The Tenacious Mama: Confessions of An Adoptive Mother

Confession: I used to think that the teenage years were something I had to suffer through before Lane grew up to be an adult.  But I just found a book that changed all that.  I now understand the massive changes the teen brain is undergoing and I look forward to helping Lane harness the power of his powerful new brain so he can thrive in his adolescence.

Included in this episode:

*my Mother's Day surprise!

*Overview of the book Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J Siegel

*two common symptoms questionnaires administered for mental health services

*funny Lane stories involving our favorite movie Nacho Libre

SHOW NOTES:

Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J Siegel

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Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: I have to let go of what I thought high school would be like for Lane and accept the fact that he needs more specialized and individualized attention that simply is not available in a traditional high school.  Luckily, there are lots of options out there for kids like mine.  The trick is figuring out which one will be the best for Lane.

SHOWNOTES:

What We Carry: A Memoir By Maya Shanbhag Lang

The Sixteenth of June By Maya Shanbhag Lang

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Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: My best friend of over 30 years ghosted me two years ago.  Believe it or not, she shut me out of her life not once, not twice, but a total of three times over the course of our friendship.

Also included:

*how and when we met

*how we stayed close, despite the 1000s of miles between us

*our roadtrip to attend the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta

*a helpful article that helped me understand

*details about the first two times she dumped me

*my reflection on why I kept letting her back in, but this time I won't

SHOW NOTES:

My BFF Ghosted Me When I Needed Her Most By Aileen Weintraub

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Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: I am constantly reminded that the more I learn, the less I know.  This week that lesson came in the form of videos on vestibular and proprioceptive systems.   What I learned in these videos was super informative and I wish I had learned about it when Lane was young.  I also reflect on the the joys and frustrations of my motherhood journey.  

Included in this episode:

*a sweet read aloud from Lane's adoption day

*Lane reading books to our dog

*what about the 99 out of 100 kids without a mother like me?

*videos on vestibular and proprioceptive systems

*what I wish more teachers knew about kids who need to move in order to pay attention and learn

SHOW NOTES:

I Love You So… By Marianne Richmond

Brain Highways: The Vestibular System

Brain Highways: The Proprioceptive System

Dear Teacher: Heartfelt Advice For Teachers From Students

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Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: Before I was introduced to TBRI, I once had an epic meltdown, which included throwing all of my shoes on the floor of my bedroom in a rage.  I threw every single pair of my shoes as hard as I could onto the hardwood floor while screaming at the top of my lungs.  Not my finest moment, but I did apologize to Lane about it afterwards and we had a powerful heart-to-heart.

Included in this episode:

*why I believe anyone who works with vulnerable youth or in marginalized communities would benefit from TBRI training

*what I learned from the very first TBRI podcast about the brain, making a mental model shift from willful disobedience to fear-based behaviors, the biological effects of trauma on a person later in life, and a powerful parent story

*the TBRI mantra

*the story of my epic meltdown when Lane was in 8th grade

*how my current self feels empathy and compassion for my previous self when reflecting on the embarrassing incident

*trauma-informed classroom strategies and supports- also good for all kids!

SHOWNOTES:

A Front Porch Conversation with Daren Jones and Troy McPeak on the TBRI Podcast

A Front Porch Conversation with Daren Jones and Troy McPeak Part 2

Trauma, The Brain, and TBRI (podcast episode 1)

Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many Of the Leading Causes of Deaths in Adults

About the CDC-Kaiser ACES Study

Creating Trauma-Informed Classrooms article

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development website

Talk to me! Click here to provide feedback

Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: I wish I had found TBRI Trust Based Relational Interventions when Lane was in Kindergarten instead of 8th grade.  In my humble opinion, it is THE SINGLE MOST POWERFUL intervention program foster and adoptive families need to be trained in. 

Included in this episode:

*more on my high-functioning depression

*powerful activities from my IOP two years ago

*being authentic and vulnerable with friends and family

*grieving the motherhood I thought I would have

*how I found TBRI

*our positive experience with our in-home TBRI practitioner

*an overview of the TBRI principles and strategies 

*a few nuggets from my notes from a parent TBRI training

*two TBRI podcast episodes I found particularly helpful

*the IDEAL acronym to remind caregivers how to address behaviors

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Learning

The TBRI Podcast

TBRI Podcast Episode: TBRI Responsive Strategies Pt 1 9/4/24

TBRI Podcast Episode: TBRI Responsive Strategies Pt 2 (Teens) 9/11/24

Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel J Siegel, and Mary Hartzell

Talk to me! Click here to provide feedback

Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: Reliving Lane’s Kindergarten year has been much more difficult than I imagined it would be.  Luckily, it didn’t seem to have any lasting impact on Lane.  In fact, he doesn’t remember any of it! 

Included in this episode:

*another funny story from my childhood

*blog entry written on 8/23/15: Lane is making great gains

*disastrous meeting with his Kinder teacher at the end of the school year

*hired a SpEd advocate to get Lane qualified for an IEP

*last blog entry I ever wrote on 1/5/16: Taking better care of myself in 2016

Talk to me! Click here to provide feedback

Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: Rereading my blog entries about Lane’s adoption day makes me a bit sad.  I was so optimistic and naive.  I never would have imagined ending up where we are now.  I share two blog entries written right before and immediately after Lane's adoption day in addition to more horror stories of Lane's Kindergarten teacher.  

Included in this episode:

*blog entry written on 7/11/12: Tomorrow we stand before a judge

*mandated reporter

*the spring parent/teacher conference

*equity= providing each child what s/he needs to succeed

*Lane's loss of recess privileges for 2 weeks and its impact on his behavior in the afternoons

*blog entry written on 7/21/12: Final adoption decree

Talk to me! Click here to provide feedback

Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: I used to be proud of my career in elementary education…until I had a child who didn’t fit the mold and only then realized how the kids on the ends of the bell curve were not thriving.  And in many cases, kids like mine are made to feel like a bad kid or stupid because they do not get the attention and supports they need to experience success.  I take a trip down memory lane, detailing how Kindergarten was the start of my son's difficulties in the school setting.  To be continued in the next episode.  I also share a few more of our family pranks and the power of acts of kindness, which includes the fun acronym BABILOO!

Included in this episode:

*my best prank caught on video!

*ADHD support group for parents

*Lane's Kindergarten parent orientation night

*assessment

*first parent/teacher conference

*called out in a school wide assembly

*Lane dancing with his "girlfriend" at the Halloween party

*Lane's MANY Halloween costumes

Talk to me! Click here to provide feedback

Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...

Confession: I used to be my own worst enemy with negative self-talk that I wasn’t even aware I was engaging in.  Now that I know, I’m working to becoming my own best friend with self-compassion, self-love, and positive self-talk.  I'll share how gratitude is my superpower (when I practice it consistently), my new favorite gratitude journal, and a trick to turn your inner critic into your compassionate witness.  

Included in this episode:

*Ray of F'ing Sunshine post-it notes

*gratitude is a super power

*the 6 Minute Diary

*time capsule: a letter to my future self to be read in one year

*self-talk: a bully? or your best friend?

*the ABCs of self-love

*Lane wants to have kids so he can be the dad he never had

SHOW NOTES:

Ray of F*cking Sunshine Sticky Notes

The 6 Minute Diary

futureme.org

Mel Robbins on the Jefferson Fisher podcast

The ABCs of Self Love: A Simple Guide to Loving  Yourself, Reclaiming Your Worth, and Changing Your Life By Meldoy Godfred

Talk to me! Click here to provide feedback

Thanks for listening, Beloveds.  Please take care of yourselves; if you don’t do it, who will?   Keep advocating for your child.  And, most importantly, stay tenacious!

PODCAST RECOMMENDATION:

The TBRI Podcast

QUICK VIDEOS TO WATCH:

Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting Strategies and Solutions by Sarah Naish

Resources on suicide prevention:

Contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

- Call or text 988
- Chat at 988lifeline.org 

Connect with a trained crisis counselor...