Let me start by saying this is not a place to go for news and information about the corona virus… at least not for information that is accurate in ANY way. But I think you know that already. I will also say that it is inevitable that I will make attempts at humor regarding this astounding global situation. That’s the way I cope, if your way of coping is to be deadly serious or to panic then this is not the program for you. Remember I said attempt humor, I didn’t say anything about actually being funny.
In today’s episode we make a surprise call to the Senator on a Friday… the Friday the 13th actually when it seemed to this moron that everything, especially schools and public events began to shut down for extended periods although it was a few days after the NBA suspended it’s season indefinitely and other sporting events had begun to follow suit including the NCAA basketball tournament known as March Madness. This year we have a different version of that.
Speaking of sports and to give you something that is NOT corona related, last week the US Women’s National team won the “2020 She Believes” tournament for I think the 3rd time?
Not only did it end up being one of the last live sporting events before everything changed, the story lies in the women’s protest against U.S. Soccer Federation. The Women’s team has filed a gender discrimination lawsuit against the Federation for equal pay to the US Men’s team.
Now, the men’s team is… not good to put it mildly. The men’s team couldn’t even get invited to the last world cup.
The Women’s team was invited to the last women’s world cup… and they won… again. Not only have they won back to back World Cup Titles, they have won 4 of the last 8 world cups. Yeah, Half going back to 1991.
Here’s the best part, and this is from a local CBS affiliate in Texas, although the story cites the Associated Press in regards to the “She Believes Tournament” in Texas which is a prep tournament for this coming Summer Olympics “if they are even held at this point”
The increasingly bitter dispute between the American women’s national soccer team and the U.S. Soccer Federation spilled onto the field Wednesday night when players wore their warm-up jerseys inside out in a protest before their 3-1 victory over Japan.
Players filed a gender discrimination suit against the USSF last year, a case scheduled for trial starting May 5 in federal court in Los Angeles. The USSF submitted legal papers this week claiming that the women are less skilled and have less-demanding roles than the men on its national team.
By wearing their jerseys inside out for the national anthems and team photo, players hid the USSF crest on the jerseys but allowed the four stars — one for each World Cup title — to be visible.
I picked a tournament, that being Wimbledon to see what’s up with their prize money and what I found was that they have been splitting the same prize money equally since 2007. As of 2019, all four of tennis' Grand Slams award equal prize money to the men's and women's champions. True, tennis is not a team sport, but we’re talking about money, right?
Look, if it’s about money… the women’s soccer games generate more revenue than the men’s soccer games ... it’s about attracting eyeballs and putting asses in the seats. If you had the US men and women’s soccer teams play equivalent opponents on the same day, I’m watching the women. They’ve establish a successful, winning brand. Hell, the men’s team can’t even get invited to the world cup, let alone win 4 out of the last 8 world cups.
Don’t get me wrong, I still think I’m sexist, and you might argue that when I said the men’s team couldn’t even get invited to the last world cup you might say, “that’s how much tougher Men’s soccer is compared to women’s soccer.” Well, you may be right. I don’t know enough to make that kind of a judgement other than to say I think it’s BS. But again, it usually boils down to money and the women’s team generates more revenue than the men’s team so… ya know… suck it.
So… my phone call with the Senator… It was recorded Friday as a number of School Districts were closing down for 2 to 3 weeks and the weekend was starting to look like a not very social weekend. Oh, and I didn’t tell the senator I was recording the call at first. I made sure I had his approval before publishing it and I have to say, The Senator is a trooper when it comes to opening his Komono and letting out otherwise private information which you will hear him reveal right before I tell him I’m recording the call.
Yes, we obviously talk all things Corona, that television studio audiences for late night shows and in some cases entire productions have been shut down. In true moron fashion, neither of us can remember the names of any actors or celebrities like Conan O’brien’s sidekick Andy Richter. Can’t think of his name. Then I remember Andy Richter’s name while the Senator is trying to remember a city in Italy and then he jumps to Ramadan and we can’t remember what country Mecca is in. It’s like two separate conversations are going on and it’s exactly why this show has the word Moron in it. You’ll see.
Our discussion of late night sidekicks takes me down a rabbit hole and I include an old clip of the Tonight Show from 1977 where Johnny Carson is talking with an inebriated Ed McMahon who apparently had one too many before the show. Please remember the great comedic looks Johnny would give to the camera that were perfectly timed and I like to believe they were inspired by Jack Benny. How’s that for a Boomer reference?
There’s a brief discussion about a mutual friend’s son who is in college and doing quite well in his university’s drama department. Then, we get some inside information into the world of finance from the Senator as he does keep up on the stock market and particularly interest rates. “He reads a lot” as he puts it.
Then towards the end, surprise, we get in an argument when the senator tells me his knowledge of music and fashion are “on the cutting edge.” I’m afraid I have to call bullshit on that one and I take him to task… on both music and fashion. And you know who he wants to talk about in the world of fashion? Ralph Lauren. Please… tell me how Ralph Lauren is on the cutting edge of fashion in 2020. The Senator is a moron and that is why he should be a mainstay of this program and it’s why I love him.
Also, this is a recording of a phone call and the quality of the audio reflects that. I’m not crazy about that but it might make it easier to get guests for this thing. Feel free to let us know by going to TheModernMoron.com and reaching out. You can also feel free to click subscribe and share and all that other stuff I never remember to beg for.
So it’s a semi-viral hodge-podge with a peppering of personal hygiene practices on the Modern Moron and as always, thank you for listening.
Ed McMahon Appears Drunk on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show 1977 - YouTube
2020 She Believes Cup - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FIFA_Women%27s_World_Cup
WBNX CBS Texas affiliate on women's soccer protest