5.12am. Former TV presenter Jake Humphrey glugs down a tumbler of activated charcoal water.

Wondering why his wife is wasting the day, he shakes her awake and asks: “what are your goals for Q4?”

It’s just another day in a High Performance Household.

But how did it come to this?

From gunging kids to grindset guru, this is the story of Linkedin’s favourite son… 

With Jake and Jacob from @screenrotpodcast

Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the pod:

Jake hosting Bamzooki: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS95gzb6dP4 

Misjudged joke at David James: https://x.com/uksoccershop/status/1667865096062730246 

David Ginola does the wanker sign: https://x.com/uksoccershop/status/1667864901568610307 

Dig at Martin Keown for being late: https://x.com/uksoccershop/status/1667864959059992576

Twitter post telling people to leave their partners: https://x.com/AccidentalP/status/1661379860692885509 

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On the pod today: the sinister crime linked to Viktor Gyokeres’ Arsenal move and an ex-Barca star’s hospital gun rampage.

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot 

Watch our new Roy Keane YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A73Br-LWGmE

George's new football pod (First Up: Football): https://podfollow.com/first-up-football/view

Links from the pod:

Arda Turan avoiding eye contact with presenter: https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/36275231/arda-turan-shakhtar-donetsk-reporter/ 

Arda Turan with a gun in the hospital: https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1638156253112197120 

Jannik Sinner’s thicc booty: https://x.com/bblsinner 

From Muhammad Ali’s brush with a flying saucer to the Brazilian farmer who knobbed a hot alien on a spaceship, embark on an intergalactic journey through the wildest UFO sightings when you join our Patreon.

https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

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The good people of Sunderland have been through a lot. Viking raids. The rise of Korean shipbuilding. Spunking £6m on Jozy Altidore.

But nothing could prepare them for the last decade.

The club sank to the third tier, enduring noncing wingers, stars behind bars, and fans defecating in their seats.

As the Black Cats return to the Premier League, this is the story of a Nightmare on Wearside…

With guest @georgeaireycomedy

Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the pod:

Newcastle fans’ song for Adam Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8WnH4aL1uY 

David Moyes to Vicki Sparks: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39484238 

Chris Coleman clashes with fan: https://x.com/Nozza_/status/1245235938298642432?lang=en-GB 

The poogate kid: https://images.app.goo.gl/wiTEPjwqQBL6mCEV6 

Charlie Methven on the pre-match music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4bORXW9xeU&t=33s 

Kid throwing up: https://www.tiktok.com/@twitterstoptweets/video/7504026548593233175

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Evel Kneivel is staring into the abyss, can he pull off an insane mile long jump, or will he die trying?

Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the pod:

Eiffel Tower death jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBN3xfGrx_U&rco=1 

Snake River jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1khN1xyBw&t=141s 

Wembley Stadium jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofVI3NZb9DQ 

Successful 15 car jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOE2Xie5g8E 

Pizza advert in the 90s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UG-zUyjd_8

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On the pod today: Mauro Icardi’s gruesome origin story, the club legend who conned his pals out of thousands, and we meet the man refusing to cut his hair until Man Utd win five games in a row.

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Follow The United Strand on Instagram @theunitedstrand

Roll back the clock to 2005 for a ride through the year’s biggest sporting scandals - from Gazza’s disastrous stint in the dugout to Pep Guardiola’s seven month jail sentence - when you join our Patreon…

https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Bottom set maths player names video: https://www.tiktok.com/@mdgamingofficial1/video/7416666341656087841 

Rasmus Højlund Manc accent: https://www.facebook.com/100063540582139/videos/that-accent-from-rasmus-h%C3%B8jlund-/1151192073466604/ 

Ibiza final boss dwarf:  https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/36233306/jack-kay-ibiza-party-bikini-girls/ 

Tom Brady’s brainwave to improve the US national team: https://x.com/FCBFanatic_/status/1952152796423242189

LA politician talking to Son: https://x.com/JoserNunez91/status/1953232504485294567 

DJ Carey with an iPhone charger up his nose: https://images.app.goo.gl/5kNsV23wJ6EqdWB99 

Kevin Stewart on hayfever: https://www.instagram.com/p/DMdd-NxoWvy/

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Evel Kneivel is battered, bruised and mildly addicted to prostitutes. But he’s about to become America’s most notorious daredevil.

And with that come more scandals, broken bones and chaos than anyone else could take…

Get part 3 RIGHT NOW when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the pod:

15 car jump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOE2Xie5g8E

Caesar’s Palace jump: https://youtu.be/XX2XUESyXsI?si=s7BX0d5TcfcXsf2m&t=66

Posing with his cane: https://newmediawire.s3.amazonaws.com/5894fed487f163000b42c295_1

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On the show today: Star signings sacked for shoplifting, Luke Littler fails his driving test and Kevin Pietersen’s hotel humiliation

And you can get our special on the history of daredevils - from cats in parachutes to the first human cannonball - when you join our Patreon…

https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Cricket fans scrolling escort site: https://x.com/UB1UB2/status/1949471775760212444 

Firefighter floods baseball pitch: https://x.com/GrimesZane8/status/1946006513052418093 

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Snake River Canyon, Idaho 1973.

A baying mob of drunken biker gangs and bloodthirsty thrill-seekers watch on, as a lunatic in a star spangled jumpsuit is strapped to a military rocket.

And that was just an ordinary day for America’s most notorious daredevil.

He bunked up with Charles Manson, spunked $20m on chinchilla fur coats and smashed the world record for broken bones.

From month-long comas to robbing banks with dynamite, buckle in for the unhinged tale of Evel Kneivel.

Do not try this at home…

Listen to parts 2 and 3 RIGHT NOW when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

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Get 20% off delicious hot sauces at Lou’s Brews: use code UPSHOT20 and visit www.lousbrews.co.uk.

Welcome back to Extra Shot, coming to you, for no particular reason, from the banks of the River Thames.

We’ve got our rods in the water, our tackle is out and we’re spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.

On the show today: Marinakis makes Morgan Gibbs White an offer he can’t refuse, Michael van Gerwen hits the rave and Donald Trump caught cheating at golf AGAIN.

And you can get our full special on fishing’s biggest scandals - from aquarium heists to quaalude-induced murder - when you join our Patreon…

www.patreon.com/upshottowers?utm_source=shownotes 

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Michael van Gerwen at Tomorrowland: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMlePGtC_W6/?igsh=MXJzaHNjbXI2cHF3 

Morgan Gibbs White announcement: 

https://x.com/SkySportsPL/status/1949445138935148554 

Trump cheating at golf: https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/1mav0d7/trump_caught_cheating_at_golf_with_his_caddies/

Goldfinger golf scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTBvu-fTTIk&t=205s

Medvedev smashing water: https://www.skysports.com/tennis/video/30998/13401953/daniil-medvedev-booed-after-smashing-water-bottle-following-defeat-to-corentin-moutet 

Ballboy kills Sakkari’s bug: https://www.reddit.com/r/tennis/comments/1m7otgu/sakkari_saves_bug_ballboy_kills_it_seconds_later 

Angry mob encircles cheating fishermen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFnByQCDjz0&ab_channel=KBBOutdoors

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After the 2005 Ashes, Kevin Pietersen was a national hero. 

But with fame comes scrutiny from the tabloids, and KP’s about to fall victim to a kiss and tell.

And after that, the scandals come thick and fast.

Get an extra episode of The Upshot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

Links from the pod:

Allen Stanford flirting with players’ wives: https://youtu.be/11xMyxU8e9E?si=lLhl55twyeSgMSys&t=26 

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