The Tracey Coates Show

The Divorce Chronicles Episode #4 Melissa Kucinski

The Impact of International Family Law Issues During the Divorce Process With Guest Melissa Kucinski

Melissa Kucinski is a family law attorney and mediator practicing in the DC and Maryland area. She has created a unique niche in the family law area and brings a wealth of knowledge and experience in international family law. She has served as a consultant to the Hague Conference on Private International Law and has written a dozen articles on international children’s issues and mediation of complex cross-border custody and abduction cases. 

There is no one better than Melissa to share the ins and outs of the Hague Treaty. Melissa has also presented at nearly 30 national and international conferences on international children’s issues. She is a Fellow of the International Academy of Lawyers. She is also a professor at the George Washington University School of Law where she has been teaching international family law since 2010. She is the author of A Practical Handbook for the Child’s Attorney: Effectively Representing Children in Custody Cases. It’s an honor to have her on the show today.

You can find Melissa here:

MK Family Law

Melissa Kucinski on LinkedIn

MK Family Law on Facebook

@mkucinski on Twitter

A Practical Handbook for the Child’s Attorney: Effectively Representing Children in Custody Cases

Show Notes:

[03:01] Melissa has been through the divorce process herself. It was in a state where she was not licensed to practice law. Each state has slightly different laws.

[03:37] Going through her own divorce gave Melissa a different perspective.

[05:59] Melissa practices all family law in Washington DC and Maryland, but she has a particular interest in focusing on families who have cross jurisdictional or international issues. 

[06:31] She has had an interest in working with diverse people with diverse ways of life, ever since college.

[07:13] It's very complex dealing with laws in multiple jurisdictions. She is practicing true law.

[08:10] Melissa was fortunate to connect with family law at an early stage in her education. Working with international families was a wonderful experience.

[11:06] Families going through restructuring who have international connections need to talk to a lawyer who understands these complex issues.

[12:15] The process for dealing with international issues. There needs to be a collaboration of lawyers in all of the different jurisdictions.

[16:26] How are orders enforced either overseas or in the US? It depends on the issue and the country of enforcement.  

[18:48] Dealing with property issues in different jurisdictions. A complicating factor of overseas assets is that the laws in other countries are very different.

[23:53] Child abduction and parents taking their children overseas. Children are often taken by people they know like a parent or family member.

[24:24] There is always the question of whether another country will honor an order given in the United States.

[25:11] There are some laws in the United States that make taking a child overseas a crime. The criminal path is the worst-case scenario.

[26:18] There are civil remedies. One of these is the

Discussing Collaborative Law as an Alternative to the Divorce Process with Sheila Gardner

Many of you associate the divorce process with litigation. When I talk about litigation, I mean appearing before and presenting evidence to the judge to advance your position before the judge makes a decision on the outcome. There are also alternatives to litigation like collaborative law. 

Today, I am joined by attorney and mediator Sheila Gardner the founder of Cooperative Strategies Family Law. Sheila joins us to discuss the ins and outs of collaborative law and what it means, how the process works, and who the various players are who make up the collaborative team.

As a trained collaborative attorney, Sheila is able to guide her clients to a mutually acceptable resolution in which both parties feel that their highest priorities have been addressed. She draws from a wealth of knowledge and experience as a practicing attorney. She also draws from her own personal experiences as a parent and a child who experienced divorce at a young age.

You can find Sheila here:

Cooperative Strategies Family Law

Show Notes:

[02:47] Sheila grew up in Milwaukee. In 1975, her parents got divorced. Her family was the first family that she knew of that was going through a divorce. 

[03:40] Sheila remembers being six years old and watching cartoons while her father was loading things up in his truck.

[04:11] It was a shock when their mother told them that their dad was leaving.

[05:10] Her parents had the foresight to keep them together as a family even though their parents were not a couple anymore.

[07:17] As an attorney and parent, Sheila realized that she had a skill set that can help others in a way that will protect their children. She has lived it.

[08:53] About four years ago, Sheila realized that she was made for this work. 

[10:29] Sheila realized that helping people with co-parenting was one of her callings. She's found a place to connect her love of supporting parents with law.

[11:14] The idea of family law and litigation and going to trial didn't sit well with her until she learned about collaborative practice. 

[12:07] Collaborative law is an out-of-court dispute resolution process. This means you decide to settle your differences out-of-court.

[12:49] With collaborative law you have full support of a team which includes lawyers, mental health specialists, and even a financial specialist. Everyone is committed to helping the couple find their own solutions.

[17:36] Even though there are more people on the team, things can move more quickly with the collaborative law process. It also affords an opportunity to find resolutions for all of the issues and not have to return to court.

[19:40] How the teams for collaborative law are chosen.

[23:25] There is extensive training for collaborative law and certain standards that need to be maintained.

[24:40] Sheila truly loves people and wants to help them do law and approach conflict in a collaborative way.

[27:12] How collaborative law works for high conflict couples. Having the support of the mental health specialist is very important. Everyone on the team has been trained with conflict resolution strategies.

[34:46] Having a mental support of the child health specialist is invaluable for these children.

[35:09] Sheila also offers co-parenting support services.

[36:53] One of the first things that needs to happen is the creation of the co-parenting plan. This includes schedules, access,

The Divorce Chronicles Episode #2 

How a Divorce Coach Can Help You Navigate the Divorce Process With Guest Cherie Morris

Cherie Morris is a divorce coach, parent coordinator, an author, and a mother. While going through her own divorce, Cherie recognized a need for an organized framework and a path to communication. Transitioning through divorce can be an emotionally charged time and having tools and professionals in place to assist along the way is essential.

Now Cherie uses her expertise and personal experience to help others go through the divorce process and to transition and coparent in a way that is best for the children. In this episode, Cherie shares what it is to be a divorce coach and a parent coordinator. She shares some of the problems that arise with communication and expectations. Along with, how to find the support you need to frame the process in way that respects a family even after divorce.

You can find Cherie here:

Dear Divorce Coach

Dear Divorce Coach on Facebook

@DearDivorceTeam on Twitter

Dear Divorce Coach on Pinterest

Dear Divorce Coach on Instagram

Cherie Morris on LinkedIn

Show Notes:

[02:13] Cherie went through her divorce after being in a long-term marriage and having children. 

[02:24] She had experienced divorce through her parents and friends, but what was different was that her spouse was very unprepared for coparenting and making decisions that were good for the family. 

[02:55] Even after a divorce if you have children, you are still a family in many ways.

[03:11] Cherie had a top-notch lawyer and a good therapist. She was also a lawyer. Still, she felt that an objective thinking partner was missing from the process.

[03:52] She needed someone to help steer her clear from the pitfalls when emotions are high and logic is not always at the forefront.

[04:01] After her divorce, she discovered that this training was available.

[04:05] Cherie was ending her legal practice and saw this as an opportunity to pursue her passion and help others going forward with their divorces.

[04:17] This led to Cherie's current career as a divorce coach and parent coordinator.

[04:51] Things that people should be thinking about when going through the divorce process.

[05:26] First off, you should always ask, can this marriage be saved? Have you done the work to repair the marriage if possible?

[05:54] Have you contemplated how things will look financially after the divorce?

[06:39] Always looked as closely as you can so that there are no unexpected surprises

[06:46] Ask what type of co-parent you expect your spouse to be. 

[07:58] What is a divorce coach?

[08:28] The divorce coach holds your hand every step of the journey from the contemplation stage to the possible post-divorce complications.

[09:54] You will also need an attorney and possibly a therapist for emotional support.

[10:23] A certified divorce financial analyst is also very helpful.

[10:46] The divorce coach also provides help on the parenting front and making decisions with the co-parent.

[11:23] A divorce coach provides support and helps find professionals to meet whatever needs the divorcing couple is going through.

[12:35] A divorce coach also helps you frame your values.

[13

The Divorce Chronicles Episode #1

Simplifying the Divorce Process with Straightforward Information

Welcome to The Divorce Chronicles a forum for practical and insightful information for everyone at every stage of the divorce process. I’m your host Tracey Coates. In this first episode, I would like to introduce myself and share my goals and intentions for this podcast.

I have been a practicing family law attorney for 15 years in the Maryland and DC area. Over the years, people contemplating divorce have often asked me where they should start. Divorce is an emotional roller coaster and adding in complex legal issues makes it even more challenging. My goal with this show is to share straightforward simple explanations without all of the legalese. 

Show Notes:

[32] I've been practicing as a family law attorney for 15 years in the Maryland and DC area.

[42] Over the years, people contemplating divorce have asked me where should they start. This podcast is a passion project culminating my years of experience.

[01:10] Divorce is an emotional roller coaster, adding in the sometimes confusing and complex legal process makes it even worse.

[01:47] I am going to provide simple straightforward information about the divorce process to you the listener.

[02:04] I'm going to provide the forum for everyone to be an active and engaged participant in their own divorce proceedings.

[02:15] I'll provide you with legal information, professionals that you may encounter along the journey, and we’ll explore a variety of issues including custody, alimony, and financial issues that may come up.

[02:30] We'll also talk about international law and the impact the divorce may have on your real property.

[02:55] The podcast will mostly be presented in an interview format. It's important to me that people going through divorce are exposed to a wealth of information.

[03:05] We are not a platform offering legal advice in any way shape or form. We are also not a substitute for seeking advice of a professional attorney in your area who knows and understands your specific situation.

[03:21] Welcome! I am so excited to share a wealth of information offered in my upcoming episodes.

[03:31] My pre-divorce checklist.

[03:45] This checklist is a good starting point to think about areas in your life that will assist you down the road in your divorce process.

Do you have any topics that you would like me to cover in future shows? Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe to the show, and if you are enjoying what you hear please leave a review on iTunes.

Links and Resources:

Download the Pre-Divorce Checklist

Post Divorce Financial Tips with guest Heather Locus

Wealth manager Heather Locus is here today to talk about post divorce financial issues that people really need to be mindful of. She is an owner and leader at the Divorce Practice Group at the private wealth management firm of Balasa Dinverno Foltz or BDF which is headquartered near Chicago, Illinois.

She focuses her practice on individuals throughout the US that are going through a divorce. She helps them untangle their marital assets and helps customize a new strategy to fund the next chapter of their lives. As a divorced parent and business owner, Heather understands the most complex divorce issues. Although the struggles of divorce can be life-altering, she believes that divorce can make you stronger and lead to great things. 

Heather has been recognized as a  “Best-In-State Wealth Advisor” by Forbes; a “Top 200 Top Wealth Adviser Mom” by Working Mother as well as a “Five Star Wealth Manager” by Chicago Magazine. She is also an author and has contributed to many top publications including The Wall Street Journal, AARP Bulletin and Divorce Magazine.

You can find Heather here:

Balasa Dinverno Foltz, LLC (BDF)

BDF Important Disclosure Information

Heather Locus on LinkedIn

@HeatherLocus on Twitter

Heather Locus on Forbes

Show Notes:

[03:30] Heather is an owner at a private wealth management firm that manages about 4 billion in assets. She leads the Divorce Practice Group and helps people through all aspects of divorce.

[03:52] They often start by helping people hire the right team and professionals that they need. They also help give clarity on when someone should settle.

[04:15] They also help people understand the agreement and audit the agreement on a yearly basis. Then they help people create the next chapter of their lives on their own terms.

[04:32] Heather went through a divorce 8 years ago. After getting divorced, Heather realized that there was so much more they could do to help divorcing men and women.

[05:52] They help people make decisions and also help people know when they don't have to make a decision.

[06:17]  After the divorce is done, they are a key partner for financial decisions going forward.

[07:15] The first thing people should do post-divorce is remain kind to themselves and have grace.

[08:02] After a divorce, there is time for all of the emotions that you couldn't deal with during the process to come up. The ripple effect is often overwhelming and unexpected. The first thing you should do is pause and understand that this is normal.

[08:59] The marital settlement agreement is the key document on the financial perspective. This will detail property settlement, income, and obligations. It's a good idea to go through this document one more time with your attorney.

[09:28] It's important to have a road map and an ongoing audit. 

[11:02] If a couple works with a good team during the marriage, it's possible that they can keep that team. Sometimes both spouses will need a higher level of expertise.

[13:46] With assets and investments you really need to understand how things are titled. You also need to be aware of the tax ramifications before transferring assets.

[14:25] Set up a taxable account in your name or in your trust. Then you will probably need an IRA and all paperwork so your ad