I’m always looking for the life lessons, no matter what I am doing.  If things go well, what’s the lesson?  If things don’t go so well, what’s the lesson?  If something is fun, what’s the lesson?  If things are not so fun… well, there is a lesson there, too.

A few years back, I did several podcast episodes about the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu.  But since then, for a number of reasons, I hung my gi up and ended by jiu jitsu life.

And that left a void in my life… along with a relocation for my wife and me.  Into that void, we put pickleball.  So, after less than three years of playing, I thought it might just be time for a little thinking on pickleball.  What are the lessons there?

(Separately, I am also doing some writing about the psychology of pickleball performance.  If you are interested, CHECK IT OUT HERE.)

While lots of the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu have only been strengthened by what I have learned from pickleball, I wanted to choose some different lessons for you.  Five, to be exact.  And no, you don’t have to play pickleball for the lessons to apply to your life, too.

You can listen to my Life Lessons from Pickleball episode below.

 

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Life Lessons from Pickleball Series

The Pickled Brain - psychology and performance

My Books

What's your WHY?  Your BIG WHY?  Why you are here.  The WHY that is your life purpose?

I think we all have one... even if we haven't found it yet.  It's there.  Within us.  Your first task is to find it.  That's important.  But finding it isn't enough.  Second, you have to move toward it, work toward it... try to fulfill it.  If it is big enough, it may just take you the rest of your life!

But what could get in your way??

The little "why's."  Your questions about "why did this happen?", "why are things this way?", "why do I feel this way?"

Those little why's can drown out the BIG WHY.  It draws our attention away from what is important.  And yet, those little why's get our attention and energy.  They keep us in circles, chasing after nothing helpful or useful.  Just stuck.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss our BIG WHY and the little why's that keep us away from the BIG WHY.

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Meaning/Purpose/Impact

Showing Up

Accepting WHAT IS

What Can You Control?

What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 1

What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 2

Thrive Principles Book

Life is tough.

Not always.  But along the way.  And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn't mean there isn't another one up ahead.  That's just the nature of life.

It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson.  It's just the nature of life.

You may notice 2 crowds.  First is the "Grind Culture" that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work.  They have a point that you have to get through some tough times.  But sometimes, it is wise to step back and ask if the fight is worth it.

Then there is the "Sign Culture."  That group tells you that any struggle is an indication you are on the wrong path, that something is wrong with you, and that life "should" be easy... if you are doing it right.  They have a point that sometimes, a struggle is pointing to you moving the wrong way... swimming upstream.  But the fact is, life means struggles... at times.

So what do you do to hold up when life gets you down?

We discuss it... and 5 things to do... on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

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Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

Dealing with Emotional Pain

Facing Fears

Accepting What Is

Book:  Thrive Principles - 15 Strategies for Building YOUR Thriving Life

Blame is rampant in today's world.  We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, "It's not my fault!"

Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes.

They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong.

We live in a "culture of blame."

Which is what often keeps us from growing.  From changing.  From learning from our mistakes.  If someone/something else is to blame, what could I (or you) do?  Not my fault... not my problem.

Change requires us to change the equation.  To take responsibility, when we are responsibible.  To share credit when others deserve credit.

Great leadership is about accepting ultimate responsibility for mistakes and problems, while giving credit for successes.

So, how do we turn the equation around?  I discuss it in this week's Thriveology Podcast.

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Responsibility

NMF Syndrome In Marriage

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Thrive Principles Book

Immutable Laws of Living Book

Maybe it’s just me… but I don’t think so!  Sometimes, we get so stuck in win/lose mentality that we defeat ourselves.  We struggle, wear ourselves out, and never get to the point of something else.

What else?

Learning.  Nelson Mandela said, “I don’t lose.  I either win or I learn.”  What I have realized is, I either learn or learn.  Sure, there may be an outcome… I win the game or lose the game.

But more importantly, did I learn?  Did I take something forward with me… that will make a difference as I move forward?

In this episode, I highlight the shift — as well as how to make it — with my experiences in jiu jitsu, disc golf, and pickleball.

Listen below.

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This episode as an article

My books on thriving and relationships

Here we go!  The old year has passed, and the new year stretches before us… full of possibility and potential.  Let’s talk about how to Thrive in ’25!

In this episode, I’ll tell you where I have been, and where the podcast is headed.  I’ve got lots of great stuff coming your way, and am excited to share it with you.

Also in this episode, I tell you the 3 A’s of what you can control, so you can start applying that RIGHT NOW.

Stay tuned for future episodes!

And listen to this episode below.

 

RELATED RESOURCES:

My Books, Click HERE

Episode Synopsis, Click HERE

Just a little rant here:  philosophy classes turn off many college students for a simple reason — they never get around to saying how philosophy can shake your living.  Some classes might teach more on “how to think philosophically,” or “here are the old philosophers.”  Some may speak to ethics or arguments, logic or some other esoteric area.  But how to live, day-to-day?  That is often lost to the student.

(By they way, I would offer this as an issue with much of theology, too.  Lots of talk about what not to do, what God (or gods) might be like, and how to judge how others live… but not so much clarity on living day-to-day.  But that is a rant for another day!)

Anyway, philosophy, as originally taught in ancient days, was exactly for deciding how to live.  How should you act, feel, and think?  As different schools of philosophy might point out, that all depends upon your basic ideas of what a meaningful life might be.

Sometimes, we are already acting in ways that point to our idea of meaning, even without a philosophical basis.  I think of this as our “natural philosophy” — how we have made sense of the world.

After my first book, many people asked if I was a Stoic.  At that time, I had only a passing concept of that philosophy.  Just one of those old schools of philosophy from a bygone age.  But after hearing it a number of times, I started investigating.  Sure enough, much of my approach to living day-to-day was Stoic.  Huh.

Then, I started finding others that had this same experience.  One of those is Vitaliy Katsenelson.  He is the CEO of an investment company.  But his story goes back to his family’s immigration to the United States, from Russia, when Vitaliy was a child.  He was old enough to still remember those memories of a dying USSR (and to hold onto a bit of an accent), but young enough to find his way through American culture.

After writing several books on investing (including the psychology of investing), Vitaliy took to talking about life.  Not just professional life.  But other areas of life.  Art, music, chess, and family life were grist for the mill of exploring meaning.

This led to Vitaliy’s latest book, Soul In The Game.  While in the process of writing, Vitaliy stumbled upon Stoic thought and found a new home there.  He incorporates that into this book, to further his exploration into the meaningful life (a slightly different question than the meaning of life).

I had a chance to sit down and chat with Vitaliy about a wide range of issues and topics, all related to how life becomes meaningful, and how to find that meaning.  Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to find out more.

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Vitaliy’s Website

Vitaliy’s Podcast

Find His Book Here

My Book on Thriving

I’ve had a few people who have noticed that the Thriveology Podcast has been on a bit of a hiatus for a couple of months.  They asked where I have been.

Well, since the question was about my podcast, I thought I would respond in… my podcast!

So, listen in for what I’ve been up to, where we are headed, and how you can learn more about thriving — along with me!

And we will be back with a great interview in the next episode.

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NEW:  Thriving with Lee Baucom resource

Lee’s Books

Do you ever do something that breaks a rule (or even a law), thinking to yourself that it doesn’t apply to you?

I do.

Sometimes, I use that speed limit sign as a suggestion.  I’m a good driver, I tell myself.  What harm could +5mph do?  Except the sign is a law, not a guideline or suggestion.

But I explain it away.  I decide it is ok.

I dare to venture that very close to 100% of people do something similar with some rule or law in their own lives.  Someone tells me that they think affairs are bad and unacceptable, while excusing their own infidelity.  I once saw a doctor (some years back) tell a patient that smoking was very bad for them, and they needed to stop… while heading out for a smoke break!

I could go on and on.

How do we make those moments make sense?  The "Me Exception,” to borrow a term I recently read about.  (The topic I was reading about is politically charged, but my observations were meant to note how we ALL do it, every day… and not about the topic I was reading about.)

The Me Exception.  We all do it… and it isn’t particularly beneficial to us thriving.  It might even be dangerous to the greater good!

Listen in below as we explore your Me Exception.

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The Un-Stuck Series

My Books on Thriving

Do you micro-quit?  I sure do.  And I need to quit micro-quitting!  Maybe you do, too.

It undermines my goals (and likely, your goals too).  And it keeps you from thriving.

What is micro-quitting?  Well, if you quit something (an activity, a job, a sport, a hobby, etc.), you stop doing it.  You step away from it.

But when you micro-quit, you don’t follow through on the smaller building blocks of the bigger thing.  You don’t quit.  But you chip away at that bigger thing.

For example, you are exercising.  Maybe you like to.  Maybe you want to be in better shape.  But either way, you have decided to exercise.

You set your alarm for an early workout.  It goes off.  You decide to hit the snooze button and do a shorter session.  Or you give up on that next set of reps.  Even though it was in your plan… and it was your intention to do it.  You don’t.  You micro-quit on that plan, on that action.

And in the process, you may be undermining your goals.  A little at a time, a micro-quit at a time.

It might just be keeping you and me from thriving!

I discuss micro-quitting (and how to micro-commit) in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

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Your Fierce Life

The Habits Series

Taking on Discomfort