The Wright Conversations

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm going to talk about arousal non-concordance, what we can do about it, and the research around arousal. I also talk about the different types of arousal, arousal vs consent, and the importance of communication.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [02:18] What is arousal non-concordance?
• [03:47] Looking at the research.
• [05:08] The types of arousal.
• [08:16] Why am I wet/hard if I'm not subjectively turned on by stimuli?
• [10:52] Why am I not wet/hard?
• [13:05] Non-concordance is not just sexual.

Quotes:

• "There's a 10% overlap between how women are responding to a situation and what stimuli they feel subjectively aroused by." [04:32]
• "When the vagina gets wet, it does not mean arousal automatically." [04:44]
• "[For men] there is a 50% overlap between genital response and subjective sexual arousal." [04:58]
• "[According to the APA] Arousal is a state of excitement or energy expenditure linked to an emotion." [05:14]
• "[According to the ISSM] Subjective sexual arousal is the active mental engagement in sex." [05:33]
• "When the physiological and subjective sexual arousal are not the same, that is when arousal non-concordance occurs." [06:09]
• "Regardless of what genitals you have, wetness or an erection does not mean that that person is consenting to the activity." [10:29]
• "Arousal non-concordance happens with every emotional and motivational system we have. If my mouth waters when I bite into a wormy apple, does anybody say to me 'you said no but your body said yes'?" [13:13]
• "You have to communicate and not just go off of our body's responses." [14:52]

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

Resources

Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski.

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Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm going to talk about my journey leading up to me coming out, my supportive but skeptical family, and owning my identity. I also talk about the gap in SexEd, where I am today, and my constantly evolving sexuality.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [05:03] The story begins.
• [09:44] My second acknowledged crush on a woman.
• [13:57] Coming out to my boyfriend.
• [16:28] Supportive but skeptical.
• [17:37] The month I identified as lesbian.
• [18:32] Sinking back into heterosexuality.
• [19:56] My third crush on a woman.
• [22:20] Only earning about bisexuality at 20 years old.
• [23:18] Flash forward to today.

Quotes:

• "In my head, and in my experience, monogamy was the only options." [14:33]
• "I was 20 years old when I learned what bisexuality meant." [22:54]
• "When you are able to be your full self in this world, anything is possible." [25:30]

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

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Call to Action

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***Content / Trigger Warning, in this episode we discuss sensitive topics that may not be suitable for all audiences. This may be an episode to skip, or use headphones for, if you have others around you that may not be prepared to listen.***

John Romaniello is an author, angel investor, media personality, and consultant who helps entrepreneurs improve communication skills and increase revenue through writing. On Instagram, he publishes content around kink, non-monogamy, polyamory, and tries to get rid of the shame that many carry around sex.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by John Romaniello, author, angel investor, media personality, and consultant. We are going to talk about the excitement around having clear conversations, how John started opening up, and pushing the boundaries of the comfort zone. John also talks about his imposter syndrome identifying as queer, being open about drug use, and get some of John’s words of wisdom.

Let’s delve in!

In this Episode You’ll Learn:

• [05:10] How we know each other.
• [14:18] The hotness of certainty.
• [17:45] Opening up around kink, drugs, and non-monogamy.
• [26:48] Is there a line?
• [31:42] Imposter syndrome claiming the queer label.
• [35:14] John’s processing of shame.
• [38:36] Being open about drug use.
• [53:32] John’s words of wisdom.

Quotes:

• “One of the hottest things in the world is certainty.” [14:28]
• “I believe that comfort zones expand.” [27:04]
• “Go explore your box if you haven’t.” [53:54]

Connect with John Romaniello

Website:            https://johnromaniello.com

Instagram:          @johnromaniello

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram:          @thewright_rachel

Twitter:              @thewrightrachel

Resources Mentioned

How to change your mind.

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Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm going to talk about self-care and self-love, and how they're related. I'll also be getting into how to practice conscious self-care and self-love, the different areas of self-care, and what it looks like when we do and don't practice self-care.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [03:03] What is self-love?
• [04:00] What is self-care?
• [05:01] What it looks like when we practice self-care.
• [05:30] What it looks like when we don't practice self-care.
• [10:54] Physical self-care.
• [13:20] Psychological self-care.
• [15:20] Emotional self-care.
• [16:58] Spiritual/Soul/Bigger Picture self-care.
• [18:21] Workplace/Professional self-care.
• [19:57] Practicing more conscious self-care.

Quotes:

• "Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do." [03:41]
• "Expressing oneself is an essential form of self-care." [04:43]
• "Sometimes, the biggest form of self-care that we can give ourselves is to cross something off of our to-do list." [06:41]
• "Self-care is a practice." [19:52]

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

Resources Mentioned

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

Get your Zumio Discount!

Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.

***Content / Trigger Warning, in this episode we discuss sensitive topics that may not be suitable for all audiences. Topics like sexual abuse, and physical abuse, including child sexual molestation. This may be an episode to skip, or use headphones for, if you have others around you that may not be prepared to listen.***

Kaycie helps individuals and families work through personal struggles, relationship issues, and communication breakdowns so they can live authentically and enjoy deeper, more meaningful connections with themselves and others. She provides heart-centered, humanistic psychotherapy that is grounded in theory and science.

Kaycie values seeing every client as the expert of their experience and takes great pride in providing tailored-to-you therapy that opens up our stories to new possibilities. She specializes in working with individuals with trauma and couples of all kinds.

In her spare time, she loves getting outside, volunteering, and seeing live music.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm joined by Kaycie Crossley, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. We are going to talk about Kaycie's journey through her own sexual trauma, the truth about the nature of sexual abuse, and the reassurance that trauma is not destiny. Kaycie also talks about the importance of consent, how to start the process of re-owning your sexuality and pleasure, and the misunderstandings around kink.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [02:21] Why this episode is special.
• [07:29] Why this topic is important to Kaycie.
• [08:24] How it shows up in therapy.
• [09:13] The thing about risky behaviour.
• [10:39] Defining childhood sexual abuse.
• [11:07] "Was [insert] sexual abuse?"
• [12:34] What's the first step to re-owning sexuality and pleasure?
• [15:50] Why it's so common for people to put it on themselves.
• [20:30] Kaycie's journey to reclaiming her sexuality and pleasure.
• [23:33] The truth about kink.
• [25:23] Kaycie's loudspeaker moment.
• [26:55] Rewiring neurological pathways.

Quotes:

• "There's no shame in having sex with multiple partners. There's no shame in indulging in any kind of sexual behaviour that feels good to you." [09:34]
• "It's really highly advisable that you do this in therapy just because of how triggering this can be." [12:52]
• "It's really we learn to accept that we are never the reason for the sexual abuse." [14:01]
• "Working through this and redefining our sexuality is one way that we can go back in time and take care of our child self in the ways that we were never cared for." [17:23]
• "Consent is such a big part of it." [23:07]
• "It was never your fault." [25:48]
• "Any physiological responses you had during sexual abuse was not consent." [25:54]
• "We are harmed in relationships and through relationships, we heal." [26:33]
• "You can have a healthy and wonderful, and enjoyable sexual experience if you want one. It's out there waiting for you." [27:50]

Connect with Kaycie Crossley

Website: kayciecrossley.com

Instagram: @kayciecrossleytherapy

LinkedIn: Kaycie Crossley

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

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Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast!

For today's episode, I'll be talking about the plague of Comparisonitis and understanding the phases of typical relationships. I'll also get into our brain chemistry and how it changes throughout the phases, navigating each phase, and finding solace and learning from relationships that end.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [02:26] Why we compare ourselves to others.
• [08:39] The typical relationship escalator.
• [09:50] The honeymoon phase.
• [11:20] The brain chemistry during the honeymoon phase.
• [14:49] The "back to reality" phase.
• [19:22] The decision-making phase.
• [22:22] No more Comparisonitis.
• [22:58] The settling down phase.
• [24:22] Brain chemistry in the settling down phase.
• [26:22] Feeling the ebb and flow of the sexual relationship.
• [26:52] There is more to a relationship than these stages.

Quotes:

• "When we understand the natural phases of a typical romantic/sexual relationship, we will compare less." [02:57]
• "The honeymoon phase is super common and normal. Soak it up." [10:43]
• "Try not to make any big decisions during the honeymoon phase." [10:54]
• "During the 'back to reality' phase is often when a lot of these 'issues' tend to start popping up." [15:52]
• "This [back to reality] stage really sets the foundation in so many ways for the rest of your relationship." [17:09]
• "Please believe people when they show you who they are." [17:28]
• "It is more of a success to leave a relationship that is not for you than to stay in one that you don't want to be in." [17:41]
• "Often, in this [decision-making] phase, you are figuring out if your lifestyles in the big picture are compatible." [20:55]
• "I truly hope that you do not settle for being happy enough." [21:30]
• "If something is not serving you, if it's harming you, you don't have to be in it." [22:13]
• "This [settling down] phase feels very privileged." [23:25]
• "The reality of long-term sexual/romantic relationships that have a sexual component is that the sexual relationship is going to ebb and flow." [25:18]
• "When you have an empty cup, it is so hard to pour out." [26:47]

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

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Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.

Cory Bush is a sex-positive doula and relationship coach, based in Brooklyn, NY. Cory believes that sex positivity is crucial to living a fulfilling life as it serves as an intersectional framework that seeks to combat shame and fear a that keeps people from being who they've always wanted to be.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm joined by Cory Bush, sex-positive doula and relationship coach. We are going to talk about finding our community, warning signs to look out for at events, and some of the biggest faux pas that people make when cultivating community. Cory also talks about the importance of conflict resolution, online communities, and why community itself is vital to our existence.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [03:52] Before Cory started.
• [11:34] Relationships require repetition.
• [18:37] Where do we start?
• [23:04] Warning signs at events.
• [32:01] The biggest faux pas in cultivating community.
• [42:40] Cory's words of wisdom.

Quotes:

• "Everyone doesn't need to like you." [15:50]
• "Your gut and your intuition is powerful." [25:35]
• "Focus less on trying to pretend that you know the right things to do, and focus more on learning and being open to people teaching you a new way of handling things." [39:15]
• "Community is literally everything." [45:38]

Connect with Cory Bush

Website: https://www.corybushdoula.com

Instagram: @thecorybush

Patreon: @askasub

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

Resources Mentioned

Pod Mapping.

FetLife.

Bloom.

Remodeled Love on Patreon.

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

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Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm joined by my primary partners, Kyle, Ashley, and Yair. We are going to talk about how we met, how this all started, and where we see it going. We also talk about our experiences dating during the pandemic, experiencing the motions and emotions, and our family structure, and we have important messages that we want everyone to know.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [04:24] Yair's perspective.
• [10:13] Ashley's perspective.
• [18:50] Kyle's perspective.
• [23:00] The early days.
• [24:14] Distanced dating.
• [32:37] Getting physical for the first time.
• [40:18] Experiencing jealousy.
• [44:29] Getting through insecurities.
• [55:20] What makes it all worth it?
• [62:36] Our structure and where we're going.
• [69:11] What do we want everyone to know about our relationship.

Quotes:

• "Jealousy pulls on your insecurities." [44:46]
• "The more times you work through something, the easier it is to go through the next time, but it's still going to be a next time and it's still going to be challenging." [53:38]
• "Every single dynamic gets to be what it is, and celebrated for what it is." [61:32]
• "We want our legal structure to reflect what our emotions and our day-to-day lives look like." [65:03]
• "It's not all orgies all the time. Everyone knows orgies are for Thursdays." [69:43]
• "We're not that different." [73:37]

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

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Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.

Nikole Mitchell is a life coach who's gone viral as the Pastor-turned-Stripper. Nikole has dedicated herself to living a life of power, pleasure, and profit, and helps others do the same. Having gone from food stamps to seven figures, Nikole helps her clients and course students make bank doing what they love.

Having been interviewed and published in over 25 countries and with 250,000 organic followers on Instagram, Nikole is becoming the go-to expert for learning how to make money by being your truest self. For her expertise, Nikole has been featured on Jimmy Kimmel, ABC, CBS, FOX, SiriusXM, and iHeartRadio.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I'm joined by Nikole Mitchell, life coach gone viral as the Pastor-turned-Stripper. We are going to talk about some of the misconceptions about sex work, creating a positive environment around sex work, and how to get involved. Nikole also talks about her journey from Pastor to Stripper, talking to her kids about her work, and she gives some words of wisdom.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [05:32] Defining sex work.
• [06:08] What's under the umbrella of sex work.
• [06:54] Pastor-turned-Stripper.
• [12:42] The biggest misconceptions.
• [14:05] Why people are uncomfortable with this topic.
• [16:23] The privilege of online sex work.
• [17:37] Talking to her kids about her work.
• [21:23] Advice to parents to talk about sex work.
• [26:00] Why people hire sex workers.
• [32:38] How to start the process.
• [37:37] How to be better clients.
• [40:26] Funny stories from Nikole's work.
• [42:19] Nikole's words of wisdom.

Quotes:

• "[Sex work] is the exchange of money for goods and services that are sexual related." [05:50]
• "Kids do kids things. Adults do adult things." [19:21]
• "90% of my one-on-one calls with my fans are just to talk." [28:08]
• "It's amazing once we become curious, the things we become aware of." [35:24]
• "If you can't honor someone's boundaries, then don't be in their space.' [38:28]
• "The greatest act of revolution is to trust yourself" [43:00]
• "Don't wait to get to the end of your life wishing you had tried it. Try it. You'll be okay." [43:40]

Connect with Nikole Mitchell

Website: nikolemitchell.com

Instagram: @mitchellnikole

Facebook: @nikole.s.mitchell

Twitter: @mitchellnikole

YouTube: Nikole Mitchell

OnlyFans: @nikolemitchell

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

Get your Zumio Discount!

Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today's episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today's episode, I am going to be talking about my journey with depression, jumping between various treatments, and the moment I found relief. I'll also be getting into the process of doing ketamine treatments, how they saved my life, and how it's going today.

Let's delve in!

In this Episode You'll Learn:

• [06:37] The depression diagnosis.
• [13:27] Switching from Lexapro to Effexor.
• [15:53] And then Covid hit.
• [18:50] Getting on to Remeron.
• [21:14] The next wave of depression.
• [24:21] Starting ketamine treatments.
• [29:02] The first infusion.
• [31:56] Feeling like myself again.

Quotes:

• "It was so scary to be stuck in a brain that was telling me lies." [25:57]
• "The healthier I get mentally, the more I realized that the feeling of surrendering is really positive." [27:16]
• "Not one things is a silver bullet." [32:06]

Connect with Rachel Wright

Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com

Instagram: @thewright_rachel

Twitter: @thewrightrachel

WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!

Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel

Get your Zumio Discount!

Call to Action

Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don't forget to subscribe.