Therapists Are People Too (T.A.P.T.)

In this week's episode, we tackle our journey through adult development in our thirties. Listen as we talk about our spiritual and emotional healing journeys, health and physiological changes, and discovering our passions and career goals. Dive in as we discuss and get deep about our relationship experiences, compromise and “that list”, self-esteem and self-worth, and adult development.

Erik Erikson is the bomb.

Key takeaways for this week’s episode:

1. This is your unique story and it’s kind of beautiful. It is okay that your life is not moving in a linear pattern. Let yourself just move where life takes you. Keep climbing that evolutionary staircase.

2. Breakups (friendship or romantic) are the best. What?! They are necessary for your growth. You get a better understanding of who we are, and very clear about our value system.

3. We love tacos, tacos, and tacos (and now made with vegan cheese). We also have more aches and pains now. No one likes to do lunges but we do need to exercise. We must invest in our physical health and wellness in order to remain healthy and energetic.

4. As you get older what is important to you becomes clearer. Friends become family. We feel the need to build community and interdependence and have meaningful relationships and connections with others.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss our thoughts about the Netflix limited series called Unorthodox. Listen as we talk about the true story of a woman named Esty who yearns to find herself, Esty’s transition into womanhood, and the impact of freedom and liberation on one’s mind, body, and soul. Dive in as we discuss the limitations of short television shows, and how it left us wanting more.

Also? which accent is that, Sabeen?! What?!

Key takeaways from this episode:

1. Some that identify with the main character may watch this series through the lens of protectiveness for Orthodox Jews. The “poor girl oppressed by her people and needing to escape” is an old trope. What does it look like to be raised in a culture that you do feel a part of?

2. Once again we become confused and disappointed that liberties have been taken to create a more dramatic and juicy storyline. Take some time to research Esty’s real-life story.

3. Some may see cultish and/or concerning elements within this story. The importance of preserving the Jewish culture and its values is, what is at the core of the plotline is the imbalance of preserving Jewish culture and values with an individual’s desire for a secular lifestyle. Did the rigidity of religious practice, philosophy, and ideology eliminate Esty’s soul?

4. The sexual education in this story was more progressive than what we have seen in society and of our own experiences.

5. We would love to see Esty’s rebirth and reclamation of her life. Can we get a Season 2? Please?!

For questions and share outs and further please contact us at [email protected].

Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)
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In this week's episode, we discuss our post-election reactions

Listen as we talk about our raw, real, and unfiltered feelings after the longest week on earth, how we are back to dealing with regular racism as opposed to the Trump racism, and how divided the American people are today.

Dive in as we discuss how everything has a season and THAT season is over! And guess what homie?! You about to lose yo job!

Check out Dr. Kiona’s post at @howtolivelikeabasicbitch about the nuances for people of color and marginalized groups and voting for Trump.

Key takeaways for this week’s episode:

1. Today is a new day. Biden and Harris have arrived to save the day...right? Well...for one day everything felt okay.

2. You know what?! Being a social worker is political. So we are going to talk about our viewpoints and our political stance because there is not a separation between social justice and healing. Straight up. Point blank and period.

3. We can focus on the 50 percent that voted for that man or we can focus on the possibility of hope. Challenge yourself to bask in the moment albeit hard. It may take a little while but light will always prevail.

4. So sit back, pause, breathe, and do not forget to keep your eyes open and your eyes open. Pay attention to this new administration’s policy development and practices going forward. Stay connected and informed and of course woke (but not so woke that you cannot take a joke from Dave Chapelle).

5. Frantzces is still not coming back to live in the US. Whomp, whomp, whomp.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

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In this week's episode, we discuss self- sabotage and why we have a hard time accepting joy in our lives. Listen as we talk about the correlation between joy and vulnerability and how we have been accustomed to chaos or drama.

Dive in as we discuss how culture and childhood experiences influence you. Watch out for your use of sarcasm because it can scare people away! Omg, we did not suggest a book, podcast, or anything else during this episode. No. Wait. We dropped our fellow social work sista Dr. Brené Brown @brenebrown and her groundbreaking work on vulnerability!!!!

Key takeaways from this episode:

1. Try on the act of accepting compliments. Yes, it is an action and behavior to engage in in order to be able to hear healthy and positive feedback about yourself.

2. How can I lean into joy and accept it in small doses? Look for the everyday joys and let them permeate your life in a healthy and happy way.

3. Learn to appreciate and to express gratitude for what is going well in the moment.

4. Sit with the idea that to accept joy is also to be rooted in self- esteem and your sense of worthiness.

5. Look at how culture and your childhood experience shapes your ability to embrace joy and happiness.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

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In this week's episode, we discuss the major red flags to identify in relationships. Listen as we talk about online dating, communication styles, and identifying insecurities in a partner. Dive in as we discuss ghosting, gaslighting, and the power of intuition. It’s ok to do a needs assessment and a mental health status exam. That is our superpower as therapists and healers.

Key takeaways for this week’s episode:

1. You ain’t that busy. Consistent communication is one of the most important factors in having a healthy relationship. Let someone know that you are busy and that you will get back to them. That demonstrates respect for the other person and intentionality in a relationship.

2. Watch what they say and then watch what they do. Behavior is a key indicator of how someone feels about you. Ghosting can happen to you very suddenly or after months of dating someone. People avoid hard conversations because that is easier for them. If you have been ghosted move on. Stop looking for closure because you probably will never know why you were ghosted.

3. Please, please, PLEASE watch out for gaslighting and narcissism. These are signs of emotional abuse and manipulation. It is usually subtle. Let’s stop trying to make excuses for other people’s behaviors. Let’s stop trying to turn them into people they are not. Move on. RUN.

4. Ask yourself: Am I l continuing to come across the same types of people? Who am I allowing into my world and why? Be aware of the other person’s patterns but also look at your own patterns. You have to take responsibility for your actions too. You can have grace for people that are trying hard to change.

5. Good luck. May the force be with you. Love always wins but...love yourself first then try to date.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

In this week's episode, we discuss our obsession with social media and how it impacts our lives. Listen as we talk about the Tik Tok rabbit hole, how we discovered the term “doomscrolling” and why we both love and hate social media.

Dive in as we discuss our choices about who we follow and the impact of daily usage on our psyches, creepy algorithms, and giving up your right to privacy. You too, TAPT followers, should be obsessed with cat videos.

Which social media platforms help you think, escape, laugh, and dance? We love @embracingblackculture @iamtabithabrown
@djnice @hownottotravellikeabasicbitch @coffeemeetsbagel @overheardquarentinelife @glennondoyle

Key takeaways from this episode:

1. You have choices about the types of platforms that you use and which accounts you choose to follow. Using social media to connect and engage with people is the original intent behind many platforms. So focus on that and your “doomscrolling” with be justified, right?

2. There are probably more positive reasons to use social media than negative reasons. Many people use social media to gain access to news and information around the world. Information and knowledge is power.

3. Now we are forced to “live online” for work and school purposes. Do not forget to take screen breaks by getting up and moving around and stretching. Also, do those blue light blocking lenses really work?! The jury is still out on this one but it will not hurt to buy a cheap pair and test them out.

4. Is it possible to erase your digital footprint? If you buy anything online well...it’s too late. No seriously if you’re willing to put time and money into hiring someone to help you then give it a shot.

5. You can’t follow Tonika’s personal page but follow her public page @ms_claiborneinthebldg as she documents this unprecedented year in education and counseling. :)

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].
Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

In this week's episode, we discuss the unfortunate and untimely passing of beloved actor Chadwick Boseman. This is a heavy episode for us, y’all. Listen as we talk about black excellence and representation in media, stepping into your life’s purpose, and living a full life. Dive in as we discuss medical racism and cancer diagnoses, facing your fears, and the power of human potential. Please check out the two documentaries that were mentioned in this episode: What the Health and Fork and Knife. Now go ahead and watch ALL of Chadwick’s movies.

Key takeaways from this episode:

1. People do not always remember what you said but they remember how you make them feel. it’s how you make people feel. He just seemed like a good ass person. A genuine person with grace.

2. “You don’t have to have the same exact experience as a black actor as you do a white actor”. -Chadwick Boseman. He was upfront and acknowledged the racial discrimination and race-based trauma and oppression in Hollywood.

3. What is the meaning of legacy? We don’t know why Chadwick continued to work as hard as he did but we are grateful that he left behind an incredible body of work. Brown and black boys will forever be positively impacted and inspired by his roles and who he was a man.

4. Something has to change. Things MUST change. We need research on brown and black bodies and we need to change the managed care system. Black men must have colon cancer screenings prior to age 45.

5. The year 2020 has forced us to reflect upon the lessons learned. Live your life with purpose and to the fullest. Strive to be more compassionate, empathetic, and walk with grace. This is the time to stop and pause and think about how you will live your life with intention.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].

Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

In this week's episode, we tackle our favorite transformational practice: “doing the work”. Yes, we finally break down how we do the work!

Listen as we talk about emotional intelligence, self- reflection, and the process of noticing and the process of slowing down. Dive in as we discuss the steps we take towards acceptance, engagement in self-evaluation, and how relationships start to change when you focus on holistic wellness.

Ask yourself: Is “doing the work” actually working?

Check out the books entitled How to be an Adult in Relationships and Five Things We Cannot Change by David Richo.
Frantzces, can we PLEASE get that book list?! We have been patiently waiting for it.

Key takeaways from this episode include:

1. Let us get back to the basics of self- love. We need to engage in therapy, create and uphold boundaries, take medications as prescribed, and spend time with ourselves. What are the actions steps that you take to heal and evolve? Self- love, and evolution should always be the focus and it will lead you to discover your best self.

2. The work starts with developing a relationship with yourself. You know what you should do, but you do not like the response that your intuition/ gut/ higher being is telling you. Create a healthy distance between yourself and others so that you can BE WITH yourself. You will discover what your core values are and you will trust yourself and your intuition more.

2. “True independence is interconnectedness”. The biggest thing you can achieve in life is to be vulnerable with people, but not at the cost of your happiness or well being. It is possible to take space and to also maintain a social connection. It is a balancing act.

4. Doing the work is a process of reflection and recovery. There is a certain level of acceptance that some days are harder than others. Focus on how you react and respond to others and do not take everything so personally. Also, look at that person with compassion and grace. Let go of the negative energy and experiences.

5. Be open to feedback and external cues that you receive from others, especially when you hear it multiple times. Try to receive the information and use it as a tool for self- reflection. Take into consideration that such information may possibly be true and real. This will help you grow.

6. The bottom line is to go ‘head and DO THAT WORK. Stay home and wear your masks and reflect.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].

Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.
-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

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In this week's episode, we review the trending Netflix reality show called Indian Matchmaker.

Listen as we talk about the concept and process of arranged marriages, why dating is like in the year 2020, and what it means, looks and feels like to date with intention. Dive in as we discuss colorism, the ranking system in South Asian countries, and the implications of dating a “hot” or a “boring” person. Hurry up and write that relationship book, Tonika!

Key takeaways from this episode include:

1. We are all one step away from having a “When Harry a Met Sally” love story. Well, unless you have an arranged marriage. Relationships, whether arranged or not, often start off being focused on physical attraction and what each person brings to the table. They have the potential to grow into long term love based unions when both people are invested in one another.

2. You must first be ready for marriage if you want and plan to get married. If you are not committed to partnership and marriage internally then you are not being your authentic self. Be honest with yourself about what you actually need and want. Do not waste someone else’s time.

3. To be clear: The use of the word “boring” is a friendly euphemism for “ready” (for a relationship). Chemistry makes a difference whether it’s for love or arrangement only. You must have a great personality and be genuinely interested in joining with another person. Discover which partner you want in your life and lean in.

4. Do not forget that this is a reality show and of course there were creative licenses taken to entice and to engage the audience. Indian Matchmaker is very entertaining and it is also thought-provoking about dating and long term relationships. We cannot wait for season 2!

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].

Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.

-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. 

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In this week's episode, we tackle the important topic of personality types including introverts, extroverts, ambiverts, and highly sensitive people (HSP). Listen as we talk about how personality type impacts work with clients and relationships in our personal lives, misconceptions about introverts, and the importance of recharging and preserving energy. Dive in as we discuss how to stay true to oneself and to be authentic and real.
Thank you, Frantzces, for yet another book for us to read! Check out the book Quiet by @susancainauthor.

Key takeaways from this episode include:

1. Introverts have to have boundaries for self-preservation. It is perfectly fine of introverts to need and take space.

2. Ensure that both extroverts and introverts have a voice and feel safe and supported, especially when you work with children.

4. We are thinking of you, extrovert, and how you are managing your mental health needs during these COVID times. Try to find creative ways to socially interact and get your recharging needs met.

5. Please avoid labeling clients as introverted or extroverted, and instead focus on their characteristics and needs. This will help provide clarity for clients who may be struggling with understanding their identity and experiences, what drives them. This will help them to develop self-care plans.

6. Do not be afraid to speak your mind and to share your feelings about how the actions of others impact you. This is great advice to follow no matter how you describe yourself or how you walk in this world.

7. Be authentic. Learn more about yourself. Everything is an extension of you. When the head is sick the whole body is sick. Love yourself and take care of yourself.

For questions and share outs and further discussion please contact us at [email protected].

Until next time, remember to live, laugh, love, and keep it real.

-Frantzces, Sabeen and Tonika :)

Click here to leave us a rating on iTunes. 

Follow us on Instagram.