The Unbreakable Boundaries Podcast

It can be a really confusing time when your loved one gets out of rehab. It can be confusing for you as well as them. It's emotional, it's a little chaotic and not at all what you would expect it to look like. In this next podcast, I share a little bit about what you can expect. This is generalization, so if you have questions about your own loved one, please reach out to me.

[email protected]

maneelyconsulting.com

In this episode, Michele Rogers shares with us her journey of losing her son. This was a powerful conversation about what happens next as well as her experience. The biggest take away from this conversation is, this is not a parenting problem.

Here is just a little of Michele's story and what she has to say:

I grew up in Tidewater Virginia and later attended Saint Leo College in Florida. I had two sons, Clayton (1989) and Bradley (1992). When I divorced in 1996 I moved with my young sons to Waynesville, NC. I worked in hospitality and marketing. I met my husband in 1999 and was remarried in 2003. I became a Real Estate Broker in 2005 and worked in sales until buying a Property Management Company in 2010.

My husband and I are both NC Real Estate Brokers and together with our small staff, we manage over 400 long term rental properties for our company Select Homes.

When my oldest son, Clay, was in her very early 20s he had a sinus surgery and was over-prescribed pain pills. He became addicted to the pain pills and entered treatment for the first time in 2012. His pain pill addiction turned into a heroin addiction around 2015. From 2012-2018 Clay cycled in nd out of rehab, being substance free, relapsing and back to rehab. In September of 2018 after being substance free for 11 months, Clay relapsed and last his life to fentanyl.

After losing my son, I knew I wanted to do something to help other family members navigate the lonely journey of having a loved one with SUD and the even lonelier grief journey after losing someone to Substance Passing. I met Lisa Falbo and we learned that we had this in common and together we started the 501(c)3 - The SHARE Project. SHARE stands for Spreading Hope and Awareness and Removing the Epidemic Stigma. We hold events including quarterly workshops to bring awareness and education of the drug epidemic. We sit on several drug awareness and prevention coalitions throughout our county and region. We facilitate two monthly support groups - SMART RECOVERY FAMILY & FRIENDS for those who have loved ones struggling with SUD and GRASP - Grief Recovery After Substance Passing. We host an annual Drug Awareness Walk and Event as well as an annual International Overdose Awareness Event. This past may we had almost 300 people attend out Annual Walk and Awareness Event.

When I'm not working at my property management company  or with The SHARE Project, I enjoy traveling with my husband, Rick and spending time with my two grandsons, Elijah (8) and Wyatt (4).


Additional Links
The Share Project
A Mother's Pledge

Lisa grew up having a great family life with 3 brothers. She moved from Ohio to NC when she was twelve 12. She has two sons from first marriage and divorced after 9 years of marriage. Lisa raised her boys as a single mom and home schooled them until they entered high school. Their high school years were full of struggles, some normal, some not. Both boys started using drugs in their mid-teens. Sam (oldest son) escalated to IV drug use and meth. He was "in recovery" on MAT (Medically Assisted Treatment) for several years into his 20's where he relapsed. He found himself in and out of trouble. Ultimately, he overdosed and passed at the age of 27. Troy (youngest son) has been in and out of active drug use for over 10 years. Currently incarcerated. Lisa remarried in 2015 and currently works as a certified personal trainer. She is an independent small "business" owner and Co-founder of The SHARE Project, an awareness/support/educational organization with the goal of de-stigmatizing addiction so it is looked at as a treatable disorder.

My next episode includes a guest that made a new year's resolution to get sober and 4 years later, she is still sober. She talks with us about her journey into sobriety and how she did it. It wasn't the typical path, and it has shown to be successful for her. She writes openly about it in her blog titled "Wishes from the Bottom"

This was her first time speaking about and I am honored to have had her as a guest on this podcast. 

Pamela O’Leary is the Founder and CEO of Blossom Badass, an empowerment company. Previously, her background includes roles in management consulting, tech, the nonprofit sector and higher education, including work on Capitol Hill and at the United Nations.

You hear it all the time with people who have loved ones with substance abuse issues. The "Letting go". But what does that really mean. Sometimes we have a misconception on what "Letting Go" really means. It's more about letting go of our ideas of what should be or shouldn't be. This is what this podcast explores. 

Linda Sue Key is my next guest on the Unbreakable Boundaries Podcast. She is a Mother of a son who has been in his addiction for over 25 yrs. She worked for over 20 years as a substance abuse counselor, including working in a men's prison. Recently, she started a new ministry called "The Key to Recovery is a Mother's Love." She loves the Lord with all her heart and God has called her to help moms of addicted adult children overcome the chaos, confusion, and brokenness that substance abuse can bring by finding balance, compassion and hope through prayer, education, and support.

Facebook Group: Moms Helping Moms of Adult Children Struggling with Addiction
Email: [email protected]

When we go out to get support and our emotional needs met, we have to be careful and make sure we are going to people that can give us what we need. Some people just can't give you what you are asking for. Within that, we have to be clear about what we are asking for and who we are going to. Otherwise, we end up in a worse space going to the wrong people. 

The Exchange Principle is something I use to navigate a lot of my decisions when it comes time to help someone. I want to make sure I am helping, and that means I can't put more energy into something that the other person is willing to. When people ask for favors, help, or anything that involves putting my energy or money into the equation, I run through this thought process first. 

Creating unbreakable boundaries is really about honoring yourself and others. In this episode, Dr. Susan and I get into some really great conversations about creating awareness around the question that Dr. Susan loves to ask, "Why does this make sense?"  Having a loved one with substance abuse is complex, challenging, and it's important that we can honor ourselves and really see ourselves, hear ourselves and be willing to listen to ourselves.

About Dr. Susan
For over 35 years Dr. Susan has successfully worked in the field of psychological, emotional and relationship health in a variety of settings and roles. She has helped thousands of individuals and families to improve their relationships in all aspects of their lives and achieve their goals.  Dr. Susan is a therapist, international coach, professor, mentor and thought leader. In addition to regularly being quoted in the media, Dr. Susan is the producer and host of the television talk show Your Voice with Dr. Susan. 

To learn more go to drsusanbirnestone.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/susan-birne-stone-brooklyn-ny/300230

or contact her at [email protected]

In this episode, I go through some different things I look for when I sit down at a computer and look into a rehab. This is just to start narrowing down all the different options you have.
*How long have they been open
*How many people per room
*Family Program
*Detox management
*Holistic Approach
*Accreditations
*Rehab story

Reach out and ask more questions: www.maneelyconsulting.com
Email: [email protected]