Inspired by The Life After Podcast episode where Chuck Parson interviewed Brady Hardin, Carrie staged a hostile takeover of the Pint-Sized Healing Podcast to talk to SwanWaters director Mags Thomson about the origins of the organization, her own survivor story, and what The Healing Academy means to her. 

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• It’s common for targets and survivors of abuse to feel like they’re crazy

• It’s important for targets and survivors to connect with people who understand their situation who will remind them that they’re actually sane in a crazy situation

• The story of The Ugly Duckling (the inspiration behind the name for SwanWaters) is the only fairytale where the main character simply grows into who they are—he didn’t have to DO anything to be beautiful or valuable. He simply, inherently was

• The Healing Academy is a place for survivors of abuse to learn new skills to build a healed and happy life. It’s not top-down teaching. It’s community learning (we learn from each other)

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Event page for the Compassionate Goal Setting webinar

Carrie’s life coach, Liz Smith 

Meet the SwanWaters team

Join The Healing Academy Plus program

Hexxus the Oil Monster from Ferngully if you're interested haha 

In this episode of the Pint-Sized Healing Podcast, Mags and Carrie reflect on a piece Stewart (Mags' husband) wrote about his experience with her toxic family. 

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Main Take-Aways

  •  When you're aware that the abusive person in your life likes to drive wedges between people, make sure you compare notes with those who matter to you so that the truth doesn't get distorted 

  •  Have limitations around what you share with the abusive person so they can't use it as ammunition against you later

  •  If you're aware that something isn't right in a relationship you're involved in (even if you can't quite put your finger on it), share this concern with trustworthy friends and family so that they can be aware of your situation

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Click here to read the original House of Mirrors blog post.   

So often, as soon as we wake up our mind flood with everything that we should be doing that day. All the chores and tasks that are on our mental to-do list. From the moment we wake up, we find ourselves in a state of overwhelm, because (if you are anything like me) we usually add too much to that mental list.

We immediately begin to think of contingency plans. What can we knock off that list? There goes a long relaxing shower! Bye bye 30 minutes with a magazine and a cuppa! Everything that isn't urgent is off. But what is that if the fluff that keeps you sane? The self-care that is crucial to your healing? What if, rather than assuming you won't finish all your goals for the day… you plan to actually have your cake and eat it too?

Main Take-Aways

When we think about self-care and healing, we often feel overwhelmed at the prospect of adding more things to our all ready overflowing to-do list. So if we can't add more to the list, how can we make the items that are already on there really count? The answer: change how we feel about our chores,and how we view their necessity in our days. It might sound weird, but we can actually make our day-to-day tasks count as self-care in our healing journey.  

• Your self-talk about the chores/tasks/work you have to do will shape how you feel about them

• You can reframe the way you look at the things on your to-do list not as things you "have to do", but things you "get to do" as an act of self-care 

• You can choose to look at the "mundane" tasks as a respite from our emotional turmoil 

• Choose to do things you have to do with a focus on the feelings you want to experience. E.g. the sense of wellbeing that comes from having a tidy home, or the sense of pride that comes from knowing your dog feels great after taking her for a walk

• Clutter Bug: Audio Tools to Get Things Clean and Tidy | A course by Kelly-Ann Maddox

If you want to learn more about how to self-care, we actually have a module in The Healing Academy specifically devoted to the topic! Click here to enroll now! 

Before you get started with today's episode, I just wanted to address the fact that we are going to be talking about religion today. Religion is usually something we stay clear of because this topic is quite triggering for us and other survivors of spiritual and religious abuse who are part of our community. This is why we ask our members to stay away from religious expression, unless… it is part of your story or experience.  This request has led to quite a few questions, so… 

Today, we are talking about religious abuse and religious trauma syndrome. That means we are obviously talking about religion as part of our stories. 

>> Special Guest: Brady Hardin << 

Brady Hardin is one of the hosts of The Life After Podcast. In it, he and his co-host, Chuck Parson, interview special guests with diverse, life-changing exoduses away from oppressive forms of Christianity. Brady was part of a fundamentalist church where he was committed to dedicating his life to the faith and was on course to becoming a pastor or church planter. When he turned to his pastors for help with his failing marriage, that planned trajectory soon changed. It eventually led to the breaking up of the marriage, and his leaving the church. 

*Carrie quotes Tash Agaffanof about grace being given by God to people, not people to other people.

Find out more about Brady: 

Website: https://www.thelifeafter.org/ 

Podcast: https://www.thelifeafter.org/podcast 

Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/thelifeafterorg/videos/508652112862038/ 

Brady's Story: https://www.thelifeafter.org/spiritual-abuse-religious-trauma 

>> Links to Resources << 

Here are the resources we mention in this podcast: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" - Brene Brown: https://amzn.to/2qJ7efG (I reference some information that I got from this book) 

10% Happier - Dan Harris (book: https://amzn.to/2T5mmB1 | podcast: https://www.10percenthappier.com/podcast/) 

The Power of Myth - Joseph Campbell (book: https://amzn.to/2PNG6dJ | Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/70281117 (availability depends on your location))