final score, or is it about you leaving everything on the table?

I think to be more successful in life, to target and hone in on what truly matters, starts with redefining what success means to us. I think it's about taking down the notches, or the scoreboard, and looking at our effort meter. It's about asking ourselves, "did I put it all on the line because I wanted something better from myself?"

Fear can be a great hindrance in us not giving our all, so I am going to challenge you not to let fear dictate your win or loss column, but to have it be a directive in showing you what's important to you.

The things that matter are scary because there's something important on the line. But today, let us redefine what winning means and look less to beat other people…and more in doing our best in all we do. And when you do that, you'll find yourself attaining the things that are meant for you. You'll find yourself relinquishing the fear of missing out on yours, as you allow the things that are meant for others to be attained by those people. You are not missing out by taking what isn't meant for you, you will find clarity, focus, and success in putting your efforts in being your best to achieve what you truly wish for your life…instead of trying to take something that is meant for someone else.

So how will you keep your eyes focused on giving your best to win in your life, instead of living in fear and constantly trying to one up others? That's no way to live. So let us choose to live differently and look at winning differently.

So let us live by these mantras—

• I Celebrate Everyone's Wins
• I Am Excited By Everyone's Happiness
• When we all win, I win too.

I know this may be repeating what I said but this was the original idea I wrote when I first started brainstorming this podcast and I felt I wanted to share the original idea. It felt right on my heart to add it in, even if I am repeating myself…because I know I most of all need to be reminded of this every day…and I hope ti will help you out too.

Don't wish ill will on people when they wrong you, you want the best for them…because when you do that you want the best for yourself. When you invest in other people's win…you invest in people. And when you invest in people you can never go wrong because you are taking the time to get to the heart of things. You are wanting greatness for everyone, and what you put out into the world is what will be returned to you. But you aren't doing it only for yourself to win. You are doing it so everyone can win…and what that will do is bring happiness to you.

I Want Everyone To Win

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Tag Me Tuesdays-#430 March The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Overcome What I Set My Mind To

"Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change." ~Tony Robbins

Why don't we change when we want to? Is becoming who we want to be that difficult? Is stopping the habits that are crippling us that hard?

It's a nice idea to put the blame on our DNA, on our parents, on our partners, on our exes, on who or whatever will take to focus away from us and put it elsewhere…because we believe it feels better to avoid our problems than to come face to face with them.

But running from our addictions, our pains, and our fear and anxieties have only done one thing…running has kept bringing us back to all those things we were running from. What we run from pursues us; not because they are faster runners than us, but because when we run we don't let go of them. We hold on tighter and close our eyes hoping not see those problems. When in fact the mere act of trying to avoid them actually brings us face to face with them.

And being face to face with a problem can be a great thing, if we decide to open our eyes and see how we can rise above them. The problem isn't what is wearing us out, our inefficient ways with dealing the problems are wearing us out. It's fun confronting problems that make us think and act differently, but when we don't know how to deal with problems because we never seem to get over them…then we feel hopeless because nothing seems to work for us in overcoming the problems that plague us.

So we fight the problems, we run from them, or we work to anything we can to shake them from our lives…but it's not that you have to shake them, it's about understanding that you are NOT your problems.

We live in a world where we're told that the answers are outside of us.

"Here take this pill it will be the answer to what ails you…oh by the way you have to take this for the rest of your life."

"Here see this therapist they will cure what's wrong with you. Or maybe read these books they will be your silver bullet."

Now hear me clearly, I am not saying any of these things are bad; what I am saying is we have become over-reliant on other things to heal us…that we have trapped ourselves within our problems. We need something else to save us, and it sounds like a wonderful idea to just take something and our problems magically go away…but in reality the thing we took was only half the answer. We have to decide to heal ourselves no matter what…because NO pill will know the exact dosage to give you, no pill will know when to turn on and off in your body at the exact right times, no pill will have no side effects that maybe another pill might need to help out with.

The thing you take might have been the answer to help you to begin thinking change was possible, but we have come to believe that the outside fix was the fix; that the external measure we take was the thing that would heal us totally.

And sometimes the reason we believe that something else will be the end all be all answer for us, is because it's nice to think that maybe we won't have to struggle anymore from these problems that have been plaguing us for far too long. It's nice to think there's an answer for a problem that we thought we might not ever be able to fix.

But the external answer is only part of the story. YOU have to decide to want to heal, you have to decide to want to be different, you have to decide that it is possible to be different…to be healed.

I might be simplifying this a bit much…but you are not your problems…your problems are not you. When you understand this, then it's no longer about running from them, fighting them, or hiding from them…it's about knowing you were never a part of them.

The answers are simple, but they aren't easy. Meaning that when you want to stop holding on so tight, you can release your grip little by little. I know some of the fears I held onto was because they were more comfortable than being confident.

I avoided speaking in front of audiences because I thought I could sit behind a computer and tell people what they need to do. I avoided helping people because I worried about being seen as not having all the answers and they would know I was a fraud…as I held more tightly onto the imposter syndrome instead of moving forward knowing I am not meant to heal everyone…just the ones who are ready to change and who align with me. I've kept my mouth closed during times when people needed me to defend them, whether they were there or not, because it was easier not to cause waves. I just told myself I wasn't part of it, which was only lying to myself. What's the saying "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing?"

I have known all my life how much easier it is to live in fear. But that's the lie we've told ourselves, that doing nothing is better than stepping out to do what is right. We've told ourselves it's better to not look like a fool by doing the right thing and maybe not doing it perfectly. We've told ourselves that being silent and not trying is better because no one will judge us harshly, as it's safer to hide in the shadows than to step into the light of who we are called to be. But the only way we get better is to step out willing to make mistakes so we can get better.

So whatever pains, fears, anxieties, anger, frustrations, and hurt you're dealing with…I believe the greatest way to change is to know you are not your problems…you are above them.

And how transformation happens is when the pain of staying the same is greater than the fear of changing. Change is a beautiful thing…and the more we live within the comforts of our fears…then the more we lie to ourselves by saying this a good way to live. Because no one really wants to avoid what could make them better; they really want to avoid what scares them. But when you do that you make fear your master, and you've resorted to living a life of lying to yourself. The lie that it feels better to be ordinary. That it feels better to stay the same. The lie that you wouldn't be good enough to do what you want anyway.

And that is one of the saddest deaths we will ever go through…the death of our character because we have decided it's more comfortable to live within fear.

Today's Personal Commitment:

We need to become aware of how we are living in our fears. So, how have you allowed your fear to dictate who you are and what you think you can do?

I know this sounds like cliché BS, but the reason you aren't doing what you want is because you have allowed your fears and your frustrations to control you. Sure there will be learning curves, and growing pains, in becoming who you want to be… but if something is important to you, then fear will not be a deterrent—it will be the ramp that is asking you to accelerate and jump through that ring of fire that's burning behind it.

• So write down the fears that are stifling your growth.
• Write down how you can run towards your fears; to challenge them and not let them win anymore, no matter how small of a step you need to take continuously toward it.
• Write down who will hold you accountable towards this fear. And then contact them and ask them to hold you accountable in whatever way you decide is reasonable for you
• And finally, write down how you will continually believe in yourself on this journey. Because what will help you towards becoming who you truly want to be in your life, is the continual vision of knowing you are WORTH the effort to put into making this happen, and then visualizing yourself being successful in making it happen.

The only obstacle in the way is you, so how will you step out of your way today?

I Overcome What I Set My Mind To

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Mindful Mondays-#429 March The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am, and Always Have Been… Enough

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." ~William James

When I was in sales there was an old adage that was said quite often to help us overcome our fears of rejection, and that saying was—"the more times you hear no, then the closer you are to a yes." And I always liked reminders like that, telling us that the bad things going on aren't as bad as you think they are. The so-called negative things are actually helping you get the practice to become better at the crafts you're pursuing.

To be honest, I had trouble with sales, and I still can have trouble with sales because when I hear a "no" I take it personally. I ask what's wrong with me, how come they didn't like me. By thinking that way it brought me to answers that only told me half-way why I wasn't good at sales. The reason I say half-way is because I needed to see that I didn't get the sale not because of myself, but because I needed to be a different person.

Now if you are scratching your head to my last statement hold on, as I'll explain. For a good portion of my life, I was worried about people rejecting me, I was afraid of not being enough, I was afraid that I wouldn't fit in and be left behind. In fact I used to have dreams of being lost as a child and never finding my way back from the trails I got lost on. And I believe it was my subconscious speaking to me, showing how deathly afraid I was of being left behind, and that I wasn't enough in more ways than one.

But the fault was not with me, or people not loving me and leaving me behind, the fault was my thinking. And to change to becoming a different person, was not really becoming a different person, but it would be more of a simple shift in my thinking. So take the sales example in the beginning: I shifted my thoughts from seeing a "no" not as a "no," but an awakening that I really didn't get to know the consumers "why." I began to care more about the customer as a person, not just a number sign. That "no" was a chance for me to see that I was in misalignment with the people I was presenting to. My old way of thinking was focusing on sadness and the ego of me not being good enough whenever I heard a "no," and that kept me in misery. I saw what I really wanted was not just a "yes" or another sale, but I wanted to be of service and of use to people. I wanted to get to know people better…not just so I could sell them something but more so that I could provide value for them.

And that simple shift I think needs to happen in our lives. We fear not being good enough. We want to be perfect so we get it right, so we aren't laughed at, or aren't part of the group since you may not be whatever enough you think you need to be…to be loved. And the problem isn't with you, the problem is with your thinking. The thinking that you have to be different, that you have to be more. And yes I believe we should always be working to better ourselves, but not because there is something faulty with us, but rather there is something right with us that we want to grow into who were created to be.

When I was part of an MTV transformation show where I was a personal trainer and life coach, I got so much pushback from the gal I was working with and from her family. When I told them I was a life coach the family's common answer would be, "there's nothing wrong with my daughter." And I said I agree. They thought I came from a place of trying to fix her because she wasn't whole. But I said to the mother at the time, "the life coaching students I work with…there's nothing wrong with them either, there's something so right with them as they want to realize who they truly are."

And so every day, I got pushback, I got resistance, I got fighting on what we were doing…instead of trusting the process of knowing I had only one agenda…to love this girl as she was and to help her love herself as well. You see my goal on this weight loss show wasn't for her to lose the recommended weight to be at her correct Body Mass Index scale. You know that number that Doctors will tell you based upon your height and weight of whether you are too fat or not. I could care less about the weight…I wanted her to change the way she saw a goal, the way she saw herself, and to stop fighting the process and allow it to come to her.

And it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, first of all because I knew millions of people might be watching and if I failed I'd look like a failure…and secondly I was dealing with people who want to change, but they don't want to change. And I am not putting the blame on the girl or the family alone… I am also talking about myself. Because during the taping I had so much fear in me from looking like an imposter, not being good enough, and failing in trying to get my message across to this young woman. The message that she could do anything she desired once she stopped fighting the old negative patterns and began building upon the great character already within her.

We fight ourselves towards progress. We put in hard work towards a goal. We fight tooth and nail to get what we want, and sometimes we reach it, and other times we don't.

Why is that?

Is it because we are good sometimes and other times we're not good enough. I don't think so; I think it's because we are waging a battle within our mind upon every moment from old beliefs. The split mind of who we truly are (our greatest and most true self), and the fears of who we aren't. The beliefs that we may not be worthy, that we may not be good enough, the beliefs that someone better deserves it more than us. And so we work towards a dream or a goal by looking at ourselves from a place of lack.

We subconsciously are telling ourselves that it's going to be hard and maybe it might not be worth it because you may fail—so don't put in your "all" because it's easier to fail knowing you didn't try, than to give it your all and fail and be proven what a piece of crap you are. And that last sentence is not me saying that, that's the negative voice inside, the subconscious darkness we allow to lie to us and tell us we aren't enough.

But that doesn't have to continually happen. Like my dream of being left behind, that fear was within me, because where I started any endeavor, where I began any goal, always began from a place of not feeling like I was enough. And I believe it's easy to go to that fear, the place of not feeling as good enough as you SHOULD be, because it's an easy out for us. It's a generic starting point that seems natural because we believe it feels easier to NOT fail than it is to go out and make mistakes in your endeavors.

But I believe that is a faulty way of starting. It's like you running a race, that you are going to run your heart out to, but actually start out facing the wrong way. You are worthy to have whatever you desire in your life. You are able to do what you want in your life. You have so much power and potential in you already…we just have forgotten that, as we've been sold a faulty bill of good for too long by marketing, advertising, and societal messages telling us we need to be more, that we aren't enough…yet. You are told to buy this product to feel beautiful, get this new gadget to feel more successful, or acquire these things to have people admire you.

But you don't have to acquire anything new because you feel you're lacking. The way we become more is to understand we ALREADY are more. It's like Stephen Covey says in his 7 Habits of Highly Efffective People book…"start with the end in mind."

And that principle is not some crazy saying just to visualize what you want. It's actually the process of helping your mind to melt the future and the present together. It's the lessons you are giving to your negative thoughts in your mind telling it that there's no difference between where you want to be and where you are. Yes, you will have to work to make a goal happen; but not because you were lacking to begin with, but more because you were onto a higher mission. Realizing the potential of who you have always been.

There's no difference between the person you are now and the successful future person you visualize and want to be. The only difference is that visualization knew one thing that the present moment mindset forgot. It was already at the goal, and it didn't have to fight the whole way to get what it wanted. Yes, your successful future self had to work, but it only had to allow who they were…to become who they are. There was no resistance in the work, there was only belief and a knowing they were able, they were worthy, and that it was worth it.

Today's Personal Commitment:

It's such a simple question, but it has plagued the world for the course of all humanity…and I want to ask you this question now. Do you believe you are enough?

I am going to let you sit with that question for a moment and to really feel it.

Do you BELIEVE you are enough?

Because the only thing that has been keeping you back from realizing your potential…is your belief of who you are right now. And I believe the best way to change, is not to see your future self as different from your present self. Sure the goal is already met by the future self, but the future self met the goal because they knew they were worthy and that they were able to do what they set there mind to.

So the challenge today is to write your present self a letter from your future self—telling you why you were able to do what you did, telling you what you had to believe about yourself, and what you need to remember in making it to that future outcome.

This exercise is not a goal in negativity of telling you why you aren't good enough now, it's an exercise on love and reminding you about the principles you've always known. The principles that you are enough and that you can do anything if you focus in the most efficient way possible—remembering that it's not about fighting to the goal, but allowing yourself to the goal.

I Am, and Always Have Been… Enough

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays-#428 March The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Success Comes Easily To Me

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." ~Confucius

I was with my father and the family dogs were all around us acting happy, wagging their tails, tongues hanging out…just excited to be with us. And as we were walking up a set of stairs my dad said to the dogs "ABC. Always Be Cheerful."

And I had never heard that before and it resonated with me. As we got to the top of the stairs one of the dogs, who is named storm was resting peacefully and woke up and looked pretty grumpy. And again, my dad said to the dogs "ABC…Always Be Cheerful….except for Storm she has a right not to be cheerful." And I laughed at my pops and his ad-libbing skill at silliness.

But the simplicity of that mnemonic made me stop and really think about how uncomplicated life really can be. The best things in life are simple, but they're not easy. They aren't as easy to implement, not because we can't implement the simple rules, but more that it's an awareness to strip away all the other bloated BS we fill our lives with. Which got me to thinking how do I simplify my life…if I do it all? Sometimes we question if we have any order as we are running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

So what is your simplicity motto? What is something you live your life by that makes sense to you and you hope to implement into every day?

In my book I'll be publishing I created what I call The Strong Within Confidence wheel. And what I mean by confidence is really the act to go after what truly matters to you, to do the things that make your life matter, instead of just living a mundane life. It's about having the courage to be who you truly are.

And in my formula I have six parts to the cycle that have simplified my life and have helped keep me in line with my purposes and my goals. And those steps are Choosing Your Direction, Knowing Your Values and Strengths, Creating a Plan, Taking Action, Creating Unwavering Enthusiastic Commitment, and Repeat.

I won't get into how to do all of those or what they all mean, right now, but if it interests you then sign up for my newsletter by going to my site and I'll put you on the list to notify you when I publish it.

This system was something I developed during a difficult part of my life. It was a blueprint to keep me moving forward and to keep me focused on my life purposes no matter what was going on in my life. And by creating this plan and then implementing the steps of action made all the difference in my life. It helped to simplify what I needed to do, and it began helping me to implement it every day.

And so when I hear great ideas like my father saying ABC, always be cheerful. I am awakened to how simple life can be, and how beautiful it is when we focus on the straightforward things that matter. And by working to implement simple principles in my life, it's made all the difference in my life by creating more joy, more peace and calm, reducing my fears and anxieties, and helping me to be a more loving person..first to myself, so then I can be more loving to others.

In the movie Top Gun, Tom Cruise's character is named Maverick and his instructors, Jester and Viper, are discussing his merit as a fighter pilot:

Jester: [discussing Maverick] His health report says it all: he's a wild card. Flies by the seat of his pants, completely unpredictable. Viper: He got you, didn't he? Jester: [sarcastically] Yeah. Viper: Maverick. I flew with his old man. Let me ask you something, if you had to go into battle, would you want him on you side? Jester: I don't know, I just don't know.

In the movie, Maverick's character flies that way on purpose. He has intention and great dedication to his flying; it's all about engagement and full out on the enemy. So what looks like chaos to someone else is actually deliberate focus.

In the movie he gets too focused on the goal at times and misses the things around him…but he simplified his life by creating a way of enforcing his code…a code of going all out—all the time, no mercy, no retreat only re-engagement, and focusing only on one purpose…mission completion above all else.

Life can be confusion, disorder, disarray, and pandemonium. You can get swept in the whirlwind of chaos or you can choose to be your own set of deliberate chaos upon the enemies trying to stop you from your goals. Those enemies don't necessarily have to be people out to get us, it could be procrastination, it could be the negative stories we tell why we can't have or do something, or it could be an obstacle that you are letting trip you up.

When you focus on your life's mission, things become more simple, they become more clear, and while living isn't easy…knowing your mission will help you tremendously in making your life matter. And while my dad reminded me of a simple way of living by remembering to always be cheerful…there's another code of conduct I work to remind myself of…and I hope you remind yourself of it daily as well…"Don't pray for it to be easier…pray for yourself to be better." Let's be better through simplicity, let's be willing to put in the work, and let's be better by living our codes of life engagement.

Today's Personal Commitment:

So what's your plan in life? Do you have one…or are you flying by the seat of your pants?

I think we have many purposes in life. And sometimes that's why we can get stuck in life, we think we have to choose one purpose above all else. Sure there will be more important purposes in your life, but let's make this simple.

What is the one purpose you want to focus on every day?

What is your mission to complete above all else?

And if you were to sum up your answer in one sentence or maybe even one word…what would it be? Write down your sentence or one word and look at it every morning before you start your day, and look at it before you go to bed for the next month, and see how your days and life change by being crystal clear about the simple but profound purpose of your life.

I'd love to hear your life missions, so feel free to email me at [email protected] and again if you want to join the newsletter to know when my book will come out as I talk about my life plan and implementing it…then listen to the next part and sign up for my newsletter.

Jim Rohn said this, "Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day."

Success Comes Easily To Me

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergistic Saturdays-#427 March 3rd The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Take The Time To Understand

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~ Henry David Thoreau

I was working with a life coaching student of mine who was going through a rather tough time in their life. They were going through a messy divorce, and it was bringing them to the edge of their sanity. We discussed how to see the games other people play, and how to deal with it more effectively.

Their ex, knew how to push my student's buttons. I think it was his way of dealing with things. Now I never had a conversation with my student's ex, so I am taking the liberty of seeing into his mind… But I think it was his way of balancing things out. It was his way of displacing the chaos he felt within onto other people. And when people do that it's only a temporary relief, as they have to keep on sharing that chaos with others because they never deal with it effectively.

And during our discussion I reminded my student about the importance of being calm and how to see what their ex-husband was doing was not necessarily a slight on them…but an act of someone who has no clue what they're really doing. Now people will say of course the ex knew what he was doing…and I won't disagree with you there. But the games people play, while they do it to help them feel better, they don't really know why they do it, and they don't know that while it's bringing an end result they think they want…for the other person to feel their pain…they really aren't getting what they want. They think their reward is the transfer of their pain onto the other person…but really what they crave, is calm to their chaos. And so the game they're stuck in, is the endless loop of never being able to escape from the feelings they so desperately wish to not be in.

I told my student when you know the game, when you can see their motives, you don't have to participate. You don't have to be part of their chaos…and you won't be part of their chaos unless you choose to be. Unless you react by letting your anger, your fear, or your exhaustion win.

My student was frazzled from all of the games being played, and as we talked about the motives behind the games I could see her calming down. She knew everything I was saying was something she needed to hear or do, as she agreed with me for all of it…but through the conversation she said this response a few times…"I know, I know, I know."

After the 3rd time of hearing her say this, I stopped her right there and said I know you know this already, but you're dismissing this information immediately." And she said, "what do you mean, I agree with you."

I said "I know you do, but you are like me and when I'm saying I know…I am actually saying I hear you, I don't have to change anything because I know what you mean…I have the answer…I get it. When I am saying I know, it's a way for me to take the info in but to brush over it quickly so I don't have to process it."

I know this may sound like semantics but there is knowing and then there is understanding.

I said to my student, "when we understand, we are being patient in wisdom…rather than saying I know and being quick with answers. Because when I said I know, it was really a way for me to scan the info quickly so I could move on rather than change." It was a way for me to act like I was in control saying I know, but knowing and acting upon knowing are two different things.

And while it may seem like those two words are similar…I actually get different mental and physical responses when I say them. When I say I understand, I actually pause for a moment to ask…do I really understand? That word holds more weight to me than just knowing.

And over the course of our coaching session, anytime I heard her say I know, I know, I know…which was a lot…I stopped her and asked her—"you know, or you understand?"

And the interesting thing is she stopped for a moment, thought about what I said, thought about what she was saying…and became more calm and after her pause she would say "I understand." Her whole demeanor changed when she stopped, processed it, and said I understand out loud.

When I work with my students, it's not that I'm trying to impart knowledge on them they don't have. Most of us know what we should be doing, but we need to process that knowledge differently…especially when we aren't getting the feeling or rewards we want by using them. And in this fast-paced world, we want to get to the answer as quickly as possible. But getting to an answer and actually living within the calm of an answer is different.

I've spent years telling myself or others I knew the answer, but then I wasn't acting upon it. I was going about my life without intention and consideration, as I was more concerned with getting to the end instead of doing the more patient work of living within an answer.

So are you brushing over the lessons you need to learn saying you know it already…or are you taking time to really process what happened, and ask yourself if you understand it? When we take the time to understand something fully, we change not only our future actions by being more aware, but we ease the anxiety and frustration we're in by releasing the negative events that were bothering us. So let us NOT just know, let us understand…and find greater peace within the moment.

Today's Personal Commitment:

When you know you should do something and didn't do it, do you beat yourself up saying I should've known better?

When someone tells you something you need to be reminded of do you say I know, I know, I know?

Or do you take a moment to process things, to hear it more fully and say "I understand."?

Sometimes the greatest way to change our predicaments is to change one word, or to ask better questions. So I am going to challenge you this year to change your vocabulary. The next time you want to say I know to yourself or to someone else—take a moment to process it and say "I hear you, and I understand."

Because wouldn't you rather understand something, instead of just simply knowing something? Of course we know things, but understanding means we have a greater depth of knowledge about something..and we actually are doing something about it. Knowledge is NOT power. Power is knowledge WITH application.

So, let us live within the answers, not just brush over them. It's like the old saying, "if you have time to do something over, because you didn't take the time to do it right the first time, then you have time to do it right the first time." So let's do it right the first time, and let's work to have a deeper knowledge of what and who we want to be…and then follow through with that knowledge.

I Take The Time To Understand

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Fantastic Fridays-#426 March 2nd The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Attract Great Things Into My Life

"Within all of us is a divine capacity to manifest and attract all that we need and desire." ~Wayne Dyer

The thing I always try to remind my life coaching students, and myself, is that we don't get what we want, we get what we focus on. While it's a profound statement, it's really hard to wrap your mind around. We live in a world of cause and effect. You do something and you get something. We live in a physical world of seeing, hearing, touching, tasting…and so we are conditioned to believe that what we get is due to the physical world alone.

But I think it's a little more complex than that. Let me give you a few scenarios to illustrate something different to think about in living your life. Maybe you've done this or have heard of people doing this, where they were lonely and unlucky in finding a soul mate, and after a bunch of failures in the dating arena, the person decided to stop looking and just be happy living their life not seeking a partner. And when they stopped looking, they found the person that meshed with them. Or what about a time in your life where it seemed like the world was crumbling all around you, and no matter what you did it seemed like you couldn't get a break. You kept attracting more negative people and things in your life. Or maybe you experienced quite the opposite where you were on fire, and nothing could go wrong. You got that promotion, it felt like magic was happening as things were just coming together perfectly, your kids were actually being good and listening to you for once in their lives, and you and your partner were in beautiful sync.

Now most of us would say something like the stars are aligning, my luck has changed lately, or it's just a series of extraordinary coincidences happening in a row. With all the amazing things that I've seen in my life have led me to the conclusion that there are no coincidences. There's more order to the Universe than I originally believed. And maybe it's easier for us to believe more in luck than something we have control over…that way we don't have to be responsible for the thoughts or energies we put out into the world.

Let me make this simple because I could say there are millions of parts to us…but really it comes down to two parts, at least within this world. The Universe works in symmetry. There's mass, and then there's space (or so-called nothingness) in between mass. Think about your body if you were to split it in half; it's a perfect match on the other side—two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, two arms, two legs. If you look within nature at a leaf and fold it in half, both sides almost match perfectly, or how flowers have a circular symmetry when looking at all it's petals. And I have come to believe in intelligent design, that there's too much order for anything to be random chance.

And the point I'm getting to is that when you think about the deeper design of us as humans, there's the physical and nonphysical. There's the body and the soul, and within both of those entities (here's more symmetry)—the power of magnetism or repulsion. Who we are is what we attract in our lives. We have a magnetism about us that pushes away or attracts things and people towards us.

But most of don't think about life that way. It's easier to believe that things happen, that something outside of us is in control of everything in our lives because then we have something to blame when things aren't going our way. It's easier to say my boss hates me and that's why I'm working in the basement without my red stapler (Office Space Milton movie reference there if you didn't catch it). Or you might say the people I'm attracted to don't like me, and that's why I never get dates. Which gets me thinking about a saying in the self-development world that claims you are most like your 5 closest friends.

And the reasons all those things happen are not because of coincidence or talent, but because of your magnetism. You are not only creating things, but you are also attracting a certain outcome, good or bad, to yourself.

The reason for EVERYTHING in my life is from what I focus on. I don't get what I want, I get what I focus on. Have you ever seen a Star Trek Next Generation episode? They had the coolest machine on the ship; it was probably my favorite thing about the show. Whatever type of food or drink a person wanted they would just order the machine to make it, and their exact wish would appear out of thin air. Well, we have that exact machine within our lives, and it's our mind.

What we say is what we manifest. We've known that truth deep within all of our lives, but over time we've forgotten that fact because we think more on a surface level. We've told ourselves the lie that if we really attarct things then it should happen instantaneously, right? Which maybe it could be that way, but your belief levels determine the speed of your manifestation becoming actuality.

So in reality, your deepest thoughts, the ones you think over and over again, become your subconscious. And when it becomes your subconscious, you aren't really processing things anymore—you are getting in the habits of acting, thinking, speaking…and believing a certain way. And that focus becomes the magnetism and energy that attracts what you manifest in your life.

That's why people give up in trying to focus differently. They say that it just wasn't meant to be, but it's not that the person can't have what they want…they just have to learn to reprogram their old thinking patterns. And that happens by them focusing 100% on thinking differently. People only TRY to think or act differently…and thus change never happens because they were never fully in it. They were JUST trying it, afraid of failing or it not working, and thus never committing themselves to the change they sought.

Now I made this more complex than it has to be. Think of it like this. The more you think and act a certain way the easier it gets to always be that way. The more you do those certain things, then the more you program that in your subconscious—so you don't have to actively think about it anymore, you just become it naturally. And if you're still having trouble believing that, I think it's because you might be looking at bad things happening to you. Magnetism doesn't think in good or bad, right or wrong, it just gives what is focused upon. So if you can't see magnetism working in your life, take a look at the bad things happening in your life and ask if there is magnetism happening that way in your life? Sometimes the way we see truth is to look on the opposite side of our truths, or another angle.

It's easier to say why we don't have what we want, it's easier to say why our life is out of control, and it's easier to put the blame somewhere else. But it's never been about putting blame on ourselves or someone or something else, it's about understanding that our focus has a power within it. The Universe is going to continue acting the way it does no matter what you do or think. So you can be part of the solution to creating your life the way you want, by intentionally thinking and acting a certain way. Or you can be intentional about being out of control as you focus on being helpless in the matters—you still will be getting what you focus on. And that's the rub…you're always winning by getting what you focus on. The Universe doesn't discriminate it gives you what you are asking for.

Today's Personal Commitment:

I saw a quote that I wanted to share in helping describe the power of your magnetism, or the law of attracting what you focus on. Gary Zukav said, "Caregivers attract caregivers and live in a community of love. They are energized by their caring, fulfilled, and they love life. Caretakers attract caretakers and live in the company of resentful victims who see themselves as misused and are fatigued from constant giving with no return."

So how do you change your level of magnetism? I think it's first by seeing what your subconscious believes. This month keep a notepad with you and write down those thoughts that come to you. Write down those thoughts that are on your mind constantly. See what your brain is focusing on throughout the day, and come back to review those thoughts later and see if you find any patterns.

Be a mind detective and see if you're focusing more on the problems of why you can't instead of focusing on how you will. See if you look towards why things are unfair or whether you see opportunity in the struggle.

Our subconscious will dictate most of our daily actions, but it doesn't mean we can't change our subconscious mind. What we've done, thought, or said in the past has formed our subconscious, and once you understand this…you can begin forming it differently by thinking, acting, and speaking differently. It just takes mindfulness and continual practice of being deliberate with our behaviors.

I Attract Great Things Into My Life

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#425 March 1st The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Can Weather Through Any Storm

"The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore." ~Vincent Van Gogh

You are the architect of your life. You design your life; you build your walls, you build a solid structure or a weak structure. And while you create a blueprint to begin designing your life, there has to be an understanding that you are more than the structure you've built. You are more than the foundation within…you are also the storm created outside those walls as well. Meaning that the storms you go through are created by you.

Now the storm is metaphorical as it's not about real hurricanes, but it's about the hurricanes you create, it's about the drama you decide to reside within, it's about the stories you tell yourself and others about why your life is the way it is. Horrible things happen to us, people can be hateful to us, and the world may seem like it's against us…but that ultimately is still… a story we tell ourselves. And we can decide to live in a story of misery, sadness, doubt, hatred, self-pity of poor old me; or we can decide to live in a story where the lead character decides their fate. We can live in a story where the hero has conflict but always finds a way to win triumphantly. We can live in a story where we know that the ending has a twist that will marvel even ourselves when we decide to believe in something better.

Sure, people will claim I'm a happy dude and unrealistic about the world around me. I won't deny that I'm happy, but I'm not blind. I'm not disillusioned of the pains, the hatred, and the conflicts in this world. It's rather that I choose to see something more in all of it.

And I'm not always successful in doing that. There are mornings where I don't want to get up as I'd rather cover my body under the covers and hide in the security of that warm bed. There are conversations that I know I need to have with people about something that's bothering me, but I avoid it by take the easier way; thinking that if I don't address it then it will go away. And every day I'm confronted by my own internal storms, as I hope I can face them again with strength and confidence.

On those days, or those unsuccessful attempts to best fear, I've found the reason I let fear win is because I was afraid of losing. I have told myself the story that running from my fears is easier. I have told myself that the best way to save myself is to run from fears rather than run through my fears.

But the reason I was scared was that I believed the storm was out of my control instead of knowing it was caused by my focus. I may not have always been the starter of the storm, but in those times I've forgotten that I decide how I will stand in the storm.

In my early 20's I had a close friend and business partner take advantage of me and write me a lot of bad checks. I had a home business and he wanted to rent out an office and have a business location. I was hesitant but he said he would take care of the rent and all the furniture, etc. And so we found a place, rented it and started getting it office ready.

During this whole process, there was something tingling in my intuition telling me something was wrong when every time a check bounced and my friend said oh it must be in his other account. To make a long story short, he was printing checks on his home printer and passing them off as real. He eventually went to jail as he had done this to other people as well. And during this time I went more into debt because of this, as I was left with paying the bank back for the things that I thought were paid for.

The debt was so overwhelming, that I was in constant anxiety in how the hell I was ever going to pay it back, and I'd be in financial ruin. After a year of racking up even more debt trying to pay it little by little; I had reached my breaking point. And the only seemingly logical reason at the time was to hide because I didn't ever see myself getting out of this hole. It seemed easier just to run than to make small payments for the rest of my life. I was angry and upset that it was my responsibility to take care of it when "I" was the victim. And for years I avoided it, until one day I was tired of running and decided it was time to be an adult and face whatever I needed to do to resolve it.

That day I had decided to stop running I called the lady at the bank who had been handling my case from the beginning. I told her the story and that I wanted to take care of it no matter what, so I asked what would I need to do to make this right? And she said "let me check into all of this and I'll get back to you."

The next day she called me and told me that my ex-friend who had written all the bad checks was out of prison and that they could garner his wages. I didn't have to pay back anything.

Now the moral of the story isn't that I got out of having to pay for something, it was that I was willing to face the hell storm that I feared so much no matter what the cost would be.

Even if I had to pay back all of the debt by myself, I would've been happier because I was no longer running from a bigger storm that I'd created. Yes, there was the initial storm of not listening to my intuition and trusting my friend when my intuition was telling me something was off.

But for years during my running, I was playing the victim. I was so angry at this person for taking advantage of me. I kept telling myself that it wasn't my fault.

And it partly wasn't my fault. my friend duped me, but I didn't listen to that voice inside early on that was telling me something was wrong. I drowned it out with another voice saying, this is my friend he wouldn't take advantage of me. I didn't listen to myself when my intuition was screaming at me.

Immediately after the incident, I talked with my mentor mike about what happened. I was afraid that I couldn't trust anyone again. And I said to Mike, "I don't want to live my life not trusting people."

And Mike said to me, it's not about NOT trusting people it's about seeing what is. It's about looking at the situation and seeing the truth in it. And when we do that, it will help you to see the storms for what they are and not be saddened by them but to know there is something more in them. There is something more in you…and you can either be the addition to increasing and making the storm bigger, or you can be the standing force to go through it with confidence and poise knowing that the only storm that will kill you is the one you decide to make.

Today's Personal Commitment:

So what storms are you creating? What storms are you making bigger by thinking you have no control over the storm? What storms are you losing ground from by saying things like "it's not my fault, I am the victim here," or "there's nothing I can do about it." For me, the storms I got lost in were due to self-pity. Thinking it was unfair I had to go through pain and the work of something hard; when, in fact, it wasn't bad that I went through a storm…I made it worse by thinking the storm was meant to break me.

Every storm in your life is a resolve to ask yourself "will I be bigger than the storm, or will I consumed by the storm."

You are above any storm, and when you realize that…you won't have to run from the storm. And the more you stand firm in your storms, then the more you'll see that every storm you face won't be a tsunami of fear, but it will be a breath of hope…reminding you how strong you are…and how much you will become because of the storm.

The trick of life is not about avoiding your storms, but knowing you may be making them bigger by how you view your problems and how you associate blame to your problems. So what storms are you going through now that you could reassociate how you see it?

How would that change your life right now to see your storms differently?

I Can Weather Through Any Storm

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#424 February 28th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

This, Is My Moment

"I am building a fire, and every day I train, I add more fuel. At just the right moment, I light the match." ~Mia Hamm

We search our whole lives questioning whether we did the right things, whether we acted at the right time, whether we went to school for the right profession, whether we picked the right mate, and whether we made the best choices in all manners of our lives. We look at life as equal balance, and symmetrical in every way. Which it can be, but when we place ourselves straddling the line between two opposing choices we can get confused on where we are standing.

We say things are either correct or incorrect, up or down, left or right, as we ultimate are focusing on whether we took action in the right moment or whether we blundered it. But there's no right time, there's only action and inaction. Sure, there are better times than others. But if we spend our lives waiting for the perfect moment without taking action, it won't matter when that moment comes because first off you won't even recognize it, and secondly you won't be prepared for it.

We wait for our stage to come to us, saying I can't wait till my time comes. But when we do that, what we're really saying is I'm not willing to do the work to prepare myself for that stage. Frank Sinatra said, "People often remark that I'm pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you've got to have talent and know how to use it."

The best in the world know a secret that mere mortals have forgotten, that every moment is our perfect moment. And so we can spend a lifetime wishing for things to align themselves up with us…instead of working to align ourselves up with those things we want in our lives. We get effort and action confused. We spend a lot of brain power focusing on how to move something or how to be something and then never move to become it because we did all that work in our minds. We spent hours planning, and focusing, but then never took action upon all of that internal processing.

And so we live only in one of two world, the world within our minds or the physical world of our hands—never fully combining both of them together at the same time to the best of our ability. But when we can bring both of them together, that's when the right moments begin occurring. And it will seem like coincidence or magic on how things are happening for you…when all it was, was you making your perfect moments instead of waiting for them. Because even a wrong action in the right moment is better than no action at all. And don't get me wrong thinking I'm saying you have to be moving all the time. It's really about bringing planning, focus, and action together to help you create better moments.

There was a TED talk given by Ruth Chang called How To Make Hard Choices. And she equated that the reason choices are hard is because we look at the answers as being one of only 3 outcomes better, worse, or equal. And so we look at two choices and have trouble deciding because how do you compare if you should marry Johnny instead of Joe, or how could you know if you'll be happier being an artist or a social worker? And so she states we try to make our decisions based upon science, about quantifiable measures that will give a number value to each option that will make it easier for us to decide.

And so when two choices seem equally hard to make, instead of saying one is better, worse, or equal we can look at them as on par with each other. Ruth said that "when we choose between options that are on par, we can do something really remarkable. We can put ourselves behind an option. Here's where I stand. Here's who I am, I am for banking, I am for chocolate doughnuts, I am for… "

And maybe it's that simple; there's no right answer. There's only the values and reasons we put to choices that are on par with each other and we decide to stand for what means the most to us. We make a choice based upon our reasons that we most want to stand for in that moment…rather than being told who we have to be by society, by our mates, by our friends, or by our families. We make the choice to be the authors of our life story. We decide to be behind not what is better, worse, or equal to in our choice making palette…but rather we look at who we want to be, we look at the reasons we want to stand behind something, and then we make a choice knowing it will never be wrong. It will be the purposeful action of choosing what we value most, what reasons we want to stand for, in that moment.

The perfect moment is the moment we live in, and the right action will be the one we move towards; because even a wrong choice will bring enlightenment. Your time is now, not because you were lucky to fall into place at the perfect time but because you saw that in every moment…was your moment. The Universe will give you whatever you ask of it; it's already giving it to you. Some just have forgotten that the Universe works like a boomerang. Every word we utter, every thought we focus on, and every action we take is a conversation with that Universe, and it is always returning what we put out into it.

So how intentional are you in your behaviors? How willing are you to change your mind about how you look at problems? What if you were to see two choices not as worse, better, or equal…and instead see them as on par with each other? And then what if you were to look at the reasons you would want to stand for that option…for you, and no one else? How different do you think you would live your life?

In each moment there's the choice to either try to align things up with you—to force yourself into a box, or to affirm and stand for what you are and align yourself up with what you seek. I believe it's much easier to align ourselves up than to try to force something to align itself up with us. The Universe will give us what we ask of it, but sometimes I think we get confused in asking for things that we aren't aligned up with. So let's turn the equation around and work from within…rather than working from outside of ourselves.

Today's Personal Commitment:

Go Watch Ruth Chang's TED talk. I'll have a link to it in my blog notes on my site. After you watch it think about two choices you might be struggling with, and ask yourself how you have been making it harder to choose?

I like how Ruth said to think of those difficult choices as on par with each other, and then find the reasons that you are more in line with—the reasons that you want to stand for.

For me I know I can have anxiety after making a tough decision. I endlessly question if I made the right choice, but when I get to thinking that way I'm not trusting the process. So, the next time you make a decision between two choices that are on par with each other… remind yourself that there was no wrong action. There were the reasons you decided to stand for…and that everything will always work itself out in the end. So, have faith in yourself and the action; and move forward knowing YOU are creating the perfect moments. You are living a purposeful life by deciding to live in anticipation and love of the moment instead of fear and regret during the moment.

This, Is My Moment

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide