The Useless Majors

It's Laundry Day at the Duke Household!

Laundry day has always been a very dangerous day, but especially so when you find Senator Kaufman's evil master plans in his pants! Betty Duke will have to stop these plots, and proceed with much trepidation and tactful caution....

..or send her senile husband to do it. Cuz, ya know, everyone's got chores!

Will Betty's counter-measures stop Kaufman in his tracks? Or is the World, as usual, doomed?

Ya better listen up, I reckon! Enjoy!

#uselessmajorspodcast

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Fear not, impatient listeners! Episode 7 is here!

The Evil machinations of Senator Kaufman have plagued the Good Misters of the 26 Chambers with past failures and embarassments they hoped to forget, and one such relic has shut down operations at M.Co for the day.

You know what that means...... DAY OFF FOR ZWAYNE! What shall he do? Save the World, or veg out?

I guess we'll see what happens when our hero Zwayne joins Patrick, Manny, and 'Macho Man' Teddy Roosevelt in a little day-off merriment, and lot of stuff with Goats!

Clandestination: Marbleton Zoo!  Agenda: Turtles! (And maybe some margaritas)

Meanwhile, at the Mall, David is set to start training Sheena on concessions, but Sheena has other plans.... that may or may not (but totally do) involve texting with her BFF Honey, David's girlfriend. Bum bum BUMM! 

How will David proceed?! Wisely, one hopes! He doesn't want to look like a total Hamcat here!

Enjoy, foolish masses!

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The Useless Majors podcast was written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash.

Starring Jon Kirner, Anna Drehmer, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. 

Guest Starring: Joe Roeder as Patrick McDonald and Blind Customer, Jon Booker as Marlin Perkins and Other Bill, Gaela Jenks as Sheena, the High-School Wee-Yach, and Kay Dolores as the Chalupacabra.

Music in this episode by Miles Jenks.

Opening theme 'No $$$ Left' by The Virgin Scare. Closing theme remix by Tristan Williams.

You can follow the Useless Majors on Social Media! (And we'd love it if you did!)

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twitter @uselessmajors

www.uselessmajors.com 

#uselessmajorspodcast

And, as always, please rate and review! (Especially on iTunes)

It's Tuesday, August 4th, and there's STILL no new episode! So here's a Show Runners' Discussion in which we (kinda) explain why. There's spooky sound effects! and dogs! and (brief) discussion of bowel movements (or lack there of). 

Thanks for stickin' with us, we'll talk to you again real, real soon! We promise!

- Jordan and Miles

There's no question that it's debating time!

Beaming with confidence, President Jello Biafra gets ready to square off in the Ovaled office against Thomas Duke and Senator Kaufman in a no-words barred ('cept the cursy-bad ones) debate-battle to protect his pride! 

But is it really going to be the easy win he anticipates?

We've got Ira Gl***, Broad Daylight and Spaghetti the Clown here to give you the play-by-play and some colorful commentary!

Grab the blindfolds and shut it!

Here is The Duke vs. Biafra debate!

The Useless Majors are back from summer break to bring you Episode 6: "Blowback to School" or "Debating the Hook"

We pick up the action 6 months after the events of episode 5.2. Benjamin Franklin is at the end of his ghostly rope with Zwayne, who has made no progress in decoding his father's cryptic message about the fate of the world. 

Thomas Duke, AKA the Villianous Alpha-Bat, has been encouraged by the mysterious senator Kaufman to run for Presidant on a platform of Evil Rights. This can't be good. Literally... because they're evil. 

Back at the Pebble Forest Cinema, the turnover rate continues to grow, Manuel badly needs a nap, and nobody seem particularly concerned with the dubious future of the world. 

Will Zwayne get off his butt? Will Thomas Duke take to politics? Will anyone at the theater care about any of it?

It's time to find out! 

The Useless Majors Podcast stars Anna Drehmer, Jonathan Kirner, Jay Bonzano, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks.

Guest starring Joe Roe as Presidant Jello Biafra, Sean McDaniel as Senator Kaufman, Gaela Jenks as Sheena the Highschool Wee-yach and Other Guy 1, and Kay Dolores as The Chalupacabra 

Theme song by The Virgin Scare, end theme remix by Tristan Williams. 

You can hear other work by Tristan Williams as Blaster Master at https://soundcloud.com/blastamasta

Spike and the Other Guys' music courtesy of Stinkbomb. 

You can follow Stinkbomb on facebook, or visit their website www.totallywastedonpunk.com for tour dates, cds/ merch, and crazy third thing!

Find us online at

www.uselessmajors.com

Facebook.com/uselessmajors

twitter.com @uselessmajors

Hope you love the show! Please Rate and Review!

The contents of Frank Smith’s mystery tape are FINALLY REVEALED! 
What does it all mean for the future of Marbleton, and THE WORLD? find out on Memorial Day, 2015, when The Useless Majors returns with the first of 5 new episodes!

In this final bit of silliness before the midseason break truely begins, Jordan and Miles discuss the show as it is so far, and the great things to come during the rest of the season!

The future cast additions! Theme songs! Third thing!

And what it'd be like if Liam Neeson played Randall 'The Duke' Duke....

Hear teasers, laughs, and burps a-plenty!

Enjoy, folks!

Follow us on social media! On facebook at Facebook.com/uselessmajors, tumblr at uselessmajors.tumblr.com, and twitter @uselessmajors!

Please rate and review!

The Useless Majors Podcast is written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks, and starring Jonathan Kirner, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash.

Guest starring Anna Drehmer as Jane Raine-Smith, Cara McHugh as Emily White, and Sean McDaniel as Senator Kaufman.

Music in this episode: 'The Heart Train' by Jordan Starcrash and Miles Jenks, and 'Don't Ever Find Me' by Dubb Nubb.

Enjoy the midseason finale of The Useless Majors Podcast!

The feels are huge in this one, cats and kittens! And drama is abound!

At M.Co, our down-trodden CEO Bill Roberts *ahem*, I mean Mr. M, has finally had enough of Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat, and with suggestions from Mr. V and Hartog Hamburger, begins to consider an exit strategy from The 26 Chambers. 

But amdist this, his head of PR, Jane Rain-Smith, receives as mysterious package, opening both old and fresh wounds.

Can she keep it a secret from her son Zwayne for very long?! Not if we have anything to say about it!

And our heroes? What about them?! We need them to have a show!

Anne and Manny are left on their own at the theatre with B.R.E., with everyone else going to Patrick's gig, and must struggle to keep up with the oh-so very demanding job of being concessionist, lest they concede to being replaced with machines!

Luckily, a face from their extremely recent past shows up as their saviour!

And lastly, Patrick's gig!

We have finally arrived to Patrick's gig, where he is more-or-less ready to perform the song he wrote with his 'grandpa.' But David isn't making this any easier, and his selfish attitude has finally got Patrick to the breaking point.

Is this the end of their friendship?! Doubtful! But listen, it might be! *Zap*

Get onboard The Heart Train! Choo! Choo!

Follow Dubb Nubb online at Facebook.com/dubbnubb, and on bandcamp at dubbnubb.bandcamp.com!

Follow The Useless Majors on social media: Facebook at Facebook.com/uselessmajors, Tumblr at uselessmajors.tumblr.com, and on Twitter @uselessmajors!

The Useless Majors was created by Jordan Starcrash.

Please rate and review always!

This is the Return of the Fly on the Wall!

Let's return to the Duke household for another family dinner!

This time, Thomas Duke, AKA the Villainous Alpha-Bat, is still grounded to his rock-shelter room while his mother and father sit down to a pleasant meal with their loyal butler Alfredo, and his brother Linguini.

Spaghetti is absent, not shockingly, so they try to make the best of the situation with some wine, some dino-nuggets, and more than a few surprises.

Guess what is coming to Duke Family Dinner! YOU ARE!

Enjoy!

Like us on facebook at facebook.com/uselessmajors, and follow on social media, twitter @uselessmajors and tumblr at uselessmajors.tumblr.com!

The Useless Majors Podcast is written, recorded, and edited in St. Louis, MO by Miles Jenks and Jordan Starcrash, and created by Jordan Starcrash.

Starring Jonathan Kirner, Samuel Rupe-Smith, Jay Bonzano, Miles Jenks, and Jordan Starcrash. Guest starring Cara McHugh as Emily White.

The day after the 26 Chambers' Business Conference of Evil, the fall-out is extraordinary; activists clog the parking lot at the Pebble Forest mall, protesting the threat of Evil in their community while praising Spaghetti the Clown for his role in creating the truce amongst Misters.

But what of the truce? How safe are any of the Misters? Or Thomas Duke, AKA The Villainous Alpha-Bat?

There is trouble a-brewin' in the rock-shelter as the Alpha-Bat tries unsuccessfully to reach Mr. M, only to have have a rude awakening when his father shows up to dole out punishments. Whuh-oh!

Is everyone in danger?!

Our heroes! Are they in danger? And how much? Do they even really understand anything that is happening? Probably not, there are more important things happening.

Like Patrick has his first music gig in a long time tonight!

David is being a real jerk to everyone while focusing his attention on some mystery girl!

And Anne and Manny are stuck with its newest employee: BRE, or Best Robotic Employee. Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway) they better step their efforts up, or be BREplaced by machines!

Bum Bum BUMMMMMMM!!! 

Like us on facebook at facebook.com/uselessmajors, and follow us on twitter @uselessmajors and on tumblr at uselessmajors.tumblr.com!