Have you ever wanted to sell tickets to your living room, but were worried about the complexities of setting up a ticketing system? Well worry no more as you can now buy AdheSiPass, a roll of tickets which you can stick on anything, or use as tickets for entry. Your living room will be full of tourists in droves.

With the LumaLedger you can shine a light on your finances… literally. It is the world’s very first combination torch and bank account monitoring system. Allowing you to use the LumaLedger to work out if you can afford another one… which of course you can. Get it now!

Do your sandals not automatically clean the floor what you are walking? Do you not even own sandals? Then I can 100% tell you that your kitchen floor isn’t as clean as it could be with SoapSteps. It cleans while you step, and even if you stand still for a bit. Admittedly if you just stand completely still it won’t clean much of your room, but who would do that? Only the kind of person who doesn’t order their SoapSteps today!

Of course you, like me, keep all of your important stuff in a secret vault. That’s obvious… but unlike me you probably don’t lock your vault or check that people haven’t broken in and stolen your stuff. I have revolutionised the vault by not only locking it, but being able to monitor my vault 24/7 on my watch. Get your VaultWatch before I steal your stuff.

How do you know when you have enough food on your plate? If you are using the old method of waiting until it starts spilling over the sides then let me tell you that is very wasteful. I used to do that… but now I use MeasurePlate which is a plate with measurements on it. Simple as that!

Do you often find the need to rub out quite large mistakes at the same time as the need to transport an infant? It might seem like quite a niche requirement, but a) GlideErase is definitely the best way to do both and b) once you have one, you’ll find it comes up a lot more than you might think.

Do you sometimes forget the best ideas that you come up with while having a hot drink? Of course you do… but I don’t because my mug is also a white board. Get your WhiteBrew now!

Do you get wet when it rains? Of course you do… but I don’t because I have DrySmile… just brush your teeth and get all day protection from the rain… If you don’t get DrySmile then don’t come crying to me when you get wet… your tears will just bounce off me.

Introducing the ultimate way to relax… It’s called drawing. You might be drawing using old fashioned methods, but not me… I’m using the SketchSeat… with a pencil so big it forms part of the structure of the seat. Get yours today!

CalmiPaper is revolutionary paper that works just like normal paper, and if you are in 7% of the population, then it will also make you feel calmer, although it won’t actually solve the problems that are stressing you out. Get CalmiPaper today and hope you are either in the 7% of the population, or that the anxiety inducing situation has cleared itself up by the time the paper arrives.