Jessica Patay is the founder and CEO of We Are Brave Together, a nonprofit serving over 4,200 caregiving mothers across 50 states and 30 countries. She's a caregiving mum to her 22-year-old son Ryan who lives with Prader-Willi syndrome and Autism, and she's spent over two decades navigating extreme caregiving.

In this conversation, Jessica gets brutally honest about the isolation, the burnout, the control we desperately grasp for when everything feels chaotic, and the fundamental shift that changed everything: from "Why me?" to "What now?"

We talk about the moment Ryan was diagnosed, the Lisa phone call that inspired We Are Brave Together, why "God only gives you what you can handle" is actually harmful, how her marriage survived extreme caregiving, the impact on siblings, and why you're not to blame for your burnout.

Jessica's new book Suddenly Brave Together (30 heartfelt letters from experienced caregiving moms to new caregiving moms) releases May 1st. If you're isolated, exhausted, or wondering how you'll make it through, this conversation is for you.

Connect with Jessica:

Interested in becoming a Circle Connection Leader in the US?  Connect with We Are Brave Together Program Assistant, Alicia: [email protected]

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In this heartfelt episode, Hannah welcomes Alison Archbold, an esteemed Associate Professor, Genetic Counsellor and Researcher to explore how genetic testing and counseling are revolutionizing healthcare and empowering individuals with life-changing information.

Alison discusses the critical gaps she has identified in access to genetic testing in Australia, especially around reproductive genetics and screening for conditions like cystic fibrosis, fragile X syndrome, and spinal muscular atrophy. 

This topic is more than just work for Alison, it is person.  When she found herself on the patient side of prenatal diagnosis - twice - she experienced firsthand how disorienting that space can be — the uncertainty, the emotional intensity, and the full impact of the experience when you are living it. That deepened my understanding of how vulnerable that period is, and how much support people need beyond just the medical facts.  

She shares one truth that isn’t talked about enough - the sheer emotional and cognitive load that families carry every single day.

It’s not just about supporting a child — it’s holding the emotional weight for everyone: their child, themselves, their partner, their broader family. Constantly checking in, anticipating needs, making sure people are okay, and holding things together, often without much space to process their own experience.

Alison shares her journey from witnessing the devastation of undiagnosed genetic conditions to pioneering programs that make screening more equitable and accessible, including the impactful advocacy that led to Medicare funding for carrier screening in Australia. 

This shift has truly democratized genetic testing, enabling over 120,000 people annually to learn about their genetic risks and make informed choices.

We break down the emotional and social cadence of navigating complex genetic results, especially during pregnancy, and Alison reveals how early access to genetic information transforms the emotional landscape for families, shifting from reactive diagnosis to proactive planning. 

She discusses her innovative GenoCare service and how she is actively building and testing new models that integrate genetic counselling with psychosocial support, grounded in real-world clinical need. This means not only observing gaps in care — Alison is working to redesign how care is delivered so that it is more accessible, coordinated, and responsive to what patients actually need.

Her compassionate insights help demystify remote and accessible genetic counseling, addressing practical steps for those seeking guidance to navigate the psychosocial impacts of genetic testing on mental health, mood, and future planning.

Why should you listen now? Because advancing genetic science means more families are facing difficult choices and emotions. Alison emphasizes that supporting mental health and emotional wellbeing in the face of genetic diagnoses isn’t just a nicety -it’s a necessity. She highlights how genetic counseling combines medical expertise with empathetic care, helping families process complex information, reduce anxiety, and foster resilience during vulnerable times. 

Whether you're pregnant, considering testing, or supporting loved ones, understanding these shifts empowers you to advocate for better, more compassionate genetic services.

This episode is perfect for pregnant women, new parents, healthcare providers, and anyone interested in the intersection of genetics, mental health, and social equity. 

Alison’s dedication to making genetic care accessible and supportive demonstrates how we can shape a future where science uplifts families rather than overwhelms them. 

We are sharing practical tools, inspiring stories, and the emerging innovations that are making genetic counseling an essential pillar of wellbeing and reproductive health.

CONNECT WITH ALISON: 

Associate Professor Alison “Ali” Archibald is a genetic counsellor, clinician-researcher, and Co-Founder of GenoCare, a new service developing and delivering forward-thinking models of care in genomics. She is a recognised leader in reproductive genomics, with a focus on scaling equitable access to genetic testing. Ali’s work spans research, clinical practice, and service design, with a strong emphasis on innovation in care delivery and improving the experience of genetic testing.

www.genocare.com.au

Linked In 

WAIT... WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU 

Discover what fills your cup when you're running on empty, take our What's Your One Thing quiz in under 2 minutes and get your personalized result, or download our Monthly Planner designed specifically for mothers raising children with disabilities who need to plan around the unpredictable, one month at a time, purpose over pressure.

👉 Take the quiz: https://www.strongherside.com/one-thing-quiz

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Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

disability mums, mental health for mothers, cognitive load, mindset for caregivers, raising children with disabilities, autism mums, Down syndrome parents, chronic stress, nervous system regulation, survival mode, mental load, maternal burnout, special needs parenting, disability advocacy, mindset tools, cognitive offloading, ADHD parenting, cerebral palsy parents, rare disease parents, fragile X syndrome, invisible labour

Sophie Cobden is a life coach from London who shares her personal journey with candor and warmth. With a strong background in overcoming personal challenges such as severe bullying during her school years, Sophie transitioned into a career of guiding others through life's complexities. She is also a twin, mother to neurodivergent children, and the co-host of the podcast "We're Not Your Typical." Her open sharing about raising children with disabilities has connected her with a wide audience online, particularly through her engaging presence on Instagram and TikTok.

CONNECT WITH SOPHIE COBDEN

Sophie is a life coach, mum, and real voice for mothers navigating life with children who have autism. Follow her for brutally honest conversations about morning battles, invisible loads, and the reality behind the highlight reel.

📱 Instagram: @sophiecobden_

CONNECT WITH STRONGHER SIDE

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Discover what fills your cup when you're running on empty, take our What's Your One Thing quiz in under 2 minutes and get your personalized result, or download our Monthly Planner designed specifically for mothers raising children with disabilities who need to plan around the unpredictable, one month at a time, purpose over pressure.

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Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

disability mums, mental health for mothers, cognitive load, mindset for caregivers, raising children with disabilities, autism mums, Down syndrome parents, chronic stress, nervous system regulation, survival mode, mental load, maternal burnout, special needs parenting, disability advocacy, mindset tools, cognitive offloading, ADHD parenting, cerebral palsy parents, rare disease parents, fragile X syndrome, invisible labor

If you've ever felt like traditional mindset advice doesn't quite fit your reality as a mum raising a child with disabilities, this episode is for you.

Hannah dives into why the typical mindset conversations happening across social media and personal development books often leave disability mums feeling like they're failing, because the truth is most of that advice is built around the assumption that people have flexibility, that you can step away from stressful situations, that you can restructure your environment or take time out to reset.

But when you're raising a child with additional needs, responsibility rarely pauses, you cannot simply switch off the mental load of therapies, appointments, schooling, behaviors, advocacy, and the constant thinking ahead that comes with supporting your child in a world that's not always built for them.

This episode unpacks what's really happening in your brain as a disability mum, why you're carrying what psychologists call chronic cognitive load, how your nervous system has adapted to sustained vigilance, and why survival mode is not failure but actually an adaptive response to circumstances that require endurance.

What you'll learn in this episode:

If you're operating in survival mode right now, if you're carrying the invisible labor of caregiving and advocacy and the constant mental load of thinking ahead, this episode will meet you exactly where you are and give you permission to stop judging yourself for feeling overwhelmed.

Hannah reminds us that strength does not always look loud, sometimes strength looks like showing up again tomorrow, and that what we're doing for our children matters deeply.

This is a solo episode with Hannah while Vanessa takes the week off to care for her beautiful children, raw, real, and full of the validation every disability mum needs to hear.

CONNECT WITH STRONGHER SIDE

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCES

Discover what fills your cup when you're running on empty, take our What's Your One Thing quiz in under 2 minutes and get your personalized result, or download our Monthly Planner designed specifically for mothers raising children with disabilities who need to plan around the unpredictable, one month at a time, purpose over pressure.

👉 Take the quiz: 

CONNECT WITH US

📱 Instagram: @strongherside

P.S: Don't forget to:

✔️ Hit follow wherever you're listening to this podcast

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Hey mama, welcome to a very special episode where we're looking back at the last 6 months since launching this podcast to an audience of two, Hannah and myself, and now to you lovely humans who've found us along the way.

One theme kept coming up in every conversation we had with our guests, The One Thing, the single activity that when you do it everything else in your life becomes more manageable, not your number 10 thing but your number one thing, and when you honor it and protect it you feel like you're giving yourself room and permission to breathe out.

In this episode we're sharing the best moments from our conversations with Graeme Cowan who's one of the founders of R U OK Australia, Kate Ivey who built a thriving fitness business while raising and homeschooling a daughter with autism, Moriah who's navigating life with her beautiful son Noah who has MEF2C, and my own story of staying calm through my son's cancer diagnosis and leg amputation.

You'll hear: Graeme Cowan on finding your One Thing, from dancing to ABBA in your headphones to organizing a closet to a coffee shop visit alone, Kate Ivey breaking down why exercise is medicine not vanity, today in a few weeks and long term, Moriah giving you permission to take guilt free breaks and be present instead of constantly anticipating what's next, and me sharing my two journal system that got me through the darkest days.

By the end of this episode you're going to know how to work out what YOUR One Thing is or at least have the tools to start exploring, and we've created a free online quiz that takes less than 2 minutes to help you discover it, link in the show notes.

Listen if you're running on empty, stretched too thin, doing everything for everyone else and can't remember the last time you did something just for you, this episode is your permission slip.

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF:

You're running on empty and can't remember the last time you did something just for you, you feel guilty taking time away from your child, you're exhausted overwhelmed and stretched too thin, you know you should prioritize self care but have no idea where to start, you're in survival mode and need a practical framework that actually works, you're raising a child with autism ADHD Down syndrome Fragile X MEF2C or any additional needs.

Your One Thing doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be expensive, it doesn't have to take hours, it just has to be right for YOU.

It could be 15 minutes in your car before you go inside, actually that's where I'm recording today because I have two children unwell at home, it's my only quiet place, it could be organizing one drawer or your whole wardrobe, it could be a walk around the block or training for a half marathon, it could be putting your headphones on and dancing to one song, ABBA if you're Graeme Cowan, or trying a meditation app.

The point isn't what it is, the point is that you have one and you do it for yourself on the regular.

Because lovely when you do your One Thing other parts of your day can smooth over, you walk a little lighter, you can exhale, you show up as a better mum a better partner a better version of yourself because you've filled your own cup first.

And I know what you're thinking, I don't have time for this, I'm already stretched too thin, I'm already doing everything for everyone else, and I know that you are, but that's exactly why you needed to hear this today, because you can't pour from an empty cup, nobody wins when you pour from empty.

TAKE THE QUIZ:

Just for fun here's what we want you to do, we've created a free online quiz that takes less than 2 minutes to complete, it's going to walk you through discovering what YOUR One Thing is, it's going to give you ideas for actually making it happen, and I hope it's going to be really helpful for you

👉 Take the quiz: https://www.strongherside.com/one-thing-quiz

Your One Thing is waiting for you mama, you just have to give yourself permission to claim it, I know that's hard, it's hard for me too, Hannah is much much better at protecting her time in this area so I've learned a lot from her about this.

CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTS:

Graeme Cowan | Co-Founder of R U OK Australia |  Mental Health Advocate

Kate Ivey | Founder | Kate Ivey Fitness

Website: https://kateiveyfitness.com/ 

Moriah Zwick | MEF2C Advocate | Nurse & Mother of Noah

Connect with StrongHER Side

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCES

Take the What's Your One Thing quiz to discover what fills your cup in under 2 minutes, or download our Monthly Planner designed specifically for mothers raising children with disabilities who need to plan around the unpredictable.

👉 Take the quiz: https://www.strongherside.com/one-thing-quiz

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📧 Partnerships & Media: [email protected]

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Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Kate Ivey is the founder of Kate Ivey Fitness a thriving online fitness platform operating across New Zealand and Australia. She runs a rural farm in the South Island of New Zealand with her husband and three teenagers, including her 15 year old daughter Olivia who has autism.

Behind the successful business is a journey most people never see.

Kate has navigated the heartbreak of watching her daughter struggle in mainstream school, made the impossible decision to homeschool, and spent a year where Olivia couldn't even go out in public. Through it all, Kate has learned to redefine what success looks like, let go of society's expectations, and build a life centered entirely around her daughter's happiness.

Kate's story will change the way you view your priorities, your grief, and what it means to create a good life when nothing looks the way you expected it

In this episode we talk about:

This episode is for you if:

Whether you're navigating autism, ADHD, intellectual disability, or any condition that makes your child's life look different from the norm, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.

Follow Kate Ivey on Instagram: @kateiveyfitness

We discovered this planning system from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongherside/

P.S: Don't forget to:

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro: Welcome Kate Ivey

01:41 The Diagnosis: When Olivia Started Regressing and How Kate Knew Something Was Wrong

09:32 The Grief and Guilt: Why It Feels Like Grief Even Though Your Child Is Still Here

16:04 When School Stopped Working: The Breaking Point and the Decision to Homeschool

24:16 The Holding Pattern: A Year of Isolation When Olivia Couldn't Go Out in Public

30:43 Finding Help: Why Therapy and Mindset Coaching Changed Everything

37:09 Exercise as Medicine: Why Movement Is Essential for Mental Health and Your Future Self

40:56 Hi Olivia Online: Building Community Through Art and Creating Purpose for Her Daughter

We're celebrating Vanessa turning 40 by doing something a little different — getting brutally honest about our biggest failures as parents, business owners, and friends.

Vanessa's just back from her weekend away in New Zealand kicking up her heels with her sisters (and yes, there's a hilarious photo of Andrew delivering her a Valentine's Day gin and tonic in sunglasses as we started recording - that you need to see).

To celebrate, we're doing the viral "Museum of Failures" trend, peeling back the curtain on the moments we'd rather forget but have learned the most from. From forgetting to pick kids up from school to missing a broken collarbone for 12 hours, from burnout and tax debt to one-sided friendships that took years to walk away from — nothing is off limits.

This episode is equal parts hilarious and deeply practical. Because if our failures can help another mum avoid the same mistakes, then they were worth something.

What You'll Learn:

Key Takeaways:

Whether you're raising kids with additional needs, starting a business, or just trying to figure out which friendships are worth holding onto — this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn:

Key Takeaways:

Whether you're raising kids with additional needs, starting a business, or just trying to figure out which friendships are worth holding onto — this episode is for you.

This is episode 16 — and we're so grateful you're here with us.

📅 DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCE:

We discovered this planning system from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

CONNECT WITH US:

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongherside/

P.S: Don't forget to:

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

You know what's wild? I woke up one day with what I thought was a spider bite on my face. Turns out it was shingles.

When the doctor asked if I'd been stressed lately, I laughed. My son was scheduled for his quarterly post-cancer scan, he'd been feeling unwell with the same symptoms that led to his diagnosis two years ago, and my cortisol was through the roof. The doctor's advice? "You're going to have to learn to not worry about these scans."

Yeah, thanks for that genius insight.

But here's the thing - he was right. Not in the way he said it, but in the wake-up call it gave me.

Because every emotion you feel manifests itself somewhere in your physical body.

And if you're a mum raising a child with a disability, medical complexities, autism, or any additional needs, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

That tightness in your chest that never fully goes away. The shallow breathing. The shoulders that live permanently up by your ears.

In this episode, I'm getting real about living with a heightened nervous system and what I call "scanxiety" - that constant low-lying anxiety that comes with quarterly scans, therapy appointments, and just the daily reality of keeping a medically complex child alive and thriving. I'm sharing my personal journey through my mum's cancer relapse and death, my son's cancer diagnosis and leg amputation, and how my body literally stores that trauma and fear.

But this isn't just me venting (though there's some of that too). I'm breaking down five actual strategies that are helping me take back some control:

→ The One-Minute Interoception Practice from neuroscientist Andrew Huberman - how tuning into your body's signals can interrupt the stress spiral → How to hack your vagus nerve to literally tell your brain "we're safe now" even when everything feels chaotic → Lewis Howes' powerful reframe on fear vs faith and why our anxiety is often about past pain, not future possibilities → The Fear Sit Down technique and Joy Conditioner exercise for managing worst-case scenario thinking → Why what you're eating and scrolling is either feeding your anxiety or fighting it - insights from gastroenterologist Dr. Will Bulsiewicz

I'm referencing the research from "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Andrew Huberman's work on the brain-body connection, Lewis Howes' "The Greatness Mindset," and Dr. Will Bulsiewicz's gut health research. But I'm translating it all into language that makes sense for exhausted mamas who don't have time for jargon.

If you're tired of being told to "just relax" or "try yoga" or "practice self-care" when you're living in survival mode, this episode is for you. If you've ever felt like your body is betraying you because it won't stop being on high alert, you're not alone. And if you're raising a child who needs extra everything while trying not to completely fall apart yourself, I see you.

Join our community - sign up to receive our weekly newsletter where we connect with mums who are raising children with disabilities and share exclusive resources, what we are advocating for on your behalf, and so much more. Because you shouldn't have to do this alone.

More ways to connect with us: 

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We stole this planning system idea from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

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We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

In this episode, Collett Smart, Host of Raising Teens, psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, brings her deep expertise in healthy relationships to a powerful conversation with Hannah Gair.

Hannah shares her journey of raising her son with Fragile X syndrome, offering an honest and deeply human insight into motherhood, resilience, identity, and strength shaped through unexpected circumstances.

This conversation is rich with real-life reflections and meaningful takeaways, leaving listeners with perspective, compassion, and a renewed appreciation for the quiet strength carried by so many families.

An episode that will stay with you long after it ends.

This episode is from the Raising Teens Podcast with Collett Smart, a Hope Media podcast. 

Host Collett Smart is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker and internationally published author, who offers advice on healthy relationships.

Learn more about Collett’s work here: https://hope1032.com.au/raising-teens/ 

📅 DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCE BELOW

We discovered this planning system idea from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

👉https://www.strongherside.com/yearplanner 

CONNECT WITH US:

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongherside/

🎙️ Watch the full episode on YouTube 

📧 Partnerships & Media: [email protected]

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✔️ Comment below and let us know what resonated with you

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

What happens when two women strip back the polished version and share the raw truth? Vanessa opens up about falling pregnant at 18, facing judgment, and raising her daughter solo while building an incredible life. Hannah shares her journey through childhood sexual abuse, foster caring before becoming a mum, and finding her calling in empowering women. This isn't your typical getting-to-know-you chat—it's two best mates diving deep into teenage motherhood, trauma recovery, navigating young adult kids, and what real strength actually looks like. You'll hear honest conversations about rejection, resilience, and reclaiming identity beyond motherhood.