We finish the first season of Lost, with all three parts of the finale, "Exodus." J. cackles at the reveal of the Black Rock, and Robby decides whether it ends up making any sense (spoiler: no). Then, the big decision: will Robby give the okay to keep watching the series into season two?

Before all of that, we continue what appears to be our current obsession, discussing the frustratingly almost-good Elementary. It's still not good, but it's getting closer. Baby steps, people!

Next week: we talk DS9, with "Rules of Acquisition" (Ferengi!), "Necessary Evil" (flashbacks!), and "Second Sight" (...?).

We're back to DS9 this week, with "Invasive Procedures," "Cardassians," and "Melora." Before that, a lengthy conversation about more contemporary shows -- a debate on the relative merits of Elementary, a discussion on why Last Resort was canceled (spoiler: because no one watched it, including the people who liked it), and J. tries to explain the bugfuck insanity of American Horror Story: Asylum (spoiler: he fails).

And with this episode, J. is finally caught up on the backlog of episodes that occurred over the past few weeks. It's all fresh content from here on out.

This week, of course, it's LOST!

0:00:00 - Teaser. Robby needs to turn down the recording volume on his microphone.

0:01:40 - Open. Still no word on Community's return. Or, as the creators of The Mob Doctor would call it, Wacky Meta College Friends.

0:07:24 - "...In Translation." Ah: so that's what Jin's deal is.

0:31:11 - "Numbers." Hurley is not crazy. The crazy French island cat lady said so!

0:47:53 - "Deus Ex Machina." Locke, however, is probably bonkers. This episode puts the momentum to the finale in high gear.

1:19:42 - Coming attractions on the Podcastulacra.

1:22:58 - Elementary, we have to talk. Seriously.

1:38:25 - Close. You know it's a good joke when you have to explain it.

Next time, we open up the second season of Deep Space Nine with the show's first attempt at a multi-episode arc: we're watching "The Homecoming," "The Circle" and "The Siege," in which a right-wing uprising on Bajor is a real bummer for Jake Sisko's love life. See you then!

The first season of DS9 comes to a close.

0:00:00 - No music! No time!

0:06:32 - "The Forsaken." Lwaxana Troi. For some reason.

0:29:29 - "Dramatis Personae." It's a clock! And it's nuts!

0:41:37 - "Duet." J.'s second favorite episode. Some heavy stuff going on in here. But were they trying too hard?

1:05:23 - "In the Hands of the Prophets." The season finale brings us Vedek Winn, a new Big Bad, and some oddly contemporary social issues.

1:24:40 - The season in review.

We're still playing catchup here at the Podcastulacra, but it's another lengthy episode. This time, it's bears, bullets and boars on LOST! We're talking about "Special," "Homecoming," and "Outlaws," and one of those is J.'s least favorite episode of the whole series. Turns out, it's not even all that bad.

Afterwards, we continue our close monitoring of the situation over on Elementary, as the second episode is more or less a repeat of the first. Will it get better? We sure hope so.

Elementary springboards us into a conversation about formulaic television, and why it's not necessarily a bad thing to have a formula and stick with it. We talk about House, Quantum Leap, Psych, and then (inevitably) drift off into non-formulaic sitcoms, like The Drew Carey Show or the last season of Til Death.

Next week, we wrap up the first season of Deep Space Nine, with "The Forsaken," "Dramatis Personae," "Duet," and "In the Hands of the Prophets."

Yes. Yes, the podcast is late. Very late. A whole week late, in fact. We apologize. Well, J. apologizes; Robby has nothing to apologize for. There was a death in J.'s family last week, which pushed this one all the way back to today.

But in any event, get ready, because this episode is ENORMOUS. It's easily the longest episode we've done, clocking in at over two hours. That makes up for the lateness, right? (Right?)

First, we dispense with The X-Files, jumping out into the third season to tackle two of the very finest episodes the show produced: "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" and "Jose Chung's From Outer Space." Both were written by Darin Morgan, both feature stellar guest performances, and both are wonderful. (Even Robby thinks so!)

Afterwards, J. tries to explain the entire X-Files mythology in one sitting. It...well, let's just say the tale doesn't hang together all that well when you spell it out. (Bees! Mayans! And how did J. forget to talk about the time the Consortium decided to dispose of a few incriminating corpses by putting them inside a federal building in Dallas and then blowing the building the fuck up?)

Then, we get to the new shows of the fall season. Well, one new show, really: Elementary, the CBS Sherlock Holmes procedural. We were dreading this, and our reactions are...not what we expected. And Robby actually goes back to the canon to explain why CBS's choices are actually somewhat inspired.

Again, sorry it was late. But another episode is coming in just a few days. No, really, it's already been recorded. We're talking about LOST! Get ready, by watching "Special," "Homecoming," and "Outlaws."

Also, a link we talk about in the open: The League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons 1996.

We're back to Deep Space Nine, and then no more Star Trek, at least for a few weeks. We're coming down the home stretch of the first season, with "The Storyteller," "Progress" and "If Wishes Were Horses."

0:00:00 - Teaser. Seriously, we talk about Star Trek a lot.

0:00:49 - Open. Star Trek novels, for the most part, are quite awful.

0:06:09 - "The Storyteller," in which O'Brien gets over an attempted stabbing really fast.

0:27:50 - "Progress," in which DS9 does its own twist on an old Next Gen episode.

0:43:31 - "If Wishes Were Horses," which is just fine until the "hahahaha j/k" ending.

0:57:06 - Our plans for finishing DS9's first season.

1:01:43 - Next week on the podcast: The X-Files, perhaps for the final time.

1:05:43 - Our least favorite episodes of our favorite show. Robby talks about The Dick Van Dyke Show and "Sally Is a Girl," while...

1:18:48 - J. skips Lost on a technicality and instead talks about DS9's Ferengi transvestite farce "Profit and Lace." This leads to yet more random Star Trek discussion, before they finally get themselves under control for...

1:31:48 - Close. We've written stuff. It's pretty good.

Ronald D. Moore: not a fuck given since 1990.

It's the final word on Voyager, as we get the last of this sickness out of our systems.

0:00:00 - Teaser. Kanye West probably has an assistant listen to podcasts for him.

0:01:43 - Open. J. is not a lawyer, remember.

0:10:55 - "Unity."

0:20:15 - "Mortal Coil."

0:28:41 - "Shattered."

0:39:00 - "Drone," "The Raven" and Seven of Nine.

0:47:28 - Interlude: no one likes Andy Dick.

0:49:05 - "Equinox," and how Battlestar Galactica did this same story better.

1:00:09 - J. finds an old interview Ronald D. Moore gave soon after leaving Voyager, and the guys discuss it and pile on "Equinox" some more.

1:12:25 - "Endgame." Bad finale? Or worst finale?

1:23:34 - With the benefit of hindsight, how would we have ended Voyager?

1:31:28 - Close.

Next week, it's more Star Trek (!), as we go back to Deep Space Nine. Watch "The Storyteller," "Progress" and "If Wishes Were Horses" with us. And tell your friends about this show.

Well, there were ALL KINDS of technical difficulties getting this one to you. Almost like the podcast didn't want to devote itself to Voyager. Has the Podcastulacra become self-aware?

In any event, we're not letting the show tell us what to do: here is PART ONE (!) of our two-part Voyager special. The format's a lot looser than normal on this, so no timestamps (I will tell you we don't even get to the theme music until around the 8:00 mark, so get comfy). In addition to talking about Voyager in broad terms, we also get specific on a few episodes, in varying degrees of detail:

"Caretaker"

"State of Flux"

"Eye of the Needle"

"Heroes and Demons"

"The 37s"

"Death Wish" and "The Q and the Grey"

"Tuvix"

"Year of Hell, Parts 1 and 2"

"Threshold"

But it's not over! Next week, we wrap things up by talking about some truly good episodes (no, really!) and the awful, awful finale.