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Anticipatory Set: White teachers who teach students of color are offered advice from an instructional coach at a Title 1 charter school. Basically don’t do what the film version of Luann does in Dangerous Minds. 

Getting Schooled: Luann Johnson is probably a lovely woman in real life but this movie version of her is a mess, and not just because Michelle Pfieiffer’s Southern accent comes and goes. It’a a horrific caricature of a white teacher working with students of color. The hosts marvel at the money she spends on full size candy bars, dinners to expensive restaurants, a stolen leather jacket and amusement park tickets for 40 students. The principal speaks like a sociopath. Her best friend Hal is near death. Most of the students look to be in their 20s or early 30s. And it appears that Luann teaches only one class. Even a good Coolio song can’t save this Hollywood high school turd fantasy. 

Exit Ticket: The rose and thorn ceremony continues. Roses include getting organized and thorns include a Sunday recording two episodes and things went wrong. Yes this isn’t technically the last episode, but it was the last recorded before the season ended. 

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Anticipatory Set: Ronnie channels his inner My Favorite Murder with the first recorded school shooting in 1853 a time when a mansion cost 80K. It was a bummer of a story that sounds as equally 2023 as it does from the 19th century. Prepare to be disappointed by the judicial system too. 

Getting Schooled: Justin is finally introduced to the Buffyverse and all it’s 'man in a rubber mantis costume' greatness. Both hosts are attracted to guitar rock star Xander. Justin is certain Wes’s name is Percy. Ronnie is certain Sarah Michelle Gellar looks like his sister. The show has it all: demon semen, murderous lunch ladies, mantis assault, and students allowed in the cafeteria kitchen. Without hairnets! Joss Whedon created one hellmouth of a series despite sounding like a dick in real life. 

Exit Ticket: Justin finds the most disturbing Reddit advice needed thread, and Ronnie is still in his house itching. Bugs. So many bugs. Ronnie is retraumatized and goes on an angry rant. Or perhaps it's his constant fear of bedbugs. 

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Anticipatory Set: Justin shares some information on students overspreading themselves with extracurricular activities. How much is too much? Ronnie complains a lot and regrets that his school didn’t have a beekeeping or calligraphy club. Does one need a sponsor for a beekeeping club?

Getting Schooled: Max Fisher has way too many extracurriculars with beekeeping among them. The teachers grooming students trope is reversed in this movie and poor Miss Cross. All the fish in the world can’t help her solve this one. Justin has never seen a Wes Anderson movie before, and Ronnie is unsurprised. Never has a school play been so bonkers. Never has a student taken to haircutting so quickly. And never has a soundtrack’s needle drops been so well placed. 

Exit Ticket: What happens when a student has a crush on your significant other? Well you get a middle school girl saying truly appalling things to her teacher. Both hosts are shocked and both agreed that the little girl would regret all of her life decisions with their plans for her.

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Anticipatory Set: Were narcs a real thing or just an 80s urban legend from 21 Jump Street? We find out the secret history of narcs in the United States, and Ronnie thinks there were two at his high school. Cops in high schools weren’t always school resource officers. 

Getting Schooled: Ronnie gets a little carried away with the synopsis on this one, but Justin doesn’t mind. There was a lot going on at this elementary school, and by “a lot” they don’t mean teaching. Tumors. TV towers without a fence. A parent teacher conference that ends in a fist fight. All the things that make us happy. How many times can a classroom be left unattended? Well a lot. And in this school a veteran teacher can be replaced permanently by a giant man who likes to pronounce a hard “u.” 

Exit Ticket: New teachers need adequate support that many schools aren’t giving them. Ronnie and Justin come up with some best ways to support those new to the profession. And no, they don’t involve cocktails, but they should. 

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Anticipatory Set: What are the ten types of problematic parents schools face? And who knew there were just ten and not two hundred? Stories are shared including a parent whose daughter battles raccoons in a crawlspace. How does one best handle these hot messes? Strategies are offered, ridiculed and refined. 

Getting Schooled: How many dirty pillows in one high school locker room hold? How many times can Miss Collins slap students and not get fired? How many candles can one household need? Too many. Too, too many. Justin gets an education on 70s camp and 70s bush. Ronnie has an evangelical trauma response to Mrs. White’s obsession with the smell of her daughter. They both have whiplash from the soundtrack’s twists, turns and bizarre choices. And in the end it doesn't’ take an arm grab to learn this valuable lesson: don’t bully the mousy girl with telekinetic powers.

Exit Ticket: A department chair is being bullied by members of her team and needs advice. She doesn’t say she has telekinetic powers, so some other advice is offered. Justin offers some expertise on the administration side while Ronnie’s is based in ptsd. 

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Anticipatory Set: With all the sweeping social changes in Florida public schools, how’d they do across the board their first semester? They got their latest report card, and it looks fantastic! Just kidding. It’s a sh*t show. 

Getting Schooled: This movie had it all. Copy machine fights. 80s breasts. Opposing counsel in a lawsuit roaming the halls, sometimes without clothing. More driver education vehicles. Lessons in steam heat repair. A veteran teacher dying in the classroom. Fire alarm pulls. Taco nights. So many monologues. The Karate Kid cussing. Morgan Freeman with a mullet. An abortion. Best. Movie. Ever. 

Exit Ticket: Should an elementary teacher date a guy she’s crushing on at the school where she teaches? Should anyone date someone they work with? Once again, Reddit comes through. 

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Anticipatory Set: What happens when a public school principal removes a student from student government and sabotages her scholarship chances for twerking at a party telling her she’s not pleasing the Lord Jesus Christ? Turns out he apologizes and resigns for the rest of the school year. 

Getting schooled: Justin has a crush on Walton Groggin’s character despite his huge forehead. Ronnie’s impressed with a portrayal of a school that finally looks like a real school. Everyone agrees that there is no way anyone who’s worked in a school was consulted about how a school truly operates. Does HR even exist in this alternate universe? What are the hiring practices for administration? Can you really set fire to a house in broad daylight and use the driver’s education car as the getaway vehicle? 

Exit ticket: Justin and Taylor have advice for new vice-principals and Ronnie, of course, has the last word. 

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Anticipatory Set: As if putting on a public school theater production wasn’t hard enough, now all over the United States parents and school boards are getting them censored or banned. Masks, queer kids, books and now the performing arts. Next up, football. Ha. Sure, Jan. Dalton shares a story about the blood sacrifice a student made from the musical Snoopy. 

Getting schooled: Justin confuses Emma Thompson with Emma Stone. Nobody’s parents think their child is a miracle. Lots of children dance towards the 4th wall, and it makes Justin and Dalton uncomfortable. For some reason “When I Grow Up” makes Ronnie cry. Miss Trunchbull is a master at building obstacle courses and redecorating the cafeteria overnight but can’t find a decent bra. Matilda gives Carrie White a run for her money, but without the body count.

Exit ticket: A teacher needs advice on how to handle a parent whose kid didn’t get into the talent show and who is sending emails ruining their weekend. Why. Why open a parent email over a weekend? Just don’t. No parent emails over a weekend with something nice to say.

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Class is back in session!

Anticipatory Set: Schools are still cutting arts programs. How is this still a thing? Athletics is still untouchable, but the school musical? Pottery? Dance? They’ve got to go. Unbelievable.

Getting schooled: Glenn Holland is a horrible human. He won’t learn ASL to talk to his deaf son. He takes a rebellious kid to a funeral. He almost cheats on his wife with a femme fatale from Norse mythology. So let’s reward him with a retirement assembly where people play his dumb symphony. After many, many, many history montages, Ronnie cries over a dead pet and emotionally manipulates Justin to feel bad about his role in it. Now how does one sign the word “a-hole”? 

Exit ticket: Teachers who have left teaching tell where they find fulfillment in new careers. One teacher finds it while working for Costco and not in the Kirkland booze section. 

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Season 1 Bonus

Surprise! The Bonus is early!

The podcast has listeners in Thailand, Vietnam, and Sedgwickville, Missouri. Hello, friends! There is some listener feedback as well as listener stories involving underwear: a revealing accident during a production of Grease and some drunk teachers laugh a little too hard. Advice was given. Ronnie talks about his stalker during his first year of teaching and recounts the Christmas dystopian musical he starred in at church. Justin is jarred. Two songs compete for the worst song and music video set in the field of education - 80’s edition. Who gets expelled and who gets sent back to class with a stern warning? The date for the first episode of season 2 is announced.

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