Plus: disgraced Spanish FA chief Luis Rubiales is egged by his uncle, the Serbian WAG who’s dad was a warlord, and our man Down Under gives us the inside scoop on Ashes Eve.

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Links from the pod:

ESPN Brazil commentary of Troy Parrott’s winner: https://x.com/ballsdotie/status/1990315434797875497 

Kevin Doyle in RTE studio: https://www.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/1oyuman/the_rte_studio_after_parrott_scored 

Barmy Army awful song: https://www.instagram.com/p/DQQ9RevDGnz/?hl=en 

Luis Rubiales gettin’ egged: https://x.com/MenInBlazers/status/1989139463587639324 

Luis Rubiales uncle pic: https://www.instagram.com/p/BzH6x_vFUi6/?hl=en 

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Matt Le Tissier’s empire of filth has been shut down by the cops. 

And he’ll never trust the establishment again.

But his battles with the state and its puppets are just getting started.

In part 2, Matt hooks up with Goldilocks at a pantomime, feuds with Glen Hoddle and Gary Lineker, and uncovers the sinister plot to control the weather…

Links from the pod: 

Valley Slags: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixXIosCrCLY

Calling out Ian Wright on GB News: https://x.com/beardedgenius/status/1634290810115039233

Withdraws consent to be governed: https://x.com/mattletiss7/status/1679913916313239569

Looking at Rishi Sunak in DISGUST: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GCm3ZX2WMAA_hFr.jpg

Livestream with numerologist: https://x.com/Nullen80/status/1780210491878465642

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Plus: Infantino makes a tit of himself again, and departing gaffer Rob Edwards is thrown out of Middlesbrough by security

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Links from the pod:

Mascots minute silence: https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624 https://x.com/MascotSilence/status/1193140302946586624

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the 1990s, Matt Le Tissier was the ultimate cult hero.

A Malibu-swigging everyman with magic feet, he ran a strip club, got headbutted on dancefloors and guzzled KFC buckets every night.

But then things got a bit weird.

In his second act, Le Tiss warn against communist takeovers, accused Boris Johnson of controlling the weather, and withdrew his consent to be governed.

This is his story…

Links from the pod:

Amazing goal vs Blackburn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cx59N1wHcs 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Plus: Wesley Fofana gets 47 points on his licence and the Spurs star held at gunpoint by his agent.

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Links from the pod:

Wesley Fofana speeding: https://x.com/search?q=fofana%20driving&src=typed_query

Zenit midfielder attempted kidnapping: https://x.com/Buckarobanza/status/1982730247402586248 

Divas del futbol: https://www.instagram.com/divasdelfutboloficial/ 

Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the blundering mayhem of Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot… 

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Silvio Berlusconi is the all powerful King of Italy, and behind the scenes, he’s up to some very, very seedy antics.

He dresses escorts as Barack Obama, lures George Clooney into his lair, and is rocked by an ungodly number of sex scandals.

Links from the episode:

Christmas party speech: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668281158889603072 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the pod: The midfielder who stole the second most famous painting in the world, and an Aussie Surfer’s despicable deed outrages India.

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Links from the pod:

Louvre heist detective: https://share.google/images/twil1XYbeD1bwkILY 

Vitor Pereira arguing with Wolves fans: https://x.com/footbalIfights/status/1982763178967933114 

And dancing with them in Wetherspoons last season: https://x.com/wwfcscott/status/1911520510636380545? 

Jose Sa confrontation in the car park: https://x.com/_AlwaysWolves/status/1982577368486293639 

Jorginho fishy pants prank: https://www.instagram.com/p/DQLGe0sjCfF/?hl=en 

Surfer (not) pooing in sacred lake: https://www.instagram.com/p/DPsMXGjk20o/?hl=en 

Trump and Erdogan: https://x.com/Acyn/status/1971239367172817119 

Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the clucking mad story of Colonel Sanders. He’s finger lickin’ baaad…..

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Milan, 1986. Italian billionaire Silvio Berlusconi lands on the San Siro pitch in a helicopter blasting Ride of the Valkyries.

He leads AC Milan to two decades of glory, but behind the suntan and scudettos lurks an empire of sleaze.

Silvio scrapped with Liverpool fans, lured the EU president to a sex party and branded the German chancellor an “unfuckable lardarse”.

And he was still elected Prime Minister three times.

From mafia henchmen to bunga bunga sex parties, welcome to the seedy world of Silvio Berlusconi…

Listen to part two RIGHT NOW, and get an extra bonus episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the episode:

Ogling Danish PM at an EU summit: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1668280950852145152 

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Plus: Pierluigi Collina strips his fellow refs naked, the man with a Man United crest tattooed on his forehead, and is Tom Daly a bastard?

Links from the pod:

Fergie and Kenny Dalglish sharing a bag of chocolate buttons: https://x.com/SkySportsPL/status/1979949849542828491 

Man Utd fan tattoo: https://share.google/images/yLW19WTsvKd1mGNZA 

Pep with autograph hunters: https://x.com/City_Chief/status/1878532555911115241 

Join The Upshot’s Patreon and unlock the clucking mad story of Colonel Sanders. He’s finger lickin’ baaad…..

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These days, Wrexham Football Club is a saccharine Disney+ fairytale starring white toothed Hollywood megastars.

But there was a time when the club’s biggest hero was a champagne swigging convict with a thirst for beauty queens and fake bank notes.

His name was Mickey Thomas.

From seshes with George Michael to screwdrivers up the aris, this is the story of the Welsh George Best…

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Links from the episode:

Screamer free kick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPyoWu0CHAg 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.