The Unwritable Rant

Juliette watches her house fall apart, objects to bandages, takes matters into her hands, lacks qualifications, has an Edgar Allen Poe moment, unleashes a furry flash, bickers over a toilet weapon, questions her guy's sanity, hums a lullaby, attempts to snatch a box, plays the sheriff, and preens in a rare moment… all while drinking Driftless Glen single barrel straight rye whiskey.

Juliette tells the big story, hits a turning point, meets The Professor, visits a bird's nest, reads The Fountainhead, answers a provocative question, pulls away, decides on nothing, confronts dismissal, commits to seduction, and accepts her opinion… all while promising to have bourbon next week.

Juliette questions a PhD, eavesdrops on an argument, considers fairness, risks flying, hits a ramp, breaks more than a bone, relates rumors about a yellow house, crashes a no-play zone, meets Evel Knievel, offers up an arm, and accepts the consequences… all while drinking New Riff Kentucky Straight Rye Whiskey.

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Juliette recovers a mix tape, forms a trio with Duck and Ham, meets a Patrick Swayze doppelganger, goes for a walk, gets too criminal for comfort, checks off a sexual to-do, makes a getaway, contemplates intervention, finds what she lost, feels vibration, stares down the tracks, takes a stand for friendship, and has the time of her life… All while drinking Bardstown Bourbon Company Fusion Series #1 - Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey.

On this episode, Juliette enters a weird void, accepts a bribe, wants an unrealistic college experience, forces a flat, casts an underhanded spell on Ajax, plays the friend card, pretends to be an it girl, edges out a sorority girl, becomes a target, ends up wet, gets stuck without escape, and understands villainy… all while drinking Old Forrester 1920 Prohibition style Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey.

Juliette returns from New Orleans, finds the road to an ex, introduces Tadpole, gets avoided, has her soap replaced, meets mom, considers a twin, violates a home, accepts a dinner offer, meets up with a tour, outs a complex, waits in line, and stresses the importance of manners... all while drinking Uncle Nearest 1856 premium aged Tennessee whiskey.

Juliette misses MTV, auditions for an infomercial, sucks back disappointment, hopes for a springboard, confuses buzzwords with red flags, wears a dirty shirt, questions dog food, gets thrust at the camera, sidesteps a mess, lacks a handbook, refuses to take the blame, confronts the preternatural, and resigns from ridiculousness... All while drinking TX Blended Whiskey.

Juliette notices a trend, gives girls a try, abandons personals, finds Candy and more, feels like a predator, drops words, does it inside a lava lamp, escapes the pink, is unprepared for reality, laments small town closeness, hides behind a menu, accepts advice from Texas, and gets her fill of red sauce... all while drinking Barrell Bourbon Batch 20.

Juliette considers a move, has nothing to show for herself, wants a fresh start, accepts an offer from The Linebacker, overlooks untied shoelaces, refuses to impose, goes to annoyingly efficient lengths, questions load-up, bellies up to a bumper, defends box content, changes lanes, bursts a word cloud, nudges a trailer, goes hillbilly crazy, and pays for a reboot... all while drinking Evan Williams Master Blend bourbon.

Juliette visits Las Vegas with her guy, appreciates friendship, speedballs absinthe and whiskey, visits the casino of the damned, loses on lightning, knows nothing about craps, considers chips, watches a room breathe, ups her nudging, urges cashing out, makes unfortunate eye contact, gets hustled, channels Sharon Stone, and makes her move…. All while drinking Wigle Pennsylvania Bourbon.