Join us as we dish out the only gongs more worthless than Fifa’s peace prize.

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Lamine Yamal party: https://x.com/JackMacCFB/status/1944719886992744913

Emmanuel Petit announces Pat Rice’s death: https://x.com/AlleyMatty/status/1881478083313906032 

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From Jerry Springer’s threesomes to infiltrating the Taliban, this is the story of The Fake Sheikh…

Mazher Mahmood has been caught out using the claims of a serial fantasist to flog a bollocks story about Posh Spice being kidnapped.

And his downfall has only just begun…

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Plus: Samuel Eto’o’s AFCON meltdown and a knife-wielding Sunderland striker.

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

We’re hiring! Apply for the role as The Upshot’s new video producer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-video-producer-36e9 

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot 

Join The Upshot’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers  

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Kolkata riot: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1plfmgo/ani_fans_at_salt_lake_stadium_got_angry_with_the

Statue unveiling: https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/12/12/12/104672397-15377981-image-a-45_1765543002051.jpg

Hola Messi fanzone: https://assets.telegraphindia.com/telegraph/2025/Dec/1765375010_hola-messi-1.gif

Suarez nutmeg: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1pmfjzm/suarez_got_nutmegged_by_a_teen_indian_girl/?utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=i-see-a-snake&_bhlid=16c820a8f979cb6080947e9b36af165b189dceb7

Nitin Kumar walking out: https://www.tiktok.com/@thedarter88/video/7583727677526396193 

Killing the Ally Pally wasp: https://x.com/MarkWilsonRadio/status/2000235018254459016 
Cameron Menzies meltdown: https://x.com/_shaunmiller_/status/2000578781082251448

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Dubai, 2006. Sven Goran Eriksson sips Dom Perignon with an Arabian prince on the deck of a 70ft superyacht.

But Sven’s white-robed companion is no oil-rich Emir: it’s the Fake Sheikh.

For three devious decades, the tabloid hack lived life undercover, exposing everyone from murderous GPs to Mick Jagger.

From Jerry Springer’s threesomes to infiltrating the Taliban, this is the story of The Fake Sheikh…

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re hiring! Apply for the role as The Upshot’s new video producer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-video-producer-36e9 

Plus: England’s Ashes flops are throwing cash at Aussie children and why 70s hit YMCA is NOT a gay song

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Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

Join The Upshot’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Rio Ferdinand’s awful banter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P03LgqfQ4BA 

Conor McGregor teaching Mike Tyson to box: https://x.com/HappyPunch/status/1997749158711894184

And looking coked off his nut: https://x.com/GeneralBohs/status/1997793388016636392 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Britain already has a royal family.

But if the entire Windsor bloodline is ever wiped out in a freak yachting accident, there’s a ready made replacement.

The Beckhams.

For two glorious decades, Victoria, David and their offspring have ruled the worlds of music, sport and bacon sandwich making.

From shagging on trains to necking cups of bleach, this is the story of the other Beckhams…

Watch Finlay Christie’s stand up special, Aura Farmer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oQiTfnFNUQ 

Links from the pod: 

Brooklyn’s bacon sandwich on NBC: https://metro.co.uk/video/brooklyn-beckham-cooks-english-breakfast-sandwich-2518705/ 

Cruz’s music: https://wwsw.tiktok.com/@cruzbeckham/video/7452826349779160352 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: 

https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

Plus: The BBC colleague who drove Wayne Rooney to get the snip and Jamie Redknapp’s secret alter ego for picking up girls

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot 

Links from the pod:

Troy Parrott’s missed panenka: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1paoohe/troy_parrott_penalty_miss_vs_twente_908_at_10/ 

Vietnam’s intervision entry: https://youtu.be/EIqntldQyE0?si=9MEw4Wzb-2sQyVK2&t=61 

Wayne Rooney on Mr Tumble: https://youtu.be/Ad2w_WgZhB8?si=GblGv5FHHWpBpLRC&t=159 

In case you don’t know Mr Tumble: https://youtu.be/jMwbHIQRVME?si=bCyD1r1CvFphHXCX&t=300 

Paul Chuckle’s gangster movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AHwNkf4_QI 

Gary Lineker in Mexico with his daughter-in-law: https://x.com/GaryLineker/status/1995172259494056379 

Ajax fans mental pyrotechnics: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRss_VCkrDm 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The name Kevin Keegan should conjure images of glittering European nights, mazy dribbles and Balon d’Or wins.

But for most people, football’s unluckiest icon is remembered for four words: I WOULD LOVE IT.

And he’s had plenty of bad luck.

He was beaten up by drug dealers, discovered Father Christmas’ lifeless corpse, and got shot in the face with a bow and arrow.

From undercover gigolos to getting banged up in Serbia, this is his story…

Links from the pod: 

Green Cross code ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE8Lk2kSCDo

Scoring in FA Cup final: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=gagQcslGM0t59KHN&t=223&v=xFY67LtZn-0&feature=youtu.be

His hit single: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJdW7-MnXtc&t=21s

I would love it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=ip99jIR-GKnNQwij&t=5&v=mk87a7r0V60&feature=youtu.be

Will he score: http://www.youtube.com/watch?si=1-R7l9C-zzx9NIfq&t=9&v=k6Bupc_sE4g&feature=youtu.be

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: 

https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

(Tickets go on sale 10am Thursday)

Plus: John Terry fights to free Britain’s most notorious prisoner, Newcastle fans shagging in the Marseille toilets, The Olympic Star whose lawyer advised him to murder a witness.

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Links from the pod:

Dennis Wise video for Charles Bronson: https://www.instagram.com/p/DRKU6KPjIM4/ 

And Razor Ruddock’s: https://www.tiktok.com/@freecharlesbronson/video/7533271684023930134

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Malmo, Sweden. A 6ft 5 arsonist speeds away from a burning hot dog stand in a rented Lexus.

Little do the cops know, the mystery bomber is playing in the Champions League on Tuesday night.

It’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the cocksure striker with a criminal streak.

From robbing the manager to terrorising randy priests, this is his story…

Follow Joel on Insta: www.instagram.com/joelgolby

And buy his book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Four-Stars-Britains-best-loved-journalists

Links from the pod: 

Stopped by police: https://www.pppress.se/wp-content/uploads/2001/PPIBRAHIM1-20010103/PPIBRAHIM1-20010103.jpg

Goal against Netherlands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2WsVHbD7zg

Overhead kick against England: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM_5tJncHww

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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