Cosplay Melee went straight to our heart as the person we were rooting for actually won! RuPaul’s Drag Race is just starting its season, so we don’t know if that’s happening yet. We had to make do with Lady Gaga being an amazing guest judge, and two of our three preseason favorites being in the top three. Masterchef Junior continued with the pie-in-the-face-level shenanigans, and Face Off featured two covens of witches. Be warned that this episode features more discussion of googly eyes than you may be used to.

Googly Eyes Are Essential

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

The winds of change are blowing, and they are bringing new shows. Monty and Rhias are very excited about Cosplay Melee, a show where people carve craft foam into armor. And about the upcoming season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, of course. But first they have to work through the finale of the Bachelor and the latest episodes of Face Off, My Big Fat Fabulous Life, and Masterchef Junior. Although they can’t really remember anything about that last one. Some kids cooked some food, maybe?

Cosplay Melee

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

The Bachelor limped toward its finale with three hours of programming, in which Bachelor Nick was featured as little as possible. Because what everyone really wants is lots more of Corinne, right? Riiiight? My Big Fat Fabulous Life continued to prepare for the big dance battle, even though no one seems that into the idea. Face Off had an animated puppet challenge that was fairly non-creepy as animated puppet challenges go. And Masterchef Junior turned into Hell’s Kitchen Junior for a week, which annoyed Monty.

Reunion Shows Are Awful

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

There’s this new show called Stranded With a Million Dollars, and we watched it. And hated it! We also cover The Bachelor (which went to Finland), Face Off (which went to Fury Road), My Big Fat Fabulous Life (which went to kiss-town), Masterchef Junior (which went to Monty’s last nerve with all the screaming), and checked in again with Hunted (which went to its season finale and will probably never come back).

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

The new show on the docket is Masterchef Junior, replacing Hunted, which was too boring to live. We also watched Tattoo Girls, but that’s not sticking around in our household. The Bachelor went to Hometowns and finally moved the focus off Nick. Face Off had Mad Scientists, but why were they all dudes? On My Big Fat Fabulous Life, it looks like someone’s about to get served. The Curse of Oak Island had a two-hour season finale spectacular in which some twisted metal was actually recovered. So that was something.

Masterchef Junior

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

Monty is trying to come up with a theme song. It doesn’t go well.

Hunted is on the bubble, as neither Monty nor Rhias can remember more than one thing that happened this week. More time is given to The Bachelor, which seems to be going off the rails in a way that the production staff probably didn’t intend. On The Curse of Oak Island, the discussion centers on wood and rocks. As usual. And Face Off turns into a magical winter wonderland.

Burpy Burpy Burp

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

The contestants for season 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race have been announced, and we did our research! Which means that we watched a bunch of performance videos, so now we’re experts. We might not know who’s going to win, but we know who our favorites are. We go through all the queens and explain their strengths and weaknesses in preparation for the new season. We also cover recent events on The Bachelor, Forged in Fire, Curse of Oak Island, Hunted, Face Off, and My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

Previewing the queens for S9 of RuPaul's Drag Race

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

We check in on the Bachelor, which is growing on us. Well, one of us. And then we dive into Hunted (in which normal citizens pretend to be hiding from cops) and Face Off (in which talented artists create cool monster makeup) before a brief update on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.

Hunted, Face Off, and checking in on other ongoing shows

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

After a very brief recap of “Curse of Oak Island,” we talk about how no one told us how crazy “The Bachelor” was. Then we dive into “Mythbusters: The Search,” which claims to be a search for new Mythbusters hosts, but is actually a terrible waste of time.

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

Mythbusters: The Search

The Curse of Oak Island: http://www.history.com/shows/the-curse-of-oak-island

The Bachelor: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor

Skin Wars: http://skinwars.gsntv.com/

RuPaul’s Drag Race: http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls-drag-race

Introducing The Villain Edit! We talk about reality show taxonomy, including why the two basic kinds of competitive reality show are basically “Survivor” and “Cupcake Wars.” Then we dive into a discussion of Forged in Fire, which is absolutely the best blacksmithing show on television.

Introductions!

Monty Ashley and Rhias Hall

Forged in Fire

Top Shot

BBQ Pitmasters

Window Warriors

Naked and Afraid

Monsters Inside Me

The Curse of Oak Island

Cupcake Wars

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Face Off