The Whole Pineapple

"Let me know what I can do for you!" It's a common statement made by very well-intended friends and family when someone is going through loss.

But even thinking about an answer to that question, much less all the surrounding thoughts (Am I asking too much? Do I want to reveal this much about myself?) — it's exhausting for someone who is probably already in emotional chaos.

A better solution? Drop off groceries. Don't stay for conversation, just let your loved one know the food is there, and give them space. Or text a note that says, "You don't need to respond to this, but I'm thinking of you."

It can be so hard to know what to say, and no one wants to make pain worse by saying the wrong thing. But as Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker says in this oh-so-valuable conversation with hosts Anne and Ruby, sharing happy memories can be a gift. Just follow your loved one's lead.

If you're trying to find a way to support someone, there are some great ideas and advice in this episode. If you're going through grief and you wish your friends knew the information in this episode, maybe ask a trusted friend to share it out.

For more grief support, contact Wendy at her website, https://www.wendysloneker.com/. And of course, get more episodes of The Whole Pineapple from their website, https://thewholepineapple.com/.

Note: This episode deals with grief and loss. Please consider carefully if this is the right time for you to listen.

October is Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, and Infant Loss Awareness Month in the United States. The losses that can accompany an infertility journey often aren't commemorated in the same way as other losses, and that can add an extra burden to those grieving.

We already struggle to cope with death in our society; when there's the extra stigma of shame that frequently accompanies infertility or pregnancy or infant loss, people can be left without the support they need.

Grief Coach Wendy Sloneker spoke with Ruby and Anne about why we need help, what that support can look like, and where to find it.

If you or someone you know is dealing with grief around infertility or any other loss, we encourage you to listen (if you're ready) and share this episode, then seek help in whatever form feels best for you.

You can find Wendy at her website and arrange for a complimentary consultation: https://www.wendysloneker.com/. You can also hear Wendy's podcast, Heart Healing from Loss: https://www.wendysloneker.com/podcastindex.html. Find her at Instagram @wendy.sloneker and on Twitter @WSloneker.

As always, you can find Ruby and Anne at https://thewholepineapple.com/, on Instagram @thewholepineapplepod and on Twitter @WholePineapple.

Resources mentioned:

https://resolve.org/ https://thebrokenbrownegg.org/

Solace, inspiration, laughter — humans are amazingly good at turning difficult experiences into art, and infertility is no exception.

In this short snack, hosts Ruby Booras and Anne Judge share some of their favorite poetry on the challenges of infertility...and take a turn at crafting some poetry of their own!

If you've written about your experience, we hope you'll share your writing with us! Find Anne and Ruby on Instagram @thewholepineapplepod or on Twitter @WholePineapple. And of course, on the website: https://thewholepineapple.com/.

Resources:

Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom for a Better Life by Cleo Wade:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35297176-heart-talk?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=8ms9v11qBN&rank=1

https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B074ZGQYGC&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_8JA15BM1Z94NYPRVAZ4W

She Dreams When She Bleeds: Poems About Periods by Nikki Tajiri

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45036159-she-dreams-when-she-bleeds?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=7fv27TXUQs&rank=1

https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B07NQTCBS1&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_TDNER7E77NHYT3EVS9VN"The Carrying" by Ada Limón

"Fertility Day: Letter to My Younger Self" by Kat Francois (video of the poem read by the artist).

The world's oldest love poem, "The Love Song for Shu-Sin"

What do we know about sperm and miscarriage?

Dr. Lora Shahine has a chapter in her book Not Broken about "the other half" (men and miscarriage), and it's the shortest chapter. The reason may be very different than you think.

Sperm is half of the genetic equation. And most pregnancies that are lost are lost because of a problem with the embryo — not the person carrying it.

So why do we know so little about the sperm side? Historically, infertility and pregnancy loss have focused on the pregnant person, so there's very little research about the contribution of the partner.

In this conversation with Dr. Lora Shahine, Ruby and Anne ask why we know so little and what's being done to correct the bias in the research and testing.

For more information, find Dr. Shahine's book here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B5SN2RXH/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0

And hear her podcast here: https://drlorashahine.com/podcast.

And of course, for more The Whole Pineapple, check out their website, and don't forget to share, rate, and review! https://thewholepineapple.com/

Hello, Pineapple People!

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, and if you're grieving a loss and feeling like you might never have the family you're hoping for, please listen to this episode. We see you. There's hope.

In this episode, hosts Ruby Booras and Anne Judge talk with reproductive specialist Dr. Lora Shahine about the many causes of pregnancy loss — and the many reasons to hope.

Anatomy, genetics, environment, physical health: there are so many factors that can lead to pregnancy loss.

Dr. Lora Shahine (https://drlorashahine.com/) is a physician double board certified in reproductive endocrinology and infertility and obstetrics and gynecology.

Dr. Shahine has trained in one of the few Centers for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss in the US and has published over 50 peer-reviewed research projects, numerous articles and several books which include Not Broken: An Approachable Guide to Miscarriage and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss, Planting the Seeds of Pregnancy: An Integrative Approach to Fertility Care, and a children's book titled The Bean Family Sprouts: Growing Stronger Through New Experiences.

Dr. Shahine is the host of the podcast Baby Or Bust - Exploring the Fascinating World of Fertility. Find it here: https://babyorbustpodcast.com/. Connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok: @drlorashahine.

Hear more from Ruby, Anne, and their expert guests; be sure to subscribe to The Whole Pineapple wherever you listen to podcasts. And please rate, review, and share to help others on their wellness and fertility journey. https://thewholepineapple.com/

Got pain? Try changing the story.

Sometimes there are no treatments or medicines that will completely eliminate pain. Chronic pain can cause anger, frustration, depression, and anxiety, and those negative emotions can actually increase our perception of pain.

Are there other ways to manage pain so we can learn to cope with it?

According to Jamie Mammenga, you can work to change the narrative around the pain. Know the triggers that surround the pain, understand the baggage your pain brings with it, and see if you can find another way to view the pain.

What if it were a close friend who was going through this; how would you help them?

Take a moment to let Jamie guide you through a mindfulness exercise that may help you treat yourself with more compassion.

Find more of Jamie's guidance and teaching from her other episodes. You'll find them at https://thewholepineapple.com/.

"My doctor told me I have to lose weight before I can try IVF."

When BMI becomes a barrier to fertility treatment, is that really medically necessary or appropriate?

Nutritionist Rachelle Mallik hears "My doc says I have to lose weight" a LOT in her practice, and she'd really rather doctors advise their patients to practice healthy habits than just "lose weight."

Eating well and getting exercise may increase someone's chances of a healthy pregnancy, but BMI alone isn't really a good measure of fertility success.

In this snack, Ruby and Anne talk with Rachelle about how weight stigma and the automatic assumption that a fat body is an unhealthy body are limiting many people from accessing fertility services.

Listen up, share, and have a delicious week.

Learn more about Rachelle here:

• Instagram and Twitter: @rachellemallik
• Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelle-lacroix-mallik-ma-rd-ldn-95b68b13/
• The Food Therapist Website: https://rachellemallik.com/meetrachelle-thefoodtherapist
• Get on the waitlist for her Fertility Nutrition course: https://rachellemallik.com/fertility-foundations-course

Are gluten and dairy evil? Should I be FODMAPing?

Registered Dietitian Rachelle Mallik gets questions about gluten and dairy A LOT, and those who have PCOS or are having challenges with fertility may have some reason to ask.

But mostly, there's just a lot of misinformation out there when it comes to food and nutrition. In this episode, hosts Ruby and Anne, and guest Rachelle are demystifying food and fertility so listeners are able to make better-informed decisions.

We hope you'll share this episode with anyone who suffers IBS, PCOS, or fertility challenges or just wants to know more about nourishing their body properly.

Rachelle Mallik is a Registered Dietitian and owner of The Food Therapist, a virtual practice specializing in nutrition counseling for reproductive health. She primarily works with clients who are trying to conceive, pregnant, postpartum or lactating as well as those with reproductive conditions such as PCOS, endometriosis and hypothalamic amenorrhea. Rachelle supports her clients with a weight-inclusive, evidence-informed approach that focuses on health-promoting behaviors and nourishment over restriction.

Rachelle also serves as the content expert for Reproduction on the Board of Editors for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics' Nutrition Care Manual.

Find Ruby and Anne at thewholepineapple.com.

Rachelle's website is rachellemallik.com; you can email her at [email protected], and find her on Instagram @rachellemallik.

If you're interested in signing up for her forthcoming fertility nutrition course, you can add yourself to the waitlist at https://rachellemallik.com/fertility-foundations-course.

True or False: the only issue PCOS causes is problems with fertility.

Not sure? Listen up—it's PCOS Awareness Month, and Ruby and Anne are delivering a special episode to provide additional information about this common but little-known disease.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) may occur in as much as 8-12 percent (or more!) of women between 18 and 44. While it is often dismissed as "only a problem for fertility," the truth is, it can factor in many other issues people with PCOS need to be aware of, including diabetes and heart disease.

Often those with PCOS go years without a diagnosis for the symptoms they're experiencing. If you're dealing with PCOS or think you might be, please have a listen to learn more.

Additionally, if you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please share it. The sooner someone gets the correct diagnosis, the sooner they can learn to manage their health.

Learn more about Ruby and Anne at the website https://thewholepineapple.com/.

RESOURCES

Episode with Brea Seaburg: https://thewholepineapple.com/brea-seaburg-talks-insulin-resistance-metabolic-wellness-%ef%bf%bcwhy-they-matter/

Mastering Diabetes: https://www.masteringdiabetes.org/team/

Do you eat at your desk? Are you stuffing down a bag of something from the junk-food machine between tasks? Are you eating from a bag or a plate, over candlelight or over the sink? Do you have one eye on your phone or laptop the whole time?

Who knew there were so many ways to eat unhealthily that have nothing to do with nutrition?!

Especially for those managing PCOS, eating mindfully and taking time to eat right can be nearly as important as what's on your plate.

In this delicious snack, Anne and Ruby are talking with Certified Nutritionist and Wellness Coach Chelsea Fetchner. Chelsea has some fabulous ideas about how you can enjoy your food and really nourish your body and spirit at every meal. Bon appetit!

Chelsea Fetchner is an essential part of Seattle Reproductive Medicine's Wellness Program. She began her studies at the University of Washington, majoring in Early Childhood and Family Studies. After discovering her interest in prenatal nutrition, she continued on to receive her Master of Science in Nutrition from the National University of Natural Medicine. Chelsea now specializes in nutrition for fertility, reproductive health, and early pregnancy.

Find Chelsea on Instagram @chelseafetchner

Be sure to read her blog post, "Mindful Eating Practices for PCOS": https://www.seattlefertility.com/mindful-eating-practices-for-pcos/

Find out more about Seattle Reproductive Medicine's Wellness Program on their website: https://www.seattlefertility.com/category/wellness/