S2 Underground

The Wire - December 31, 2025


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//The Wire//2300Z December 31, 2025//
//ROUTINE//
//BLUF: FINLAND SEIZES SHIP AFTER UNDERSEA CABLES CUT IN GULF OF FINLAND. SOMALI FRAUD SCANDAL CONTINUES TO GROW NATIONWIDE AS RESISTANCE EFFORTS BEGIN IN MINNEAPOLIS.//

 -----BEGIN TEARLINE-----
 
-International Events-

Finland: Authorities seized a vessel that was suspected of deliberately dragging anchor over undersea cables in the Gulf of Finland. This morning, anomalies were detected by Elisa, a Finnish telecom provider which operates several undersea cables providing internet connectivity between Finland and Estonia. Shortly after the disturbance was noted, Finnish Naval forces dispatched a helicopter to patrol the area, which resulted in the discovery of the M/V *FITBURG* dragging her anchor while steaming through the area that the cable outage was reported in. Finland immediately boarded and seized the vessel, which remains in Finnish custody as the investigation into the anchor dragging incident continues.

-HomeFront-

Minnesota: Significant resistance has been noted among the Somali community of Minneapolis as the fraud situation becomes more public. A few Somali TikTokers harassing random citizens have been reported, and a general hostile tone has been noted throughout the city. Due to the rise of independent journalists investigating random businesses, Somali enclaves are now calling 911 on any non-Somali they see at their front door, and making the false claim that the person has a gun in order to elicit a police response.

Washington D.C. - In response to the scale of the fraud on display in Minnesota, the federal Department of Health and Human Services has announced a halt of all Administration for Children and Families (ACF) payments made to child care facilities in the state, until each child care facility can prove they actually exist and provide services.

-----END TEARLINE-----

Analyst Comments: In Minneapolis, the saga continues as the Nick Shirley story continues to gain traction. Officially, the State of Minnesota has stated that the "Learing Center" was actually shut down before Shirley's report. However, after this rhetoric was issued, the entire Somali community of the local area came out to make a grand show of the "Learing Center" actually being open. They brought random children to the facility to "prove" that the center was open, and made a big production out of the whole affair. Meanwhile, state-level officials have been on TV over the past few days urging the public that the facility has actually been closed for some time.

Some Somalis, however, do understand the stakes in Minneapolis. Overnight, a break-in was reported at the Nokomis DayCare Center on Bloomington Avenue. The owners of the facility called an urgent press conference to address the situation, which several local media outlets flocked to this morning. The owners stated that the miscreants which conducted the daring heist only stole very specific items...all of the child enrollment records held by the daycare, as well as the checkbook that held all the financial data for the facility.

The official story by the daycare owners is that thieves broke in during the night...to steal paperwork. To even the casual observer, this is very clearly a "dog ate my homework" level of effort to conceal some sort of criminal enterprise.

Additionally, at this same venue, a hole was discovered in the wall under an electrical panel. In the world of tradecraft, this is a classic sign....the remnants of a cash hide site. It is extremely common for cash obtained through illegal means to be stored inside a wall for safekeeping. When it comes time for the criminal to fly to coop, they break the drywall, scoop out the cash, and run for it. While this is completely speculative in this case, it's probably one of the easiest assessments to make as this tactic is widely used throughout the third world (though

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