The Therapeutic Poet

I wanted to have a conversation about grief with someone whose resilience through their own grief has helped to inspire us to feel more deeply, in all the feelings that grief brings up, and to know that that is ok. I think I have the perfect person! Joining me on The Therapeutic Poet podcast to talk about grief is Clover Stroud. 

Clover’s first book, The Wild Other, was shortlisted for The Wainwright Prize. Her critically acclaimed second book, My Wild & Sleepless Nights: A Mother's Story was rated one of the 'best books of the year, 2020' by the Observer and the Telegraph and the Sunday Times.

We talk about grief, something that Clover is very familiar with. Her mum was brain damaged in a horse accident when Clover was 16 and her mum died 22 years later. Clover has also lost her dear sister Nell to breast cancer. We look grief in the face in this episode and I hope that it gives you some encouragement to allow yourself to grieve in the way you need to, or to help support someone else who may be grieving right now. Clover is a generous conversationalist and I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed speaking to her.

In this episode we spoke about the many faces of grief, not just when someone has died but when there is a physical or psychological absence as in the case of ambiguous loss. We talked about how grief is not linear and can raise up or subside unexpectedly. We also spoke about the grief of motherhood - of the constant letting go that motherhood requires.

In this podcast I want to really normalise grief as one of our human tricky things. 

In 2022 Clover has another book coming out called ‘The Red of my Blood: A Death and Life Story’ about her sister Nell. 

You can buy it here https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-red-of-my-blood/clover-stroud/9780857527738

Reviews of the book so far:

Show notes:

The poem that I recite is called ‘The Unbroken’  by Rashai Réa. You can find out more about them here: https://www.rashani.com/about/rashani-rea-bio.

Clover references Elisabeth Kübler Ross and the stages of dying. You can find out more about that here:

Click here to go to my Substack page.

Click here to buy my book

Click here to buy my a coffee and show your support

Listener support: I love making The Therapeutic Poet podcast, but it does cost time and money. If you have enjoyed it, been informed by it or found it helpful then I would greatly appreciate your financial support. You can do this by:

Taking a paid subscription on my Substack - a weekly newsletter helping people have 'Permission to feel'. You'll receive tips on how to navigate our human tricky things, recorded poems and other goodies.

Buying my book ‘Stop the world I want to get off’

Or buy me a coffee 🤗.

The effect that weak social connections can have on physical health is equivalent to the risk of smoking 15 cigarettes per day!

(Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience 2010).

This podcast is a different format to the others. The guest this week is...you! Loneliness can be such a taboo subject, but not here. I invite you to get familiar with your loneliness through a meditation and the suggestion of some writing exercises.

Show notes:

The poem I reference is 'how to be alone' by Pádraig Ó'Tuama.
Books I reference:
'Together' by Vivek H Murthy
Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton

Articles:
Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience 2010: https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation by RS Weiss

Information on G. Rizzolatti and mirror neurons: https://www.dialoghisulluomo.it/en/rizzolatti-sinigaglia/are-we-social-beings-a-dialogue-between-neuroscience-and-philosophy

Click here to go to my Substack page.

Click here to buy my book

Click here to buy my a coffee and show your support

Listener support: I love making The Therapeutic Poet podcast, but it does cost time and money. If you have enjoyed it, been informed by it or found it helpful then I would greatly appreciate your financial support. You can do this by:

Taking a paid subscription on my Substack - a weekly newsletter helping people have 'Permission to feel'. You'll receive tips on how to navigate our human tricky things, recorded poems and other goodies.

Buying my book ‘Stop the world I want to get off’

Or buy me a coffee 🤗.

The effect that weak social connections can have on physical health is equivalent to the risk of smoking 15 cigarettes per day!

(Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience 2010).

This podcast is a different format to the others. The guest this week is...you! Loneliness can be such a taboo subject, but not here. I invite you to get familiar with your loneliness through a meditation and the suggestion of some writing exercises.

Show notes:

The poem I reference is 'how to be alone' by Pádraig Ó'Tuama.
Books I reference:
'Together' by Vivek H Murthy
Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton

Articles:
Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience 2010: https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation by RS Weiss

Information on G. Rizzolatti and mirror neurons: https://www.dialoghisulluomo.it/en/rizzolatti-sinigaglia/are-we-social-beings-a-dialogue-between-neuroscience-and-philosophy

Judy Apps is a professional voice and communication coach and has spent many years unravelling the secrets of how great leaders inspire others, and now teaches these skills to people from all walks of life – from executives on the board of major international corporations to media people, politicians, and individuals just wanting to find the best of themselves. She is the author of several books and in 2019 did a Ted Talk on 'How your voice touches others: The True Meaning of what you say.'

Findn out more about Judy at:
www.judyapps.co.uk

Watch Judy's Ted Talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hW89Ytljic

Click here to go to my Substack page.

Click here to buy my book

Click here to buy my a coffee and show your support

Listener support: I love making The Therapeutic Poet podcast, but it does cost time and money. If you have enjoyed it, been informed by it or found it helpful then I would greatly appreciate your financial support. You can do this by:

Taking a paid subscription on my Substack - a weekly newsletter helping people have 'Permission to feel'. You'll receive tips on how to navigate our human tricky things, recorded poems and other goodies.

Buying my book ‘Stop the world I want to get off’

Or buy me a coffee 🤗.

Judy Apps is a professional voice and communication coach and has spent many years unravelling the secrets of how great leaders inspire others, and now teaches these skills to people from all walks of life – from executives on the board of major international corporations to media people, politicians, and individuals just wanting to find the best of themselves. She is the author of several books and in 2019 did a Ted Talk on 'How your voice touches others: The True Meaning of what you say.'

Findn out more about Judy at:
www.judyapps.co.uk

Watch Judy's Ted Talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hW89Ytljic

This is a meaty episode!

I speak to clinical psychologist Anne Darcy (bio below) who works in a personality disorder unit. We talk about what is problematic about a mental health diagnosis; labelling people with ‘disorders’. 

Anne has been using an alternative approach called The Power Threat Meaning Framework. 

A group of senior psychologists (Lucy Johnstone, Mary Boyle, John Cromby, David Harper, Peter Kinderman, David Pilgrim and John Read) and high profile service user campaigners (Jacqui Dillon and Eleanor Longden) spent five years developing the Power Threat Meaning Framework as an alternative to more traditional models based on psychiatric diagnosis.

Anne leads us through how this works so that instead of asking ‘what is wrong with you’ we start from a place of ‘what has happened to you and how has power operated and affected you in your life and how did you respond.’

We talk about the cultural influence of ‘disorders’; that ‘disorders’ are responses to stress and that all stress is culture-bound. 

We challenge the biological approach  of ‘mental health’ (that depression is hereditary and mental illness caused by chemical imbalances in the brain), discuss how the diagnosis of schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder are very often given to highly oppressed or marginalised individuals in the community.

We look at trauma, and how using the word ‘adversity’ may be more useful.

This is truly a podcast which will help to rehumanise our human experience.

Jargon Buster:
DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association - the handbook used to diagnose mental health disorders
ICD is the International Classification of Diseases - the global standard for diagnostic health information.

Show notes:

For more information on The Power Threat Meaning Framework and resources:
https://www.bps.org.uk/power-threat-meaning-framework

To buy the book (which informed much of this discussion):
https://www.pccs-books.co.uk/products/a-straight-talking-introduction-to-the-power-threat-meaning-framework-an-alternative-to-psychiatric-diagnosis


A recent article by Dr Lucy Johnstone, co author of the framework:
https://iai.tv/articles/beyond-the-mental-health-paradigm-the-power-threat-meaning-framework-auid-1803?_auid=2020

Click here to go to my Substack page.

Click here to buy my book

Click here to buy my a coffee and show your support

Listener support: I love making The Therapeutic Poet podcast, but it does cost time and money. If you have enjoyed it, been informed by it or found it helpful then I would greatly appreciate your financial support. You can do this by:

Taking a paid subscription on my Substack - a weekly newsletter helping people have 'Permission to feel'. You'll receive tips on how to navigate our human tricky things, recorded poems and other goodies.

Buying my book ‘Stop the world I want to get off’

Or buy me a coffee 🤗.

This is a meaty episode!

I speak to clinical psychologist Anne Darcy (bio below) who works in a personality disorder unit. We talk about what is problematic about a mental health diagnosis; labelling people with ‘disorders’. 

Anne has been using an alternative approach called The Power Threat Meaning Framework. 

A group of senior psychologists (Lucy Johnstone, Mary Boyle, John Cromby, David Harper, Peter Kinderman, David Pilgrim and John Read) and high profile service user campaigners (Jacqui Dillon and Eleanor Longden) spent five years developing the Power Threat Meaning Framework as an alternative to more traditional models based on psychiatric diagnosis.

Anne leads us through how this works so that instead of asking ‘what is wrong with you’ we start from a place of ‘what has happened to you and how has power operated and affected you in your life and how did you respond.’

We talk about the cultural influence of ‘disorders’; that ‘disorders’ are responses to stress and that all stress is culture-bound. 

We challenge the biological approach  of ‘mental health’ (that depression is hereditary and mental illness caused by chemical imbalances in the brain), discuss how the diagnosis of schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder are very often given to highly oppressed or marginalised individuals in the community.

We look at trauma, and how using the word ‘adversity’ may be more useful.

This is truly a podcast which will help to rehumanise our human experience.

Jargon Buster:
DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association - the handbook used to diagnose mental health disorders
ICD is the International Classification of Diseases - the global standard for diagnostic health information.

Show notes:

For more information on The Power Threat Meaning Framework and resources:
https://www.bps.org.uk/power-threat-meaning-framework

To buy the book (which informed much of this discussion):
https://www.pccs-books.co.uk/products/a-straight-talking-introduction-to-the-power-threat-meaning-framework-an-alternative-to-psychiatric-diagnosis


A recent article by Dr Lucy Johnstone, co author of the framework:
https://iai.tv/articles/beyond-the-mental-health-paradigm-the-power-threat-meaning-framework-auid-1803?_auid=2020

Jude is the definition of a thriver. Having been in recovery for substance abuse and eating disorders they then realised that part of their 'dis-ease' was about their gender identity. 

This is an important conversation that will leave you rethinking the way in which we view 'mental health' and gender identity. 

This podcast is about recognising that we all have our 'human tricky things', but the key is that, underneath it all, we are all human and each unique self is beautiful, inspirational and has something to offer the world. 

I'm so delighted to be able to help Jude share their story and de-'other' our humanness. 

You can find out more about them:
Instagram @becomingjude
www.becomingjude.com

Click here to go to my Substack page.

Click here to buy my book

Click here to buy my a coffee and show your support

Listener support: I love making The Therapeutic Poet podcast, but it does cost time and money. If you have enjoyed it, been informed by it or found it helpful then I would greatly appreciate your financial support. You can do this by:

Taking a paid subscription on my Substack - a weekly newsletter helping people have 'Permission to feel'. You'll receive tips on how to navigate our human tricky things, recorded poems and other goodies.

Buying my book ‘Stop the world I want to get off’

Or buy me a coffee 🤗.

Jude is the definition of a thriver. Having been in recovery for substance abuse and eating disorders they then realised that part of their 'dis-ease' was about their gender identity. 

This is an important conversation that will leave you rethinking the way in which we view 'mental health' and gender identity. 

This podcast is about recognising that we all have our 'human tricky things', but the key is that, underneath it all, we are all human and each unique self is beautiful, inspirational and has something to offer the world. 

I'm so delighted to be able to help Jude share their story and de-'other' our humanness. 

You can find out more about them:
Instagram @becomingjude
www.becomingjude.com

Learning to love our horrible rotten selves as humans and as parents.

Dr. Brad Reedy is co-founder of Evoke Therapy Programs and author to two books: The Journey of the Heroic Parent and The audacity to be you: learning to love our horrible rotten selves.' 

Evoke Therapy Programs provide innovative treatment solutions that foster lasting change utilizing Wilderness Therapy, Intensives and Adventure Trips for adolescents, young adults and families. 

Imagine losing your temper with your kid, writing a poem about it and then picking it apart with an expert in child and family therapy. Well, that's what I did in this podcast.

Starting with my poem ‘Screaming like a Banshee’, which is a poem about the trials of parenting, we talked about the benefits of Wilderness Therapy - how it provides a unique  and impactful therapeutic experience. 

We both shared our experiences of not only being parents, but also being our horrible rotten selves, of being overwhelmed and feeling out of control. Brad shared his widsom on how to deal with our mistakes, the importance of saying sorry, and how healing our histories helps us to be more present in any relationship. 

I’m grateful to Brad for the way he shares his personal experiences in relationships, not just his experience as a therapist. 

Being in a therapeutic relationship is not about being given answers, but about creating a safe and brave space so that we can discover the answers that are already within us.

This conversation is full of Brad's wisdom so get your notebook ready!

www.bradreedy.com
www.evoketherapy.com

Books mentioned:

The Journey of the Heroic Parent and The audacity to be you: learning to love our horrible rotten selves.' by Dr. Brad Reedy
The drama of the gifted child by Alice Miller

Click here to go to my Substack page.

Click here to buy my book

Click here to buy my a coffee and show your support

Listener support: I love making The Therapeutic Poet podcast, but it does cost time and money. If you have enjoyed it, been informed by it or found it helpful then I would greatly appreciate your financial support. You can do this by:

Taking a paid subscription on my Substack - a weekly newsletter helping people have 'Permission to feel'. You'll receive tips on how to navigate our human tricky things, recorded poems and other goodies.

Buying my book ‘Stop the world I want to get off’

Or buy me a coffee 🤗.