The Vine Donkey Kong Audio Programme

On part two of our epic sea-faring adventure, Alastair explores the mystery island he finds himself marooned on... but what is former DK Vine staffer Andrey doing there? Meanwhile, the rest of the crew of the S.S. Badass finds themselves adrift in all directions. Chad and Hyle explore homosexuality, cannibalism, and both Donkey Kong Country Returns and the Donkey Kong -centric issue of Retro Gamer.

Janell, now with the raft to herself, befriends two familiar parrots and subjects them to a Kremling-themed edition of The Jungle Shore. Jeremy, left behind on the pirate freighter, finds time for a trivia segment with DK Vine Forum member Rarewhere Lover and a (WHATEVER JEREMY'S REMIX IS). Meanwhile, our crew's (un)faithful antagonist, other former DK Vine staffer Aussie Ben, finds himself imprisoned by his own batshit insanity and Shigeru Miyamoto.

Just when you think things can't get any more absurd, the line between online serialized audio adventure and video game commentary gets blurred even more, leaving Janell with balls to the face.

Yeah, that's right.

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Chad McCanna

Special Thanks: Alastair Craig, Jeremy Thorn, Janell Gibbons, Ben Kosmina, Andrey Summers, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna, Jeremy Thorn, Alastair Craig

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

Donkey Kong Country Returns has been released. What does the cast of The Vine think of the entire reason for their program's creation? Whether they like it or not, it seems to have led to the collapse of their sanity. Because what starts as a normal episode, and another aborted attempt at an interview, leads to an oceanic journey across the seven seas.

Where to begin? There's a Roundtable PoDKCR-ast. Your ass is going to get schooled with the all-new Professor Slush's Continuity Corner. Court is in session with Great Moments In DKU Audio. We apply topical ointment to our crabs in the Obscure Character Showcase. Find out if Janell goes black and doesn't come back with Jay-nell Walking!

All this, and time shifts, abductions, Australians, and the craziest fucking internet radio adventure show you've ever heard...

...but WHO lurks in the shadows of the jungle?

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Chad McCanna

Special Thanks: Alastair Craig, Jeremy Thorn, Janell Gibbons, Ben Kosmina, Mrs. Thorn, Shiroi Kentrovsky, Moai Toshiki, Andrew Buchanan, Mushroomhead, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna, Alastair Craig

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

Hyle and Chad are hungering for Donkey Kong Country Returns, and to satiate their appetite they've camped out in front of Retro Studios in Austin, Texas in order to scam an interview. Will the two biggest Donkey Kong Country fans in the world get to make awkward fawning noises in front of those now responsible for the franchise? Maybe! In the meantime, they have a show to do!

Discussing the latest (non-spoilery) DKCR news, they also take the time to talk about Other DKU Games They're Playing (thrills!), have Ben Kosmina interject his opinions with Aussie Ben Aussie Sez (chills!), and invite Janell Gibbons to talk about parrots with an all-new Jungle Shore (spills?). Then, Jeremy Thorn rings us up for an all-out, good old-fashioned DK Vine BITCHFEST.

What do you mean this episode is too long? Go fuck yourself! We also have a Jeremy-hosted Trivia Contest with forum member Kaptain K. Siro and the world's second ever Kremlantis remix!

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Chad McCanna

Special Thanks: Jeremy Thorn, Janell Gibbons, Alastair Craig, Ben Kosmina, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

Darkness falls across the land

Donkey Kong Country Returns is soon at hand.

The Vine crew is back with an episode so good

It'll terrorize y'awl's neighborhood.

Live from Castle Bran in Transylvania

We've caught cable ghost hunting mania.

We'll stand and face the hounds from Hell

With Jeremy, Alastair, and Janell.

Talking 'bout the latest Donkey Kong Country Returns news

And giving Grabbed By The Ghoulies its due reviews.

The scariest Donkey Kong Universe moments will give you a fright

If Obscure DKU Character Count Batula doesn't give you his bite.

And though we contact the dead with Jay-nell Walking

Vlad the Impaler just may be stalking.

If none of this sounds interesting then please pay no mind

To the evil of The Vine.

(maniacal laughter)

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Chad McCanna

Special Thanks: Jeremy Thorn, Andrew Buchanan, Janell Gibbons, Alastair Craig, Ben Kosmina, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna, Jeremy Thorn

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

Alastair and Janell kick off this episode's proceedings, but yet another case of forced misidentification derails the show. Hyle awakens from his catatonic slumber and Chad rejoins the group just in time to discuss new screenshots and information about Donkey Kong Country Returns. Jeremy Thorn drops in to discuss his theories about the new game and update the group on What DKU Games He's Playing.

Jeremy delves into a carton of cigarettes, leaving Chad and Hyle to ponder Aussie Ben's latest Aussie Sez, and some classic rock references from Great Moments in DKU Audio. Janell phones back in to go over some of the less polite aspects of Dixie Kong's characterization in The Jungle Shore, followed up by an Obscure DKU Character Showcase on the bane of Banjo-Tooie, Ms. Canary Mary. Jeremy rejoins the group for a round of Trivia with forum member Karla, and the show is wrapped up with a sitar-fuelled trip down memory lane.

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Chad McCanna

Special Thanks: Jeremy Thorn, Janell Gibbons, Alastair Craig, Ben Kosmina, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

With Chad's immune system still being judged in Medical Limbo, Hyle is joined by a gaggle of cohorts for this very deranged episode. Both Jeremy Thorn and Olivia Newton-John stop by to discuss the newest Donkey Kong Country Returns trailer, as well as initiating a comparison between how Retro seems to be treating the series versus how Rare ran the show. Tell you more, tell you more? Well, sure!

Following a brief attempt by Hyle at running the show alone, Chad's lover Janell Gibbons stops by to provoke some irrational hostility in our beleaguered host with two new exciting segments: Jay-nell Walking and The Jungle Shore! Then, just as things seem to be smoothed over, a sing-along threatens to change the status quo of The Vine for at least the next two weeks. Yes, this is the one that has it all: Action! Females! Man-splosions!

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Janell Gibbons

Special Thanks: Alastair Craig, Jeremy Thorn, Ben Kosmina, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

It's just another ordinary episode of The Vine... or is it? Can you unravel the mind-blowing mystery of Chad McCanna before Hyle does? How fast can one man be driven to the brink of psychosis due to a sinister snowman's sonic assault? Remember the Stefan Urquelle story arc in Family Matters? Will your ears solve the aural riddles of the trivia master Jeremy Thorn before your brain explodes?

What spectacular secrets await you in this journey of Donkey Kong discussion? All will be revealed... NOW.

Hosts: Hyle Russell, Alastair Craig

Special Thanks: Ben Kosmina, Jeremy Thorn, Chad McCanna, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

After a whirlwind of criticisms from the first "Anniversary" show, Hyle and Chad are back to exact their revenge on Donkey Kong fans' eardrums. This episode sees Hyle and Chad not only grapple with some new Donkey Kong Country Returns news, but with Hyle's percieved aural inadequacy. But fret not; he isn't alone in this struggle. Our old pal Aussie Ben stops by for another (first) edition of Aussie Ben Aussie Sez!

After wiping the vegemite from their eardrums, the lads discuss which games they're currently playing, take a waveform-based trip down memory lane with Great Moments in Donkey Kong Universe Audio, and cap things off with an Obscure DKU Character Showcase. As per usual, the programme is rounded off with a storied song from the Donkey Kong Universe archives....

...but one of The Vine hosts might not survive to hear it.

Hosts: Chad McCanna, Hyle Russell

Special Thanks: Ben Kosmina, Jeremy Thorn, Alastair Craig, J.R. Stone

Post Production: Chad McCanna

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com

Barring reincarnation, you only turn 11 once. As such, perennial pre-adolescents Chad and Hyle kick off the new era of DK Vine with the first episode of The Vine: Donkey Kong Audio Programme! Looking back at the past, present, and future of the site, they're joined by a parade of well-wishers, then host a trivia contest that takes an angry and inebriated turn. The proceedings are capped off by Jeremy Thorn's site-summarizing take on Donkey Kong 64's DK Rap. Bring a mop, because you're about to get wet.

Hosts: Chad McCanna, Hyle Russell

Special Thanks: Jeremy Thorn, Alastair Craig, Andrey & Fiona Summers, Leigh Loveday, Mark Mazzei

Post Production: Chad McCanna

Music: Jeremy Thorn

©2010 File Two Productions

www.dkvine.com