The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast

Mindful Mondays-#364 January 8th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Vulnerability Connects Me To Everything

"Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect." ~Chief Seattle A friend of mine sent me a direct message on Instagram sharing a post that said "it's strange how people that are thousands of miles away from you can make you feel better than the people who are besides you." and after they shared that quote with me, they said it's really strange, but I feel like you understand me very well.

I responded back, "well, we all are one. As humans, we fundamentally experience the same fears and emotions. They only seem dissimilar from all the different experiences we've all encountered as individuals…but we aren't that different at all. We all are…connected souls…seemingly separated by our physical forms."

And the way I've personally found that to be true, is from my own pains and secrets. I dealt secretly with my depression for many years of my younger life. I was embarrassed to let anyone know my sadness, my thoughts of suicide, and what I thought were my weaknesses. I've always loved helping people, and so the story I told in my head was that Superman couldn't show his weaknesses. How can you help someone if you don't act like you are strong? And so for many years of my life, I hid behind a mask of smiles and laughter so no one would know my pains.

I was embarrassed by my so-called weaknesses, but in the end, I was the one magnifying them. By me hiding my weaknesses, I was making it more powerful. However, I found rest from my fears as I was with a friend one night and we were drinking so that probably helped lower my protective walls a bit. I told him my thoughts of suicide and sadness over the years. He listened to my story, as he gave me his full attention. And after I said everything I needed to say, he sat for a moment quietly…and then said…"I've felt and had those same thoughts too, Chris."

And that was when an epiphany came to me: that we all are feeling the same way, we just think we're alone in our battles. We hide our weaknesses thinking we are the only ones who have them and that no one will understand us. But that's the lie we tell ourselves, to stay in the places we've trapped ourselves in. I can't speak for everyone on why they choose to stay stuck in their fears, but for me, it was the easier way. It was me choosing to reside in my self-pity. And if I stayed there, then I wouldn't have to change my thoughts and actions. Changing meant I had to do something, and I thought it would be harder to change than stay the same…but, in the long run, it was killing me inside rather than helping me.

We think that vulnerability is weakness, but vulnerability is actually being honest with ourselves and with others. It doesn't mean we have to air all of our fears; it just means that we can be real with people and let them know we struggle at times. Not because we want to stay in the struggle, but we want to be free from the struggle. And for me, keeping my struggles silent was what was keeping me imprisoned. It kept me from releasing my pains, fears, and struggles because I felt they would be a burden on others. I felt that people wouldn't understand and they would judge me harshly, and I felt that I had to be strong for everyone else so I could help everyone else.

In my head, I got comfortable saying this phrase…that my problems aren't a big deal. No one wants to know what's going on with me, they have enough of their own issues, I don't need to add to it. And so I started training my subconscious to believe that I was a burden, that my problems would be a burden to others, and it was better to be quiet about my problems because everyone else seemed to be handling their problems just fine. So I stuffed my problems away silently thinking everyone else had it together, and that others didn't need me to add to their problems with my uncertainties.

But I don't do that anymore. I've gotten in front of big stages to tell my tale of sadness, depression, and thoughts of suicide almost every day from before being a teenager until my early 20s.

When I learned the power of vulnerability, when I learned to share my truths and be real with people, it made me stronger. And I became stronger not by complaining constantly about my problems, but by beginning to air them out to the world, to be real with people, and to hear that they felt the same way I did. And by doing this it helped me know that we all are connected, that we all are struggling, and that we all…are one.

That's when I began to change. I didn't know how to change at the time, but I knew I had to do something different. And so I began changing how I spoke to myself. I worked to become aware of the negative things I told myself every day, which helped me to become more aware of what I thought about myself. And when I knew the thoughts about myself that weren't helping me, I then began working on changing those.

I see us as eggs. To change the inside, it usually starts with becoming aware of what's happening on the outside. Yes, I could try to change the egg from the inside, but it usually doesn't work that way. We need to crack the harder shell first, our negative physical habits, to unearth the truest deepest core of ourselves. So I began working backwards. I began seeing what my physical habits and words were that were causing my unhappiness. I looked at what wasn't helping me, I looked at what was making me feel worse or stuck in my sadness, and then I began changing it one word, one habit, one second, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, and one year at a time. I had to start small to build up to bigger changes.

Vulnerability isn't a weakness; it's a way of us connecting with ourselves and with others. It's a way of being real with ourselves and the world. But I believe there must be a balance between vulnerability and strength. When I aired my vulnerabilities, I worked not to stay stuck there.

For example, when I would break up with a girlfriend…I'd be so sad. All I wanted to do was talk about it; and so I told everyone who would listen to all the sad feelings that had happened, all the things I did to mess up, and share anything that I could to air the hurt I was feeling. And not that that's a bad thing, but I think I felt the more I talked about the breakup then the more I could stay connected to that person. And so I talked and talked about hurt incessantly as a way to release the pain, but it was hurting me more because it was keeping me connected in a way that kept me sad.

So I think we should be real with people, but we shouldn't be doing it to stay in the vulnerability; we should be doing it to connect with people, to air our stories and let them know we aren't perfect but we are real…and that's what shows our strength. When we do that, we move on, we actively work to leave the sadness and the hurt behind, which in turn helps us to begin living within our strengths and making that a part of our every day lives.

Today's Personal Commitment:What are the things you're hiding? I'm not saying you have to air your fears or weaknesses to the world, but maybe you can find a way to stop hiding from them or stop sweeping them under the carpet like they don't exist.

Take a look at the vulnerabilities you've decided make you weak and ask yourself, how you can be vulnerable to face them instead of ignoring them or hiding them? This is not about dragging up the past to live in it, but it's about confronting something that matters so you can move from it more efficiently. So, take a piece of paper out, and think about the vulnerabilities that you've been hiding—that weakening you because you're ignoring them or running from them.

My mentor Mike instilled within me a saying that he lived his life by, "I don't fight or flight, I face and forgive." So how can you face your fears, your vulnerabilities, and forgive yourself in the midst of them? They aren't your weaknesses, they actually are your strengths. You running from them is what weakens you.

Vulnerability Connects Me To Everything

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays - #363 January 7th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I'm Prepared For What's Ahead

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." ~Mark Twain

Have you ever thought about the possibilities in a moment? And not the possibilities you want to happen, but the number of possibilities that are in each moment. It's mind numbing to fathom what an infinite amount of possibilities could be. I was thinking about this myself and just for context, I looked up how much space a billion pennies would take up. And on a site, I found that if you stack each penny to the size of one of those long yellow school buses 9 of them would equate a billion pennies. It also said that "if you stack all those pennies one on top of another, that the stack would reach nearly one thousand miles high. For comparison, the space shuttle typically only orbits 225 miles above the earth's surface."

I'll include the link to those stats as they have more information on that…but it doesn't matter how many pennies you could stack…it still wouldn't amount up to the number of possibilities in every moment. And the reason I bring this up is that no matter how much you prepare for things, you will never be fully prepared. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't use common sense, or not prepare, or that we should be petrified of everything that could happen. I believe it just means we should be preparing our whole life for things.

It was a cold Friday night in Tennessee. The temperature was somewhere around 20 degrees Fahrenheit…and as I was driving home and I wanted to stop at my favorite healthy restaurant…Little Caesar's Pizza. I had to get me one of those $5 hot and ready deals; you know where you just pop in without having to wait and pick up the pizza and leave the store in a matter of minutes. Ok maybe it wasn't the healthiest choice, it was the fastest choice.

It was cold, and I wanted something quick and easy..and I do love me some Little Caesar's.

I stopped in and got in line, and there was a mother and daughter in front of me that had shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals on with no socks. Now I normally wouldn't have a judging eye to people who have a death wish in this cold weather, but living in Colorado I learned how preparation can be the bridge to life or the pathway to death. I was in elementary school, and my father was driving the whole family which consisted of my mom, my bro, and myself. We were in our big suburban. And this thing was a beast, my dad still owns it, and it still runs even as it's 34 years old at the moment.

It was a snowy cold night in Colorado, and the temperature was somewhere in the teens that night. That's a Colorado heat wave during the winter. During our trip, the Suburban broke down and we had to walk to find help. I wasn't prepared. I only had a sweatshirt on and no gloves or jacket to protect me from the cold. We walked over a mile to get to a gas station to use a payphone. I felt like my fingers were going to fall off from the pain of the cold as I was worried I might have frostbite.

Luckily we found a place to get warm and call us a tow truck to get the suburban to a repair shop, and then get us home as well. Before this incident, I would've never thought about dressing appropriately for the weather. Granted this incident happened before most people have cell phones…but if it would've never happened I would've thought things like; I have my car to keep me warm, I have a cell phone in case something happens, or I'm in a populated place where someone could help me. And yes that all can be fine and nothing bad ever happens to you, but you never know your circumstances.

Maybe your car could die and you can't turn it back on to get heat from it, maybe it could be at a time during the day when no stores are open and you're not close to a 24 hour gas station, maybe your phone could be low on its charge and die or maybe you can't get a signal where you are. We could go over a million possibilities of what could happen that might be a bad situation for you. The only reason I think about this now is because I was unprepared in a bad situation that seemed normal for me.

We don't think about those small things about being prepared for the situations we're in. We don't think about if our car breaks down in the cold and if we can't reach anyone. We don't think that maybe we should be dressed for the occasion until it's too late. We don't think about if our house would catch on fire if we have an emergency box at the door that has our must haves such as critical medicines we need to take, maybe an emergency credit card and some cash, contact numbers, and our keys and cell phone.

We don't think about the tragedies that could happen, and so if something does happen we aren't ready…and that could be the difference between life or death. It could be the difference between surviving with all your limbs intact or having to pay the consequences for not being aware of your surroundings and doing the right thing at the time.

Now this podcast isn't to scare you and be afraid of every little disaster that can happen. A tragedy can happen at any time…but also a miracle can too. I just want you to be aware of your surroundings. I want you to not rely on everything going perfectly as it has before and you not being prepared for the situation. Now with a fire, a tornado, or some other event that can happen instantaneously…that's one thing. But like my Little Ceaser's story of the mother and daughter in front of me, those are things in our control. Those are things that we take for granted and make silly choices saying I'm safe because I have always been safe…my car will continue to run fine, my phone will be charged and ready to call for help, or that stores or people will be there to help me when misfortune happens.

We make assumptions that things will always be fine, and then when something bad happens, we aren't prepared for it. And when we aren't prepared for a bad situation, it's a recipe for more bad choices. But if we take the time to be aware of the conditions around us, then we not only increase our chances of making better choices, but we might change our outcome from a matter of possible death to a matter of imminent survival.

I was reading a book called The Survivor's Club. And every chapter talked about how to survive a different disaster. It talked about how to think before the accident and what to do during the event. Such as one chapter talked about surviving a plane crash. In the book it said most people who die in a plane crash that survived the impact of the crash…actually perish from smoke inhalation. Those first 90 seconds are the most critical in getting off the plane.

The book said you should know where the closest emergency exit is to you. You should count the number of seat rows to the nearest emergency exit to you in case you can't see anything if the smoke is limiting your vision. You can then feel your way to an exit if need be. And it also talked about remaining calm during the situation as people panic and make mistakes…but by being prepared and knowing and doing certain things when you board a plane…you're helping yourself not to panic because you have prepared yourself.

Now while I took a darker route of surviving disastrous events for this podcast, it was to illustrate my point better. In every instance of your life, the more aware you can be of your surroundings, of where you're going or wanting to go (whether that be physically or even mentally), then the more prepared you can be. Preparation doesn't always ensure success, but it raises your level of prevention. And maybe that's why I'm always teaching my life coaching students about pivoting their negative thoughts from the bad into finding the good in the situation. It's not that I'm teaching them to ignore what's going on…but I am preparing them…I'm getting their mind primed to find a better solution in every instance.

You won't know every problem that can occur, but if you prime your mind to think differently, to become aware of your surroundings, to see things and take action on the better choice than just doing what's easier at the moment…then you'll find your life will be smoother. You'll find that you've made it a habit to continually prepare…not for disaster but for success.

I think of the Boy Scouts motto, and in Robert Baden-Powell's book Scouting For Boys he defines what being prepared means:

"The Scout Motto is: BE PREPARED which means you are always in a state of readiness in mind and body to do your DUTY.

• -Be Prepared in Mindby having disciplined yourself to be obedient to every order, and also by having thought out beforehand any accident or situation that might occur, so that you know the right thing to do at the right moment, and are willing to do it.
• -Be Prepared in Bodyby making yourself strong and active and able to do the right thing at the right moment, and do it."

So, are you aligning yourself up properly? Are you preparing your mind and body to not only survive this life…but to become more aware by aligning yourself up with success instead of tragedy. Sometimes the easiest thing is not to take the easier road, but to do what common sense would require. So it's my hope that it's not true as people say nowadays, that common sense isn't as common anymore.

Today's Personal Commitment:Do you have a life motto?

What is it?

And if you don't, what would be a good motto for your life?

My motto has to do with the life values I've set for myself. When I publish my book I'll teach you how to find your values as well…but for now let's keep it simple as I'll share my motto with you: I Live Within My Values In Every Moment. This motto helps to remind me of what my values are and ask myself if I'm residing in them constantly. I work to be aware and present, but I do get very forgetful at times…so I have my values pinned in a place where I'll see them constantly.

So figure out your motto, write it down, and then place it in a spot that you'll see it consistently to remind you—to always be prepared in mind and body for your life. I'm Prepared For What's Ahead

Website for the billions of pennies: https://holykaw.alltop.com/what-does-a-billion-pennies-look-like

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergistic Saturdays-#362 January 6th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am Encouraged Every Day

"I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day, and as nearly as possible reaching the high water mark of pure and useful living." ~Booker T. Washington

Words are powerful, and the particular word or words you use might change the whole equation in how you make a goal or dream yours, or if it's always just out of your reach.

In a previous podcast, I said the affirmation, "I find magic wherever I go." And the reasons I said the word "find," is because I believe in every moment there's beauty and all we need to do is open our eyes and see what's already there.

I usually don't like to use the word find because it means that you aren't in control of the thing you are seeking. You are looking to claim something in hopes that you might locate it someday. But for that particular affirmation, I wanted people to know that everything is magic…even the so-called normal, ordinary instances that happen all the time in your life. I prefer to say the word "create" instead of find, but in the previous podcast it wasn't about us creating a great moment…it was about knowing the great moment was already created for us.

The reason I bring up word choice, is to help prove the power in the words that we decide to utilize in our lives. So, if I were to say I find encouragement or I create encouragement, which one sounds more powerful to you.

Maybe the issue of power comes from where the observer stands. If we think we need someone to cheer us on, to tell us why we're good at something, or to help motivate us…then we are looking for encouragement outside of ourselves to get the energy to move.

However, if the observer is looking from within saying that I am in control of how I move, that I don't need people or things to motivate me, I do that—then the observer doesn't need to find anything. They are creating their energy themselves.

I was working with a life coaching student, and we were looking at the things that brought up her depression and kept her stuck in emotions she didn't want to be in. I was hoping to help her become so aware of those places that weren't in alignment with how she wanted to feel so that she could do something before the depression happened. The associations she made to certain things in her mind were deciding her emotions. Take for example; she told me that when she was home alone in her den, she felt depressed because all the kids were moved out of the house as they had grown older. And being divorced without a love interest in her life, the den was such a big area that she said it made her feel alone with all that space around her.

In our activity, we decided to call all the places, actions, or thoughts that brought upon depressive episodes or sadness…her red flags. And by her becoming aware of her red flags, meant that she could do something before the emotion became too overwhelming for her. It meant that the red flag wasn't the cause of the sadness or depression…it was the warning system to let her know that her thoughts were processing things a certain way that wasn't helping her.

I dealt with depression for a good portion of my younger life, and while things made me sad, or I felt hopeless, or even when I thought about suicide…it was I, who ultimately made myself sad..not the thing, person, or event. I decided how to process an event. I was the one who decided a situation was hopeless; I was the one who decided I couldn't do anything to change it; and it was I, who kept coming back to thoughts that weren't productive for myself. I had to change the way I processed those events to change the emotions that I associated with those events.

And so with my life coaching student, after she labeled and wrote down all of her red flags, I asked her another question: "What can you do to help yourself NOT get into those red flag areas?"

She thought for a moment and then began giving some solutions. She talked about going for a walk, not sitting in the den in the afternoon, not taking midday naps when she didn't need them, having lunch with friends, working out, and I am sure she said a few more.

And I said, "those are all great things, but what will you do if you can't do the thing you've decided upon? What if you can't get to the gym at the moment, what if you can't go on that walk right then, what if none of your friends are around to have lunch with you?" Now, this was more of a rhetorical question to get her thinking about seeing a deeper answer. It was to help her see that the solution was not in something external, but SHE was the solution.

Sure, working out, getting out of the house, hanging with positive friends, or going for walks are all awesome things to do…but still, they are physical things that we are seeking outside of ourselves to control how we feel. I wanted her to see she was the answer. I wanted her to see that the physical action was an after effect, it wasn't the ultimate solution…it was part of the equation.

And maybe I'm getting off point since this podcast is about encouragement, but I think I'm hitting the head of the nail dead on by saying that the greatest encourager we will ever have in our lives will be ourselves. The greatest encouragement will be what we tell ourselves and where we focus our thoughts continuously. So if you're seeking someone or something to encourage you, then you will always be in an endless pursuit to find a reason why you are doing something. You will always be in a place that is out of your control.

So how do we find that encouragement within then? Well, everyone's different, so I can't give you the cookie cutter equation, but maybe I can begin pointing you in the right direction. One of the biggest ways to be encouraged is to know yourself. When you know yourself, you can begin to know your purposes and your likes in life. When you know these things, it's much easier to be encouraged as you find more ways to work towards them. When we don't know ourselves, it brings on a lot of uncertainty; and uncertainty brings with it anxiety, fear, hopelessness, and even caution. And not that caution is a bad thing, but when you are uncertain…you walk on eggshells not wanting to do the wrong thing. But when you know yourself, when you have a directed purpose, it's not that you shouldn't be cautious…but it's that you know what you want, and you're more willing to jump into the things that align with that purpose. You're more willing to move towards things that help enhance your already amazing feelings and emotions into something even bigger and better.

Encouragement can come from external sources, but when you find ways to be encouraged from within—you 'll find not only greater joy in life, but you'll also find more ease upon the path you travel. Not because your path changed, but because you changed…which then changed your path. The turbulent turns and bumps in your path become straightaways just by the way you decided to think about them and see them. And as Booker said in his quote, encouragement can be created by people doing their level best every day while reaching to be pure and useful in their lives. So how useful are you in this life, and are you aware and living in alignment with your purposes?

Today's Personal Commitment:

What are your red flags? What are the things that are keeping you from being happy, that are keeping you from your purposes, and that are keeping you stuck? And once you write them down, write down what you'll do to deal with those red flags?

Figure out what you need to do physically…whether it is to create a fitness habit, to have a list of friends to call or hang out with, or even places to go that bring you peace. And then look inside yourself, go deeper and ask how you can change the way you see those red flags. How can you be the change instead of needing something else to change you? How can you be encouraged within every day to be a better person, a happier person, and a person in line with their purpose? How can you be a person who doesn't need external encouragement? Sure, external encouragement is always nice, but it's my hope that you'll have come so far in your growth that you'll see you won't need it to reach where you're going.

I Am Encouraged Every Day

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Fantastic Fridays-#361 January 5th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Find Magic Wherever I Go

"I am a great admirer of mystery and magic. Look at this life - all mystery and magic."

~Harry Houdini

I loved magic when I was a kid. I thought it was amazing how someone would have secret knowledge of the exact card that was picked from a deck without you having to tell them what you picked. It fascinated me so much that I kept a deck of cards with me wherever I went for a brief time in my younger life.

I remember being at the airport during a layover and a gentleman sat next to me, and I was like oh man this guy is in for a treat I'm going to wow him. And so without even saying hello, like an eager young innocent child…which I was, I flayed out a deck of cards with my hands and said "pick a card, any card…I bet I can guess your card."

Now either he was amused by my candor or he didn't know what to do so just complied so I would stop bugging him as soon as possible. I was so sure I would get it right and that I would amaze him and make his day by proving I was a magician of great worth. And so, he picked a card and I asked him to put it back in the deck. I pulled out the card he picked waiting to see his amazement, as I said is this your card? His face turned red and I was amazed because this was a new expression I had never seen before. Usually people are wowed with their eyebrows raised high and mouths opened as they can't believe the feat of magic I just displayed in front of their eyes.

He was quiet for a few more seconds, which felt like an eternity for me, and I knew I had made this man a believer in magic. He had seen true magic!

Finally my newest magic participant spoke, and he said, I'm sorry, no, that wasn't my card." I thought there must be a mistake…and so I searched the deck frantically for his card again to save face. But with each card I pulled out, it got more embarrassing for me. But the funny thing about kids is, that I was so happy in doing magic and connecting with people, that I didn't feel bad for too long.

I said, "ok let me try again." And so I tried that trick a few more times on him and I think I eventually got it right…but for me even though I was slightly embarrassed at first…it wasn't about getting it perfect…it was about getting it right no matter how many times I had to do it. I was going to figure out his card one way or another…even if he had to pick a card 10 times for me. Now I may have been bugging the gentleman while he was waiting to board his flight, but I think he saw the beauty in a child wanting to do something right, and him being a part in helping that child succeed. And also, I'm sure he got a good laugh out of it as he probably told his friends about this crazy kid he met at the airport who wouldn't leave him alone.

The reasons my tricks didn't always go perfectly, besides the fact that I needed more practice, was because I didn't understand the theories behind the trick. And so I tried to just use my attention to detail, noticing the slight differences in the deck to guess or feel with my hand and hopefully pull out their card. So sometimes it was me guessing a little bit knowing it was somewhere in that section of a certain portion of the deck.

I wanted to learn how to become a better magician, so I checked out books at the library on magic, and my parents bought me a few books on the subject too. I learned some tricks through math and card placement, and I learned other methods on making your efforts in magic be more successful. But I think the more that I got to know the secrets behind the tricks, then the more disinterested I became in the practice of it.

Magic is a craft, and I might have seen how hard it would be to get really good at it. I saw that magicians put in hours of practice a day for sometimes years to master just one trick. So maybe I got bored in the tedious practice of it, hoping I could master it in a month. I had grand illusions of being the greatest neighborhood magician Kenton Court had ever seen. And like David Copperfield, I would wow them by putting a sheet over their dog, and make it disappear right before their eyes just like David made the Statue of Liberty disappear on television.

It sounds cliché, but when I knew what was behind the magic trick it no longer held its bewilderment to me. The fun in magic isn't in trying to find out how the trick is done. The magic is found in being amazed by something not fully understanding how it's done. As we've become adults, we want to pull the curtain back from the wizard to not be fooled anymore. We want to know the ins and out of religion, science, or why the world works the way it does…and those are all great things…but in our efforts in trying to explain a reason for everything, to see the process and order for everything…to know the whys that sometimes cannot be known why…then we begin to stop seeing magic in our ordinary lives.

We aren't impressed with evaporation as a puddle of water is pulled back into the atmosphere to be redistributed as rain. We aren't fascinated by how we can throw a ball into the air and it always return back to us. And we don't even bat an eyelash at how every year plants die in the winter and come back every spring.

We've seen the day in day outs processes of the world and they've become ordinary to us. And it's not just because we know how it happens, we've gotten used to amazing things being in our field of view in every moment…that we now see them only as ordinary. Because for things that happen all the time, they no longer become miracles, we begin to label them as regular moments.

I get into this argument all the time with people, as I'll say "every single person is amazing and so talented." And they'll rebuke back, "well if everyone is amazing then no one is amazing. Not everyone can be amazing, sometimes people are just ordinary." But I disagree with that statement; everyone has something beautiful about them, everyone has something unique about them, and just because their uniqueness isn't always meant for a worldly or grand scale…doesn't mean that they aren't amazing people.

And I think those naysayers are stuck focusing more on what people are doing with their lives, instead of seeing the magic of possibility we all have at our disposal. The possibility and chance in every moment to share our best selves with the world…whether on smaller scale or a bigger scale.

And maybe you are, or have been, one of those naysayers. I know I've been. But I would like to awaken you to a better perspective, I want you to put yourself in different shoes to be that person who finds the magic in the ordinary. To be the person who would see a puddle one moment, and an hour later see that the puddle is gone, and be wowed again by the magic of evaporation in the world. I want you to be that person who is wowed by the effects of gravity as you see a sunrise or sunset every day and know it's from gravity keeping us circling the sun. I want you to be that person wowed at the changes of seasons…instead of complaining it's too hot or too cold. I want you to be a person who see magic in the moments of your life again and finds the beauty in all of it.

There's magic all around us, and all we have to do is open our eyes. All we have to do is understand that the ordinary really isn't ordinary…we've just seen it so many times it feels normal. But normal, doesn't mean that it's not magic. So when we choose to see the magic in the moment, in the ordinary, in the normal, in what is in front of us at any moment…we make our lives magical too. We become part of the magic.

Today's Personal Commitment:What magic have you forgotten, and no longer notice in your life?

Go about your day taking notice of things you might have just passed by previously and see the magic in them again. And at the end of your day, write down a list of all the magic you experienced that day. I can guarantee it will change not only the trajectory of your day…but also the direction of your life. See if you can do this exercise for a day, a week, or even a month and then write your thoughts on how it changed you.

I Find Magic Wherever I Go

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#360 January 4th The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

The Only Reason I Look Back Is To See How Far I've Come

Have you ever thought about where the idea for the rearview mirror came from? Most likely you know it's there to see that s.o.b who's tailgating you…as you silently cuss them out in your mind. I used to listen to Paul Harvey's the Rest of The Story on the radio and I remember him talking about the rearview mirror.

If you don't know who Paul Harvey is, he had this iconic voice that would tell …as the show is titled "The Rest Of The Story"… on things or people that are common knowledge…but we didn't know the interesting facts and stories behind those things. But I'm digressing…back to the rearview mirror history.

In 1911 an Indy Car racer by the name of Ray Harroun put a rearview mirror in his race car. He wasn't the first one to put a rearview mirror in a car, as Ray said he got the idea from seeing a horse carriage having one, but he gets credited for having the first one in a race car. In the earlier days of Indy racing there would be two people in the racecar instead of only one like they do nowadays. The second rider was called the riding mechanic or the ancillary rider. Their job was to monitor gauges, make repairs, and let the driver know of cars approaching from the rear of the vehicle.

Rearview mirrors have come a long way from those early days, as Ray said that with all the vibration going on from the race and the vehicle it was almost useless in being able to see anything clearly. And most typical rearview mirrors are actually wedges of glass and mirror, not just a flat mirror…but I'll talk about how they work later.

The idea of a rearview mirror intrigues me as an analogy for our lives because we can have the tendency to be stuck looking in the past. And I think if we can create an internal rearview mirror for our lives, we can find better ways to glance at what's behind us without having to get stuck living in what's behind us.

Looking back at the past can be helpful or it can be harmful on how you process the past. If you look back to see all the things that went wrong, or how it was so much better in the past than it is now, and if you are constantly comparing the good or bad with the now—then you are always in a place of trying to prove to yourself why the now is a good place to be. And if you are in constant conflict by having to prove to yourself why the present moment is a good time in your life…then what you are saying to your subconscious is, "I don't believe my now, my present moment, is good enough because I'm always trying to find ways to prove to myself how good this moment is in my life."

And how can you really live a great life if you don't believe the present moment is the best time in your life—the only time that you actually have control over?

However, if you look back not to prove to yourself why the present is good or bad and use your so called personal rearview mirror to measure how far you've come, or what you haven't learned just yet…then you will find more comfort and ease in the moment. You will know that you are going in the right direction no matter what's happened because the past isn't a place you can live…it's only a place you can learn from. But to learn, we must be diligent in glancing, not getting stuck there.

So I want you to think about the rearview mirror in your car right now…and I'm not talking about those fancy schmancy mirrors that use advanced electrochromic technology and have all those fancy buttons on them. Think about the mirror that only has a flip switch on the bottom of it. That flip switch is there to help you see better in nighttime or daytime viewing. And most of us never think about how a rearview mirror really works, besides magic of course, but what it does when you flip that bottom switch is it changes the angle of the mirror to deflect the light differently from your eyes. For daytime it's angled to deflect the light towards your eyes, for the nighttime viewing it deflects the light away from your eyes.

Here's a little tidbit: if you ever want to do your own experiment to see how this works on the mirror, at night make sure you have the mirror in nighttime viewing mode, turn on the flashlight on your cellphone and shine the light on the ceiling to see how it looks in the mirror. You'll see how clearly you can see the light on the roof of your car. But make sure you are parked doing this… I don't want you being daredevils hurting yourself in a moving car. And that's what's so interesting about rearview mirrors, to see better at certain times, it's not really doing anything crazy…it's just pivoting or angling to deflect the light differently.

So in knowing all of that, what if you visualized yourself as a rearview mirror? What if instead of focusing so hard on all the negative things that have brought you to this horrible place in your life, you were to flip your internal switch to deflect those negative thoughts and sayings away from yourself. What if you were to bounce more positive and productive energies to yourself…more often?

Now some people might say that I'm telling you to trick yourself into feeling good, and how they're realists and would rather look at how things are…instead of being a dreamer. But I'd say it's not about looking at how things are, it's more of looking at how you want things to be. Because the only way things have changed was not in looking at something and saying there's nothing that can be done, this is how it is, but it was in seeing something more and asking how can I change this? How can I view this differently? And how can I see more from this…to be able to create more from this?

Where we put our focus, and how we process things will determine where we direct our lives. So instead of looking so intensely at what's wrong and why it's wrong, what if you were to glance in your rearview mirror and figure out the lessons you've learned, to see how far you have come, to see how much further along you are than you previously thought you were. What if instead of getting stuck in the negatives of the past, you were to pivot and angle yourself differently? What if you were to only glance back to see how far you've come…to then look forward at where you want to be going?

Today's Personal Commitment:The past is a measuring stick. Not to make you feel bad that you haven't come far enough, but to measure where you are and where you'd like to be. They say self-esteem is determined by two points on a scale. The first point being where you think you are at the moment, and the second point being where you think you should be. And the further those two points are from each other, then the lower your self-esteem.

But I think if we are eternal learners and seekers, those points will always be far away. Not because we aren't good enough to bring them closer together, but because we are always reaching for more and wanting to be more. So instead of comparing how far you points should be from each other, what if you were just to glance back and look at how far you've come? What if you were to see your past not as a series of mistakes but a series of lessons guiding you? What if you were to visualize yourself as a rearview mirror in your bad times, and when you feel all that negativity pile upon you…you just flip that internal switch…not to block the negative, but to pivot from it, to deflect it away from you…and to direct more positive towards you.

Your problems are big deals to you. I get it. We are emotionally connected to our problems and sometimes it seems like it's the end of the world. I'm not asking you to ignore your problems, but what I am asking you to do is to step back a little bit. To get more clarity on the magnitude of them…to see that you are bigger than any problem you face, you are more resilient than any problem that comes your way, and to see that all it takes is a little shift to direct them elsewhere…instead of living within them, and being consumed by them. If you're going to be consumed by something, be consumed with love, with happiness, with calm, with appreciation. In life, how we feel is always a choice that is determined by how we decide to focus on what has happened. It's all a matter of perspective. One person can see the end of the world, where another can see a beautiful new beginning or great lesson to build off of. Which person will you be?

So this week when you are feeling stressed, visualize yourself as a rearview mirror flipping your internal switch to direct better feeling emotions and thoughts during your more stressful times. And at the end of the day write down how that helped you and what you learned by doing that.

The Only Reason I Look Back Is To See How Far I've Come

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#359 January 3rd The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Live Up To My Commitments

"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both." Dwight D. Eisenhower

We live in a world where it seems easier to take the quicker, faster, less honorable road…rather than taking the harder path within the moment. And I don't think that's because we're bad or lazy people, I think it's because we have been sold a false bill of goods saying that comfort of self is more important than commitment towards self. Now maybe you might be scratching your head and asking me what in the heck are you talking about Chris?

In the world we live in, we've decided faster is better and so with technology we've traded in wisdom for knowledge. We don't want to be wise from going through experiences, we want the fast facts immediately. There's no permanence in this world…but we find more merit in the things that disappear rather than the lasting things. And here I go shouting my age from the rooftops as I talk about how I don't get Snap Chat or some of these other apps kids are using nowadays. It reminds me of my father and how he would always say my Nintendo wrong…he'd be like, "Chris you playing that "Nine"-Tendo again?" And I still harass him about it to this day.

And I think that's why we get lost as people within a society. We no longer know who we are. We don't know our values because we haven't sat down to really think about what they are and how we can apply them in our lives. I mean, how can you be committed to something that you have no clue what it is? You may be operating on a fundamental human level, as we all have an internal guidance system that tells us what is right and wrong, but as we get connected with comfort instead of commitment…we then are more willing to take the easier road first…the road that involves the "me" instead of the "we." And that's why we feel so alone in this world…we have been "plugged" in literally to an idea that's keeping us from knowing other people…and knowing ourselves.

Let me ask you a question…when was the last commitment you purposefully said out loud and followed through with?

And if I was answering that question for myself, I probably would say I don't know. Sure I made a commitment to do this podcast every day…but as I'm reflecting on what I've been doing this past year, I've actually gotten lost in the mix of just producing something and thus I've forgotten to really process internally the impact I want to be leaving.

My great friend Suzanne and I were talking on the phone and I was telling her how stressed I was… thinking I may not be able to do another year of podcasts, I didn't think I could even do the first year, and now I am committing to another 365 days…and as I said my internal thoughts out loud to Suzanne, "are you mad? I must be because I'm flying by the seat of my pants right now."

Suzanne listened to me quietly until I was fully finished whining about all my fears and she said calmly to me, "Chris I heard this great podcast the other day about knowing your why…and when you know your why…the how becomes evident." And we both laughed, not because of the content she told me, but because she was quoting my podcast I published the previous day. She was reminding me of what I was helping her to realize through my podcasts.

You see, while I act all wise and tell people what they need to remember in living a better life, I need to take my own advice. I had put too much pressure on every podcast being perfect, and if I don't do every one perfect then people won't come back. I had put the pressure on myself of making everyone happy instead of focusing on why I'm doing this—which is to bring value into the world and reach the people who it resonates with. I was trying to control everything instead of just focusing on putting value out into the world for others and for myself…every day.

And by losing focus on that goal, my focus then becomes more on being a manufacturing line. It becomes the movement of putting things out there all shiny and polished to share knowledge without applying it in my life. And if I'm only telling you what you need to do, and not stopping to think and process it in my life every day…then I'm losing my edge of being at my best with all of you. I was in danger of becoming the machine and not the heart in the operation.

In my talk with Suzanne she reminded me of two things:

• -To remember my "why" of what I'm doing, so it can help guide me. And like the quote I said from Viktor Frankl in the podcast Suzanne quoted… when we know our 'why', we can bear any 'how'. By knowing my why, it will make things more enjoyable and easier in the tougher and the good times of staying committed to that goal.

• -I need great people in my life to remind me of the things I already know but have forgotten. We all need those reminders, and that's why coaching is so powerful for people. It's not someone giving advice to the things you don't know, it's about listening, asking questions that get to a deeper meaning, and then nudging that person towards the answer they already know within…but just needed to talk it out further to figure out how to apply it. And that's where wisdom and knowledge diverge, knowledge is knowing something but wisdom is being able to live within it.

And so while I was petrified and stuck that I wouldn't be able to write another podcast and that I was all out of ideas, I was reminded of what my good friend Suzanne did for me…she reminded me of what I already knew, and she was reminding me that if I got back to my "why" of what I was doing…it would flow easier.

I believe I don't always follow through with my commitments because I've forgotten the bigger picture. I've forgotten why I'm doing something. And when I don't know my why, it's hard to know "how" to do something more efficiently. Life really isn't as complicated as we make it. And as I came back to say my "why" in my mind…this podcast prep stopped being a wall where I felt I couldn't go any further, and it became a river that flowed more naturally. I could feel the stress releasing from my body and mind as the words came much easier.

There's a quote I like that says, "commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you." But I think it goes deeper than just staying true to what you said you'd do, I believe when we etch our values to our hearts so we never forget our whys…will be one of the greatest ways to help us always be true to our commitments. It will be the tool that will help keep those emotions alive in following through with our commitment.

We've made commitments emotionless, cold, and hard truths…which can be an ok way if you just want to push through and feel nothing except satisfaction for doing what you said. But when we connect our values and our whys to the commitment, it becomes not only more likely you'll succeed but it also increases the ease and enjoyment of the process.

Today's Personal Commitment:What are the commitments you've made in the past that you're trying to continue to keep?

What are the new commitments that you've made recently and are trying to implement?

And how well are you doing in keeping the older and newer commitments?

Do you enjoy keeping your commitments? I know we don't have to enjoy everything we do. In fact, we will do things we may not necessarily like or that may seem tedious or trying when going towards something we want…and the reason that happens is from forgetting our whys. So write your commitments on a sheet of paper, write your why for that commitment, and then ask yourself if that's a commitment you want to keep?

And if it is a keeper, then ask yourself how you can be reminded daily why you are committing to it. In the end, it will make the process easier and more enjoyable…which, in turn, will make you more successful.

I Live Up To My Commitments

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Tag Me Tuesdays-#358 January 2nd The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Getting Uncomfortable Makes Me Comfortable

"Personally, I like films that make me a little bit uncomfortable because I think you're uncomfortable when something is real." ~Alice Englert

It was New Year's Eve, and it was about 9 or 10 p.m. I was thinking about all the podcasts I had to prepare for the week, as I'm behind a bit. During the weekends I like to brainstorm, script, edit, finalize and populate all I have to do for my podcasts; so that I'm a week ahead which helps me to feel more comfortable that I'll be on time for all of them. To me, it feels kind of surreal that I was able to put out 365 consecutive podcasts in a year without missing a day. In fact on Sunday's podcast, the last day of the year, there was this weird feeling that came over me…the feeling of pride in the sense of accomplishment in following through towards a goal.

I want to be real with you…yes this is a simple 5-10 minute podcast…and while it's simple…it isn't easy. It takes time to sit down and think about what would be good topics to talk about. I then will write out my thoughts on it…and sometimes that comes quickly, and sometimes I'm staring at a computer screen for hours feeling like I accomplished nothing. After I get all my thoughts down, I then will record the podcast. I make mistakes while recording, so I have to go back and edit what I said. I then convert the edited file into an MP3 file. After that, I create ID tags so that when the file plays on your radio, phone, computer—it will show you the title correctly and the artist. I then load the file onto a server to hold all my podcasts so they don't slow down my site, and I'll fill in all the blanks of the script and any other information or pictures that need to be associated with that upload. And then I will schedule that podcast file to come out on a specific day and time.

But I'm not done yet. I will then create the affirmation card in photoshop, and I'll arrange the affirmation words around so they look nice in the picture. I'll save multiple files of the picture for posting and editing purposes. I will then create a blog post for my site, and I'll put everything in the post from the MP3 file, the picture, the script, and anything else that needs to be populated into the blog.

Then on the day a podcast is published for you to listen to, I will go to all my social media accounts and send the picture out with an excerpt from my script….every day.

The reason I told you all of this was not to make you feel sorry for me or to be wowed by all I do in getting the podcast ready for you to listen to. I wanted to show you the time I put into this. Sometimes it flows easier than others, and sometimes it doesn't come as easily. Sometimes it takes only a few hours, and sometimes it feels like it takes a whole works week of hours.

And I put a lot of self-imposed stress on myself during this process, wondering if I can keep creating new ideas and publishing it day in and day out. And on New Year's Eve, I was particularly feeling the strain of being behind because of taking more time for myself during the holidays.

So as it was 9 p.m. on New Years Eve night, I was sitting in front of my computer distracted knowing I needed to create new material for this coming week. But I was also distracted by wanting to watch the movie McFarland on television and zone out. Kevin Costner is my favorite actor. Anyways, so I tried to do both…unsuccessfully. Since it was New Year's Eve, fireworks were going off all night from 8 p.m. on as people were celebrating the coming of a new year. One of my dogs Rusty gets anxious when he hears fireworks, and he'll lay in the bathroom as he feels it's safer in there.

I felt this guilt inside me with him being alone in a dark bathroom, so I decided to take a break and just sit on the floor with him and comfort him. I could feel my mind wanting to scold me telling me that I had deadlines to meet. And I could feel myself saying I had more important things to do…which made me stop and really question what was important??? And even though it was only in my mind I found myself saying back to that thought… "that's a really crappy thing to be saying." I knew the podcast would be there anytime I wanted to come back to it…and right now this was a time to be with my good buddy Rusty comforting and letting him know it was ok.

The conversations that happen in our minds sometimes have us questioning, if we really are good people. But just because we think something, doesn't mean that's who we are. Our thoughts and emotions aren't in control of us…we just have to become aware of what we're saying and thinking and then begin asking what we really want. And in this moment, the thought of actually saying that my dog wasn't as important as my podcast was a wake-up call of what a stupid way I was focusing my thoughts and actions.

Here's the fine line where we get stuck at times—we confuse what we think…with who we are. What I said was… 'that was a stupid way of focusing.' I didn't say I was stupid or I was being stupid… I was focusing on the thing that wasn't who I wanted to be; I was focusing on the stress and chaos instead of the love and calm in my life I wanted to focus upon.

And so I took a deep breath, gave Rusty a big hug and patted him for about 30 minutes as we sat on the bathroom floor enjoying each other's company. As the fireworks died down a bit, I said to Rusty… "I think you're safe now buddy…" like he could understand me. I then came back to finish up Monday's podcast, and go to bed.

I needed to be aware to see the uncomfortable things I was saying, so I could find the comfort in how I wanted to think, how I wanted to act, and ultimately where I would keep my consistent focus. What you want in life, if it's important, will take effort. If you're willing to get uncomfortable, if you're willing to do what others won't, then you'll find the peace and comfort you've been seeking. Comfort doesn't happen in the easy; it happens by asking more of ourselves, by getting uncomfortable, and being real in what is truly important to us.

So are you getting uncomfortable in your life by being real…by becoming aware of what you're really saying…and then seeing if it's in line with who you really want to be? The greatest things in our lives are simple, but they're not easy. It takes a commitment to creating a continual space of being uncomfortable within our lives…in a healthy and balanced way.

Today's Personal Commitment:

What have you been avoiding that's important to you because you've been telling yourself is that the stress and chaos are more important to you. There'll come a time when you'll wish you acted differently and it will be too late. Will it will be the time when your relationship ended because you didn't schedule time in to let them know their importance to you, or the time when a loved one passed away and you never let them know how much you loved them, or will it be that point of no return in your life as you spent so many years chasing after things that were shiny instead of asking what really mattered to you?

Get out a sheet of paper, and ask yourself what things are important to you…that you haven't been paying attention to like you'd like to. This is not an exercise to make you feel guilty, but to awaken you to what matters to you. By me having Rusty in the bathroom scared, it woke me up to say, "what are you doing? Go be with your buddy and comfort him." The podcast will be there anytime you want to come back to it. And by doing what was really important to me, hanging with Rusty for a bit, it actually was the break I needed to be refreshed to come back with new ideas. Which reminds me that we are rewarded by doing the uncomfortable, by doing what truly matters to us…in one way or another.

Getting Uncomfortable Makes Me Comfortable

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Mindful Mondays-#357 January 1st The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I'm Stepping Out Of My Way Today

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Whether I'm working with a life coaching student, teaching a spin class, or training someone in the gym…I'm working to constantly remind them that the only limitation is themselves. The only obstacle standing in their way is in their control, and all they need to do is learn how to get out of their own way.

I don't tell people they can do the impossible, but what I do tell them is: when you change your mind about what you can do, then you'll begin seeing the impossible differently. For the impossible was only impossible until someone did; it was only impossible until someone decided to believe a little more in themselves, to believe a little more in humanity that it could be achieved, and decided to believe that there was something more within the pursuit of achieving that goal.

I think we don't achieve the goals we want because we look at them as means of proving worth. That if I get this or I achieve that, then it will prove I'm great, that I'm worthy of being loved, that I'm worthy of being respected, and that maybe this one great thing will make up for all my previous mistakes. And so we work to force, we push ourselves to the limit out of anger for not being good enough, or out of hate for what's not ours…instead of pursuing something out of love. And not just love for the goal at hand, but love for ourselves—the love in understanding that the goal will not make us worthy…we already are worthy…but now we're just working to realize it in the physical form.

But there's a disconnect in the physical and the spiritual…and if that word doesn't sit right with you…think of it just as the nonphysical. This is not an argument on what religion or idea is the most right. All I'm saying is that there's more to life than what we can see or touch. And we miss the mark in becoming the people we were intended to be by focusing more on the external. We go about our lives thinking the problems are outside of us, and that if only we could fix that thing outside of us…then our lives would be better.

But the problem isn't outside of you, it's inside of you…but hear me clearly when I say this, YOU are not the problem—your choice to see the problem as it is…is. Your choice to see yourself as stuck within the problem is the problem. And if your life were like that of an Indy Car race or NASCAR race or any other type of race you can think of, what if you were to see the problems in front of you not as stop signs but maybe as turns…or choices. The choice to take a pit stop and refuel and realign yourself…or the choice to see the track and make the turn when necessary.

Because in those races while the course is designed in a specific way…there still are three choices and decisions to make:

• The choice to off-road it—to go against yourself and the way of the goal.
• To stay on the track and turn when necessary to create an easier pathway towards your goal…to allow yourself to it and to allow it to come to you easier,
• The choice to take a break when needed to get yourself refreshed and realigned for the journey ahead.

We go about our lives doubting ourselves and our abilities…thinking that a goal just happens. That Lebron James was a superstar on day one; that Leonardo Da Vinci just picked up a brush, pencil, or clay and created a masterpiece without even working up to it. And so the story we tell ourselves about superstars or talented people, is that they are different from us. But we are so far from the truth when we say that. It's a lie that we've gotten ourselves comfortable in, so we won't have to get better at our gifts, that we won't have to work hard because gifted people were born that way. That type of thinking we believe…is our out, our ace in the hole of letting us off the hook in doing the work, as we step in our way and say things like, "I could never, it wasn't meant to be, or I'm not good enough or worthy enough to have that thing. And again, you couldn't be any further from the truth when you say things like that.

You aren't meant to be those people you look up to; you are meant to be the best YOU possible. You are meant to connect with your intuition and hear that true inner voice help guide you, to feel the wind of creation within your veins, and to live a life of allowing yourself to shine as you're meant to.

The main reason we fail in our attempts is we give up too easily and too early…we doubt ourselves saying it wasn't meant to be as we chase after goals or dreams that were never ours but more for the pursuit of being known…rather than going after the things mean something deeply to us.

To doubt is easy, to say why we can't…takes no work. But to listen to your intuition, to connect with your race track and feel the turns…not see them as obstacles…is the first part in getting out of your way and allowing the goals you want to come to you.

So stop fighting the unwinnable battle of spinning your wheels to nowhere by taking one of the easiest and hardest actions you could ever do simultaneously…stepping out of your way. Stop forcing yourself to the goal and see your fear as what it is—fear of failing, and the fear of not being good enough to obtain or keep what you go after. For the only failure in your life, is in never attempting to fail.

Today's Personal Commitment:People say it's a new year and a new you. But I say while it's a new year, be the old you. The authentic you, the talented and successful individual that you've forgotten you are as you focused more and more on the failures and the I can'ts in your life.

I'm not saying I want you to go seeking and relive your past. But what I am saying is I want you to live in the moment remembering what makes you great. So for the next month envision your life like a race track, and not to get to the goal as fast as possible, but to see a pathway you are destined for…to see that there are no obstacles only turns as you get of your own way.

So ask yourself what are the doubts that have held me back, and what are the doubts I've weighed myself down with? And after you do that, ask yourself what are the things you've given up on because of those doubts.

I'm not asking you to change the direction of your life; you might already be on your path. But maybe while you're on your path, you made it harder from your self-imposed doubts. Sometimes the hardest part of life isn't in doing the work towards a goal…but more in making a harder decision in getting out of our own way. So take a few deep breaths before making decisions this year, to give you more time to remember all that is sometimes needed is a slight adjustment of moving a little to the right or left.

I'm Stepping Out Of My Way Today

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays-#365 December 31 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Following Through Is My Favorite Tradition

Why do we wait for a new year to begin again? Why do we wait for a certain time to be perfect…to start? What's keeping you from going after what you want right now? No, seriously…take a moment to really think about the excuses you've come up with on why you can't start right now on your dreams.

I've seen statistics that say 80% of new years resolutions fail by February…and I can definitely attest to this since I work in a gym. It gets crazy busy in January, and with the passing of each month the crowd dwindles back to the same gang that's always in the gym, except maybe a few new people who have decided there was no other option…except for full commitment towards their goal.

So if you really think about it, new years resolutions are really only a 1 month resolution, if that even. New beginnings are exciting, but what's more exciting is following through with your plans. And that's probably why most of us fail in new endeavors, we focus only on the start…we get excited seeing the end result…never really seeing what it would take to commit to the plan.

And I get it, change can be hard. Our new habits will feel painful or tough, especially when we focus on what we don't like. When we do that we continually keep building up emotions that will incessantly tell us why this process sucks. Which keeps us in the dark about our lives and our goals thinking that what we go towards is too hard or that we weren't capable of doing it…when in fact, all it was…was our thoughts and dialogue we used towards the goal.

So let's say your goal is to write a book this year, or to lose a certain amount of weight by joining a gym and going on a diet, or getting more organized with your work area and your home. What would make you think you'd ever see a goal through if you constantly complained how much you hated it?

It seems like such an obvious statement, but still, we do it every time we work on the goal, and thus we create an idea in our subconscious that we really don't want this goal. That it's more trouble than it's worth, and so like a snowball rolling down a large mountain…every utterance of your displeasure with the goal…you make it harder for yourself. Now people will call me unrealistic and Pollyanna saying that I'm asking them to be happy about what they're doing all the time…and that's exactly what I'm doing. There's great pleasure in being challenged, there's much excitement in being pushed to the limit asking ourselves whether we can do it or not, and there's so much fulfillment in sticking with a goal because we've decided its importance was greater than not having it in our life.

One mistake that people make in trying to stick with goals is thinking it's about willpower. That I will…will my mind and body to do this thing I've set before myself no matter what. And that's one way to achieve things, but that's why we hate the goal—we don't look beyond it, we say that it's more about sticking to something and forget it's about seeing the opportunity in the difficulty…not being stuck in the difficulty.

I want to help pivot your thinking from willpower into being excited about the process, enjoying the work while you're doing it, and getting lost in the moment rather than focusing on it's not happening fast enough. Willpower is about forcing; but if you find the excitement in the goal, in being challenged, then it's not a task or a chore…it's a pleasurable part of life.

If you look at fitness social media moguls and what they post, they don't talk about how much they hate what they are doing, they talk about how they get up at 445 in the morning because while it may not always be enjoyable to get out of bed at that time…the pursuit of their goals excites them…and that's why they do get out of bed. Sure, in some sense it is willpower, but it's really about processing your pursuits differently.

In my life coaching practice, It's not that I teach people to be fake and dream only about happy things, but I teach them to pivot their dialogue with themselves and others, I teach them to think and act differently, and I ask them to see more of what they want rather than continually focusing on what they don't want.

We get more of what we focus upon, so when we focus on pain…we find more of it, when we focus on doing something because of fast results…we get the fast result of quitting because that's easier than sticking to something. This is the conundrum of life…your environment is NOT determined from outside of you…it's determined within you. You mold your environment by what you allow in your life. So who are the people you surround yourself with, what are the thoughts you surround yourself with, what are the words you constantly use, and what are the actions you perform day in and day out? In all of those things, they determine the environment within you…which will then sculpt and mold the environment around you.

So this year, I challenge you to not wait for a new year to start a goal that's important to you…if you want to begin them today at the beginning of the year, that's cool…but don't wait for things that are truly important to you. I want to challenge you to NOT be as excited about continual new beginnings…but to be more excited about new continuing's you've decided that matter to you. Following through is one of the most exciting endeavors you will partake in.

Today's Personal Commitment:

Instead of only writing down your new year's resolutions…write down what your follow through resolutions are. It's nice to write down goals, but the reason we don't achieve them has nothing to do with our ability to achieve them…it has to do with the habits we use in achieving them. Who do you have to become to make your goal a reality? What do you have to do consistently to make your goal a reality? So after you write down what you want to achieve this year, write down what you will have to do to act differently to help you follow through this time.

Willpower will only take you so far, but if you find a new way of looking at your goals, if you find ways to be more excited about the opportunity in the challenge, if you find better ways to speak, think, and act towards the goal…then you will see beyond the goal. You will understand it wasn't about achieving that one goal…it was about changing who you were…it was about instilling the habits that made you the person who always had that goal in their reach.

Think about it this way. We talk about pursuing a goal…but we're doing it backwards. If you listened to what I just said… I said we are pursuing a goal, we're chasing a goal that's elusive to the person we previously were. But if we wanted to make it easier on ourselves we would look at who we need to become to make this goal a natural part of who we are.

So instead of pursuing goals, what if you were to pursue a better you. I know that sounds like the same thing, but it's not. It's about becoming the habits regardless of the goal…and what you'll then find is that the goal will be pursuing you.

Following Through Is My Favorite Tradition

Thanks for listening. I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected] phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergistic Saturdays-#364  December 30 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Choose To Make Every Moment Great

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

Every time the new year gets closer, the noise gets louder about what a crappy year people had. They talk about how they can’t wait for this year to be over so that they can have a great next year. And the interesting thing is, I usually see the same people complaining about the same thing each year.

And I agree, for once, it would be nice for them to have a good year so they could stop bitching about it not being good. But that’s the funny thing, their year is already great. They just can’t see the beautiful moment in front of them by continually wishing for their pain to be over, or wishing for their troubles to be gone. Which in turn locks them in their self-imposed prison—never understanding that they had the chance in every moment to make their year amazing.

It’s like we become so caught up in seeing what’s bad that we can’t see what’s good. Take for example, a friend was complaining about how they got sick a week before their vacation…and they said, “great…what perfect timing to get sick.” And in my head, I was little confused because I thought you’d rather be sick before your vacation…than on it. Now maybe they were thinking about how they couldn’t have any sick days before their trip, or maybe that they didn’t want their sickness to last more than a week and bring it with them…but I’m pretty sure that’s it. Some people want to see what’s wrong instead of seeing what’s right.

It makes me think of going to barns and seeing horses with those blinders over their eyes that don’t allow the horse to see behind or to the side of them, so they don’t get spooked. And we as people have our blinders on…except they aren’t helping us, we’re focusing on what’s wrong…we’re focusing on what annoys us or scares us…instead of seeing the great moments in front of us.

And the interesting thing about my friend who talked about being sick, you saw all their pictures on what a great time they were having on the trip…and never once thought about their sickness again. Which shows me why we live in a state of perpetual frozenness. We complain, but we never learn from our complaining. And thus we repeat the pattern over and over again.

A year isn’t bad, a day isn’t bad, a life isn’t bad…they are events, and we can choose how we want to experience them. And maybe I didn’t get the memo that everyone else seems to have gotten about life being fair and perfect…but it seems like people lose focus on what the message of our lives are…that we create the good times or we create the bad times. Yes, unfortunate things will happen, people die, people leave us, we get sick, we get hurt… and we can choose to make our home within misery….always wondering why our years suck, or we can get up and know we are the masters of our fates, that we are in control of making our years great, and that there’s beauty in every moment…even the harder times in our lives.

The quote above by Viktor Frankl is the perfect example of a better mindset. Viktor was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp in World War II for being Jewish. His mother and brother died in the Auschwitz concentration camp, and his wife died in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp. What Frankl had observed during his imprisonment was that the people who survived, were the people who had hope—the ones who believed they would get out, that they would see their family again, or whatever hope they needed to focus on…to keep them going.

However, the people he saw who had no hope, the prisoners who couldn’t imagine a future, didn’t last long. And through all the atrocities Viktor saw in his time in the concentration camps, he was able find meaning in the midst of extreme suffering. He goes on to say in his book Man’s Search For Meaning, “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” And if you haven’t read his book, I highly recommend it.

What I’m getting at, is we’ve become weak individuals by forgetting our whys. We’ve become crippled by waiting for a better moment to come to us, as we’ve forgotten that the best moments are in front of us right now.

We’ve forgotten that the only one who can change a bad moment is ourselves…not a new year, or a new day, or someone else. And while I’m saying the great times are already in the moment in front of you, it still takes work to notice them. Your life is like a bucket that’s being filled, and if you don’t fill it with something you want, you’ll find something else will take its place. We’ve forgotten our whys and thus the negatives have overrun our lives as if they were in control of our lives

Everything you speak, think, and do…will either weaken you…or strengthen you. So, are you going to be weak and complain about a year being bad…or are you going to be strong and see the beauty in every moment? Are you going to blame others for your position in life, or are you going to be strong and find continual hope in your life? Are you going to miss the moments in front of you letting your bucket be filled with negatives, or are you going to be the person who stops looking for their situation to change and instead begins changing yourself?

The only difference between something good or bad…in a day, a year, or an event…is our fortitude to accept the negative for what it is—a chance to rise above and find meaning even through our suffering. It’s the chance to see that the moment wasn’t determining my experience, I was.

The hardest times in my life, the times that ripped my heart from my chest, were the times that were asking me to open my eyes and find more hope and beauty in the moment. It may sound petty of me to tell people to stop their whining…but the weak are left whining for a better day, while the dead are still hoping for one more day…even a bad day…because in every moment there’s good or bad…it’s just whether we decide to change ourselves…or let the situation change us. And when we know our why…we can bear any ‘how.’

Today’s Personal Commitment:What are your whys? What’s your why for your job, your relationships, for your next 10 years, for the next year, and your why for the day right now? I see most of us operating on autopilot. We get up and do our daily routine not thinking about anything because we have done it for so long there is no need to analyze anything…it’s all the same mostly. But we become robots acting this way; we get stuck in the mode of operations instead of seeing the beauty in the moment or choice.

So for the next month, every day before you set out to start your day…write down the whys of your day and your life. Get yourself acquainted with your purposes again, so you can become more mindful of what you’re trying to accomplish in your life.

When we remember our whys, we divert our attention from the negatives…or probably more accurately…those negatives never become powerful enough to overtake our directed mindset.

I Choose To Make Every Moment Great

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together, Personal Development Life Coach- Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by: - Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. - I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide