The Widowed Parent Podcast

I had such a great discussion with Katarina Salisbury for this episode. This is the second episode in a two-part series with the Salisbury family—Katarina is with us this week, and last week we spoke with her mom, Leila. I hope you had a chance to catch that discussion—listeners are telling me it was a powerful one. Katarina is just 15 years old, and she lost her dad when she was 5. She's very articulate and she's passionate about helping grieving kids and teens. It was so great to hear her reflections and perspectives and to be able to share those with you today. It's such a privilege to be able to hear directly from a teen, and I hope it will help those of us who are widowed parents try to better understand our kids' experiences.

Some topics Katarina and I discuss include:

• Learning that her dad died by suicide, rather than a car accident, when she was 8 or 9—a few years after his death;
• How much she appreciated the kids grief program she went to when she was younger;
• Feeling like her dad's suicide must have been her fault;
• Being labeled 'the kid with the dead dad' at school;
• Feeling embarrassed and singled out when teachers would remind the whole class that her dad had died recently;
• Navigating telling people at her new school, after she moved to another state, about her dad;
• Losing her grandmother in middle school, and how that was much harder than she expected;
• Struggling at school because of her grief;
• Her plans to be involved in leading peer-to-peer teen grief support groups;
• How she and her mom have acknowledged her dad's birthdays and death anniversaries;
• Being upset that one year her dad's birthday passed without acknowledgment;
• Wishing that she had told her mom more about what she was going through; and
• Deciding that she wants to become an adolescent psychiatrist based on her experiences.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Katarina Salisbury.

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Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

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I had such a great discussion with Leila Salisbury for this episode. This is the first episode of a two-part series with the Salisbury family – Leila is with us this week, and next week we'll speak with her 15-year-old daughter, Katarina, for part two of the series. It's going to be so great to hear from both of them, and hear their different perspectives and reflections on the loss of the same person: Leila's husband and Katarina's dad.

Some topics Leila and I discuss this week include:

• Reflecting on how she initially shared at grief group that her husband died in a car accident, when he actually died by suicide;
• Wishing she'd told her then-five-year-old daughter the truth from the outset, and how she ultimately did talk with her about it;
• The guilt she felt because she had wanted to divorce her husband before he died;
• The pressure she felt to 'curate' her husband's memory for their daughter;
• Her mom's death a few years later, and how that was a very different experience of grief for her;
• How she and her now teen daughter have gotten to the point where they are having the hard conversations;
• How it was surprisingly hard to navigate the support options for her daughter; and
• Deciding to start a grief center in Lexington, Kentucky.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Leila Salisbury.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Lane Pease Hendricks and Nancy Kriseman from Kate's Club for this episode. Lane and Nancy have a brand new book for widowed parents and others who are raising grieving kids. They are with Kate's Club, a leading grief program for kids and families, so they really know their stuff. I am so excited to bring you this discussion to kick off this year's Children's Grief Awareness Month.

Some topics Lane and Nancy and I discuss include:

• Myths and facts about grief;
• How different types of losses can sometimes lead to different types of grief reactions;
• The importance of being honest with kids, including some examples of language to use;
• That it's ok for adults to show their feelings to their kids, and that it's important to model that we can be both sad and that we can cope;
• The importance of finding a circle of support;
• Suggestions for talking with both teenagers and younger kids;
• The importance of not 'parentifying' teens;
• Why it's important for parents to make room for their own grief;
• The need to reassure kids of all ages that their parent's death is not their fault;
• Kids re-grieving as they grow and experience developmental milestones; and
• What it means to develop continuing bonds with our deceased loved ones.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Lane Pease Hendricks and Nancy Kriseman.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Joy Imboden Overstreet for this episode. Joy is a widowed parent, and is in fact the person who is farthest out from their loss that we've had on the show. She was widowed 47 years ago, when her kids were just 3 & 6 years old. I think it's really helpful to hear her perspectives and reflections after many years.

Some topics Joy and I discuss include:

• The shock of her 29-year-old husband being diagnosed with testicular cancer when her kids were 1 and 4 years old;
• Feeling angry after he died, followed by shame and self-loathing;
• Hiring a male nanny for her young kids;
• Meeting her second husband 8 years after her first husband died;
• Her older son becoming 'super dad' after his first child was born as a reaction to missing out on experiences with his own dad;
• Her daughter exploring feelings of abandonment as an adult in relation to losing her dad; and
• Planning to have discussions now with her adult kids, 47 years after their loss, about things they never talked about—and realizing that it's never too late to talk about it.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Joy Imboden Overstreet.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Mari Marquez for this episode. It was so much fun talking to Mari twice over the course of a few days – once for her show, and once for mine. It really was lovely to connect with her and hear all about her experiences, and also her blog, podcast, and children's book, all of which bring badly-needed resources to widowed parents. And, importantly, she was very honest in our discussion about how very hard it was for her right after her husband died, and how much she struggled. This can be a real issue, and I'm grateful Mari was willing to talk about it.

Some topics Mari and I discuss include:

• Losing her husband, Alex, in a terrible burn accident when their daughter was just 13 months old;
• Feeling lost in the following months, and almost ending her own life;
• Realizing that she needed to seek support;
• Wondering how she would explain to her baby that her dad had died;
• Finding resources from the National Alliance for Children's Grief;
• Starting her blog, embracingwidowhood.com, in order to help other young widows find resources;
• Her thoughts on the difference between solo parenting and single parenting;
• Learning that she can't ignore her daughter's grief, even though sometimes people think it won't affect her because she is so young; and
• Why she wrote a children's picture book about grief.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Mari Marquez.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Joanne Harpel for this episode. We talk about a really difficult topic today: coping after losing a loved one to suicide. It seems that many people are uncomfortable talking about death in general … and even more uncomfortable when talking about suicide. This is a topic we haven't specifically covered yet on the show, although it's come up sometimes in the context of broader conversations, and I've had requests from listeners to talk about it. I'm so grateful that Joanne was willing to come on the show and speak with us about it now, during Suicide Prevention Month. She's an internationally renowned expert on the topic, and has so much good information to share with us.

Some topics Joanne and I discuss include:

• Some ways suicide loss differs from other types of loss;
• Tips for answering the inevitable questions from people;
• How suicide loss can be complicated for families;
• Why it's important to be honest with kids about suicide loss, rather than attempting to hide it from them;
• How Joanne explained her brother's suicide to her son when he was three;
• The fact that it is safe to ask someone a direct question about whether they are suicidal;
• How the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can help someone who is feeling suicidal, or can help a family member / friend who is concerned about a loved one;
• What the crisis text line is, and how it can help; and
• The support groups that Joanne runs on zoom for survivors of suicide loss.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Joanne Harpel.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I had such a great discussion with Bryan Jung for this episode. Bryan's dad died when Bryan was just shy of 11 years old. Bryan is in his 20's now and has started a creative platform, This is Why, which offers people who lost a parent at a young age a place to tell their stories.

Some topics Bryan and I discuss include:

• How his dad was shot by a lawyer going up against him in a court case when Bryan was just 9 years old, and then his dad dying from this shooting when Bryan was nearly 11;
• Grieving while also having to deal with the media attention and legal activity involved;
• Re-grieving as he's gotten older and been able to process and understand more than he could when he was younger;
• Developing an anxiety disorder in his teen years from this experience;
• Developing empathy and sympathy at a young age;
• Their family getting a puppy at the recommendation of his therapist;
• Getting involved with Camp Erin as a volunteer when he was a young adult; and
• Why he decided to start his creative platform, This is Why.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Bryan Jung.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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LIVE with Joyal Mulheron of Evermore (8/30/2021). Joyal explains that Bereavement Leave is not protected by US Law, meaning a person can be fired if they take even one day of leave when someone close to them dies. The next 10 days are a critical opportunity to get new legislation written to address this. And WE ALL can help. Here is how to call 16 Senators who are critical to getting this done: https://live-evermore.org/protect-our-jobs-congress/

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Find all episodes of the Widowed Parent Podcast & widowed parenting resources: https://widowedparentpodcast.com

Tips for widowed parents: https://jennylisk.com/top10

Tips for allies of grieving people: https://www.jennylisk.com/allies

I had such a great discussion with Ann Locke Davidson and Pamela Sheffield for this episode. Ann and Pam are educational consultants with a practice called Educational Connections in Portland, Oregon. Don't worry if you're not in Oregon -- they have extensive experience working with families all over the United States, and some outside the US as well.

I wanted to talk with Ann and Pam today about a topic that can be difficult: what are some options if your teen is really struggling -- and outpatient therapy and other local resources just aren't helping?

Some topics Ann and Pam and I discuss include:

• The types of situations that lead people to call them for more help;
• How they go about determining what sort of help might be most appropriate;
• Understanding some placement options, such as psychiatric hospitals, residential treatment centers, therapeutic boarding schools, and wilderness programs;
• Examples of some different types of therapeutic boarding schools;
• What is the 'milieu' and why is it important; and
• How educational consultants can help evaluate and recommend appropriate options.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Anne Locke Davidson and Pamela Sheffield.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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I'm so glad to be back behind the microphone for this, Episode 100!

The podcast has been on hiatus for a couple of months as I've been juggling a number of other things — and what a great time to be back.

I feel like it's time to reflect a bit.

To share with you why I started this podcast.

And, most importantly, to bring you messages from some of the widowed parents I've interviewed on the show over the past few years.

I hear so often from widowed parents that they feel lost and alone.

They don't know anyone else who is widowed with kids or teens in their neighborhood or their kids' school communities.

So, I've looked at all 100 episodes recorded to date, and I've pulled clips from eleven of my guests for today's show. These are seasoned widowed parents. People who are down the path a bit, and have some reflections to share with all of us.

I hope you enjoy this Special Episode: Best of Show, Part 1: Conversations with Widowed Parents.

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Thank you sponsors & partners:

Audible - Get a FREE audiobook and 30-day free trial: www.audibletrial.com/widowedparent

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Blue Apron - Special offers for listeners of the podcast: jennylisk.com/blueapron

Grief Coach - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $20 off: https://grief.coach/jennylisk/

Support the show - Buy Me a Coffee

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