They Exist Podcast

In this episode Ziezy talks about using They/Them Pronouns and how people tend to conflate Non Binary with being a quirky cis person with They/Them pronouns ignoring the vast diversity and nuance within the Non Binary community. Ziezy encourages allies to keep using peoples pronouns but also find the other ways in which they can affirm a Non Binary individuals gender identity. Ziezy highlights that so many people are guilty of learning new pronouns an then treating that individual in the same gendered way as they were assigned. Non Binary is more than just a change of pronouns and is different for each individual. Thats why its important to be an open minded, non forceful and encouraging ally. De-centre yourself and find out the different ways you can affirm somebody's gender identity as well as using their correct pronouns and name.-

Pronouns are the bare minimum in the gender expansive community, they are a supplement to our overall identity but not our overall identity. We love when people use our correct pronouns of course we do but if every other way that person treats you is entrenched in cisnormative binary standards then what's the point in being affirmed with a correct pronoun. Its almost bare minimum performative ally ship. 

Ziezy opens up about their experiences and feeling around gender growing up and explains how Non Binary is more about what you are not than what you are. They also discuss how not feeling comfortable within society at various intersections has had a negative affect on their mental health from childhood. They explain how unsettling it can feel as a Non Binary person when your a child trying to figure stuff out when you don't really understand your feelings. They also discuss the gatekeeping nature of being Trans and gender expansive in the 90s and early 2000s when they were growing up. All these factors made things hard to be open or even to fully understand these gender feelings. So when people treat Non Binary people as a cis person with They/Them pronouns (or other gender neutral or binary pronouns) it really erases their experience of gender in an almost dismissive way. So many cis people don't realise that Non Binary falls under the Trans umbrella and that we share a lot of common ground with our binary Trans siblings the only difference is where we land on the gender spectrum. 

Ziezy wishes everyone in the community a happy and safe new year if you are celebrating.

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Its Trans awareness week 2021 and welcome to the They Exist Podcast. 

In this episode Ziezy discusses Trans Awareness Week and the pressure on the Trans community on this week even though its positive to have a awareness week. Ziezy talks about Trans day of rememberance and how it can be tough on the trans community emotionally but how its important to remember and respect the people from our community that are no longer here.

Ziezy discusses the affect the negative representation has had and does have on the Trans community. They talk about the improvements that can be made in media and overall society to help with positive representation of the Trans community. This includes paying Trans people to write articles, contribute to media and have opportunities for accurate representation.

They talk about how the LGBTQIA+ community is one community and we should stick together as we share a lot of experiences and Trans people are a valid part of our community no matter what so Anti Trans hate groups may say. Ziezy talks about their experiences of bullying around their sexuality even though they don't think the bullying was accurate. They discuss why when you are Queer you are targeted by Cis het communities no matter what part of the community you belong to, that's why its important we stick together. 

They explain why they think the strict gender binary is even bad for Cis men and make links to the toxic cis society that may be one of the reasons for the high rates of mental health difficulties in cis men. Ziezy makes the point that we should all be allies to the Trans community whether we are cis or trans because the gender binary is toxic and we should be fighting against it together to make the world a better place for everyone. Ziezy states how the system is playing everyone even people who have a degree of privilege the only difference is that marginalised communities like the Trans community are taking the brunt of the problems with the system.

Ziezy talks about the pressures of having to fit into a society that doesn't accept who you are and the fact that we are presumed cis het from day one and have to internalise so many feelings and have to go on a long journey to feel comfortable with who we truly are because of societal pressure, discrimination and safety. They talk about loosing themselves when going into work environments and being restricted in how they express themselves and how work places should be embracing all their employees as who they are whether they are Trans or not. Telling people how they should dress and express themselves is a form of abuse and control whether it's in the workplace or home life. Accept and celebrate people for who they are.

Ziezy asks people to learn about us as a community, they call on peoples families, the education systems and workplaces to learn and educate themselves about our community and have proper representation in every day life for Trans people.

Thank you for listening to the podcast we really appreciate your support and love.

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Sending you those good gender vibes

Ziezy - They/Them

Hey everyone and welcome to the latest episode of the They Exist Podcast. In this episode Ziezy discusses their experience as a parent and not only that, they discuss their experience as a Trans Non Binary Parent who uses They/Them pronouns. Ziezy talks about their experiences with mental health in the early days of being a parent as well as the conflict of parenting in a very cis normative society where gender expectations of parents are still very much out there in our culture. They discuss feeling uncomfortable about joining Dads groups as a Trans individual and the need for more spaces for all queer parents to feel comfortable to get the help and support they may need as parents.

Later in the podcast Ziezy discusses the lack of representation for Trans parents and more specifically for themselves as a Non Binary parent and the internalised feelings due to the stigmatised representation that trans people get when they have representation. They discuss how its important that we are able to feel comfortable as parents with who we are and not have to hide away parts of ourselves from our children to do with how we identify. 

To all trans parents who celebrated Trans Parents Day last Sunday I hope you had a positive day and got to spend some time with your child or children. Sending love to anybody who can't or couldn't. 

Sending love to all our parents from the LGBTQIA+ community. You exist and we see you and you're doing a great job no matter what the media may write.

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The book I mentioned in the podcast:

https://theresathorn.com/book

Hey everyone welcome to the latest episode of the They Exist Podcast a Trans, Non Binary, Queer and LGBTQIA inclusive podcast by Ziezy who uses They/Them pronouns.

This is a special bonus episode called Ask Ziezy. In this episode Ziezy answers a question sent in from one of our listeners, in this case they answer a question about imposter syndrome as a Non Binary Trans person. Ziezy uses their own unique experiences of gender and being Trans and Non Binary to answer the question for our listener.

If you have a question for Ziezy that you would like answered on the podcast you can join us on instagram @theyexistpodcast and send in your question via our stories when asked.

You can also join our discord server to interact with our community and also send in your questions.

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You can also leave us a 5* review on apple podcasts we will love you for this.

Thank you for supporting and listening as always, take care and keep safe.

Ziezy

They/Them

Hey everyone its been over a moth since I released a podcast so here is a really long one summarising some of the topics I missed in October.

CW - This episode contains strong language throughout and references to Anti Trans hate as well as brief references about racism, sex, sexual assault without going into too much detail. Protect yourself if you need to by skipping this episode.

In episode seven Ziezy talks about how Black history is Trans, Queer and LGBTQIA+ as well as world history and should be celebrated and educated all year round. They talk about the massive contribution to the LGBTQIA+ that Black trans people have made to our community and some of the freedoms we have today because of them. 

ZIezy talk about the Dave Chappelle Netflix special The Closer and their opinion's on the 'comedy', cancel culture, freedom of speech, Netflix and the effects the special had on them as a Non Binary person. They reflect on how comedians are funnier when they talk about stuff they know about as oppose to creating problematic and damaging content about communities they don't know about.

In the second half of this extended version of the podcast Ziezy reacts to Boris Johnson's recent endorsement of a well known Anti Trans Hate Group in the UK, who are well known for spreading misinformation, fear mongering and focussing on excluding Trans people from the community.

They also react to the Anti Trans BBC article that was released in October which was bias and misrepresentative of the broad trans community using offensive and bigoted tropes throughout. If you would like to read a letter about this article I have posted a link on our discord server link further down.

Ziezy also discusses why they are trying to no longer use the word phobic in their language in regards to bigotry and discrimination.

Finally Ziezy give a shout out to the Ace community and Ace Awareness week as well as Intersex awareness day and discusses both briefly.

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As always thank you for listening and speak to you next time.

Today we reflect and talk about gendered violence and Sabina Nessa.

This episode has a more sombre tone to it and is a very reflective episode.

If you think you may be affected by some of the themes please skip this episode as your mental health and wellbeing is extremely important.

We hold a minutes silence for Sabina Nessa and all victims of gendered violence at the end of the episode.

Sending love to all individuals and their loved ones who have been affected by gendered violence in any way.

Let's all stick together as a community and look out for each other in this challenging world we live in.

Justice for Sabina Nessa and Justice for all victims of gendered violence in any capacity.

CW - Strong language and subjects around gendered violence against women and all marginalised gender identities. 

You can follow us on instagram @theyexistpodcast and you can also join our discord community link links listed below

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In this episode Ziezy focuses and reacts to the recent UK court appeal and eventual overruling of the Bell vs Tavistock case, which initially stopped and restricted purity blockers to Trans youth under 16 years of age under the grounds of consent. With the initial ruling from 2020 Trans youth would have to have their fate decided by a judge instead of a medical professional on whether they could start the sometimes life saving treatment of puberty blockers which have been around for decades and research suggests are safe and reversible as far as medical treatments are concerned. Ziezy reflects as Non Binary a parent on why we should be supportive of our children and listen to their needs. We as parents can still be responsible without being harmful and denying our children medical treatment that they need. 

They talk about how gender dysphoria can have a big affect on a Trans individuals mental health and how gender affirming care and support is vital for all Trans youth and adults. They state if there was more widespread knowledge and acceptance of being Trans when they were younger they may have looked into the option of puberty blockers themselves. They also make the point that people under 16 can consent to other forms of medications with known side effects under the age of 16 if makes a difference to that child so why is it any different when it comes to affirming treatment to do with gender identity. All Trans people should have control and autonomy over their bodies.  

You can read an article on Pink news about the latest with Bell vs Tavistock link below

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/09/17/puberty-blockers-keira-bell-nhs-court-appeal/

Ziezy also gives a shout out to the Bisexual community on Bisexual Awareness Week.

CW this episode contains some strong language!

If you are enjoying the podcast you can follow us on instagram on @theyexistpodcast . 

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If you want to help the podcast out you can leave us a positive review on Apple Podcasts

Thank you for listening.

Ziezy

They/Them

September is fashion month and as some of the world focusses on the latest designers and styles, Ziezy (They/Them) talks about how clothing is often gendered by cis society and makes an argument for why clothing really has no gender at all. They also talk about how a lot of right wingers and Anti Trans individuals also use tropes about "men wearing dresses" (All men can wear dresses if they want to as well as any other gender) to project hate against Trans people, when really a dress is just a piece of material cut into a shape and stitched together and can be worn by anyone so whats their point? Ziezy also refers to how people who spread misinformation and hate against the trans community constantly interchange sex with gender and often base both off a persons genitalia (They are sooo wrong). 

Ziezy asks why do the people who obsess over genitals determining your gender (genitals don't = gender FYI), also often think that clothing has a gender (it doesn't) or should be only worn by certain genders... (all clothing can be worn by any gender Trans or cis). So if clothing is gendered (its not) and all these people think gender revolves around is genitals (it doesn't) does that mean a particular piece of clothing has a penis or a vulva (I know...) so these particular Anti-Trans Cis people can identify a piece of clothing? If gender means genitals (it doesn't) and particular clothing is gendered for men or women (it shouldn't be) then what does it all mean? As I am writing this I'm confusing myself... 

Stick with me on this episode if you can, I do say some things that might sound bad if listened to out of context but my overall point is pro Trans, pro freedom of gender expression and not meant to cause offence or harm to any of our community, its more to highlight ignorance and challenge gender expression, stereotypes and 'norms' using their own ignorance against them. 

At times the stuff I say is a bit of a stretch but to be honest so much of the Anti-Trans media out there is just as, if not more ridiculous than saying an item clothing has genitals, so cis people know what gender their clothing is... This is kind of my point if you get me... We all get caught up in this "cistem" that is created for us and the more we think about how gendered our environment is the more we realise how many things are just made up constructs and we shouldn't feel bad for wanting to express ourselves however we want whether we are Trans or cis. We should all wear what makes us feel good no matter our gender identity and whether we are Trans or cis. (I'm vegan so not into real fur or leather so ideally vegan alternatives lets not kill animals for clothes please).Hope you enjoy and get something from the episode maybe you can share it with a cis friend who needs to hear this who thinks everyone should wear clothes that they are told to by society or a Trans friend who wants to feel validated that they can wear whatever they want no matter what. Trans or cis lets liberate ourselves and feel that euphoria all day everyday with what we wear. Change is coming, the gender binary is a construct and Non Binary and Binary Trans identities are valid! CW - This episode does contain some strong language. In this episode I do use some examples of Anti -Trans tropes, binary language and refer to genitalia to get my point accross. This episode also contains a message at the end about refugees and asylum seekers and briefly refers to what is going on in Afghanistan currently. Thank you for listening to the podcast again we really appreciate your support. If your not already you can subscribe to our podcast on the platform of your choice and if you have the time you can leave us a 5* rating on apple podcasts this will help boost the podcast and get it out there to more people. You can follow us on Instagram @theyexistpodcast or email us on [email protected]. Thank you love you all!  Ziezy  They/Them

In this episode I discuss my process of coming out to my partner as Trans and more specifically as Non Binary. I talk about my feelings around coming out, feeling inspired by Trans Pride London, having a safe online space to explore my gender identity with other trans people prior to coming out. I talk about how i came out to my partner and future plans of coming out to others like my parents.  

If you identify as Trans, Queer or part of the LGBTQIA+ community you may relate to some of this episode. If you are not out yet and planning on coming out you may find somebody you can relate to on your journey. If you are a loved one of a Trans individual you may be able to get a better understanding to why people choose to come out and why for some people it takes time. I recommend this episode to Trans people (Non Binary & Binary), people who are planning to come out and also I recommend that partners, parents, siblings, grandparents, guardians, extended family members, friends and colleagues of people that come out as Trans to listen to this podcast. It may be hard for cis people to get used to using new pronouns, names and other changes but for a Trans person to have your basic understanding, respect and affirmations it means a lot. So if you are cis and want to hear a perspective from a Trans Non Binary individual from the Uk this may be the podcast for you.

I hope you find this episode helpful and informative in some way. Remember whether you are out to everyone, some people, online or to nobody you are valid and you are loved by our community. There is no right way or wrong way to come out there is only your way.

CW - This episode does contain some strong language. 

Thank you for listening to the podcast again we really appreciate your support. If your not already you can subscribe to our podcast on the platform of your choice and if you have the time you can leave us a 5* rating on apple podcasts this will help boost the podcast and get it out there to more people. 

You can follow us on Instagram @theyexistpodcast or email us on [email protected] 

Thank you love you all!  

Ziezy  

They/Them