June 6, 1944. Robert Capa is wading through the freezing water of Omaha Beach. He captures the most important images of the 20th century, and technically, they are a disaster. They are blurry. They are grainy. They are imperfect. And that is exactly why they matter.

In this episode, Patrick explores the physics of light, the "hostage negotiation" of the exposure triangle, and why we are so terrified of grain. We look at how the market has colonized our vision, leading us to trade atmosphere for information and "safe" images for honest ones.

Most importantly, Patrick confesses to "art directing" his own daughter's childhood—prioritizing perfect light over real memories—and asks if it's possible to trade competence back for presence.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The story of the "Magnificent Eleven" and Robert Capa’s D-Day photos.
• The Physics of Light: Why the exposure triangle is a hostage situation.
• Why ISO is like the volume knob on cheap speakers.
• The "Cultural Clean": Why Instagram and modern cinema feel so flat.
• A personal confession: Killing the moment to save the exposure.
• Why "Denoise" is the enemy of the soul.

Support the Show: If you enjoy these ramblings, or if this episode made you feel slightly less guilty about your grainy photos, consider fueling the next one. You can buy me a coffee (or let's be honest, a beer) to help keep the mics on and the existential spirals coming.

• Fuel the Mess: terriblephotographer.com/support

Links & Resources:

• Website: terriblephotographer.com
• Email the Show: [email protected] — Send questions, thoughts, or hate mail. I read everything.

Credits:

• Episode Photo: Hulki Okan Tabak
• Music: Blue Dot Sessions
• Sound Effects: Epidemic Sound

In 1863, the Paris Salon rejected Édouard Manet's The Luncheon on the Grass for being too messy, too flat, too "unfinished." Today, it's one of the most important paintings in art history. Meanwhile, the "perfect" paintings that won the medals? Nobody remembers them.

In this episode, we're deconstructing the biggest question photographers face: What makes a photo "good"? How do we measure it? Who decides? And why do we keep building portfolios that are technically perfect but emotionally dead?

This is the first episode in a new mid-week series called "Basics, Deconstructed" we take the elementary concepts of photography and tear them down until we find the bone.

In This Episode:

• Why technical perfection is the enemy of art
• The difference between "High Notes" (sharpness, perfect skin tones) and "Bass Notes" (the blur, the shadow, the grit)
• What happened when an art buyer tore apart my "perfect" portfolio
• How to stop shooting out of fear and start shooting out of soul
• The hardest lesson: being shrewd enough to interrupt the performance

Key Quote:

"I don't hire photographers to be commercial. I hire technicians to be sharp. I hire photographers to make me feel something."

Contact & Support:

📧 Email: [email protected]
(Questions, thoughts, hate mail—I respond to everything.)

🎵 Music: epidemicsound.com

☕ Support the show: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer

📬 Newsletter (Pub Notes): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb

In this episode, I talk about the question that has been following me around like a stray dog with abandonment issues:

“What am I doing wrong?”

A late-night Zoom call.

A missed phone call that might have cost me a job.

Fabric mocking me at 2 AM.

Postponing Christmas.

Pretending patience is a virtue when really it’s just a financial liability.

This one is not a framework or a lesson.

It is a confession.

A pressure valve.

A look at the part of the creative journey nobody posts about because it is messy and embarrassing and makes you question whether you even belong in the room.

We get into:

• Saying yes to work you should have said no to
• Anxiety disguised as professionalism
• The career panic nobody warns you about
• The gap between what we preach and what we actually do
• What our kids see when we are barely holding it together
• The tension between craft, performance, and being human

If you have ever wondered whether you are behind, off-track, or quietly failing your way through your creative life, this episode is for you.

Music Provided by:

https://www.epidemicsound.com

Support the Show

If the podcast means something to you, or if it helps you feel a little less alone in this creative circus, you can support the show here:

https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support

Your support keeps the lights on, the episodes coming, and the midnight fabric-styling breakdowns to a minimum. Thank you for being part of this.

This is the episode I’ve been avoiding.

Not because I don’t have an opinion about AI — but because I have too many feelings about it. Gratitude. Fear. Anger. Wonder. All tangled together.

AI has become my external brain — a tool that helps me function, organize, even parent. And at the same time, it’s the thing that might end my career.

In this episode, I talk honestly about what Adobe’s new AI tools mean for photographers, artists, and the humans behind the craft. About the moment when “photo editing” turns into “people editing.” And about what we lose when images no longer require someone to be there — to see, to choose, to feel.

Because when everything becomes generated, the rarest thing left might just be the real.

This isn’t a tech breakdown. It’s a gut check.

In This Episode:

• The paradox of AI as both accessibility and threat
• Adobe’s new AI tools and what they mean for photographers
• The difference between CGI in film and AI in photography
• Consent, ethics, and the human line in image manipulation
• The fear of becoming irrelevant — and the deeper truth underneath
• Why the practice of photography still matters more than the product
• How to reclaim your craft in the age of automation

Featured Voices:

A few members of The Terrible Community share how AI makes them feel — not what they think about it.

Light Leak:

Go make something where the practice is the point.

Shoot something you’ll never post.

Feel the weight of the camera in your hand — that’s what real still feels like.

Because that’s the thing they can’t generate.

That’s the thing they can’t take from you.

Listen If You’ve Ever Thought:

• “AI is helping me — and that scares me.”
• “What’s the point of creating when machines can do it faster?”
• “I’m grateful for this tech… and I hate that I’m grateful.”
• “I miss when photography still felt like something.”

Credits:

Written & Narrated by: Patrick Fore

Produced by: The Terrible Photographer

Community Voicemails: Members of The Terrible List

Music & Sound Design: Blue Dot Sessions
Robots by Flight of the Concords (1-minute)

Connect:

• 🖤 terriblephotographer.com
• 🎙️ Leave a voicemail for future episodes: terriblephotographer.com/voicemail
• 📰 Join the newsletter: The Terrible List
• 📸 Instagram: @theterriblephotographer

Episode 34 | November 2025

I was in my garage last Tuesday, shooting beef tallow. Yes, beef tallow—jarred cow fat with a marketing department. And while I'm adjusting highlights on solidified animal fat for the fourth time, I'm thinking: I used to shoot for Rolling Stone. What happened?

Then my friend Candice texted. An illustrator in St. Louis. I asked how business was going.

"Everything is a garbage fire out there."

And that's when I realized: we're both drowning. But for completely opposite reasons.

She doesn't have enough work. I have plenty of work—just the wrong work. And neither of us could shake the feeling that something bigger was happening.

So I dug into the data. Economic reports, central bank surveys, and consumer debt studies. And what I found explains why so many freelancers feel like they're either sprinting or sinking right now.

The economy didn't just slow down. It split in half.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

The Three-Restaurant Economy

• Why Restaurant Two (the middle market) closed and nobody told you
• Where the money actually went (and who's still spending)
• Why some creatives are drowning in commodity work while others have empty calendars

The Economic Data (Made Human)

• The US service sector flatlined in September 2025 (ISM hit 50.0)
• 37% of European businesses postponed investment plans
• 84% of people with credit card debt are cutting non-essentials
• The top 20% now account for two-thirds of all consumption

What to Actually Do Tomorrow

• How to audit your clients into three categories (A, B, C)
• Three questions to ask yourself this week
• The 80/20 split that keeps you sane
• Where to find recession-resistant work (even if it's unglamorous)

Why Craft Still Matters

• What my daughter Lucy's drawings taught me about showing up
• My brother Charlie's legacy (and why it has nothing to do with accolades)
• Why being strategic doesn't mean becoming cynical

Timestamps:

00:00 - Cold Open: Beef Tallow in My Garage
08:45 - The Text Message That Changed Everything
12:30 - The Three-Restaurant Economy (The Metaphor)
18:20 - The Economic Data: What Actually Happened
26:15 - Why We're Both Drowning
31:40 - Where the Money Actually Is (Three Specific Markets)
38:50 - What to Actually Do Tomorrow (Tactical Actions)
48:20 - The Productivity Lie (And the Stoic Response)
53:10 - The Shadow Question (What Are You Actually Ashamed Of?)
58:30 - Why This Still Matters (Lucy, Charlie, and Showing Up)
01:06:45 - Outro

Key Takeaways:

1. The middle market collapsed. The clients with mid-tier budgets who valued creative work—many of them can't access credit or have cut discretionary spending. That's not a personal failure. That's structural economics.
2. You're either at Restaurant One or Restaurant Three. Commodity work (fast and cheap) or luxury/corporate work (selective and high-end). Restaurant Two is closed.
3. Three sectors are still hiring aggressively: IT (35%), Finance/Real Estate (32%), Healthcare/Life Sciences (28%). Target them.
4. The 80/20 rule saves your sanity: 80% of your energy goes to work that pays bills. 20% goes to work that feeds your soul. Stop trying to make every project be both.
5. Craft matters, even when the client doesn't. Showing up with integrity to unsexy work isn't settling. It's professionalism. And it's what keeps you in the game.

Resources Mentioned:

Economic Data Sources:

• ISM Services Index (September 2025)
• European Central Bank Credit Standards Survey (Q3 2025)
• Consumer Debt Studies (2025)

Strategic Frameworks:

• Marcus Aurelius on control (Meditations)
• The 80/20 split for creative sustainability
• Three-category client audit (A/B/C framework)

What's Next:

If this episode resonated with you, text a fellow creative and ask them: "How are you? Really?" Because the loneliest part of this moment isn't the struggle—it's the belief that you're the only one struggling.

And if you want to talk more about navigating the bifurcated creative economy, hit me up on Instagram @patrickfore or email me at [email protected]

The garbage fire is real. But so are we.

About The Terrible Photographer Podcast:

This is a show for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters while also paying rent. We talk about identity, craft, failure, and the absurdity of the creative industry—with radical honesty and zero bullshit.

If you're tired of toxic positivity and gear reviews, you're in the right place.

More Episodes: http://terriblephotographer.com
Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming Dec 2025)

Credits:

Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick Fore
Music: Epidemic Sound
Recorded in: San Diego, California

Support the show: If this episode helped you, the best thing you can do is share it with another creative who needs to hear it. Word of mouth keeps this show alive.

Have you ever shared something you were excited about only to have it met with "yeah, maybe" or "how are you going to monetize that?"

In this episode, I sit down with a story that's been eating at me for weeks — a conversation at a coffee shop that revealed something uncomfortable about regret, haunted creatives, and the ghosts of unmade work.

This isn't about toxic positivity or hustle culture. It's about understanding the difference between someone who's tired and someone who's haunted. Between love and regret. Between the people who will protect your ideas and the ones who will kill them — often without realizing it.

And if I'm honest, it's about recognizing when we become those people ourselves.

In This Episode

The Coffee Shop Moment A conversation with a photographer friend that starts with excitement and ends with something closer to mourning.

The Difference Between Tired and Haunted Why some people poke holes in your ideas — and it has nothing to do with you.

Three Faces of Haunting

• The perfectionist paralyzed by an impossible vision
• The silent avoider who pretends not to see your success
• The one with all the resources who just... doesn't

The Idea Graveyard My own confession: the photo essay about my hometown that will never exist, and what it taught me about shelf life.

Love vs. Regret How my wife Jaimi saved me from launching a business I didn't actually want — and how to tell the difference between questions that protect you and questions that undermine you.

The Physics of Regret How other people's ghosts create friction that converts your creative momentum into heat, defensiveness, and eventual paralysis.

Protecting Your Butterflies Practical strategies for guarding your ideas and building a "Go" list instead of a "Know" list.

Key Takeaways

• Ideas have a life of their own — and a shelf life. They don't wait for you to be ready.
• "Yeah, maybe" is the sound of a butterfly dying.
• Tired people say, "I'm exhausted, but that sounds amazing." Haunted people poke holes.
• The dream can become the cage — perfectionism is just another form of paralysis.
• Friction is cumulative: each skeptical question converts your creative energy into defensive heat.
• Most haunted people aren't villains. They're good people carrying ghosts.
• The only thing worse than starting something and failing is not starting something at all.

Quotable Moments

"He wasn't trying to kill my idea. He was mourning his own."

"When your idea gets that big, that expensive, that unreachable — it becomes a shield. The dream has become the cage."

"Ideas have a shelf life. They start fresh, urgent, necessary. Leave them too long, they spoil."

"Haunted people ask questions to protect themselves. People who love you ask questions to protect you."

"Friction converts kinetic energy into heat. Your momentum gets converted into defensiveness. Your creative energy burns off as anxiety."

"The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin

"You can't hitch your momentum to parked cars."

The Light Leak Assignment

Make two lists:

List One: The Haunted People who respond to your excitement with skepticism, apathy, or "yeah, maybe." They don't get access to your butterflies.

List Two: The Builders The ones who finish, ship, say "fuck yes," and offer help instead of obstacles. These are your people.

Stop pitching to List One. Guard your butterflies. Feed them only to people who still believe they're real.

Concepts Explored:

• Friction (physics)
• Ideas as living things with shelf lives
• Haunted vs. tired creatives
• The "Go" list vs. "Know" list

Quote: "The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin

Connect With Patrick

Website: patrickfore.com

Instagram: @patrickfore

Podcast: The Terrible Photographer

Book: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming soon)

Credits

Host & Producer: Patrick Fore

Episode Photography: Amy Humphries Find Amy on Instagram: @amyjoyhumphries

Music Licensed Through:

• Epidemic Sound
• Blue Dot Sessions

Support The Show

If this episode resonated with you, here's how you can help:

• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps other people find the show
• Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it
• Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes
• Send me a DM on Instagram and tell me which list you're on

A Note From Patrick

This episode has been living in my head for weeks. The coffee shop conversation happened months ago, but it took me this long to understand what it was really about.

I hope this gives you permission to protect your ideas. To say "fuck yes" to butterflies when they land on your shoulder. And to stop asking permission from people who stopped saying yes a long time ago.

Thanks for being here.

Until next Tuesday — stay curious, stay courageous, and yeah, stay terrible.

— Patrick

The Terrible Photographer is a podcast for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters. We don't do hustle culture. We don't do toxic positivity. We do honest conversations about creativity, identity, and finding your voice.

You ever buy a twenty-two-dollar airport sandwich and convinced yourself it was worth it?

That’s what this week’s episode is about — except the sandwich is a photography competition.

In Gold Star, Patrick unpacks his love-hate relationship with the American Photographic Artists’ Untitled competition — and what it reveals about the creative world’s obsession with approval. From spreadsheets of judges to award-show absurdities like the Oscars and Grammys, this episode digs into why artists still crave validation from systems they don’t even believe in.

It’s funny, frustrated, and a little too honest — a meditation on why we keep chasing the gold stars that will never love us back.

Featuring a clip from Jim Carrey’s Golden Globes speech, a story about Patrick’s first Houston Addy Award, and a Light Leak that challenges you to make something that doesn’t need anyone’s permission to exist.

You’ll hear about:

• Why creative competitions feel like overpriced validation
• The psychology of approval and the decay of validation
• What Jim Carrey can teach us about artistic hunger
• How to stop mistaking opportunity for illusion
• Why the real reward is the right to keep doing the work

Mentioned in this episode:

• American Photographic Artists (APA Untitled Competition)
• Jim Carrey’s 2016 Golden Globes speech
• The Addy Awards (American Advertising Federation)
• Rick Rubin, Diane Arbus, Van Gogh, Tom Sachs

Light Leak: The Paradox of the Work

What if you stopped making work for judges, algorithms, and invisible audiences — and started making the thing that’s too honest to explain?

Why creatives stay stuck, even when the door’s wide open.

We all want freedom. Creative freedom, emotional freedom, professional freedom. But here’s the thing nobody tells you:

You can be free… and still live like you’re caged.

In this episode, I break down the three invisible cages every creative person ends up pacing:

• The Industry Cage – tribes, gear cults, status games, and the performance of “real” photographer-ness
• The Creative Cage – safety disguised as style, repetition disguised as voice, consistency as comfort
• The Personal Cage – the scariest one of all: the refusal to put yourself in the work

It starts with a pacing lioness in San Diego, makes a detour through childhood Masonic mystery, and ends in a gallery in LA with a man named Jesse and a story I still can’t shake.

If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own success, your style, your niche, or your silence… this one’s for you.

Light Leak Assignment:

Choose your cage.

Take one honest step outside it.

Before the week ends.

No excuses.

Listen if you’ve ever said:

• “I feel like I’m just doing the same thing over and over.”
• “I’m scared to change because I finally found something that works.”
• “I don’t know how to put myself in my work.”

Support the Show:

This show is 100% listener-supported, which means I’m not selling presets, funnel hacks, or “ten ways to make six figures with your camera.”

But if the episode made you feel something — if it helped you name the cage — I’d love your support.

👉 terriblephotographer.com/support

Three amazing humans have already joined. Be the fourth. Let’s get weird and honest together.

Episode Topics:

• Cult psychology and the photo industry
• The seduction of gear tribes and online identity
• Why consistency might be killing your creativity
• What we’re really afraid of when we avoid vulnerability
• The lioness who still walks her old cage
• What Jesse taught me in a room full of polite creatives

🔗 Other Mentions:

• Episode 28: The Tyranny of Okay – Why Most Creative Work is Just work (I actually listed this as Episode 27 in the episode, but it's Episode 28)
• Terror, Love, and Brainwashing by Alexandra Stein
• The Boxcar Children (yes, really)
• The real cost of not evolving

Stay curious. Stay courageous. And yeah… stay terrible.

A milestone. And maybe the most uncomfortable episode I've made so far.

A few weeks ago, I sent an email to thirty photographers I know. I asked them one question: What's your dirty little secret? The thing you'd never admit publicly. The thought that lives in the back of your brain at 3 AM.

I told them it would be anonymous. I just wanted the truth.

And I got a lot of responses.

This episode is about those secrets. The ones we carry alone. The ones that make us feel like frauds, or failures, or like we've made a massive mistake.

Some of these might be mine. I'm not telling you which ones.

But they're all real. And if you've thought any of them, you're not alone.

The Eight Secrets

1. The Gatekeeping - "I resent [X] photographers and think I'm better than them."
2. The Copycat - "I don't know how to make anything original."
3. The Performance - "I'm not as busy as I make it look."
4. The House of Cards - "I'm one accident away from losing everything."
5. The Golden Handcuffs - "I would walk away if I could afford it."
6. The Minimum Effort - "I'm just trying to get the work out the door."
7. The Burnout - "I don't care about photography anymore."
8. The Long Game - "I'm terrified I won't be able to retire."

Mentioned in This Episode

Leslie's Podcast: Niche to Meet You
A great show about finding your creative lane. Check it out.

Support The Show

This show costs money to make—hosting fees, software, time. If you're getting value from it and want to help keep it going, you can support the show here:

terriblephotographer.com/support

The show's free. It's staying free. But if you want to chip in, I appreciate it.

Stay Connected

📸 Instagram: @terriblephotographer
📧 Newsletter: Subscribe to PubNotes
🌐 Website: terriblephotographer.com

Credits

Music:

• Licensed through Blue Dot Sessions
• "Secret" by The Pierces

Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick Fore

Your Turn

Write down one secret. One thing you've never said out loud. Not for Instagram. Not for anyone else. Just for you.

Take it out of the dark and look at it in the light.

You don't have to solve it. You just have to stop pretending it's not there.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another creative who needs to hear it. And if you want to support the show, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more than you know.

Have you ever had a day where you told yourself you were “busy”… but couldn’t actually remember what you did? I know I have. Hours lost to scrolling, inboxes, half-finished tasks — and somehow at the end of it, I’m exhausted but nothing’s really done.

In this episode of The Terrible Photographer Podcast, I go after the two liars in my head who keep me trapped in that fake middle ground:

• Hustle Harry — the voice that shames you into guilt if you’re not grinding nonstop.
• Lazy Laura — the voice that convinces you procrastination counts as rest.

Neither one delivers real work. Neither one delivers real rest. And both are lying to us.

Instead, I want to talk about presence — the kind my Border Collie, Loki, embodies every time he drops into that crouch and locks onto a tennis ball like it owes him money. Which leads to…

⏱️ The Light Leak (36:40): The Loki Method — a simple, one-task-at-a-time rebellion against hustle culture and procrastination. Full attention, sacred focus, and real rest are scheduled like it actually matters.

This episode is about rediscovering focus, dignity in the ordinary, and finding a way to work present instead of just working harder.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between fake productivity and fake rest, this one’s for you.

Music provided by Blue Dot Sessions