They say you have to be mad to be a goalkeeper.

And nobody is more batshit crazy than Lutz Pfannenstiel, the German stopper who played for 25 clubs on 6 continents.

He kidnapped penguins, threatened to knock out Take That and spent 101 days in a grisly Singapore slammer.

From fighting off murderers to dying three times on the pitch, meet Lutz Pfannenstiel: you’re going to like him… 

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In September 2024 the world was a very different place. 

Sleepy Joe was in the White House, The United Strand had a short back and sides, and Ruben Amorim was the most vaunted young coach in Europe.

But 14 months on, United’s latest saviour left a familiar mess in his wake: seething fans, mutinous players and Gary Neville harping on about the Club’s DNA.

From naked fans to nightmares in Grimsby, this is the story of the Worst Manchester United team in history…

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Day one for United Strand: https://www.instagram.com/p/DAx2tTEISrB/

Gary Cotterill demands Ruben speaks English: https://x.com/Footballtweet/status/1853503399402393680

Ed Sheeran gatecrashes his interview: https://x.com/AshMeppers/status/1860759173715071084

Naked fan in Bilbao: https://x.com/turkishphysio/status/1925514123195957743

Sad open top bus parade: https://www.tiktok.com/@livescore/video/7509524698829425942?lang=en 

Ruben dancing his way out: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1q4s4oq/amorim_daps_up_a_paparazzo_after_leaving_his/

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Keep listening to Extra Shot every week by joining The Upshot’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers  

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot 

Links from the pod:

Rio Ferdinand on Solksjaer: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bzNNy6gf-2k 

Brendon McCullum doing the crossword: https://x.com/CricketSangrah/status/2007677153513738741 

Ashes commentator fuck up: https://x.com/MonsieurJudge/status/2008787604754636947 

Ugandan president grilling the players: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DO8MljIgDw5/ 

Congolese AFCON fans: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTIjUONjbai/?img_index=1 

Pep on weighing his players: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cm20dd4md8qo 

Michael Owen ranks his Christmas dinner: https://www.instagram.com/p/DSakKS7AA_u 

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From pornstar girlfriends to birthday cakes delivered by concorde, buckle in for African football’s maddest moments…

Follow Moses: @mosesduckrell

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Mbutu leopard outfit: https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/bfgp2w0COKqnrhqELPl0dfTfPDri3ZCn8oRsqNsGdNdKEHEGoi_rUilHZr0eMCOn-mVp6Bl4hoa-t9cSSfJ1Pt6Mmv7SUEWnJaP41QjKlemJB8S6dSKHNn5jf94

Zaire defender boots ball away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDXkVGpMpc

Man blocks camera: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/piza3e/during_ugandamali_match_in_african_wcq_person_was/ 

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The Rope and Anchor, 2013.

The pub’s 53-year-old darts champion gulps as his opponent puts down his PSP and step up to the oche.

It’s Luke Littler, the six year old sensation whose rise to the top has just begun.

From splurging prize money on vapes to chirpsing girls on Xbox live, this is the story of darts’ first wonderkid…

Links from the pod:

Luke playing at 18 months old: https://x.com/JumbleBag/status/1748617919368499612 

Crowd singing “you’ve got school in the morning”: https://www.skysports.com/darts/video/12288/13035515/school-in-the-morning-16-year-old-luke-littler-loves-crowd-chant 

Michael van Gerwen aged 17: https://share.google/H8BENZ9THwVUf4OqA 

Rival’s post match interview: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=845583344145998 

“Nah chill begging it”: https://x.com/AFC_Iddy/status/1916919883578647002

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Join us as we dish out the only gongs more worthless than Fifa’s peace prize.

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Lamine Yamal party: https://x.com/JackMacCFB/status/1944719886992744913

Emmanuel Petit announces Pat Rice’s death: https://x.com/AlleyMatty/status/1881478083313906032 

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From Jerry Springer’s threesomes to infiltrating the Taliban, this is the story of The Fake Sheikh…

Mazher Mahmood has been caught out using the claims of a serial fantasist to flog a bollocks story about Posh Spice being kidnapped.

And his downfall has only just begun…

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Plus: Samuel Eto’o’s AFCON meltdown and a knife-wielding Sunderland striker.

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

We’re hiring! Apply for the role as The Upshot’s new video producer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-video-producer-36e9 

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot 

Join The Upshot’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers  

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Kolkata riot: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1plfmgo/ani_fans_at_salt_lake_stadium_got_angry_with_the

Statue unveiling: https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/12/12/12/104672397-15377981-image-a-45_1765543002051.jpg

Hola Messi fanzone: https://assets.telegraphindia.com/telegraph/2025/Dec/1765375010_hola-messi-1.gif

Suarez nutmeg: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1pmfjzm/suarez_got_nutmegged_by_a_teen_indian_girl/?utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=i-see-a-snake&_bhlid=16c820a8f979cb6080947e9b36af165b189dceb7

Nitin Kumar walking out: https://www.tiktok.com/@thedarter88/video/7583727677526396193 

Killing the Ally Pally wasp: https://x.com/MarkWilsonRadio/status/2000235018254459016 
Cameron Menzies meltdown: https://x.com/_shaunmiller_/status/2000578781082251448

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Dubai, 2006. Sven Goran Eriksson sips Dom Perignon with an Arabian prince on the deck of a 70ft superyacht.

But Sven’s white-robed companion is no oil-rich Emir: it’s the Fake Sheikh.

For three devious decades, the tabloid hack lived life undercover, exposing everyone from murderous GPs to Mick Jagger.

From Jerry Springer’s threesomes to infiltrating the Taliban, this is the story of The Fake Sheikh…

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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We’re hiring! Apply for the role as The Upshot’s new video producer: https://www.upshot.email/p/we-re-hiring-a-video-producer-36e9 

Plus: England’s Ashes flops are throwing cash at Aussie children and why 70s hit YMCA is NOT a gay song

EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/upshot Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee 🌐

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

Join The Upshot’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers 

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Links from the pod:

Rio Ferdinand’s awful banter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P03LgqfQ4BA 

Conor McGregor teaching Mike Tyson to box: https://x.com/HappyPunch/status/1997749158711894184

And looking coked off his nut: https://x.com/GeneralBohs/status/1997793388016636392 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices