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How many times have you used the word “insane” when talking about infamous serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy? While we don’t disagree that these guys were mentally ill, there’s a big difference between criminally insane and mentally ill. Join Jen and Carolyn as they discuss the insanity defense and why more often than not, defendants who invoke it are unsuccessful in convincing courts that they didn’t know the difference between right and wrong when committing crimes. 

not guilty by reason of insanity
7 Serial Killers Who Pleaded Insanity
‘Crazy, Not Insane’ Review: Inside the Criminal Mind - The New York Times
'Crazy, Not Insane' Review: Alex Gibney's Fascinating Documentary About What Makes a Serial Killer
When ‘Not Guilty’ Is a Life Sentence - The New York Times
Misconceptions About the Insanity Defense That Will Drive You Nuts! By Dr. Jeffrey Singer
A Brief History of the Insanity Defense | Psychology Today.
What Care for the Criminally Insane Can Teach Us About Mental Health
Criminal Psychology Nature, Nurture, Culture
NYTimes Article: Lorena Bobbit Acquitted in Mutilation of Husband

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Yet another example of a phrase that’s become a part of our lexicon, but how many people know the origin of the term and what it means? Furthermore, is it even a legitimate phenomenon or just something concocted by a couple of shrinks and the media? Because we want to make sure you sound smart at parties, we’re going to help you out. Join Jen and Carolyn as they dissect Stockholm Syndrome beginning with the history of the term and how the concept has changed over the years to be more survivor-centered.

Trigger warning: Kidnapping, rape, violence 

Is Stockholm Syndrome even real? The bizarre story behind a problematic diagnosis | The Independent

Stockholm Syndrome: The True Story of Hostages Loyal to Their Captor

How Patty Hearst Became a Stockholm Syndrome Poster Child | Time

Patty Hearst kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army

Whose Side Was She On? 'American Heiress' Revisits Patty Hearst's Kidnapping : NPR

Kidnapping of Jaycee Dugard - Wikipedia

Dugard, J. (2011). A stolen life: A memoir. Simon and Schuster.

Fight, Flight, Freeze and Appease: Understanding Appeasement as a Trauma Response

​​Placing the Stockholm Syndrome in Perspective

Polyvagal Equine Institute www.PVEI.com

Polyvagal Theory by Steven Porges

https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/items/replacing-stockholm-syndrome-with-a-new-framework-of-appeasement

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America loves sports and worships athletes, but at what cost? When NFL players are receiving longer suspensions for smoking weed than other players receive for cold cocking women, we’ve got a problem. A big one. Today, Jen and Carolyn pick on the NFL and their reprehensible policies regarding the treatment of players who rape and abuse women. We’re also going to look at similar issues within Division 1 sports programs at the college level. If you don’t like it, we don’t care. We’re here for the ladies, not for multi-billion dollar industries that protects abusers. Oh, and we have a special guest: Jen’s husband, Bill, who knows a lot about sports.

TW: Intimate Partner Violence, Rape, Sexual Assault, Child Abuse, and Murder.

O.J. Simpson trial: Nicole's Letter - CNN.com

A 911 New Year's Call That Foretold A Murder Is Revisited | Psychology Today

Are Pro Athletes Prone to Violence? | Live Science

RESEARCH BRIEF: Gender-Based Violence In Athletics: A Focus on Division I Football Programs and the NFL

Understanding Title IX and its intersection with the Clery Act

Tallahassee Police Finally Admit Problems With Investigation Of Jameis Winston Rape Case

Times: FSU And Tallahassee Police Have Protected Seminoles For Years

Global Study on Homicide - Gender related killing of women and girls

Ben Roethlisberger was easy to admire as a quarterback, but not as a man

Intimate partner violence: causes and prevention - ScienceDirect

Power and Control Wheel | The National Domestic Violence Hotline

National Domestic Violence Hotline: TheHotline.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673

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We could be wrong, but we’re pretty sure nearly every woman on the planet has dated a dude who has no job, no ambition, and no goals. In this episode, Jen and Carolyn focus a bit on what’s going on with dudes like the ones who provided inspiration for such songs such as TLC’s Scrubs and Eryka Badu’s Tyrone, BUT the emphasis is really going to be on why us women bother with these walking red flags in the first place. As always, Carolyn brings the therapist angle, giving us insight into the world of 40 year old dudes who play video games in their parent’s basement all day and why we give these guys any of our precious time.   

Signs you're dating a scrub - as we celebrate TLC's No Scrubs anthem | Stuff.co.nz

Why Women Fall for Jerks, Bad Boys and Deadbeat Losers | by Dona Mwiria | Moments | Medium

9 Legit Reasons You're Attracted To Losers

13 Amazing Coming of Age Traditions From Around the World

Failure to Thrive

Failure to Launch: What It Is and How to Handle It

Fighting the Failure to Launch in Young Adults

Books: 

By Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, Codependent No More and The New Codependency

By Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss, Mirror of Intimacy

Codependent Anonymous  https://coda.org/

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The U.S. Federal Trade Commission received more than 5.88 million fraud reports in 2021. Carolyn and I, who are both reasonably intelligent humans, have both nearly fallen for scams. Scamming innocent people out of their money is nothing new, but thanks to technology, scams are seedier, more pervasive, and easier to perpetrate. If the X Files taught us anything, it's that we should trust no one!    

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/03/rising-scams-use-ai-to-mimic-voices-of-loved-ones-in-financial-distress/
https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2022/top-scams.html
https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna13301137
https://www.fraud.com/post/the-history-and-evolution-of-fraud
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/the-sweetheart-scam-169804.htm
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/03/business/retiree-romance-scams.html

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Not all narcissists act like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. Most of these dudes use their words to hurt you, gaslight you, and make you feel like you’re crazy for having feelings. How dare you! Today, Jen and Carolyn define the many faceted term “narcissism” and  discuss dudes they’ve dated who fall into this category. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Types of Narcissism
Narcissist or Narcissistic? Evaluation of the Latent Structure of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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Asylums were scary ass places and the institutions that followed weren’t always much better. Today, Jen and Carolyn are going to talk about the history of institutional mental healthcare in this country and how shutting down state-run facilities has contributed to unacceptably large numbers of people struggling with severe mental health issues living on the street. Part I will focus on history and Part II will focus on Jen and Carolyn’s home of San Francisco. 

Early Psychiatric Hospitals & Asylums
Psychological Horror or Saving Grace? The Surprising History of Asylums in America
Declared Insane for Speaking Up: The Dark American History of Silencing Women Through Psychiatry
The Story That Revealed Willowbrook's Horrors

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How many times have you heard someone say “so and so met their husband on Tinder” or some such nonsense? We’re not denying that people can meet their soulmates via these dumb apps. We’re just spitting some truth about how statistically unlikely it is and how as a woman, you’re probably going to have to weed through a ton of unsolicited dick pics before you find “the one.” 

This episode is dedicated to our dear friend, Anni, who passed away over the weekend. Anni and Jen met and worked together at the matchmaking service that Jen mentions in the episode. Jen credits Anni with making that unbearable and strange ass job fun and entertaining. This one's for you, Anni! 

The History of Online Dating
The Truth about Online Dating
The Ugly Truth About Online Dating
Why do dating apps bring out the worst in men?
Social Anxiety and Depression Linked to Dating App Usage, Study Finds
Bumble App Messaging $3M Class Action Settlement
Christian Bale Rant

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Everyone knows what catfishing is, but not everyone knows the origin of the term and how the practice started. In this episode, Jen and Carolyn take a brief look at the history of catfishing, the prevalence of the practice and, from a psychological perspective, why so many people, including our very own Carolyn, fall for the carefully calculated schemes of these depraved people. 

Inside 'Catfish': A Tale of Twisted Cyber-Romance

Trust me, I'm a film-maker: the men behind Catfish come clean

Sweet Bobby Podcast