Them's The Breaks

Gather round you triskaidekaphobics out there, and fear not as we take you into the warm and safe bosom of our Them’s The Breaks August Bank Holiday Special! 

And what a Special show we have. I’m not talking about us, of course - you can expect the usual old slop - but the Jim Davidson Special, which is the host show in question for this break. And what delights he delivers – potentially literally if you buy into the conspiracy theory we get sucked into during this episode.

It’s an exquisite irony that a man who was soon to be known for Big Break should give us such a small break. The smallest we’ve so far covered, no less. But less, as is so often the case, is more. 

We get an abstract expressionist take on laundry powder, whilst checking both our privilege and our wash temperature. We explore the confusing Bernard/ Bruno interface by means of a bit of the old ready-rubbed, all as Jon ponders a pipe dream. 

We then beat a staccato rhythm to the pleasing, cleansing pulse of a vision of one nation under a hose, getting spruced just for the funk of it. And we round up this cavalcade of joy with what might be our first mock-patrician voiceover telling tall tales of a sweltering Britain, and are given a coy introduction to an 80s ad A-lister. This triggers a memory of when a 7-year-old Martin sowed the seeds of the ethos of this very podcast. 

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://youtu.be/QMpA_Jet1eE?is=-AagUT02hXEXgktM

Many thanks to Kaleidoscope's Presentation Vault for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So we’ve reached a dozen episodes, and, as a treat, we’ve allowed ourselves day release from the mid-80s to hurtle through time to… the late-80s.

It’s late 1988, the 88-89 season, if you will, and the decade is bursting into colour and creativity once again. And if you need to ask if that’s reflected in this ad break, well, you’ve not really been paying attention so far, have you?

Still, we find solace in an extra treat: we’re joined for this episode by Iain McDermott, creator and host of the wonderful Back to Now! podcast.

He takes a break from trawling through Now! compilation track listings for obscure, forgotten gems to help us sift through this break for obscure, forgotten, er, ads.

And what of them? 

A director gets art-housey with some biccies. 

Persil (and Iain) school us in the catalogue of the post-Diana Ross Supremes, whilst seeing if a baby can pat a packet of washing powder more than Persil’s marketers can pat themselves on the back.

We get misty-eyed about a group of soldiers of fortune bundling into a back of a van, sent to their homes for a culinary crime they didn’t commit.

We then move from a beef-adjacent steak to a hefty serving of portentous Gambon, before being repeatedly whacked on the head with a spate of wacky snack action. 

After all that trauma, it’s time to take it nice and easy in the warm, comforting embrace of some heavy berber, and then up again to tackle the most radical corporate metamorphosis this humble podcast has yet, and probably ever will, encounter. 

Oh, and we need to talk about Prince.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14Mg4wWrRro&list=PLgz-lhXv5NMneIqCYzyCl-LylXrsS1DV6&index=10

Many thanks to The Ashmole-Day Collection for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, double figures reached, once more unto the breach.

And brace ourselves we must as we venture into the wilds of God’s Own County. 

Luckily, southern softy Martin has Yorkshire Television native Jon to be his guide. 

At first, it’s hard to see anything different, the ads are as reassuringly national and branded as always. 

First, we learn that when two great building societies meet, it is a humbling experience.

“Let me hear your bo-bozouki’s ringing out, honey disconnect the fridge” we then cry as we expand our culinary horizons with strained yoghurt presented to the strains of Greek music.

We then go back to something rarefied and soothing and debate what sort of car denotes how recently you earned your fortune, all the to backdrop of the retelling of a close encounter of the voice-over artist kind. 

Next we reminiscence on headache-induced first encounters with a magnum opus, and then learn a surprising amount about neolithic history from a neophyte crisp brand. 

We watch and re-watch an ad for Xerox, yet still do not copy, before finally getting deep down and dirty in the deep dales. 

We appraise the most local ad we’re ever likely to encounter, and then one of us gets misty eyed at a glimpse of the type of 80s club culture soon to be lost to a tsunami of MDMA and lax door policies. 

Oh, and there’s a few trailers to hitch our wagon to as well. 

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6S84hCyFhk&list=PLgz-lhXv5NMneIqCYzyCl-LylXrsS1DV6&index=2

We mention friend of the show Nik’s great broadcaster logo t-shirts in this episode – here’s a link to his store: 

https://beebthings.redbubble.com

Many thanks to studio2television for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 10 – Radio Killed The Video Star (12 Apr 1986 ITV Central – Reebok, Ryvita, Electricity Board, Halifax, Philips, Renault) 

We are 10! Well, not in years, but we’ve hit the big one-zero in episodes.

To celebrate we’ve treated ourselves, and you, to a very special guest. 

John Rain from the magnificent SMERSHPOD takes a break from dissecting films to help us parse some ads. 

And, my my, what ads. We’re deep in the mid 80s once again and, my my, it shows. 

Reebok gives us a montage of fitness opportunities, but its high-fashion sketchy style only feeds the suspicion its product was being used to sketchier ends. Ryvita passes the Bechdel Test, but in a way emptier even than the calorie content in its, mark you, wholemeal crispbread. The Electricity Board shows that it’s not to be undone by Gas (see TTB4) in the self-congratulatory, come-and-privatise me stakes. Halifax perfects the trick of offering simultaneously high and low interest. Philips takes us on a tragical history tour of recorded sound, and tells us the correct format for enjoying Punk Rock, before Renault shows us the Me-decade’s altruistic side by giving half its airtime to the capital’s king of the airwaves.

Contains marginally more than the correct amount of swearing.

If you want to hear more from John Rain – seek out his wonderful SMERSHPOD podcast on all your usual platforms. 

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://youtu.be/h2lzOLdHu50?is=oz0el7QXT0-5Zbc-

Many thanks to MrBetamax for releasing this clip into the world. 

Also a big shout out to our friends at the UKADs Facebook group – look them up for daily 70s, 80s, and 90s UK TV ad deep cuts.

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Episode 9 and we’re ad jingling all the way into our Christmas Special! 

Well, sort of. 

Your hosts are children of the 80s, which means they were children in the 80s. That’s how it works. And how do you make a Christmas work for an 80s child? You shower it in plastic. 

And my my, we’re squeegeeing up oceans of the stuff in this episode. 

But it ain’t easy – it’s all over the place: Mr Pop catapults it to that unreachable spot under the sofa, it then Air Blasts its way over the horizon, before expanding our tiny minds by weaving wowsome geometric patterns.

And it continues! The Kraftwerk track “Metal on Metal” conjures an unnerving know the industrial Sturm and Drang. Yet it’s as nothing to the disquiet of Plastic on Plastic – as demonstrated by the frenzied trigger mashing of our four young hippopotamus / hippotami factotums/ factoti in the ad at the epicentre of this break.

We then rocket beyond the atmosphere to forlornly discover that Planet Earth is blue, and there’s nothing (G)I can do, before returning back home for the shock discovery that a jam car today will inevitably not mean a jam car tomorrow. 

In the midst of all this, we see that Smart TVs have always been with us, but that smart early evening TV certainly wasn’t.

This is all housed within an episode of Thunderbirds, so we get to go in-depth on a puppetmaster pulling the strings. Oh, and Kenneth makes a welcome reappearance, where we get to go in-depth on why he was pulling a rope.

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://youtu.be/tWPoRYwi9gQ?si=qbCQc-paGtYmDL3R

Many thanks to Kaleidoscope's Presentation Vault for releasing this clip into the world. 

Also a big shout out to our friends at the UKADs Facebook group – look them up for daily 70s, 80s, and 90s UK TV ad deep cuts.

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Episode 8 and it’s our very first listener request! 

Many thanks to Andrew Pinnell for suggesting this one and finally letting us have a go at Martin’s favourite year, 1989.

As it transpires, Martin may actually have watched this very ad break very near the time – as a precursor to some colossal disappointment. 

The ad break itself, we’re pleased to say, delivers.

Lloyds does our job for us in pricking the pomposity of the Patrician Male, and shows us the 90s is in the post (modern).

Lunn Poly engenders a mini-crisis as we question how we’re meant to live in a world of arbitrary moral justice. And questionable distinctive asset building.

Double Decker gives us a row of inconsequential Consequences to chew on. 

Shreddies lead us down a Roger-Rabbithole, whilst Beechams begs the question: what else needs exorcising beyond the common cold? 

And then, stand back! Here she comes! Heeeeere’s Beattie! And she-eee aaa-and Mrs, Mrs Jones: they’ve got a thing, going on.

In yet another TTB First, bookending the break we also have two, frankly meagre, TV show trailers to ponder. 

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKtapOl3VMc

Many thanks to The Ingest Department Collection for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Episode 7 and it’s our Back to School special! 

Well, not quite. In fact, Jon and Martin, your hosts, would have only been starting school for the very first time at this point. 

As it transpires, the film that houses this break is entirely apposite for Martin’s early school experiences. But what of the ad break? 

We kick off with a paper wrongly read by millions, fronted by a man wrongly hated by millions, encouraging us to enter a competition that resulted in a man wrongly spending a million. From there we high kick our way to the countryside to interrogate the sinister side of Mr Kipling, whilst begrudgingly admiring his ingenuity. We bemoan a lazy use of celebrities, before celebrating Carling’s far more skilful use of one. Certainly more skilful than a former World Champion’s cueing ability. Domestos then introduces us for the first and surely not the last time to an ever-present hero of 80s advertising.

There now follows a party political broadcast on behalf of the Conservative Party.

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sJWskldaw8

Many thanks to The Ashmole-Day Collection for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s Episode 6 and it’s our Summer Holiday special! 

But how? Why would a Summer special focus on an ad break from deep in the festive period? 

Booking cycles, old bean, booking cycles: unlike Martin’s dad, most people book their summer hols in Jan or Feb – so we have four ads here that are fluffers for that post-festive ritual. 

And what a contrasting four ads they are: Club 18-30 implies a host of Close Encounters - and shows a world as alien to early 80s Britain as it is to your two hosts. Holimarine serves as a grainy, gritty corrective to such high-gloss nonsense. Danish Seaways makes Jon seriously reconsider his City Break plans, and Thomas Cook show the brand-building yin to Episode 2’s call-to-action yang.

In between we also have the more everyday escapes of cigarillos & alcohol, where we debate the merits of seemingly futile one-upmanship, and what on earth makes a beer worth staying in for.

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QPBeyk2vYA

Many thanks to Kaleidoscope for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 5 and we’re taking a short hop further back to 1983.

It’s the graveyard that is early January, but the nation is being pepped up by the UK TV premiere of “Superman”, a super speedy 5 years after its cinematic release!

So, what super brands are riding on his, er, cape tails? 

Colgate bring in Arthur Fowler, or is it an alien decoy? Philips turn something potentially wildly exciting into a more phlegmatic experience. Homepride bring us something that is less translatable to 2025 than anything else we’ve seen so far. Portland Holidays provide little intrigue beyond the colour of some swimwear. Kattomeat lead us on a big tangent on parenting theory. And Morrissey. Can Martin evaluate Holsten Pils in even a halfway objective fashion given one of its unfortunate 80s and 90s associations? KFC have a fine line in beige slapstick, and we finish with a Beefy finale from Shredded Wheat to give us a bit of oomph right at the end. 

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlTM9CEcZKE

Many thanks to The Ashmole Day Collection for releasing this clip into the world. 

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 4 and we’re in the very crucible of the “crap” 80s: 1986.

It’s late June and it’s early-period Bond. And yet, for an even-then ancient film, this ad break sees us dancing with the big boys, two of the very biggest boys in fact.

So what would make McDonald’s and Coca-Cola come out for this? Could it have something to do with what’s lurking in the shadows of the evening schedules? We won’t give the game away, but Martin’s six year old self is about to experience the opening salvo of a lifetime of sporting disappointment. 

So what of the ads? We get a want-away plea from a public service; Polycell puts the Special into SAS; McDonald’s squares the global/ local circle, whilst suggesting that the BBC canteen couldn’t have been up to much; we realise that Windsor has a third dubious institution beyond a royal seat and a school for scoundrels; lastly, we snort caffeinated soda out through our nostrils laughing about what substance must have been travelling in the opposite direction among the cast and crew of our final ad.

Contains the correct amount of swearing.

You can find the ad break in question here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&si=jIrmNAa2Ij9i7Ibf&v=WsBa4o65AgM&feature=youtu.be

Many thanks to The Ashmole Day Collection for releasing this clip into the world.

If you remember any of these ads and want to comment on them, or the show in general, you can find us here: 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568524318900

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.