The Thriving Abroad Podcast

Today’s Guest: Dana Nelson

Dana an American counsellor living in Lyon in France and offers counselling services to English speaking expats, international students and others who are struggling with emotional or personal difficulties. Dana has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Penn State University, USA.

Through her work Dana supports client who want to strengthen their emotional resilience, develop greater self-awareness and personal compassion, build more authentic, satisfying relationships and deepen the sense of meaning in their lives.

Dana is also the host of a weekly podcast show – Mindful Expat – recorded for expats and overseas adventurers who are looking for a guidepost for emotional well-being and resilience in their lives abroad

“Our greatest weakness is in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas Edison

Sometimes, on a bad day, it can feel as if we are trying and trying and getting exactly nowhere as we strive to set up our new lives abroad and navigate the ‘newness’ of everything – new language, environment, systems and processes.

Many challenges – with few successful outcomes. This is when resilience becomes key. And the good thing is we ALL possess resilience, and we can ALL work on building our resilience in times of stress and overwhelm.

In this weeks podcast with Dana we talk resilience – take a look at the key points:

* Dana shares her relocation story – see what signs of resilience you can spot in her story.

* Dana gives us her working definition of resilience.

* The signs that we are struggling in the resilience stakes and could benefit from reaching out for support and ASKing for help.

* Factors that contribute to resilience – everyday life and living is one!

* Why expat life can be a particular challenge when it comes to resilience.

* What we can do to build our resilience and how others can help us including our companies and organisations.

Your Resources:

* Dana Nelson’s Website 

* The Emotionally Resilient Expat: Engage, Adapt and Thrive Across Cultures by Linda Janssen

* Great resources on the topic of resilience – The American Psychological Association

* Access your free cheat-sheet HERE

“Resilience is not what happens to you. It’s how you react to, respond to and recover from what happens to you.”

Jeffrey Gitomer

Thanks so much for joining me for this episode. If you enjoyed the episode please share it using the social media buttons.

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In this weeks podcast Lucy Fogarty and Mohit Rajan founders of Culture Buff Games talk about developing country specific cartoon games to teach adults and teens about cultural values, emerging trends for online learning tools in the intercultural training field, the benefits of cartoons and gamification over traditional learning methodologies to impart cultural knowledge and the drivers behind future demand for online learning solutions in the intercultural field.

Culture Buff Games is a company that develops country specific interactive cartoon games to help adults and teenagers learn about cultural values in a way that is fun and engaging, leveraging the power of cartoons and gamification to boost cultural awareness. Culture Buff Games has a suite of games on American values and British values. Each game has 13 cartoons depicting historical events or contemporary real-world examples to highlight important American or British cultural values.  Culture Buff India and China will be released next year.

During the interview Mo outlines the emerging trends for online learning tools in the intercultural training field

* Changes in the way we impart and consume cultural knowledge

* Increase in shorter assignments and need for innovative tools to quickly thrive in new culture

* Millennial preference for bite size, actionable and relevant knowledge, accessible anytime, anywhere

* Millennial preference for gamification of content

Lucy talks about the universal appeal of cartoons for both adults and teenagers. She highlights some of the benefits of cartoons as educational tools and their effectiveness over traditional learning.

* Visual illustrations of cartoons boost retention and recall of knowledge.

* Cartoons increase engagement by arousing curiosity and facilitate accelerated learning.

* Cartoons are an effective trigger for opening up discussion and enabling the voicing of opinions.

Mo highlights some of the benefits of gamification

* Gamification appeals to millennials who enjoy learning via game like experiences

* Gamification induces a spirit of competition and boosts participation in learning

* Gamification boosts application of knowledge via problem solving and promotes accelerated learning.

* Gamification reinforces learning through spaced repetition.

Lucy talks about drivers behind future growth trends in the cultural training sector

* Growth in the cross-cultural training sector globally over the coming years will be driven by rise in expatriate assignments and demand by corporations for online learning

* Growth in online learning driven by cost saving, flexibility and scalability

* Latest trend gaining momentum is gamification of content.

* Need to find the right balance between face to face training and online learning solutions.

Visit  CULTURE BUFF GAMES to see the preview video and sign up for a free trial.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Expat life impacts on every aspect of our lives and no experience can be more personal and pertinent in this respect than pregnancy and child-birth. Arriving in a new location while pregnant can be challenging as I know. We moved to live on the island of Madeira when I was three months pregnant with my second child eleven years ago.

Knowing no-one and not having the normal support systems of parents, relatives and best friends back home, not speaking the local language or understanding the medical systems can add to the stress of the adjustment process. But if you know what questions to ask, and are able to calmly identify what kind of support you want and keep an open mind then there is every chance you will find the care you need. In this interview I talk to Karen Wilmot – The Virtual Midwife. The conversation provides invaluable tips and advice.

Karen has been involved in the arena of women’s health for many years. Working in the Middle East, Karen came to feel that pregnancy and childbirth were not being treated with the respect and honour they deserved – becoming too procedural and technocratic.

Karen wanted to support women at a deeper level and so eight years ago she started to support women her way and a year ago opened a centre for pregnant women in Oman. This is a delightful conversation about the experience of pregnancy and childbirth.

We talk about:

* The challenges women and their partners face when managing their pregnancy and child birth as an expat.

* What Karen means by supporting pregnancy and childbirth from a holistic perspective.

* Karen’s take on FEAR and her suggestions on how to manage those fearful thoughts and feelings.

* What questions to ask and when.

* We finish with Karen’s five tips for creating a calming birth environment.

We hope you enjoy this interview and please do share with your friends.

To learn more about Karen and her online programme you can go to www.thevirtualmidwife.com where you can also connect with Karen.

At the end of the podcast I talk about two books Knocked Up Abroad: Stories of pregnancy, birth and raising a family in a foreign country and Knocked Up Abroad Again: Baby bumps, twists and turns around the globe by Lisa Ferland. You can find them on Amazon and listen to my interview with Lisa HERE

For clarity, these are not affiliate links. These are resources that I believe may be helpful to you. Please conduct your own research to ensure you are making an informed decision before buying. 

We all know that international relocation can be a challenging and emotive experience. The highs and lows can be overwhelming and while the experience for the majority is generally very positive, there can be days when the going gets tough. It is on those days that the accessibility and quality of relocation support makes all the difference. 

In this weeks podcast Ines Nascimento shares her personal and professional experience as an international HR expert and expat.

When organizational support does not meet expectations the following comments can be heard….

But… they just don’t get it… don’t care…… are not interested…… keep making mistakes…….have left us in limbo.

They being representative of the people who are connected with relocation support either in-house or from any relocation support provider.

Of course, it is not all bad. I also hear stories of fantastic support and great service provision. What differentiates the good from the bad? I believe it has a lot to do with the way in the service provisions are delivered.

Timely provision that relates to the needs of the assignee and family obviously helps. Empathy and compassion provides the icing on the cake. But here’s the catch. Empathy and compassion comes from a place of interest and understanding – an understanding of the employee experience.

This can be a problem when support is provided by people who have not lived abroad themselves or are simply not interested or trained sufficiently to understand the practical and emotional challenges of relocation.

In this weeks, Thriving Abroad Podcast I talk to Ines Nascimento, a global HR mobility professional who truly understands both sides of the relocation coin because both have featured as part of her life.

As an HR specialist, Ines worked in global mobility roles in Portugal. Then she, together with her husband decided they wanted to experience life outside of Portugal. They set off with very clear intentions. To experience life in two widely contrasting cultures.

They moved first to the US, secondly China. Their mission: to get into the real soul of each country. No expat bubble for them. They spent four years in Tennessee USA, and then moved to a Tier 2 city in China.

Ines shares her experience on the podcast saying:

‘It’s a transformative experience in my opinion. A unique way of challenging yourself. Getting to know yourself better. Knowing you can thrive in almost any environment if you put your focus and your energy well into that. It changes you professionally and personally too.’

But beyond this, the goal for Ines was to use this opportunity to keep up with her career and add competencies and skills to her CV.

As a result, this expat experience gave her a unique perspective and insight into the experience of international assignees.

Ines conclusion: often the issues of discussion in global mobility seem disconnected to the real issues and lived challenges of the assignee and their family. Ines believes there is work to be done on aligning these two perspectives.. which was music to my ears as co/author of the book THRIVING ABROAD: The definitive guide to professional and personal relocation success.

Ines highlights the three core challenges she believes HR/GM face. As she says, nothing new or revolutionary…. but areas that are crucially important in setting employees up for success during and after their assignment:

* Identifying the right person to send abroad

* Adjustment of the accompanying family

* Repatriation planning

We talk about her perspective on these three challenges and Ines’ advice for both the organization and employee. Ines was keen to emphasise that getting this right depends on both the organization and employee accepting ‘it is a mutual responsibility.’

To learn more about Ines you can visit her website

I’ve moved location 7 times and house 12 times in the last 17 years. I know this is not a winner in terms of number and frequency of moves amongst the international community, but it does mean that change has been a pretty big constant in my families lives. In fact, having now been back in the UK for nearly three years I do find myself gazing interestingly at international removal lorries and wondering, with a modicum of jealousy about their upcoming transitions. There is something addictive about new beginnings…. 

International relocation is a massive undertaking, one that is not always recognised as such at the outset – you can’t know what you don’t know. In this podcast this week, Evelyn and I talk about how our experiences lead us to write our book THRIVING ABROAD, which is launched today. 

I (Louise) remember our first move to Madrid as an exciting but challenging time. My early euphoria at not having to get up for work, soon morphed into a sense of aimlessness. There are only so many times you can go to the gym in any one week, and with a husband who was working looooong hours I was initially home alone far too much. Spanish lessons were a distraction -but I soon found verb conjugation on my shady balcony was no substitute for real conversation.

Relocating to live in Lisbon several years later, admittedly not a huge distance away, was enough to unsettle and mean starting all over again. We battled with bureaucracy and unpleasant neighbours (a very long story) – suffice to say it was not the best start. We were responsible for the entire move, no company support at all… yep it was a stressful time. 

What I realise now looking back is that over time we developed a process and way of coping with the change. Each move is bitter sweet, saying goodbye is sad, not easy way around that, but fortunately it is balanced with the excitement of new beginnings and opportunities. While the emotions are never easy, over time the template for relocation grows and each move becomes more automatic and hopefully organised.

Our greatest relocation moment was when we managed to organize a move out from one house in 24 hours, from phoning the removal company, to packing up furniture, possessions and kids – all gone overnight – we were seriously impressed with ourselves. And no, we were not running from the law, well not directly. Our landlord was about to have all possessions repossessed by the bailiffs and ours were not differentiated from hers. My husband managed to sweet talk the bailiff into returning just a few days later – giving us time to make a very quick exit.

But I digress, back to international relocation:

There is a flow to the whole process. A rhythm and sequence of practical and emotional ups and downs. No two moves are ever the same; culture, location, jobs and life stages account for that – but there are similarities and we can learn certain things from one move that can be applied to others.

THRIVING ABROAD the book was born from this experience of change and the lessons learned along the way. It is the book I would have loved to have all those years ago in Madrid. The Framework for Thriving Abroad reminds us to put ourselves at the centre of the relocation process. To gain clarity about what makes it a valuable experience for us from a professional, personal and family perspective. Professional clarity would have certainly helped me in those early years, I drifted for more years than I care to remember.

It also emphasises the importance of setting realistic expectations. Ensuring that the decision is founded on an understanding of both the opportunities and challenges of such a massive life change.

When managing home based employees the extent of the employee, employer relationship is usually clear. The organisation may run a few family days, invite partners to celebratory meals from time to time, but generally work and family life have clear(ish) boundaries.

Put an international relocation into the picture and suddenly the delineation between work and family begin to break down. The employees work and role takes the lead and in a way that impacts on every family members lives. The partner often takes on a supportive role, facilitating many aspects of the relocation. That is not to say their career necessarily dies, but for the majority it is put on hold. In this weeks podcast, Marta Guarneri shares her research into the impact of family dynamics on the expatriation cycle, and how organisations can better support the relocation process.

The future of the whole family, their expectations and lives become inextricably linked to the assigning organisation. The psychological contract; the unwritten set of expectations of the employment relationship, encompasses not only the now more complex expectations of the employee, but also those of the partner and family. Denise Rousseau talks about the psychological contract including informal arrangements, mutual beliefs, common ground and perceptions between two parties. It is something that is not fixed, but evolves constantly based on communication.

So, imagine the impact these two different perspectives on HR involvement and connection with partners might have on the psychological contract and the level of engagement and commitment to the assignment experience.

One HR manager was clear that they needed to know people so they could offer the best support. They wanted to know what they were dealing with, to offer support that was valued, develop family loyalty.

Another HR manager was loathed to create an open channel of communication with anyone other than the assignee. They feared that should they encourage a connection with the partner, the partner would exploit it and become a nuisance.

Which opinion was right?

Well, in my opinion the first, although I am pretty sure the second HR Manager would do a good job at justifying the need to keep the relationship at a distance. After all, the written contract is with the employee, lines should not be crossed and resources are not limitless.

And yet, over the years I have heard partners talk so many times about the role they play, the support they provide, and sadly in many cases the absence of any recognition. Often it is the small gestures that make the difference.

Marta’s research: The Impact of Family Dynamics on the Expatriation Cycle, aimed to understand the common factors that foster the success or failure of international assignments and to isolate some of the best HR practices that could impact performance, retention and organisational commitment. 

Her results were fascinating. Here are some soundbites to spark you interest:

It is the ineffectiveness of organisational support that is the issue.

The key is to know what makes an efficient package, to maximise it, not waste it.

Understanding the needs of the assignee and family is key.

Relocation support in situ so often is inadequate and represents wasted resources.

Flexibility is key when meeting the needs of a new generation who expect flexibility.

Want to listen to more PODCASTS? Head over to the Thriving Abroad Podcast channel – HERE.

Please feel free to share amongst your networks. My goal is to grow this podcast audience 10 fold by the end of 2017.

Supporting Elderly Relatives from Abroad.

One of the more challenging aspects of relocating internationally is the need to leave loved ones behind. Sometimes this involves leaving children at boarding school or at university. Often it means leaving our parents and relatives, and as they age the challenges involved in caring for them from afar can become increasingly complex and stressful. Of course, we want the best for them, but it can be difficult to know how best to support them when we are not available to visit regularly.

Of course, we cannot future proof our lives and the lives of those we love from all adversity but we can put in place contingencies that will support us and our loved ones in difficult times.

On the Podcast today, I talk to Alison Hesketh from Time Finders. Time Finders exists to provide:

‘Practical and emotional support for older people and their families in changing circumstances.’

Twelve years ago, Alison’s mother found herself no longer able to manage the house she had lived in for many years. Alison helped her to sort through a lifetime’s possessions and settle into her new home in a new community. This experience lead to the realisation that there was a pressing need for a service to help others in a similar position and so Time Finders was born.

This conversation is pertinent for you if you:

Have parents or elderly relatives and don’t want your sense of responsibility for their care to prevent you from relocating or continuing to live abroad.

Want to better understand the issues and challenges that may be encountered as your relatives age.

Want to be prepared for a crisis with a well thought through, and most importantly agreed contingency plan.

Are a silver surfer yourself, over 50, yep that would be me too, and want to think about how you can prepare for your more senior years responsibly.

As Alison says during our conversation:

‘If you have a contingency plan it can reduce immeasurably the level of anxiety you face when somebody becomes ill or an emergency happens….. A contingency plan is not just about your parents or relatives it is about helping you to avoid the blind panic that comes at the point an emergency arises.

You can learn more about Time Finders HERE, where they are happy to offer a complimentary consultation and you can sign up to receive their regular newsletter.

 

This month marks a slight change to the remit of the Thriving Abroad Podcast. I have decided to broaden the scope of the interviews to one that encompasses the subject of global mobility from both the perspective of the organisation AND the assignee, partner and family.

This week’s interview is with Jana Gál. Our conversation investigates these different perspectives on global mobility, I introduce our conversation later in this blog post.

Working in the field of global mobility it can at times feel there are two worlds co-existing, sometimes a little uncomfortably. On one side, there is the world of the global mobility practitioners, who make the relocations happen from a technical and functional perspective. They create and implement policy and support the whole relocation process practically. Essential support, without which international mobility could not happen. This support can be variable in its provision. Some organisations have highly sophisticated programmes, others not so much.

On the other side, is the lived experience of the international assignee and family. The practical and logistical aspects of the relocation experience are important to them, but there is also an emotional/psychological experience that relates to the transition and adjustment process. When assignees feel their needs are not being fully met, especially when practical aspects go wrong there can be a perception that support is not appropriate or sufficient. This can impact negatively on the adjustment process.

Over years of experience and observation I have concluded that where there is a breakdown in perception of support it often stems from mis-communication between the global mobility teams and the assignee and family. The perception of the experience can be so different from each side that mis-understanding can easily arise.

When I think back to our first international move I realise there was a lot that we did not understand, appreciate or even contemplate as a potential issue or challenge as we prepared to move. In some ways we muddled through, but in others we paid the price, it was not an easy transition. Assignees don’t always understand the world of the global mobility in terms of the complexity of compliance, legal and tax related issues. Indeed, how could they if they have never relocated abroad before?

As a result, global mobility teams can feel frustrated by what they see as the endless demands of the assignee and family and do not always appreciate the lived experience and challenges of the assignee. As expats, we know it is often the little things that break us in the end OR make the difference in terms of support. That unexpected phone call to check in with us, the quick card that says welcome, please get in touch if we can help.

Our forthcoming book: Thriving Abroad: The Definitive Guide to Professional and Personal Relocation Success, aims to bridge these two worlds. Written for the assignee and partner, the book guides them through the relocation process, emphasising the value of preparation and a proactive approach to their move abroad. The chapter on global mobility provides an overview of what an employee can expect from their global mobility teams, with suggestions about how to work together effectively. We hope that the process outlined in the book will provide the basis for conversation between both sides of the relocation equation, one that starts from a point of common understanding about the challenges and opportunities of international relocation.

This week I talk to Jana Gál about her expat experiences, which comes from multiple perspectives of overseas living. Jana worked in HR management as a global mobility advisor, supporting international assignees, was an international assignee herself, and most recently relocated to Brussels as an expat partner supporting her husband’s career move. These different perspectives made for a fascinating conversation,