Thank You for the sunrise this morning, Abba. It means that life is continuing. It means that I have another chance to make You smile today. As long as I have breath in me, I am not defeated. You have not abandoned me to the grave, thus I will not abandon others to the grave. Compassion and forgiveness, You have poured out upon me—therefore, I will spill it out upon others. Let me not harbor what You have freely given to me. If I hold Your sweetness inside, how will others taste and see that You are good?
Oh, forgive me Abba. I have put You in a cage to make You perform—to dance to the tune of my manipulative music. I have struck at You with the whip of my words saying, “dance; move; do something!” Oh, how I’ve judged You because You have not done my desire. You have not conformed to my will nor my image. I have brought You lower than my prideful head held high. Yet, now I realize that it is I who have allowed myself to be caged.
Forgive me if I have ascribed to You wrong-doing. Forgive me for blaming You for the mess I have created for myself. If I really knew You were for me, I would not be against me. If I have failed You, it is because I did not know You. To know You is life eternal. Life eternal is knowing You! Forgive me for not allowing You to be who You already said You were. You are the I AM, and I am not the I AM.
You have loved me with an everlasting love—why do I show others such limited love? Why can I not give back to You in the same proportion to what I have received from You? It’s fear Father. I fear as Ananias and Sapphira did. I fear giving up, because it is too easy to keep back a portion of my life in case of a “rainy day.” Forgive me for ‘saving' my life, as somehow in doing so, I feel I have lost it.
I am so sorry Abba, for I have held onto something that belongs to You—my will. If only I knew to give up my desire for Your desire, my desires I would have. I have allowed the enemy to misinterpret Your goodness towards me, as a ploy to get me to abandon my need for You. Forgive me. I will only listen to Your Words through the funnel of Your Word, and I will not allow the enemy to usurp what You have told me is truth.
For I am more than an overcomer, because You chose to love me first. And I will stay an overcomer because I will not lose my First Love again! I am above, and not beneath. I am the head, and not the tail. I am blessed. My basket is full, and I am fruitful in all that I do. Why am I all of these things? Because I have chosen Your Word and have diligently obeyed it. You have set me on high, because I have known Your Name. All that I have, You have given to me. I have received because You first loved me, thus I give back to You the fruit of my life.
I once sought my own way, yet You weighed my heart. I was found wanting, and nothing I could do to add to my worth could ever balance my life. Oh, thank You, Bright and Morning Star, for coming to balance my life. For my unrighteousness could never achieve equality with Your righteousness. You showed me if only I would humble my arrogant heart, and repent for the excesses in my life, that You would come and bear my burdensome load.
You made a way into my life, because through my brokenness, I cleared the way for Your life. You never gave up on me, so how can I give up on You? Make me see clearly that the real enemy I face is not the ‘countenance' of the One who loved me before I knew my own name. Oh, the lies of men, the religious interpretations of Your Words, the abusive words of my loved ones—these things are not an excuse to shake my fist in Your face, and say, “You did these things to me!” Reveal the hidden so that I know who my real enemy is.
Throw open the flap of the door of my tent, and allow the Son to beam through on the inside. Then, I will see clearly in order to clean up the filth of my dwelling. For I know You are returning soon. Forgive me for placing a
