TheModernMoron podcast

Welcome again to TMM… you know since there is so much love and unity in this country right now, both socially and politically, I think we'll take a break from politics and news headlines. Don't worry… all of the toxic chaotic issues going on will be right there and waiting for you in less than half an hour… I promise. They will not go away.

I should never have waited a month to get to this interview with writer, performer, producer Larry Dorf. He has spent the recent past working on a very popular show on The Cartoon Networks Adult Swim called Mike Tyson Mysteries. If you don't know about this show, shame on you. But you're also in my 50 plus demographic so it's to be expected. You have to know about former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson even if you don't follow sports.

But back to Mike Tyson Mysteries… I'm sure you know about the Scooby Doo franchise… in fact we had the recent voice of Shaggy, Will Forte on the show a few weeks ago. Imagine taking the concept of the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine… you know, the van? Only instead of putting "mystery machine" on the side of the van you put Mike Tyson's iconic face tattoo. Instead of velma, you have Mike Tyson's 15 year old adopted Korean daughter for which you create zero justification or backstory as to how he adopted a 15 year old Korean daughter. Throw in an effeminate ghost who happens to dress in Dickensian wardrobe, add a sexist, womanizing, alcoholic pigeon voiced by Norm Macdonald and you have "Mike Tyson Mysteries." It's a very funny and obviously odd show and you should check it out.

We talk to Larry about writing on the show with his two partners Rachel Ramras and Hugh Davidson… who I'm pretty sure I can get on this prestigious podcast at some point.

We talk to Larry about how life has been for him and his family during the pandemic quarantine… or are we calling it a PLAN-demic now? Isn't that an adorable name? I think so too! We also talk about a trip Larry took with his associates to Comic Con one year in San Diego. And if you just said to yourself "Comica… what? What did he say?" It's Comic Con short for Comic Book Convention which includes all types of Animation… you know, for nerds and dorks. Actually nerds and dorks like me. By the way if you've never been to a comic book convention, you are missing out on some WONDERFUL people watching. And by people watching I mean staring at freaks, nerds and geeks. I mean they WANT you to stare at them. It's okay, go ahead. I'm sure there's one near you and you must put it on your bucket list. It's better than the freak show at the county fair, yet oddly similar.

We start our conversation reminiscing about our performing days at the Groundlings Theater in Los Angles. Larry liked to put up autographed head-shots of himself in the dressing area and I remind him of that…

It's an animated visit with Larry Dorf and a GREAT Mike Tyson Comic con story on TMM thanks for listening.

Welcome to another episode of TMM… A sort of multi-episode portion on spin doctors, "Analysts", talking heads and Conspiracy theorists. How they're different and how they're basically the same only some wear fancy suits, have hair and makeup and have a cable news show, while others are conspiracy theorist's that get banned from social media from the idiot Alex Jones all the way to the Conspiracy Theorist in Chief on Pennsylvania Avenue. He's run his first campaign on Conspiracies and he's running his re-election on it. And let's agree for this moronic program that some… SOME conspiracies are true. Most are probably not.. But there is a whole spectrum of conspiracies that have partial truths to them and those truths are used to build the narrative that the snake oil salesmen and women want you to believe. Some are really, really good salespeople, like the folks on CNN and FOX and some are not so good or are even down right terrible… and deciding which salesperson you want to believe is as subjective as deciding which comedian is funny or which artist is worthy of the highest praise. For example, Is it irony that some of Jackson Pollack's most famous paintings are also used to refer to cases of diarrhea? Interesting.

We talk more about Alex Jones, a guy who's made his living on conspiracy theories and who is a community college drop out.

We talk about Rush Limbaugh… another college dropout after two semesters from Missouri State. Directly from his Wikipedia page, take that for what it's worth:

According to his mother, "he flunked everything [...] he just didn't seem interested in anything except radio." Biographer Zev Chafets believes that a large part of Limbaugh's life has been dedicated to gaining his father's respect and approval.

Does that remind you of anyone?

Sean Hannity gets mentioned at one point. He is a political commentator on Fox News and has attended New York University, UC Santa Barbara, and Adelphi University, but did not graduate. Darn it… but we are getting closer to a conservative pundit that does have a college degree. There are plenty I assure you.

For some moronic reason I sent the Senator Part of my opening for this episode and in it I include a list of people who have pretty large platforms to spout their opinions. I guess the questions is, when do opinions and the people selling them turn into something more… apparently the Senator thinks I'm being a bit harsh? Let's find out as we drop in on a conversation between two Morons...

CLOSE: We really bagged on a lot of people in our, or my, self righteous indignation and I'm sure they will all lose a lot of sleep over it, but I do want to point something out about some of the personalities we've bagged on over the past couple of episodes…

I bagged on Alex Jones… community college drop out after about a semester. I bagged on Rush Limbaugh, college dropout. Sean Hannity who we did not talk about but is a prominent figure of Fox… no college degree. And myself with the most advanced education among us three idiots with a bachelor's degree in business administration on the five -year-program.

And then there's Rachel Maddow… she is not a college dropout. She attended a community college called Stanford University. And got a doctorate degree in political science from Oxford University so… whatever Rachel… whatever…. Yes, the ultimate comeback.

Who else… Nancy Pelosi, the queen of passive aggressive nastiness with a scalpel… because she's good at it. But it's still passive aggressive and it's definitely not "holy" as she purports to strive for. And at the same time, can you imagine having to deal with Trump unless you're an absolute yes man or yes person? If you don't kiss his ass and agree with every word that dribbles from his mouth you end up in a juvenile name calling like you're on a playground and you're labeled mentally ill or you have mental problems. Jeff Sessions, who I couldn't stand in the first place and seemed to be showering with Trump is now "mentally unqualified." Doesn't that make Trump mentally unqualified since he's the one who appointed Sessions?

Please Don't Eat Your Neighbor: Why What Alex Jones Just Said Is So Dangerous - Forbes.com

We cover a lot of ground in these next three episodes, with a very general theme of Propaganda, fake news, gossip and conspiracy theories. The lines get greyer and greyer on where news becomes gossip becomes propaganda becomes conspiracy… but they're all big business and they're all vying for your eyes and ears. We talk about the rewards of bad behavior. It just occurred to me that maybe the difference between a personality spinning the news and a personality perpetuating conspiracy theories is a suit, a tie and a three letter Network behind you? Possible? Nah… if you're wearing a suit you must be credible right?

At one point… The Senator commands me to look up some politician for him as if I'm his personal assistant and I have to remind him that he is actually sitting in front of a computer and is capable of doing his own research. THEN… We have two separate conversations about two separate republican candidates to run as Joe Biden's VP candidate and naturally neither of us is listening to the other. Nice work fellas, just like they do on the Political TV shows.

The Senator gives us a history lesson on the foundations of the Democratic and Republican parties, President Lyndon Johnson and the signing of the Civil Rights Act and the contribution of Gerrymandering on our polarized political parties. All through the eyes of a couple of morons. So don't expect even a sliver of factual accuracy.

The recording you're about to hear is at the end of an almost hour long recording session. We were wrapping up and I hit record one more time "just in case" so…

If you've been listening to this Podcast for a while you've probably heard me refer to addiction issues… my latest addiction is varied combinations of chocolate and caramel or any mix of sugar with some more sugar mixed in. I've had issues with other "substances" and I admit to not being very diligent with a twelve step program I have been a part of for a number of years. Listen as the Senator makes even my addiction issues all about him. It's classic Senator on the Modern Moron…

CLOSE: I couldn't even make a straight faced response to that… oh well, I'm not a very good actor. BUT

I'm telling you if Joe Biden had this moron advising him… and why wouldn't he? I'm one of the smartest moron's I know… I would tell him to make it public that he is considering a republican for his running mate and talk to a couple of them. Doesn't mean he has to pick one. But to make it public creates the perception that he's looking to reach across the isle. I think it would be great to actually do it, but to just announce it to shake things up?... I think its a win win. Hope you found something in that episode entertaining or informative… in the next two episodes we'll continue to talk more about conspiracy theorists and their platforms, mostly podcasts, and how they are on the spectrum that starts with hopefully reporting the news, then spinning the news which isn't nearly as bad as spreading propaganda about a subject or a person and then to conspiracy theories: how wild the conspiracy versus how well a particular individual or group can sell the conspiracy.

Welcome to part 2 with Will Forte on the Modern Moron! We talk about what it's like to Create, produce, write and star in your own TV show. I can't even tell you the hours that are put in to just one of those roles and to do all of them is just plain crazy. We talk a lot about that experience of having your dream come true and having that dream be overwhelming. He's facing that challenge and opportunity again with MacGruber which is going to be a limited series on a streaming network.

We also talk about the new Scooby Doo movie that is now available to stream and that while the producers weren't looking for an imitation of Shaggy, Will felt obliged on his own to uphold the tradition of the character originally voiced by Casey Kasem. Remember that name? That's is right in our demographic.

At one point Will is talking about the approach to doing a known cartoon voice and bringing your own take to a character while maintaining the integrity of what people know as a character and I begin telling him how to approach his own successful work. Only a Moron would even attempt such audacity. It comes so easy to me.

Then we talk about a Netflix documentary you should check out called "The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man". It's a real feel good documentary about Bill Murray showing up at random times in random people's lives and really connecting with them. Bill Murray is one of my all time favorites and I just can't say enough about how this documentary makes me happy that I held the right person in such reverence. Will has had the opportunity to meet him during his time on SNL and even HE could muster up the nerve to say hello. It was a really great way to wrap up a conversation with an equally great person in Will Forte.

CLOSE

One of the nicest people you will ever meet. I know I sound prejudice because they're my friends but anyone who knows Will would say the same thing and that goes for Cheryl Hines as well who was on the show about a month ago and we all knew each other and performed together way back when before any of us had careers in front of the camera? Let's change that to before they had careers in front of the camera.

Thank you again to Will Forte… his new movie "Scoob" is available as Video on Demand or Streaming on Demand, I loved it, my daughter loved it, Will made Casey Kasem proud. Be looking for a limited series return of MacGruber, will that include Kristen Wiig? Hmm great question. You would think I would have asked that right. We both know better than to expect that... see you next time.

Welcome to another episode of the Modern Moron! I've always said "there's nothing like a pandemic to nail down a celebrity." Right? You guys have all heard me say that. My guest is Will Forte and the man has a very long… resume including a 7 year run on Saturday Night Live, the creator and star of ironically named "The Last Man on Earth" that's about the last guy left after a pandemic. Do I ask him about that irony? No. Why would I do that? That would make sense, right? And this is the modern MORON, not the common sense show. You see Will literally all over the place… he's starred opposite Bruce Dern who was nominated for an Oscar in his performance in Nebraska in 2013, he wrote and starred in the movie MacGruber, a spoof of the MacGyver series and a recurring sketch on SNL. If you haven't seen MacGruber, you're in for a treat, go rent it and add to the cult following it deservedly has attained. MacGruber is coming back in some form which we will discuss.

I happened to see him in a clip of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and I ask him about that. So, on who wants to be a millionaire he calls someone on his lifeline to help him with a question. Naturally, I'm bent out of shape because he didn't call me and I didn't recognize the guy he did call and naturally I should know all of his friends because don't you know who I am. Long story long, we hear how Hollywood jet setters have dinner dates on the opposite side of the world because they work all over the world and … well that's where the term jet setters comes from.

A quick warning about this episode: especially if you're wearing headphones… at about the 24 minutes mark, Will's dog Ross starts barking… loud. It was the postman… sorry postal carrier, So, be prepared as it might scare you. It certainly scared their little puppy Mudbutt and he needed to be comforted in the middle of this hard hitting interview.

We start our conversation right after we overcame some technical difficulties and Will's mentions his fiance Olivia and how great she is. I have given my blessing already so everyone can rest assured.

CLOSE

What a wonderfully arbitrary place to split up an interview don't you think?

So for all you OCD folks out there, see? You are not alone… this is where the Modern Moron chose to end part 1 of this episode. You would think I'd build in some kind of cliff hanger like, "We'll find out what Will's dog Ross was barking at on the next episode…" but that would have been a good idea. We don't do that here.

By the way, the name of the charity Will is involved with that he spoke about earlier is called the Pangea Network and you can go to their site to find out more and donate as a fan of Will Forte… actually that wouldn't really matter… it's not like he's matching contributions or anything. What if he did? What if you donated to the Pangea Network and mentioned The Modern Moron and Will would match any donation up to one million dollars… he might end up having to write a check for like tens of … dollars. Actually I could probably match any donations without worrying much. So go to thepangeanetwork.org, include the "the" and no spaces… mention The Modern Moron and Will Forte and one of us will match your donation. I'm feeling pretty good about this. Not necessarily on behalf of the Pangea network dot org, but that I'm not going to be on the hook for too much money. But hey, challenge me… the challenge is there to take away the hundreds of thousands of advertising dollars this podcast has generated and I'm putting that on the line. For a good cause.

Thank you Will for being on my little podcast. We'll hear more from you next week. You're also welcome to cast me as a villain on an episode of MacGruber. I mean, it's kind of the least you can do after all the money that's been channeled to the Pangea network. Am I right. You're welcome Will. And Will see you next time… see what I did there? How did not end up on SNL? I don't' get it either.

thepangeanetwork.org

Tim & Eric: Self Massage with Will Grelo - YouTube

Welcome to an episode of the modern moron… I've been AWOL… did you even know that? Does anyone listen to this podcast anymore? Does anyone listen weekly and keep up with it? I don't know. Does anyone know what the hell is going on in this world anymore? I don't.

It's not so much that I'm losing my mind, I think it's that I'm becoming more aware of how crazy I am to start with. I'm having real issues with finishing things I've started and I honestly don't know what that says about me. I have perfectionism issues and if I finish something that gives the world license to find fault with it? I have not idea.

I have two hours worth of interviews I'm putting on hold… one hour with Will Forte! Who will probably bring this tiny podcast more downloads than it's ever had. Unfinished. I have another hour with a writer producer and actor who worked on a show called Mike Tyson Mysteries and has a great Mike Tyson story. Haven't even touched it. So I don't know WTF is wrong with me.

So here's an impromptu conversation with the Senator that I'm just putting out and trying to put minimal post production effort into it. We talk about:

• A fascinating podcast you should check out called "Wind of Change" about the significance of the song of the same name which was a huge hit for the German heavy metal hair band "The Scorpions" in the late 80's. The podcast is a potumentary if you will about the possibility… and it's a very plausible possibility… that the CIA was involved in the creation of the song as it pertains to messaging and propaganda the CIA might have wanted to infiltrate Russia during the fall of the Berlin Wall during… the late 80's. Maybe it's all bullshit… maybe it's propaganda created by Russia and the journalist reporting it took their bate… but it's some great story telling and if you're a fan of rock music as well, it's just frosting on the cake. Either way, it's a very compelling story and you should listen… after listening to the modern moron of course.
• We talk about the The Michael Flynn Case.
• And a couple of documentaries on Netflix. One is called The Unabomber: in his own words.
• The other is called "Have a Nice Trip." celebs talk about their experiences with psychedelic drugs.

CLOSE: Regarding that podcast it's actually 8 parts. The story is told by journalist Patrick Radden Keefe who has written for the New Yorker, Slate, and New York Times Magazine. Rolling Stone Magazine has called Keefe… "...an obsessive reporter and researcher, a master of narrative nonfiction".

Today, we check back in to see what's going on in Colorado with our friend, Stand up comedian Christine Lederman. Yes, she does have a day job until she gets discovered and hits it big. The Hotel Business during a pandemic is like other businesses… not so good. However, for some reason they need to stay open and Christine is an executive in the Hospitality business. She tells us what that's like including guests checking in for "several weeks" presumably to quarantine themselves before heading home wherever that may be.

How would you like to work in housekeeping at this time, or any time cleaning up after people. Another group of heroes in this pandemic.

We wrap up reminiscing about our friend Will Forte who is the voice of Shaggy in the upcoming Scooby Doo movie and is working on a second MacGruber… if you are a fan of MacGruber like me, I'll have more news about that at the end of this episode.

And Christine and I start off talking about a Zoom meeting Passover which immediately gets me talking about Chuck Heston in The Ten Commandments…

It's Corona Covid Commandments in Colorado on The Modern Moron… thanks for listening...

Welcome to another episode of the Modern Moron and we are back in our wheelhouse… no more celebrities. Unless you consider the Senator a celebrity. He certainly does.

The Senator insists that Trump mentioned the corona virus in his State of the Union address to which I say is impossible and surprise, I was wrong.

We mention governor Greg Abbott who is the governor of Texas as he deals with conservative activists who claim that their right to gather for religious service is "Essential".

Apparently organized religion in Texas is as essential as professional wrestling is in Florida. Both are true stories we will address. A couple of morons talking about a whole lot of morons.

Then we really swing for the fences as the Senator finds a very interesting matter in California government where a ONE BILLION dollar contract for protective masks has been struck with a company in CHINA. One Billion dollars to make masks for California. 200 MILLION MASKS PER MONTH in fact.

What is the name of the company? Who owns the company that California is spending ONE BILLION dollars? The company is called BYD and is owned by a gentleman named Wang Chuanfu. We'll get to big Wang at the end and his company's ties to a guy named Warren Buffet.

Oh, and in the midst of all of this the poor Senator realizes he is incapable of pronouncing the plural of Mask… which is masks. The "sks" part can be tricky I guess, but this guy doesn't even attempt it. At least we get to laugh, right?

CLOSE

Wow… what a big mess right?

A lot of questions too complicated for Morons like us to handle. So, instead I guess politicians will do it, sound good? Here are just a few arguments that might be posed:

1. A lot of business people would agree that the timing of a business deal is very important. Acquiring N95 masks is difficult and Newsome may have felt he needed to move fast to get a deal for masks secured, making this an emergency procurement. Okay, maybe so…
2. One of the reasons government is so bloated is due to the extra levels of transparency that are supposed to be in place to prevent corruption, etc. In this case a committee was formed for such procurements and it appears Newsom went rogue and said himself in a statement that this is the "wild wild west".
3. Maybe he had to move fast and was acting in the best interests of his citizens. Maybe he was also lining the pockets of potential campaign contributors like Warren Buffet for his future presidential run?

Regardless, this is exactly the time you don't want to make a decision like this on your own. That's why you appoint a committee or task force with experts and then trust them to make the call. Because when you do so and you give ONE BILLION dollars to a company that has a reputation for faulty products AND is owned by a contributor to democratic campaigns, IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. Trump banned the company from doing business, okay you're a democrat and don't trust trump, but you also have a company that's got a terrible reputation with contracts they already have IN YOUR OWN STATE according to the L.A. Times and you made a deal with them anyway. It doesn't look good Governor gruesome, and you were doing so well!

In late 2009, his worth grew to $5.1 billion and was crowned China's richest man on the Hurun Report. This was due largely to a fivefold increase in his company's value after Berkshire Hathaway bought 225 million new shares of BYD in 2008. Birkshire Hathaway = Warren Buffet. Does that mean anything? Hmm… Buffet has contributed to democratic candidates in the past including Hillary Clinton. Maybe Gavin Newsome as well? Hmm.

Links:

Newsom's mask deal shows tendency for big plans, few details - AP

Glorious Way Church, Texas and COVID-19: A (stupid) Statement

Trump Blacklisted This Chinese Company. Now It's Making Coronavirus Masks for U.S. Hospitals - VICE (Left-Center Bias)

Good Moron to you…yes, this is a lengthy episode, HOWEVER in this episode we finish our conversation with Cheryl Hines! And we cover a lot of ground. Among other things we talk about:

The Kennedy rights-of-passage that she had to undergo before marrying into the Kennedy family which may or may not have included secret passageways underneath Martha's Vinyard and Hyannis Port.

Whether Cheryl had to take a closed door blood oath before the actual marriage vows were exchanged before being indoctrinated into the Kennedy family. Spoiler alert: I just made that up. She didn't.

She talks a bit about the Kennedy family and how they're a lot like most families… large families that is, and they're a lot more laid back than we project in our minds about them. She mentions the matriarch of the family Ethel who is RFK's widow and 92 years old. They had eleven children together. Eleven… So, yeah… big family.

We talk about our first jobs in Los Angeles when were struggling actors. Cheryl went on to become a star and I'm certainly no longer a struggling actor… I'm just struggling. Thank you very much. (rimshot)

And a crazy story of Cheryl having to go to a State Hospital which is the equivalent of a Stanley Kubrik film version of The Shining which happened just as the very first Curb Your Enthusiasm HBO special was airing so she was literally on the verge of having a real career and there she is in a state hospital slash looney bin.

We're Shootin' the Sh*t with Cheryl, which is a live streaming show of hers that YOU can be a part of and I'll tell you about at the end on the Modern Moron

CLOSE

So there you have it, The Modern Moron is now the official platform when Cheryl Hines wants to … um, have a platform.

Actually if you're a superfan of Cheryl's you can go to https://www.officialcherylhines.com/ that's all one word, she has an online show right now Called "Shootin' the Shit with Cheryl" and you can get some face-time with Cheryl and her guest. It's a weekly live streaming event. Go to the site, click RSVP and you can get a link to the show! It's currently on zoom so there are a limited number of spaces per week. I'll put a link at the bottom. My thanks again to Cheryl and we'll see you next time on the Modern Moron.

officialcherylhines.com

Welcome to another episode of the Modern Moron and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pretty excited about this episode, even though it means changing one of our healthy slogans. We can no longer claim that this program is 100% celebrity free, because my guest is Cheryl Hines from Curb Your Enthusiasm! They just finished their return to HBO and you would think I would want to ask her about that.

But… this is the Modern Moron and also, while I don't know a lot of celebrities, the one's I do know I've known for a pretty long time and Cheryl and I go pretty far back. So far back that I'm splitting this episode into at least two parts, maybe three. I'm gonna milk this for all it's worth. I may be a moron but i'm not an idiot.

Cheryl and I talk about being cooped up in quarantine with seven… count 'em seven others ranging in age from 16 to I guess their 20's? Including her husband Bobbie Kennedy who is not in his 20's… I don't think, he looks very young for his age though.

We talk about Texas Hold 'em poker, which she is a pretty avid poker player and has played in some tournaments. She has a regular group she plays with that include some (other celebrities)... yeah, they all hang out together.

We talk about her sister who is a doctor, thank you very much, working for United Cerebral Palsy of Central Florida and the University of Central Florida in teaching teachers to create curriculum for students of all types from gifted accelerated programs to specialized programs tailored to kids with any and all learning challenges . Only now it all has to be done virtually so there are challenges in dealing with that as well. And if I got any of that wrong, I will hear about it and correct it!

Then we get into a discussion about her husbands minivan. … Yeah, that's what I said. He's a very successful attorney, author… professor… and I'm pretty sure he can drive um… something else. But he genuinely likes driving a minivan. I think that might have been what attracted Cheryl to Bobby in the first place but she won't cop to it.

So, I'm very excited to Have Cheryl Hines on The Modern Moron! Now, let's see this is the 64th episode with one celebrity so 1 divided by 64, carry the 7… STILL 98.5% celebrity free… Somewhere around there… thanks for listening.

CLOSE

Hollywood privilege… C'mon share the wealth on the teleporting Hollywood.

Bobby, I want you to know that I have a truck if you even just want to try one out. It's a slightly ding'd up Ford F150, nice enough that it's good transportation, but beat up enough that you don't care if it gets another scratch. Aslo, just throwing this out…. There's Carmax… and I've taken the liberty of including a link at the bottom of the description of this episode to a nice 2009 KIA Sedona EX… for $9,998. For a nominal fee we would have CarMax bring it to Los Angeles… or Boston as the case may be, from um, El Paso, Texas… they do that kind of thing all the time, so don't worry.

It's a single owner, a new pair of tires to meet Carmax standards, it's got power sliding doors so if you've got groceries or you've got your hands full of dead opossums and racoons…. Bam! Electric doors. Says here its also had a deep clean on the interior so you can start out fresh.

Nice Kia Sedona under 10 grand.

Next time on the Modern Moron I will continue my chat with Cheryl Hines which will include a story about buying a car ironically and some hand holding that had to occur for one of us. We'll leave the details of that for later. Until then stay safe and healthy, get out your sewing kits and let's all make some masks, wash your hands, all that stuff.. An you know what? Give away at least ONE roll of toilet paper to someone. Seriously, knock it off with the toilet paper nonsense. See you next time.

2009 Sedona EX with 101K Miles - Carmax.com

https://www.ucpcharter.org/