The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast

Tag Me Tuesdays-#423 February 27th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am Love

"When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred." ~Thomas Jefferson

What you put into the world is what will be returned to you. We know this on a conscious level, but we don't understand it on a subconscious level. It's hard to really understand that the energy we emit is returned back to us in a magical way. That Universe is returning to us who we are in every moment. It's a relationship that feels complex, that what is given is perfectly returned, and that seems so supernatural to us at times.

That's why it's so important to remember that principle, especially when we feel angered or wronged. Well, that's only if we want to be freed from our anger instead of imprisoned by them.

On a physiological level when you are angry your brain will not properly access the frontal lobe. And the frontal lobe's main process is to carry out higher mental processes such as thinking, planning, decision making, and judgment.

And by getting to know that mere fact has brought so much enlightenment in my life. Because when I was upset or angry I felt like something was shut off inside me. I felt negative thoughts racing endlessly in my head. I felt sluggish in my thinking. I didn't feel like myself. And with anger it's like trying to win a race you're not even in.

When we are angry we want to let it out, we want to vent or maybe we want to ruminate over it endlessly wishing for the other person to feel our pains. But wishing for someone else to feel our pains only expands our hurt within. We want to heal by getting it off our chest and releasing that anger. So we want to vent to that person, to anyone who will listen to us, or have an endless loop conversation within our minds.

I was reading an article on health.com titled Things You Shouldn't Do When You're Angry by Linda Melone. She stated that "getting anger off your chest sounds like a good idea, but it may actually make matters worse. In fact, people who simply spent five minutes reading another person's online rants became angrier and less happy in a study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking. An earlier study also showed that venting anger by hitting pillows not only increased anger at that moment but made aggressive behavior more likely in the future."

What the venting or the immediate aggressive action towards our anger does for us is make us feel relieved temporarily. But it doesn't heal the process. I was reading a study a few years ago where rats who were being shocked would bite other rats to help them deal with the pain. And that's what we do, we do ineffective methods to relieve our pain temporarily, while creating negative habits that keep us in anger longer.

So if you think about that for a moment, not only does venting make us angrier and more likely to express ourselves that way in the future, but it also affects the people around us in negative ways. I'm not saying we need to bottle our emotions in, but maybe venting has gotten more credit than it deserves. And if you think about a vent in your house, sure it pushes out or lets out air or gasses, but it doesn't force out crappy air…unless it's a bathroom of course. So our negative venting could literally be called crap.

I think there's a fine line between venting to talk something out and then continual venting to stay within an emotion. I've been dealing with a personal issue that I feel sad about, and I've had the urge to vent and to express myself to be heard. Which can be a good thing, but I don't want to put that out into the Universe—not because I don't need to focus elsewhere than the sadness, but because if I vent I know I'll want to vent to someone else…and then someone else.

For me, I've found I vent to stay within the emotion. It's a way for me to justify how I am feeling and not change. It's a way for me to stay in self-pity, and say poor old me, and then put someone or something else out there to blame.

I think it's my way of stepping outside of hope. It's my way of turning my back on faith and focusing on fear. I'll look at the present moment with sadness and focus on doom as if it's the end of the world…instead of remembering that everything will always work itself out in the end. If something is meant to be it will happen.

I internalize a lot of things and tend to ruminate too much on my problems. Which gets me caught in an endless thought loop that brings nothing but more frustration and sadness, not clarity. So sometimes I talk out loud to myself, so I can hear what I'm saying. And if it sounds crazy, I work to bring myself back to better feelings.

We have the tendency to take our problems too far and generalize things in our minds as we might say "no one loves me, everything always goes wrong in my life," or "I am always going to be stuck here." And when I'm having a conversation with myself and I say some of those negative generalizations, I will ask a poignant question… "Chris is that true? Is that REALLY true?" And if I'm willing to heal, I will say "no" and then talk myself back to more healthy thoughts and feelings.

I like to think of this saying during times of extreme frustration, "You won't be punished for your anger, you will be punished BY your anger." So while I have the choice to feel frustrated and uncertain within a moment, I am also reminded that what I put out into the world is not only what I create in the world, but it is what I create within myself.

And if I put more anger out into the world to vent, I am more likely to get into the habit of expressing myself more negatively in the future as well. So while I struggle with pain and frustration at the moment it's only because I have forgotten one of my greatest truths…I am love.

And you…are love; we are love. We have been called by the Source of creation to spread more of what we were created from…love. So if you are feeling anger or frustration at the moment, breathe deeply, count to 10, count to 100, count to a million if need be and remember that you will become what you express. So if you want to bring more crap into your life and into the world then by all means focus on the negative venting you feel justified to do. But if you want to live in peace, harmony, and happiness then find ways to express who you are and always have been… love.

Today's Personal Commitment:

When anger consumes us, we make bad choices. But when we wish the best for people and for ourselves…we become love. When we want great things for everyone despite our pain, anger, or hurt…it frees us.

It's not that you can't get angry, or that anger is bad, or even that you can never vent. Anything can be good or bad…it's how you use it. I think it's really about becoming so aware in the moment; that when you feel your temperature rising, that pressure in the center of your chest getting ready to explode, or your blood boiling…that you take some deep breaths and count to 10 if need be before reacting. Because if we let our anger make the choices for us by flying off the handle or flying into rage and upsetness…then we are not only out of control, but we are also creating the pathway for our brain to continue these patterns. Which will keep us trapped within our negative emotions rather than being freed from them.

So what are some ways you can express more love in your life when you aren't angry?

What are more ways you can focus and express love when you are angry?

And how do you think you can create better patterns to be in control of your negative emotions rather than be controlled by them?

Some examples I've used in my life to pivot from anger to love have been:

• -Going on a walk to have a conversation with myself
• -Counting to ten or a hundred to come back to being more rational and in control of my anger instead of the other way around
• -Going to the gym
• -If it's an argument with a person…I work on doing one thing different to change where my mind is going. Which could be saying let's go over here and talk and we physically move somewhere else to change the atmosphere, or it could be to stop trying to control the conversation and listen more, or maybe even saying something positive like "I respect you and I'm struggling here with anger let's step away for 10 minutes and come back to discuss this when I am more calm and controlled."
• -Reading positive quotes or poems that remind me about control, hope, and peacefulness
• -Saying affirmations.

So find your healing actions, and engrain them in your mind. That way the next time you are feeling pulled to the darker side of anger, you will have an arsenal to work with to help you win the battles you are fighting at the moment. Be love not hate, be love not anger, be love not upsetness, be love not frustration, be love not revenge, and be the warden of love not a prisoner to negativity. You are what you focus on, so where are you focusing on consistently?

I Am Love

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Mindful Mondays-#422 February 26th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

My Disappointments Guide Me To Better Decisions

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Jim Rohn

I remember watching a comedy called Meet The Millers With Jennifer Anniston and Jason Sudeikis. It's a silly premise where the main character creates a fake family to smuggle in a shipment from Mexico because he got involved with the wrong people and needs to correct his mistake. And the funniest part of the movie for me is when the fake daughter is hanging out with a tattooed boy who doesn't seem too bright.

Jason who plays the fake father says to the young man sarcastically "hey those are some cool tatts man" and the young gentleman says "thank you bro" as he looks them over with pride and then the boy points to his arm quite beamingly and says "you see the cobra?"

And then Jason says "what's that one?" as he points to the boy's neck. And the boy opens up his shirt, so you can see the tattoo better and he says, "that's my 'creedo.' No REGRETS…" but he doesn't realize it's spelled wrong as it's spelled R A G R E T S." And Jason says back to the young man, "you have no regrets?" and the boy responds "nope." Then Jason says "not even a single letter?" and the boy responds again "no way, not me." And Jason finishes off the scene even more sarcastically saying to his fake daughter "I love him, he's a real winner Casey."

I'll include the clip in my blog post on my site.

Every mistake, every disappointment, and every moment that we wished we could get back…they weren't errors in our lives. They were chances for us to come to a higher awareness. I know it's easier said than done to have no regrets, and I'm not saying we shouldn't ever regret anything, but maybe we should look differently at regrets.

I love acronyms because they help me remember lessons better. I'll give some famous acronym examples to help you get on my excitement for acronym bandwagon.You remember the frozen yogurt stores TCBY? Well, TCBY stands for The Country's Best Yogurt. In fact, it used to stand for This Can't Be Yogurt until they were sued by the company I Can't Believe It's Yogurt. Or another one you might not know is the word TASER, you know for the TASER gun, well that stands for Thomas A. Swift's Electrical Rifle.

We could go on for days about acronyms we didn't know about, but let's get into my acronym to remember how to reframe looking at regrets. The guilt we feel about something we wish we didn't do will keep us from living our best lives in the present moment. So let's reframe REGRET to help you heal from your past pains and begin living more within peace and joy for your life.

REGRET stands for

Realizing Every Goodbye Resolves Eventually over Time.

Now I used the word "over" in front of time, so I hope you can forgive me for putting in the connecting word to help the phrase make more sense.

What I want to remind you and myself of when we say this acronym, is that all those bad things we've been holding onto…we're saying goodbye to them. All those things that we're upset about, all those pains that are hurting us in the moment and all the guilts we may feel will resolve themselves out over time.

And it's not because we never think about our mistakes ever again, almost certainly to repeat them since we didn't learn. But it's that we've become more aware by saying the REGRET acronym when we are feeling regret. We say the acronym to awaken us to better ways of healing and learning from our mistakes.

The human will is a formidable force and when we keep moving forward knowing that every mistake is a lesson, and that every regret isn't a goodbye to something bad, but a hello to something beautiful over time. Then we are eternally growing.

So think about it like this, you realize that your disappointments have guided you to better decisions…well hopefully. Some people choose never to learn, but we may have to go through disappointment after disappointment to finally engrain in our brain that this way isn't working. And the more in tune we become with our intuition, then the more we will hear those little voices in our head, and those subtle cues in our body, warning us something isn't right.

I was working with a life coaching student of mine, and at the end of our session I asked what we wanted to focus on for the next week, and she said…"I want to pay more attention to those little voices in my head that are telling me what I need to do at the moment." She was burned out in her life and those voices would tell her what her mind and body needed. It was saying "take a nap, you haven't eaten yet; you need to get something in your stomach," or it might say "if you only spend a few minutes on organizing you won't be so overwhelmed."

She said that those small voices were the ones that when she listened to them, they always brought her to a place of balance. It was the good voice within telling her what she needed. And we do that a lot in our lives, we drown out that intuiton, and we listen to the more destructive voice inside. Or we drown out all the voices and just do whatever we feel NEEDS to be done by forcing things because we have so much left to do. So we try to cram it all in, and as fast as we can into one day.

Maybe if we listened a little more to our intuition guiding us…we might have less regrets. But if we can remember that a regret is Realizing Every Goodbye Resolves Eventually over Time, it will be a pathway to opens doors.

They say that for every door that closes in your life another will open. And it's a nice sentiment to say, but when you are in the thick of things it can be easy to let anxiety grip you. And I could wave my magic wand and tell you I have the answer for everyone, but that would be a lie. I think it comes down to a multitude of things, but maybe it's about finding something to place your attention on when going through hell.

Maybe it's the smile of a loved one, or the remembrance of a good conversation with a great friend, or maybe it's the calm knowing that your creator has something more in store for you. Maybe it's a past triumph and you remember how great your body felt after that success.

So let us find a higher truth and know that the mistakes in your life weren't meant to destroy, but to build you up and bring something better to you. I may not be able to look into a crystal ball to tell your fortune, but I think I can tell you your future right now. You have a great one ahead of you. There will bumps and bruises, but each one will be worth it as you get to know the amazing you.

So when going through your personal hells, remember to say the acronym REGRET out loud or in your mind, and focus on a past success or something you love. Because when it feels like that's all you can hold onto…I think it will be enough.

And if you are going to regret anything, regret being regretful…ok that was stupid. Next.

Today's Personal Commitment:

Practice saying the acronym REGRET to yourself and see how it sounds. Maybe you might have a better acronym for going through a tough time in your life. SO see if you can create an acronym that will help you remember a better way.

And if you create a cool one I'd love to hear it and share it with the Strong Within One Percenters crew…that's that I call you guys, my audience, if you didn't know that.

My Disappointments Guide Me To Better Decisions

Meet The Millers "No RAGRETS"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjkLKKgOMRY

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays-#421 February 25th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Kindness Is My First Language

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." ~Lao Tzu

I've had the pleasure of meeting some amazingly authentic and kind people, and I've had the pleasure of meeting some major a-holes…and if I was being loving towards myself both would have the same effect on me. Meaning, I wouldn't let unkind people get to me because I know there's something more behind that wall they have up.

Sure I'd rather deal with kind people, but when we think of kindness we think about sharing it with others or others being kind to us. And we forget, that the greatest kindness is the one we direct towards ourselves.

I've always said that a world where people focused more on themselves would be a better world. And no, I'm not talking about self-centeredness, I'm talking about being kind to yourself and doing things that help you grow as an individual. For when you take time out for ourselves, when you purposefully work to be kinder to yourself, you become calmer, happier, and a more pleasant individual…because the hardest critic we will ever face will be the one in between our ears.

The Dalia Lama said his religion was kindness. What if that were our religion too? What if it were our main mission to love people no matter what…because we decided to love ourselves first. I've spent a good portion of my life spreading kindness and trying to love people to the best of my ability, even the a-holes. But sometimes I saw myself trying to love others so hard because I had so much trouble loving myself. It was my deflection tactic. If I focused more on others, then I wouldn't pay attention to the negativity I used to harbor towards myself. I figured that if I could get enough people to love me, then I might feel better about myself. And it was a painful cycle that made me feel worse because the answers that I thought would make me feel better kept me feeling even more empty inside.

How kind are you to yourself?

Do you ever look in the mirror and say "Wow! You look good today. I hope you go out and do amazing things today!" Have you ever stopped to look at a project you've been working on and say great job and pat yourself on the back celebrating the small wins along the way? Have you ever taken yourself out to a movie, or a walk, or a place that you love just because you knew you needed someone to take you to a nice place you enjoy?

I think we spend so much time trying to make others feel good, to make others feel important and loved…that we forget to love ourselves. We forget to do the things we do for other people for ourselves. As we rationalize, that would be silly to take ourselves out because we believe that if we were worth it, someone would do it for us. Or maybe we've told ourselves the story that we're too busy with everyone and everything else that there's no time for us…and so we always come last in being taken care of, if at all.

Over the past few months I've been feeling this heaviness, this resistance, this resentment inside myself. And I could blame it on other people. I could blame it on those who took me for granted, I could blame it on those who took advantage of me because they only wanted my positivity or kindness in their life. And I could even blame the a-holes of the world who hate everyone. But the reason I've been feeling this heaviness, is because I've been giving from an empty cup. I've been giving in hopes of getting back what I was giving…and that's a recipe for disaster because what we give is unique. So when we expect others to reciprocate our love exactly the same way back, that's a surefire way to be disappointed. People need the room to love in their own way, and we need to respect that.

I want to ask you a question. Are you being kind to yourself first, so you aren't having to look for that love outside of yourself? I know that's easier said than done, but learning from personal experience, people won't be there for you like you need them to be all the time. And one of the greatest ways to find comfort in any situation is to love yourself enough first before you go trying to spread every ounce of your love…to everyone else.

Now don't get me wrong in thinking I'm saying love yourself and to hell with everyone else. I think with love it always comes down to the same answer: are you loving yourself and others in a matter that keeps you balanced?

Sure, there will be days where I'm giving more love and kindness out, and there will be days where I am working to give and receive more love towards myself. We construct ourselves to be more balanced individuals by becoming aware of those days, weeks, and months that we're feeling more resistance or heaviness within…and then asking one simple question, ok maybe two:

• What's going on?
• Am I trying to force things?

When I become aware of the resistance within myself, it brings up a red flag in my mind, which makes me pause and begin a self-analysis. I then begin going through a checklist in my mind by asking what's happening for me to be this way.

When we become aware of those subtle signs in our minds and our bodies, we then begin changing not only a situation but the whole direction of our lives. Some people spend years living in their own personal hurricanes and rainstorms. And I know the world can be a hateful and mean place at times, but there's always something beautiful going on that we can put our attention towards. I believe the best way to change a negative situation is to ask, "how can I love myself more through this?" And I believe you'll find yourself not only feeling better by doing this, but you'll find the people and the situations around you changing too. Whether that be by them leaving your life, or you changing them by changing your energy.

The times that I had the greatest energy, the most hope, and the confidence to tackle anything in my path…was when I was taking time to love myself; when I was taking time to be kind to myself. We cannot transfer what is not within us. So are you sharing kindness with others, by first sharing it with yourself?

Today's Personal Commitment:

How kind are you to yourself?

Do you deliberately take time out to do nice things for yourself?

I think we get so caught living in a world of doing, as we trap ourselves within the daily hustle and bustle of life, that it can be easy to take for granted what self-love can do for us.

Maybe you're good in this area, but in my experience, I've seen a lot of pain and hurt come from not loving ourselves. When people hurt us, it's easy to lash out at others. And I believe taking out our frustrations on others happens more frequently when we weren't comfortable in sharing consistent kindness within ourselves.

Because if someone wrongs you, sure it may sting, but someone who's loving themselves to the best of their ability won't take it as hard…because they're getting the love they need already. They understand people are dealing with their own demons and the hurtful action had nothing to do with them—it was just a reaction of what the other person was dealing with.

So this week, I want you to write down three things you'll do purposefully to love yourself a little more. Maybe it could be something as simple as reading a book you've been putting off because you've been too busy. Maybe it's going to the movies alone, so you aren't worried about someone else liking the movie or not, or whether you chose a movie they would've preferred. Maybe it could be going for a drive in your car when you need a break to blast the radio and sing at the top of your lungs where no one will judge you.

You decide, but I think it can be fun to take yourself out. It's fun to be kind to others, but it's even more fun to share kindness when we have shared kindness with ourselves first.

Oh and when you go on your self-date, shoot me an email to tell me what you did. I would love to share those ideas on another podcast to give people inspirations for their own self-dates. You are pretty dang sexy, you deserve to take yourself out on the town. So shoot me an email at [email protected] as I'd love to hear about all the things you learned from doing something specifically…just for you.

Kindness Is My First Language

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergistic Saturdays-#420 February 24th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Choose Efficiency Over Perfection

"Some people mistake grit for sheer persistence - charging up the same hill again and again. But that's not quite what I mean by the word 'grit.' You want to minimize friction and find the most effective, most efficient way forward. You might actually have more grit if you treat your energy as a precious commodity." ~Reid Hoffman

I work to teach people to be more efficient than to be better. It's not that good is bad, or that you shouldn't work to achieve something better in your life. But it's those terms that are subjective to whoever's saying them. One person's good is another person's bad; and sometimes when we are consistently looking to become better, we burn ourselves out from never being satisfied. We are always trying to achieve just a little more and never stopping to celebrate our small wins. We can mistake being better as beating our head against a wall harder. And it can be a slippery slope to get caught in the idea that whatever we do will never be good enough…and that's a tiring way to live.

So instead of only being good, or working to be better what if you were to look at being more efficient. When you're working towards a goal, what if you were to ask yourself how can I be more efficient in reaching this goal? While that can seem like a subjective term, being more efficient helps us to be awakened to be more deliberate in what effectiveness looks like. Whereas good or better don't really have measuring sticks, it's just about trying to do something more and hopefully being successful. Efficiency makes us be more deliberate, as we are asked to be awakened in our lives.

Perfection is a plague, and it affects all of us some of the time, some people more than others. And the idea of perfection cripples us when we are trying to obtain it because it's unobtainable. This point makes me think about a comic strip I used to read called Mother Goose and Grimm. The best part of this Sunday comic strip was the dog, Grimm. Grimm loved to chase cars, and in one drawing I remember he was all bandaged up head to toe chasing a car in a wheelchair…and the lady in the passenger seat of the car looks back and says "Boy that dog never quits."

I always remember him chasing cars and smashing his nose in when realizes it's parked. Which I found hilarious, and still do…as you can tell I'm easily amused. But we are like that dog, endlessly chasing one parked car after another. We run into that parked car trying to catch something unobtainable and when we see that the car isn't perfect and it didn't have what we were looking for we chase another parked car, and another. We endless pursue the goal hoping we can reach it, but no matter what's in that car we'll never be satisfied because the goal is always changing…and it will never be good enough.

And I believe one great way to fix our obsession with chasing the unobtainable (besides imagining ourselves chasing parked cars) is to forgive ourselves.

You aren't going to know everything, you aren't going to be Superman or Superwoman 100% of the time to everyone, and you aren't God all knowing and all powerful. We all have limitations, and when we forgive ourselves for having limitations, we begin being more efficient in our lives. We become efficient in making ourselves and the world around us healthier.

And to be healthy within our mind and bodies is to know what's important to us. I'm a people pleaser. I want to do anything for anyone because I love helping people, but also it was a self-esteem thing for me too. Because if you are saying yes to everyone, then they can't be mad at you right? But you can't be everything to everyone, and if you're chasing perfection and always saying yes, you'll be failing more times than you're helping. Because everything you say yes to is something else you will have to say no to. And most times you will be saying no to yourself and be getting burned out and resentful from not being able to set clear boundaries for yourself.

It's ok to say no, it's ok to not be everything to everyone. Because really what we want to do in life is do whatever we do…well. But if we're trying to do it all, we began doing it ALL… poorly.

You are going to fail, I am going to fail, so wouldn't you rather fail at things you choose to pursue? Wouldn't you rather get better by learning from those mistakes in pursuing what's important to you? And don't you want to have more energy for yourself and the people around you so you can actually achieve goals instead of always fizzling out from burn out?

You can do anything you want in this world, but most of us are trying to do it all at once. So when you forgive yourself and understand while you might be Superman or Superwoman… you can't be that for everyone all of the time. So find what matters to you, find ways to fail and learn from your mistakes, find more ways to say no to the things you don't want to do so you can say yes to the things you do want to do, and love yourself by knowing that you really never wanted to be perfect…you just wanted to be efficient at whatever you put your effort into. And when you focus more on efficiency than perfection, you can stop hurting yourself from chasing parked cars.

Today's Personal Commitment:What are you endlessly pursuing that's wearing you out? What are the things that are stealing your energy, what people are wearing you down, and what habits would you like to leave behind?

Change seems hard because we want to do it all at once. We go on a diet and we want to lose all that weight as fast as possible. Or we want to win the lottery rather than save and invest efficiently. It's rare where I hear someone say "I want to do it slow and the right way. I want to be challenged."

And maybe those statements might sound silly to some people, but when you have to work for something…when you have to toil and be deliberate about slow change…you create lasting change.

So write down all your energy stealers from habits, to people, and to pursuits…and ask yourself if you can either leave some of them behind or if there's a way you could be more efficient in your pursuit? It really all comes down to choice—what matters to you most, and what you're willing to let go of to get closer to your worthwhile goals. Doing something well but falling many times is better than doing something right and never reaching perfection. When you prioritize efficiency over perfection…you will always come out ahead.

In fact, I had a long and hard day today. I'm worn out, and I felt this was a crappy podcast and I need to re-do it or spend more time fixing it…but I was like "you know what…good enough is good enough."

I am my hardest critic. I know I have some great podcasts, and I know some will fall short of that…so I am leaving behind perfection right now and working on being efficient to go and enjoy my Friday night. Thank you guys for reminding me…you guys are teaching me something every day. Thank you.

I Choose Efficiency Over Perfection

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Fantastic Fridays-#419 February 23rd The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Keep My Eyes Straight Ahead

"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win." ~Roger Bannister

In the mid 1900s, there was a story that began circulating in the running community. The world record for running a mile at the time was 4:01.4 seconds—a record that stood for nine years. And so a mammoth story was born that it was impossible for any human to run a mile under 4 minutes. One reason records weren't being broken was from World War II interrupting people training or focusing on sports.

A man named Roger Bannister began his running career in 1946 at age 17, and even on a light running schedule compared to other runners, in 1948 he was considered for joining the Olympic team, which he turned down because he felt he was not qualified to compete at that level yet. And after watching the 1948 Olympics, that set his resolve to make it to Helsinki, Finland in 1952.

In the 1952 Olympics, the race he competed in was the 1500m (the equivalent of .932 miles). Roger was disappointed as he finished fourth…thus not being able to place and win an Olympic medal, but he did set a British Record in the process of that race.

After his setback in 1952 Bannister began to question whether he should continue his running career or give up, and he decided he was going to be the first man to run a mile in under four minutes. So he began training harder, as his previous training regimen was quite light to other distance runners in his field.

On May 6th 1954, Roger reached his goal as running a mile in 3:59.4 seconds.

And only 46 days later a rival of his, John Landy, surpassed the record.

On August 7, 1954 a historic race was set to take place as Bannister and Landy were set to race each other in what was deemed the "Miracle Mile" race. The reason the race garnered that name was because the only two people to run a mile in under four minutes ever we set to race against each other.

Landy was in the lead for most of the race until the last bend when Roger passed Landy and never gave up his lead. And later on both runners admitted the reason Roger took the lead was because when Landy was looking over his left shoulder to see where his followers were Roger blew right past him on his right side and never looked back.

The story of Roger Bannister comes up in a lot of self-development books or speeches about how a belief can determine what we do with our lives. A paradigm shift happens, and what was once deemed impossible is now within reach with alarming breakthroughs from many other people.

After Roger beat that impossible record, the next year four other men had run a sub four minute mile and the year after that 4 more to make it a total of 8 doing what was deemed impossible.

And I want to bring up the Miracle Mile race one last time to display a point the reason Bannister won was due to not worrying about who was behind him. Which makes me wonder how many times we have sabotaged ourselves worrying about other people's progress by taking our focus away from our own efforts.

So question, where is your nose? Is it in someone else's business, or is it only in your business? You will not go far by measuring yourself to what others are doing. Yes, we can always benchmark; but a good portion of the time when we look back, it's to see how hard we should be going. Instead of living your life dictated by how hard other people are going, work to go your own pace, work to go a little further for yourself each time. Don't judge your merit or your effort by what another person is doing.

We go to our jobs, our schools, or even our family life comparing what others are doing and then falling into place with that standard. We cripple our progress by looking for a norm, looking for what's acceptable, when we should go all out creating our own standards. And if we settle for average, we will be left wondering why we always feel so unfulfilled.

There was a story told to me about teachers who were told that the new class coming in were students who needed to be challenged because they were smart. And if you didn't ask more of them, or expect more of them, they would get bored and slough off in school. What the teachers didn't know is that all of these students were below average students. And so the teachers made sure to challenge and believe in these students more than anyone had believed in them before…and you know what? All of these kids got better grades, in fact they as a whole became part of the top percentile of students in there districts. These kids were no longer failing out and doing poorly in school. In fact, they enjoyed that someone cared enough about them to ask more of them.

So are you asking enough of yourself, or are you falling in line with what's expected? One pathway will lead you to being comfortable and being hidden by the pack of everyone else…and the other way will help bring a fulfillment you've never known.

What if you decided to focus less on what others were doing, and you decided to focus on what you were capable of? How different would your life be?

Today's Personal Commitment:So, the question is begging to be asked…what are you capable of?

And if you aren't reaching your capabillities, why?

As with Roger Bannister, breaking the old myth of what was humanly possible, was because he set his mind to making it happen, and then kept his eyes forward in his pursuits. What are the myths you've been holding onto for the things you desire in your life?

And what are you willing to do to make your goals and dreams a reality?

I believe two crucial questions need to be asked to become the people we want to be:

• How organized are we in working towards our goals
• And what's our pain threshold?

Greatness comes by being deliberate in working towards something, and it also is reached by stepping out of our comfort zones. It doesn't have to be huge leaps at one time either. Vincent Van Gogh said, "Great things are done by a series of small things brought together."

I sent out a newsletter to my Strong Within subscribers... As I have decided to call this community the Strong Within One Percenters…so are you willing to be one percent better than you were yesterday? Are you willing to lean forward just a little more in your efforts? I hope so…And if you would like to be part of The Strong Within One Percenters go to my site www.chrisohearn.com and sign up for my newsletter. It will inform you of all the things I will be up to in the future. If you're on a computer you will see a pop up come up when you go to the URL box. And if you are on a cell phone just click on my daily affirmations page at my site and then click the orange box that says subscribe.

Thanks for being a part of my life guys. I am excited to see how all us One Percenters are going to change the world together.

I Keep My Eyes Straight Ahead

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#418 January 22nd The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am Constantly Nudging Progress

"Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be." ~Khalil Gibran

I came to an epiphany today, which reminded me that I'm more appreciative when I'm in pain. I'm more aware of the things I miss, of the things that are great in my life, and of my place in this life because of pain. I think it is easy to get caught in the misery of life looking at what isn't going our way and to feel alone in it all. And I won't sugar coat it; you are alone, but you aren't alone all at the same time.

We go through our pains, and we go through our struggles, saying that great people were tested like no other and they were self-made in their successes. And so we build upon an island stranding ourselves on it, feeling like it would be bad to ask for help or to let someone know we are struggling. But hiding our pains keeps us trapped in our pains. I believe in looking to find the great in everything, but I also don't believe in hiding your pain. We should talk about our pains, and then find ways to move from them.

In my life coaching practice, I'll listen to people's problems so they can get them out, but I will not be a sounding board for them to stay in their problems. We as humans have lost focus, as we get trapped in talking about problems and looking for answers, instead of looking for solutions. I know that sounds like semantics, but it's a different energy to look for a solution than to be looking for answers to problems. It's a process of bypassing the source that's shorting out our growth. I think of it like a wire that's frayed. Some people will only put electrical tape over frayed wire hoping that helps and maybe that's all that needs to be done in some janky way, or some people will cut the damaged part and re-connect the wires and then put on the electrical tape.

Now some may say, why didn't you just replace the whole wire, but if your life was a wire, you wouldn't replace the wire, you would find a way to fix the wire properly. And for a good portion of my younger life, I had a fray in my wire as I kept telling a faulty story about myself. I believed I was a burden, and that God made a mistake in my creation. And when I kept telling that story it was hard to create a life I was in love with—because whatever I did to try to change it, wasn't going to help. It's not that there was something wrong with me, there was something wrong with the way I was thinking about myself, so I had to bypass that faulty wiring and create a new bond, so I could snip away the faulty thoughts in my mind.

And I think we make change hard because we are trying to jump from point A to point B in one fell swoop. We are trying to get to the finish line as fast as possible, instead of taking small consistent steps that bring on more lasting change. Think about it this way, if you had a goal such as losing weight do you think you would reach your goal by having one very strict diet day out of 7 days, or do you think you would be more successful making small consistent changes daily?

Progress is like a door hinge—for a door that is moving, the hinges never corrode. So when you are moving with consistent gradual steps, you are breaking the rust off from your life. You are shedding the burdens that have been holding you back because you have decided to be more open, rather than closed off to change. You have decided to be continual about your movement, and you have decided you were better in motion rather than to continually tell stories about why you are stuck, or how you can't have nice things, or why you are unlucky in whatever area of your life.

Who we want to become is in the small moments. It's in the times when you wake up and decide to have a love for the day instead of disdain for doing things you don't want to do. It's in the times when you stop to really look at your partner and be appreciative for the beauty they bring into your life, as you let them know how grateful you are for them. And it's in the times before we go to bed and ask ourselves what was great about our day, and what would we like to improve from the lessons in our day.

Change isn't a bang, it's a small nudge. It's the process of us leaning more into something and asking ourselves how we can make our forward lean a consistent part of our day—a consistent part of our life. It's the habit of taking those small consistent steps so much that it would feel unnatural to not be leaning forward, to not be nudging and encouraging ourselves to see the light in the day instead of focusing on the darkness; it's the process of leaving the stories behind that are hindering us and learning to lean more towards the ones that remind us how beautiful and fragile life is. Through pain comes wisdom and appreciation, but true growth comes from continually nudging ourselves towards progress.

Today's Personal Commitment:

How could you lean a little more into the beautiful things in life today? Sometimes pain is the greatest alarm clock…but let us not get stuck there that we become numb to the fantastic things in our lives. So let's make this an easy challenge today through awareness.

• -What are the pains that you've been holding onto lately, and how can you refocus it into seeing a better story?

• -And last question, what are the beautiful things in your life you've been taken for granted? What are the things you want to stop missing out on in your life?

And after you answer that last question…do something about making those things or people know they are an integral part of your life. So go live, and be in joy with them. Go and tell them how grateful you are that they are in your life…whether it be through kind actions or genuine words reassuring them how much they mean to you.

I Am Constantly Nudging Progress

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#417 February 21st The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Find Wisdom Thru Silence

"Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom." ~Francis Bacon

A westerner came to a Zen master to learn the ways of enlightenment. As the teacher invited the visitor in to sit down, he placed a teacup in front of his guest and began pouring tea, and after the cup was full, the master kept pouring as it began overflowing.

The teacher just kept pouring as the liquid began flowing onto the floor; the visitor became impatient and said "Stop! No more can go into that cup; it's full."

The visitor felt proud at himself for seeing what a Zen master could not.

The teacher then spoke and said, "you, like this cup are full of your own beliefs and assumptions. How can I teach you unless you empty your cup?"

One of the interesting things I have found out about Zen is it teaches without having to be taught. We try to theorize and tell what certain stories mean, which can be a good thing, but the most powerful lessons are the ones we come to on our own. It's like the joke that you don't have to be told what it means, as you naturally laugh at how simple it is. And that's what I believe Zen's purpose is…to be so simple that sometimes the meaning gets lost in seeking for a deeper answer.

There's a term in Zen tradition called wu wei. Wu means "without" and wei means "to do" or "to act." So the literal meaning of wu wei is, "without action" or "without effort." And sometimes it is said to be wu wei wu, which means action without action.

My greatest epiphanies, the greatest wisdom that I've been bestowed, came from my wisest teacher…silence. In the hardest times of my life I had to learn how to be one with silence, so I could empty my cup. Because during those times, my mind was filled with many emotions that literally clouded my judgment and clouded the peace I was so desperately seeking.

We spend so much time searching for answers outside of ourselves, running our mind rampant like a computer hard drive endless buzzing away trying to solve the problem. And thus we trap ourselves within the noise of our mind, never finding what we seek.

I walk every day to help clear my mind, and ever since July 18th 2015 I have walked 947 days to date…or two years seven months and one day. On my walk I listen to podcasts, audiobooks, and I sometimes call friends. But I really decided to do my daily walk outside, come rain, sleet, snow, or shine so I could stop spinning within my mind to calm myself. And so I made the purpose of my walks a time to be able to pray, meditate, and find peace within silence.

There was something so beautiful when I turned everything off and just found myself present in the walk. I breathed more deeply, I looked up at the sky and marveled at its seemingly endlessness, and I connected with my spirituality more. Maybe it might sound strange, but I was taken somewhere else, as I left the physical plane of just being me, and I was connected with everything around me. And during that time, during those hard times I was going through in my life, I was whisked from pain and struggle into peace and tranquility.

I found answers without seeking answers, I found calm without seeking calm, I found myself again without realizing I was so desperately seeking to know myself again. And knowing what I know now, I believe I had come to wie wu wei…I had found my answers in action without action.

There's a soundtrack all around us that we are missing. We are caught in a time where it's never been like this before. A time where you can watch almost any tv show that you want at any time and even pause it the middle if you desire, where you can listen to any song you like as many times as you like, where you can look up any question and find an answer within seconds, where you can relisten to radio shows at your own schedule, and where even books are read audibly to you when you want. And these are beautiful things, as it's a time where anything we want to know is literally at our fingertips.

But I believe we've traded in wisdom for knowledge as we want to know all the facts…when the facts are only a partial source to our healing and full knowing. Thomas Carlyle said, "Silence is as deep as eternity, speech a shallow as time." So are you listening to silence with the vigor that you would when listening to a master teacher speak? Are you emptying your cup so you can be open to deeper knowing? Are you finding peace within nothingness…knowing that there is something within that nothingness?

Those who have come before us may not have had Google to answer all their questions at hand…but they had something better as they were able to tune into the Universe's computer and know a wisdom that is pure and timeless…and we can get to know that place, if only we learn to empty our cups and find a way to become one with silence again.

Today's Personal Commitment:

What do you think about silence?

That's a weird question. I had never really thought much about silence except when I wanted people around me to shut the heck up. I wanted my peace and quiet. But I had to go through the hardest times in my life, to accidentally stumble into the power of silence. Two years ago a very hard situation in my life happened and so I decided to direct my attention away from misery and put it to good us. I wanted to start a podcast, and write a book and actually finish it and publish it this time, so I created a routine to help me take breaks from the writing and brainstorming. I believe it was an act of divine intervention when the answer just popped into my head. I decided I was going to walk a mile outside every day no matter what the weather was.

I did it to prove how tough I was and that I wouldn't be deterred by anything, but I did it to help me get away from my mind of the misery I was going through at the time. And something magical happened as I stopped trying to do something, and I found myself becoming one with the universe around me. And nature spoke back to me as grasshoppers encircled me in droves on some days, or how the sunrise never looked the same, or how I stopped trying to define myself by where my skin ended and the air around me began.

Your way to peace and finding your answers will be different than mine. It might be in meditation, walking, hiking, doing a hobby that relaxes you, or some other avenue that helps you to find a quietness around you and within you. I don't have your answer, but I can promise you this…when you are consistent in seeking silence and you find that place you can connect to silence…you will be taken to your heaven. It's a place of answers, it is a place of immense beauty, and it is a place of calm reminding you about the purposes of your life.

So how can you create time to become one with silence, and how can you make it a habit to continually seek the wisdom within silence? And when you do this, you will never be the same.

However, it will be a continual search, as humans, we are quite forgetful. And when I ask myself why am I feeling resistance, why am I so stressed, a vision comes into my mind as I visualize myself walking outside. Because over the past 2 and half years of doing my daily walks I've had the time to think about a lot of things. I've had time to wrack my brain until it couldn't think anymore and it submitted to silence…and that is where I found my peace. My silence is the Universe speaking to me. My silence is walking with God. Your silence may be different, and that's perfectly ok.

So where do you find your silence? Sometimes we need a tragedy to help us stumble into silence, but it's my hope that you find your way to it before then. Because a tragedy is no time to start preparing to do the work. A calm life is built by readying ourselves before the storms hit that will inevitably come our way in the future.

I Find Wisdom Thru Silence

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Tag Me Tuesdays-#416 February 20th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am Centered By Being At Peace With My Past

"I don't have mom issues or dad issues. I think I have found peace about many things in my past. I have forgiven and asked to be forgiven." ~Xavier Dolan

A great swordsman wanted to make amends for the killing he had done over his lifetime. He was considered the best swordsman alive, and so people came near and far to fight him and beat him so they could gain the title. The swordsman did whatever he could to not fight as he'd use sticks, brooms, umbrellas, trash can lids, cooking pans, and even his hands. He knew that if he used a sword, it wouldn't be a good end for whoever he faced.

He no longer had resorted to defeating people by killing, and to draw a sword would only end in the sword needing to complete its mission of savoring blood. Peace came from the swordsman in knowing that he didn't have to defeat anyone, it was about forgiving his past, and making amends in the present to be the person he wanted to be.

Are you at peace with your past? I know that sounds like a straightforward answer, but it's a deeper question that I think takes time to dig into. I believe that any resistance I feel is from not being at peace with something. When something doesn't feel right, it's a chance for me to question why am I feeling this way. Why is my stomach in knots, why is my head hurting, why are my shoulders tight, why does my body feel so sluggish right now?

And yes there might physical reasons to those ailments; such as we might have worked out, or we pulled a muscle, or been in an awkward seated position for awhile…but our body, mind, and soul are giving us physical and emotional signals all the time. We've gotten in such a hurried manner by being so busy in our lives that we've been missing those crucial signals trying to awaken us. And over the years we get numb to the signals and think it's just a normal part of life.

All those signals are letting us know something isn't right at the moment; something is out of alignment. And when we don't listen to those signs, we are destroying something within ourselves. We are destroying our happiness, we are destroying our peace, we are destroying future opportunities of abundance; all by not listening to the signs that are being sent to us whether physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I've talked about resentment a lot lately, and it's because when I have it within my heart it's gnawing at my soul; it is gnawing at my peace and happiness, as it's like that sword wanting to taste more blood and destruction. And to take that feeling of resentment and break it down, it comes from the story we are telling ourselves about what happened. It's a perception about how we are experiencing something, and when we feel hurt it's easy to put the blame on other people to make them out to be the bad guy. And maybe they did mean to hurt us but when we hold onto resentment for whatever happened, it isn't hurting the other person it's only destroying us.

And those things we hold onto, those stories we tell, we think are things protecting us. We use them as mechanisms to deflect us having to do the harder work and trying to fold it into an easier answer. I know personally how it's much easier to go into self-pity, it's much easier to make someone else the bad guy, it's much easier to find resentment for things not working out how we expected…than to tell a different story. A story that helps us create peace in our lives.

I'm not saying that we ignore people hurting us, but most people in our lives aren't out there trying to purposefully hurt us. But if there are people out to purposefully hurt us, it's from behaviors they learned long ago that they think will help them survive in their world. It doesn't make it right, but when we stop putting the blame on people hurting us and decide to tell a story of being in control, then the peace in our life changes. You see, it wasn't about them doing something to us, it was us deciding how we wanted to feel about it and move on in a way that was healthy for us. And I've done a lot of unhealthy things in my life like hold onto pain, resentment, hurt, revenge, or whatever negative emotion I could utilize because that was easier to do than to say I was in control of how I wanted to feel.

And as I said earlier, living with that pain and resentment, only keeps you in misery. And it keeps you actively destroying small pieces of yourself over and over again stealing the peace and calm you truly desire. And peace all comes down to two things:

• What story are you telling about the experience?
• And then choosing to live in the story that brings healing instead of living within

The choice is ALWAYS yours. And to live a life that matters, to live a life that feels good most times—is to choose to know you are always in control of how you want to feel…about anything.

Today's Personal Commitment:The most crucial question you can ask is, "is holding onto this more important than…?"

Is holding onto this more important than being at peace in my life…is holding onto this more important than the happiness in my life, is holding onto this more important than being able to move forward to better things in the future? Because holding onto the pain and resentment will only bring one thing, more of the same, and it will kill the opportunities of having a better future by living in the past of your pain.

This is about making peace with your past, making peace with people, and making peace with yourself. Because what we hold onto is actually holding onto us. Because what we hold onto that doesn't feel good is what is destroying us. We have become our own swordsman killing more and more parts of our happiness in every moment.

And to believe more in pain, chaos, and resentment is to not have faith in anything but misery. Natalie Cole sums it up nicely I think… "I had to make peace with my past because I can't change it."

So let us do what we can by changing our present moment as we focus on healthier ways of living. Because if you think about past resentments you held onto years ago, most times you've forgotten about it, or it worked itself out. So by holding onto that negative experience, we are receding the process of healing to keep us trapped longer within our pains.

If you are feeling out of alignment, write down what resentments or pains you're holding onto, why you are holding onto them…and ask yourself two questions:

• Is holding onto this more important than having peace, love, joy in my life?
• And if it isn't how can I pivot from my pain into focusing on a better way of looking at it and dealing with it?

I Am Centered By Being At Peace With My Past

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Mindful Mondays-#415 February 19th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

My Focus Dictates My Future

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do." ~Pope John XXIII

Who we become is not determined by who we are, because that is a faulty question in itself…and the reason I say that is because you were created to do impossible things. The mere fact that you are still breathing, that you still are moving, that you are still thinking—means that your possibilities are limitless.

We are beings with free will, with choice, and we have the ability to get better at anything we decide to put our time and attention to. I think it was Einstein who said something like 'anyone can get great at anything, just for some it takes a little longer.' And if something is important to you in obtaining, you will be willing to put in a longer amount of time if need be.

I am a proponent for speaking and thinking towards the ideas of who you want to be one hundred percent of the time. For when we keep our attention on where we don't want to be it's easy to get trapped in thinking that's where we belong. Life is a game of cat and mouse or hide and seek. And it's not that you are running from your fears but it's that we have to choose not to live in them.

And people might say I'm anal when I talk about how we speak…but the more we speak something then the more our subconscious hears it and learns it, and the more you think about it the more you download it into your system. I know it seems illogical because we decide where we want to be, and most of those negative thoughts are just brief thoughts… right???

Maybe; but how many brief thoughts happen over and over again and build upon each other where it just becomes natural to think and see things in that negative way. And if you still don't agree with me think about a business' review or comment page. People are more likely to complain about bad service than to praise good service. We think that good service is a natural by product of the business and it's what's expected. But it took deliberate effort on the business' part to make your experience happen a certain way.

Yes there are unmotivated employees and bad companies, but an effective business works to make sure that you as a customer is thought about in every step of the process. And this may be getting off point a little bit here, but I want to talk about kindness to the people within certain places.

Whenever I'm dealing with a call center and someone is kind, patient, and helpful to me I always ask if I can speak to their manager…and I'm sure the service person starts sweating thinking oh no another customer who you can't make happy. And when I speak to their manager I let them know it's not a bad call, but it's to commend their employee on how great they were with me.

I've been in the service industry for most of my life and I know how people can forget the effort you put into making their experience a good one. And for me even if the work was subpar, I want that person to know that I noticed them and I wanted them to have a better day…even if it's just thanking them for their time and wishing them a great day ahead.

But the point I'm trying to make is that it's my hope that my kindness will change that person. It's my hope that that person will think more highly of themselves and that people are watching and noticing them. It's my hope that they take that knowledge and don't stop at giving the bare minimum the job requires, but to go above and beyond because it's now a part of them. Now I know I can't change anyone, but I think I can be the spark, or the catalyst, to cause a chain reaction towards a better change.

Your life is the sum of your thoughts, the sum of your actions, the sum of what you speak…which is ultimately the sum of what you believe. Your beliefs will dictate who you think you were, who you think you are, what you think you can do, and who you think you can become. And a belief isn't a finite substance…it's the small things we do in every moment that will lead us to a certain outcome. So when we keep looking towards impossibility, and when we keep finding ways to see the negativity and prove it in our lives…we will find that we begin to make that our home.

So today let's, you and I, make a commitment to seek a higher truth. Let us look to find the possibility in so-called impossibility, let's look to find the beauty in the so-called ugliness, let's look to find power from our so-called weakness, and let's make sure to put our one hundred percent focus on not only seeing what we want to see in life, but then following through to create it. The world around you, is not dictated to you…it's determined by you. Because when you think about it…the mere presence of you is a fact that a miracle is happening, and when you think that way…then every problem is one more opportunity to live better.

Today's Personal Commitment:I get it, it's hard to focus one hundred percent of the time on what you want. It's easy to look at what's going wrong, it's easier to see the people who have wronged you as you live in resentment because of it, and it's easier to notice why things don't work out for your life like you'd hoped they would.

But when doubt the power we have in our lives by focusing on untruths in our words, actions, and thoughts…then we get trapped in misery. We get stuck within a dungeon that is not ours.

So I have a few questions for you:

How did you start your morning? Do you go through the routine of what you normally do, maybe even wishing you could go back to bed; or were you excited that you could make this day whatever you wished it to be? Did you speak with kindness towards yourself? Did you speak with kindness towards the day? Did you speak with kindness towards others? And did you speak with hope and possibilities for the day ahead?

I get it, you might be saying that I'm a dreamer focusing on the impossible…but that's because you are looking microscopically. What if you started with one little thought on what was possible, and you continued that thought a hundred more times, and then a thousand, and then a million. Sure some will say that you'll be let down by getting your hopes up, but I say you will begin changing because you decided to put your attention to the possibility of things rather than the impossibility of things. That's the only way I've seen people make change; by focusing on where they would like to go instead of staying focused on where they don't want to be.

And hear me clearly, I said FOCUS. We need to look at problems to see what we don't like, so then we can pivot to looking at where we want to be. So looking at the problems can be good, but it's a fine line between looking, and looking too long and focusing on them.

So what is one way you can focus differently today? How can you say this affirmation more times today, how can you see more possibility in the places you feel stuck in, and how can you continue to do whatever positive thing you chose today…even when you don't feel like it? Which gets me thinking about the movie Rocky IV where Sylvester Stallone is tucking his kid into bed at night and his son asks if he's ever scared…and he tells his son:

"Well the truth is, sometimes I do get a little scared. When I'm in that ring and I'm really getting hit on, and my arms hurt so much I can't even lift them, and I'm thinking god I wish this guy would hit me on the chin so I wouldn't feel nothing anymore. Then there's another side that comes out that isn't as scared. It's another side that wants to take more; wants to go that one more-round. Because going that one more-round when you don't think you can is what makes all the difference in your life."

So I'm challenging you let that other side come out, not the side that wants life to punch you in the chin so you don't feel pain anymore, as you go that one more-round…and to continually choose to go that extra round every time because it will make all the difference in your life.

My Focus Dictates My Future

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays-#414 February 18th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

New Opportunities Excite Me

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something. Neil Gaiman

I was discussing with a friend of mine years ago. I said that I hated breaking up with people because then I have to go out and do it all over again. I was comfortable with how things were, it wasn't scary, I knew the person, I knew what I liked in them, and they knew me. And when I was meeting someone new, you're trying to figure out who they are, what they like or don't like, and you're trying to read between the lines to see if they're being truthful in talking about the angel they are; or whether they actually are a homicidal maniac.

And my friend replied back, that he loved new relationships. He said it's exciting getting to know someone. It's exciting doing something new. It's really cool expanding his knowledge in talking with someone new. And he listed off like ten reasons; he must have been thinking about that question for awhile. Which gets me thinking about successful people, in whatever area of their life they're successful in, it's not an accident they've thought about what they want, they've planned for the obstacles and wins along the way, and they're deliberate with focusing their mindset upon success and nothing else.

So my friend and I were seeing the same event…differently. He saw it with hope and excitement; where I saw it with disdain and resistance. I can't speak for my friend on the deeper reasons behind his explanations on why he loved new relationship; but for me, the reason I saw new relationships as pain was that it was scary for me. It was another person I would go out with, who had the chance of leaving me and rejecting me again. The rejection is what I feared the most—that I wouldn't be good enough….again.

I've struggled with relationships because I've been telling a story for a good portion of my life. I've been telling the story that whoever comes in my life…leaves me. And seeing things that way not only creates sadness, fear, and resistance…but it attracted more fear in my life. When one area of our life is malfunctioning, it affects every area of our life. And when we ignore the problem and sweep it under the rug thinking it's better to avoid it, that problem will rear it's ugly fire-breathing dragon head somewhere else one way or another.

But I'm digressing away from new opportunities. The only way I could find peace from my fear of new relationships was to become a monk and live in a cave away from society…and that solved all my problems.

But seriously, I had to tell a new story. I had to realize that I wasn't afraid of new relationships; I was afraid of connecting with the wrong people. And thinking that way kept me living within a lie, as I told myself internally that new relationships are painful. In fact, it went deeper than that as I told myself that ALL relationships are hard work and painful as everyone leaves anyways, so why bother.

And coming to realize this is the story I was telling, that awareness began changing my life. I'm not saying I was fully healed by snapping my fingers, but I am learning to love myself more before jumping into a relationship in hopes that someone will heal me…because the only way I'll be healed is if I decide to heal myself first. My mentor Mike told me that to be one with another, you must be one with yourself first. We must strive to be whole with ourselves first, so we aren't looking for other people or other things to fix us.

For me I would go into relationships broken, hoping that person would be the answer. When it's not that the person was the answer, but they would help accentuate the great things within me, and I would help accentuate their great things within them. But the start of that process has to begin with healing from within first.

It's like the movie Jerry MacGuire where he the main character tells the leading lady, you complete me, and all the ladies swoon after he says it. And it's a nice sentiment thinking that someone will make us whole, but the only way we become whole with another person, or even that goal we desire that we think will make us complete, is we become whole with ourselves first.

When we understand we are whole already, then we will know that the external goal or person will never complete us; they will help accentuate our happiness, our gifts, our love, our weaknesses, our strengths, and our completeness on a whole other level. Yes, people can make us better, but they don't make us whole, we decide to be that. Again, to be one with something or someone else, we must first be one with ourselves.

Today's Personal Commitment:So I took this in the direction of relationships, but how do you look at new opportunities? Are you excited because you hate the old, are you excited because you see great things in new endeavors, or are you fearful and/or resentful because with new opportunities comes change?

It's raining here in Tennessee, and it's supposed to rain more throughout the week, as it rained a good deal last week too. And on social media I see people complaining that they are over it. Not realizing that it still is February, which means it's still winter and it could be colder and more miserable. But instead, they want to complain about the current condition of what they think they don't want instead of seeing the beautiful opportunity within it.

I believe the reason we miss so much happiness in our lives is because we don't plan to be happy. We think it's something that just happens when the conditions are right, and when they fall into place… THEN we'll be happy. So we focus on what's wrong in the situation, never realizing how we are stealing our own joy away from ourselves; we never realize that we're missing a beautiful moment wishing for something more than what's happening right now.

Sure, I get it…people love the sun. But when the summer comes they'll be complaining it's too hot and how they can't wait for fall, or winter, or snow, or a different place altogether. So do you see the beauty in where you are and find the magnificence in new opportunity? Do you plan your happiness every day and make it a priority, or do you look at what you don't like and find all the reasons this moment isn't what you want?

What's the story you're telling in your life right now? Is it focused on fear of the future, regret from the mistakes in the past, sadness of what you don't have, or maybe even the issues with the present moment at hand? Or do you find beauty in the moment, no matter what's happening, as this is another chance to find new opportunities in this beautiful new day at hand?

The completeness you seek is not outside of yourself; it's always been within. And it's not that I am saying put on rose-colored sunglasses loving the things you hate…it's that I am asking you to look at what you love and find more of it in the moment.

New Opportunities Excite Me

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide