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Anticipatory Set:  Justin has a history lesson on federally funded indigenous boarding schools, and the trauma they caused Native Americans in the United States. All in the name of assimilation and a cheap labor force. Horrifying. 

Getting schooled: Keeping with the light tone, our hosts critique this World War II drama where priests hide Jewish students in a boarding school in the French countryside. This school is the Lord of the Flies meets the Sound of Music but with extra Nazis. Questions discussed: Why do young boys like to wear shorts in the winter? If boys only bathe once a week, how do you breathe while teaching advanced Algebra to 12 year olds? Can you adequately cover course objectives while hiding in a bomb shelter? Why did Ronnie pick this bummer of a movie? 

Exit ticket: A Chinese-American substitute teacher faces daily racism from her elementary and middle school students, and administration handles it about as adequately as expected. Justin shares some issues he’s dealt with as an admin, and Ronnie worries about the future of this country. Yep. A light episode, indeed. 

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Anticipatory Set: What were the different student groups you had when you were in school? Ronnie offers some data from a study on high school hierarchies and where students see themselves from 2023. Were Ronnie and Justin a part of the popular kids? The jocks? Avid listeners already know the answer to this one.

Getting schooled: We’re going back to 1986 where it's the rich kids vs the poor kids and Molly Ringwald has some fashion tips. Can a fun soundtrack of 80s new wave save them from themselves? “What about prom Blane? Just say it!” Ducky tries to save the day but time and time again he comes of as a misogynistic asshole when he really should be coming out of the closet. He does a fierce lip sync for his life, though. Join us for this critique of another high school where the students look to be in their mid-30s and we’re headed to prom in the ugliest dress in cinema history. 

Exit Ticket: What kind of monsters as a class nominate two students with disabilities to prom court as a joke? High schoolers that’s who. But what do you do to the little sociopaths when it’s the majority of the student body? Our hosts have thoughts.

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Anti Set: Between the serious news item vs something a bit lighter, choices were made and then regretted. Justin, in lieu of it being his birthday “season” would like to hear a favorite memory Ronnie has from celebrating his birthday. Stories were told. Nothing like a 30-something homosexual celebrating their birthday all month to make one regret their life decisions. 

Schooled: Heathers had it all: Chainsaws. Large handwriting. Christian Slater doing a bad Jack Nicholson voice. Winona Ryder wearing a monocle. Shannon Doherty before meeting Alyssa Milano. Several actors in their early 30s playing high schoolers. It left the hosts pondering what gay paraphernalia people will find around them after they day and if anyone would say at their funeral “I love my dead gay (fill in the blank).” 

Exit: A Redditor wants help with some mean girls in class bullying her. Passive aggressive high schoolers? Say it isn’t so. They don’t advice her to watch “Heathers” for inspiration, but they do think a discussion is in order. 

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Anticipatory Set: Should a teacher supplement their low salary by doing an OnlyFans? Well two English teachers from the same Missouri high school found out the answer to that in the last year. And the answer is sure. But can you use it for career ladder hours? 

Getting Schooled: Whoa. This was a heavy one to watch. One definitely finds out what Sting was singing about all those years ago with “Don’t Stand So Close to Me.” A new teacher goes from stealing lipstick at the Piggly Wiggly to kidnapping her male student she’s groomed. Teachers seducing students is such a tired movie and TV trope that it’s hard to take seriously, but this show certainly does. Groomers can be female as well, but continue to NOT be drag queens and trans folks. 

Exit Ticket: This was recorded and meant for release on New Year’s Day, so Justin makes Ronnie come up with three New Year's resolutions: a personal one, one for work, and one for the podcast. He hates New Year’s resolutions. Can the resolution be to never do a resolution again? 

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Anticipatory Set: White teachers who teach students of color are offered advice from an instructional coach at a Title 1 charter school. Basically don’t do what the film version of Luann does in Dangerous Minds. 

Getting Schooled: Luann Johnson is probably a lovely woman in real life but this movie version of her is a mess, and not just because Michelle Pfieiffer’s Southern accent comes and goes. It’a a horrific caricature of a white teacher working with students of color. The hosts marvel at the money she spends on full size candy bars, dinners to expensive restaurants, a stolen leather jacket and amusement park tickets for 40 students. The principal speaks like a sociopath. Her best friend Hal is near death. Most of the students look to be in their 20s or early 30s. And it appears that Luann teaches only one class. Even a good Coolio song can’t save this Hollywood high school turd fantasy. 

Exit Ticket: The rose and thorn ceremony continues. Roses include getting organized and thorns include a Sunday recording two episodes and things went wrong. Yes this isn’t technically the last episode, but it was the last recorded before the season ended. 

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Anticipatory Set: Ronnie channels his inner My Favorite Murder with the first recorded school shooting in 1853 a time when a mansion cost 80K. It was a bummer of a story that sounds as equally 2023 as it does from the 19th century. Prepare to be disappointed by the judicial system too. 

Getting Schooled: Justin is finally introduced to the Buffyverse and all it’s 'man in a rubber mantis costume' greatness. Both hosts are attracted to guitar rock star Xander. Justin is certain Wes’s name is Percy. Ronnie is certain Sarah Michelle Gellar looks like his sister. The show has it all: demon semen, murderous lunch ladies, mantis assault, and students allowed in the cafeteria kitchen. Without hairnets! Joss Whedon created one hellmouth of a series despite sounding like a dick in real life. 

Exit Ticket: Justin finds the most disturbing Reddit advice needed thread, and Ronnie is still in his house itching. Bugs. So many bugs. Ronnie is retraumatized and goes on an angry rant. Or perhaps it's his constant fear of bedbugs. 

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Anticipatory Set: Justin shares some information on students overspreading themselves with extracurricular activities. How much is too much? Ronnie complains a lot and regrets that his school didn’t have a beekeeping or calligraphy club. Does one need a sponsor for a beekeeping club?

Getting Schooled: Max Fisher has way too many extracurriculars with beekeeping among them. The teachers grooming students trope is reversed in this movie and poor Miss Cross. All the fish in the world can’t help her solve this one. Justin has never seen a Wes Anderson movie before, and Ronnie is unsurprised. Never has a school play been so bonkers. Never has a student taken to haircutting so quickly. And never has a soundtrack’s needle drops been so well placed. 

Exit Ticket: What happens when a student has a crush on your significant other? Well you get a middle school girl saying truly appalling things to her teacher. Both hosts are shocked and both agreed that the little girl would regret all of her life decisions with their plans for her.

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Anticipatory Set: Were narcs a real thing or just an 80s urban legend from 21 Jump Street? We find out the secret history of narcs in the United States, and Ronnie thinks there were two at his high school. Cops in high schools weren’t always school resource officers. 

Getting Schooled: Ronnie gets a little carried away with the synopsis on this one, but Justin doesn’t mind. There was a lot going on at this elementary school, and by “a lot” they don’t mean teaching. Tumors. TV towers without a fence. A parent teacher conference that ends in a fist fight. All the things that make us happy. How many times can a classroom be left unattended? Well a lot. And in this school a veteran teacher can be replaced permanently by a giant man who likes to pronounce a hard “u.” 

Exit Ticket: New teachers need adequate support that many schools aren’t giving them. Ronnie and Justin come up with some best ways to support those new to the profession. And no, they don’t involve cocktails, but they should. 

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Anticipatory Set: What are the ten types of problematic parents schools face? And who knew there were just ten and not two hundred? Stories are shared including a parent whose daughter battles raccoons in a crawlspace. How does one best handle these hot messes? Strategies are offered, ridiculed and refined. 

Getting Schooled: How many dirty pillows in one high school locker room hold? How many times can Miss Collins slap students and not get fired? How many candles can one household need? Too many. Too, too many. Justin gets an education on 70s camp and 70s bush. Ronnie has an evangelical trauma response to Mrs. White’s obsession with the smell of her daughter. They both have whiplash from the soundtrack’s twists, turns and bizarre choices. And in the end it doesn't’ take an arm grab to learn this valuable lesson: don’t bully the mousy girl with telekinetic powers.

Exit Ticket: A department chair is being bullied by members of her team and needs advice. She doesn’t say she has telekinetic powers, so some other advice is offered. Justin offers some expertise on the administration side while Ronnie’s is based in ptsd. 

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