Today I talk about the Terrifying Euphoria, a concept I reference a lot. It is something that I feel we often encounter in our healing journey.

- We sometimes identify with the trauma we have encountered in our lives

- As harmful as abuse is, it is familiar harm

- Escaping from abuse means stepping into the unknown

- It is hard to know who we are without the trauma, pain, and experiences

- The prospect of reinventing ourselves can be overwhelming, and scare us into staying still and not healing.

Join us on Facebook for support from your fellow survivors: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SwanWaters/

* Since the recording, I have learned that the quote in this podcast is by Ebonee Davis

This week I am joined my spiritual mentor and energy healer Jacqui McGinn. We talk about the effects of narcissistic abuse and focus especially on belief, disbelief, and mindset.

- Disbelief is equally powerful as belief

- Emotional abuse lacks tangible truth that makes it "easy" to remain oblivious

- Seeing the abuse is terrifying, and some people chose not to see it for that reason

- Coming to terms with abuse means questioning your entire reality

- Happy, healthy people don't usually hurt other people

- Narcissistic people are stuck in their trauma and create a world of disbelief around them. Everyone around them is dragged into this world of lies

- You stop relying on your own observations, thoughts, and emotions

- Emotions are our truth-tellers and we stop listening to them

- It takes time to rebuild your confidence

- The narcissist has to put people down in order to feel better about themselves

- Labels aren't always necessary, all we need to do is ask: is this loving behavior?

Carrie Maya and I read an old blog post of mine and comment on how our insights have developed over the years.

Here is the original blog post from February 20, 2016: http://swanwaters.com/playing-the-victim/

SwanWaters team member Carrie Maya talks you through her process as she deals with emotional overwhelm (it's real-time!)

- Where are you feeling the emotion?

- What is the emotion you are feeling?

- What is at the root of the feeling?

- Once you identify what's going on, come up with a plan of action

- Dealing with emotions can take quite some time

Remember

*Your feelings cannot hurt you*

In this episode I share a little trick I used (and still use) to quiet those nasty voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough, not worthy of love...

After recording this episode I came across this Instagram post, and fell in love with it: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl2oQuBguqv/

Today's episode was originally recorded as a Facebook Live. I answer the questions left for me in the Facebook Group.

I talk about building and maintaining relationships and friendships.

- We may have learned toxic relationship tools in the past

- Our relationships are reflections of our relationship with ourselves

- So, what can we learn about ourselves from the issues we are experiencing?

Sometimes we say the wrong thing, we make someone feel uncomfortable, insecure or just plain bad. We don’t mean to, but we cannot always predict how others will react. We are not always 100% switched on to our own emotional state, our tone of voice, and the small or big traumas that we suffered… We are after all only human.

So, how do you tell the difference between a mistake and abuse?

- Mistakes are occasional and random, not structural and strategic

- Mistakes are just that, and they are not blatant disregard

- Mistakes are learning points, not repetitive actions

- In a healthy relationship, there is a willingness to learn and compromise

Check out information about the Healing Academy here: http://swanwaters.com/healing-academy/

Have you considered that some of your responses are not part of being a survivor of abuse, but simply the result of being part of the human race?

- Everybody gets stressed, anxious or worried sometimes

- Your lizard brain responds with the Flight, Fight or Freeze response

- Talk to friends about their experiences of stress - it will help

Healing is a learning curve, and it takes time and practice to get better at it.

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We repeat what we don't repair

– Christine Langley – Obaugh

***

- STOP kicking yourself

- See and celebrate your progress

- Learning takes practice (unfortunately)

We were discussing the habit of overthinking in the SwanWaters Facebook Group. I wanted to give you my perspective and share some tools on how to deal with this.

- Figure out who the voice belongs to

- Let go of voices that no longer serve you

- Use meditation to become more aware of your thoughts

- Break the inner-dialogue by trying to guess your next thought

If you want to hang out in the Facebook Group, go here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SwanWaters/

If you want to listen to the RuPaul Podcast, head here: http://www.rupaulpodcast.com/