This Is Not What I Was Expecting

This Is Not What I Was Expecting

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This Is Not What I Was Expecting episodes

  • Pride, Pressure, and ‘What’s Next?’ After Graduation (The Part No One Talks About)

    This week we discuss:

    • What parents wish they had done earlier in high school
    • Transition planning and graduation pathways
    • Supports like OVR and how to access them
    • The emotional shift when your child turns 18
    • Social challenges and independence after graduation
    • Handling the “what’s next?” question
    • Advice for parents entering this stage
    • For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      33 min
    • The High Cost of Being a Good Parent Right Now

      Everything feels more expensive right now, and parents are the ones carrying the stress of trying to make it all work. Groceries cost more. Gas costs more. Housing costs more. Even the little things add up fast.

      And when you’re raising kids, especially kids who need extra support, that pressure does not stay on the budget spreadsheet. It shows up in the guilt, the exhaustion, the second-guessing, and the constant feeling that no matter how hard you work, it is still not enough.

      Today's conversation is for parents who are doing the math, cutting back, feeling stretched, and wondering why it still feels so hard. You are not failing. It really is that expensive right now.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      33 min
    • When Your Life Is a Dumpster Fire But You Still Have to Be a Mom

      Some days it feels like your life is a dumpster fire. Other days it feels like the whole world is. Either way, parenting doesn't stop. This week we're talking about what it's like to keep functioning when everything feels overwhelming - whether it's chaos in your own family, stress from the news cycle, or a child who is struggling in ways other people can't see. Because the truth is, the school emails still come. Dinner still has to happen and work still expects your to show up with a smile. We're talking about surviving parenting when life feels like too much - letting go of perfection, leaning on friends, finding humor in absurd moments, and sometimes just getting through the day 10 seconds at a time. If you've ever looked like you had it together on the outside while everything felt chaotic behind the scenes, you're not alone.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      34 min
    • Why is parenting my teen harder than I expected?

      This week is a shorter conversation — because sometimes that’s all we have the bandwidth for.

      We were told parenting would get easier when our kids got older. We believed it. And then… they got older.

      The double stroller stress turns into adult-problem stress. The toddler chaos turns into late-night phone anxiety. The mental load doesn’t disappear — it just changes.

      If you’ve ever thought, Shouldn’t this feel easier by now? you are not alone. The stress shifting doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It just means you’re still a parent.

      Take a few minutes with us this week. We’re right there with you.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      12 min
    • The IEP Says They’re Fine — But Real Life Is Telling a Different Story

      This week we’re talking about what happens when the IEP says everything is going well — but real life tells a different story.

      Grades are passing. Goals are met. On paper, things look fine. And yet many parents still feel uneasy, especially as their kids get closer to transition age. We talk honestly about the disconnect between school success and real-world readiness, and the shock that can come when you realize the system is focused on this school year while parents are thinking about adulthood.

      This conversation is about trusting your gut, rethinking what advocacy is really for, and naming the fears parents carry when they’re trying to prepare their kids for life beyond school.

      If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one still worried when everyone else says things are fine — you’re not.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      29 min
    • When Everyone's Needs Are Urgent and Yours Are Always Last

      When you’re parenting, it can feel like everyone’s needs are urgent — kids, appointments, school calls, medications, work — and somehow your own stuff always ends up last on the list. This week Melissa, Tracy, and Perl talk about the invisible load parents carry when they’re managing multiple children’s needs and their own. From living at the pharmacy, to juggling appointments, to teaching kids time management when you’re barely keeping your head above water, this is a conversation about what it’s really like behind the scenes. There are no perfect systems here — just real parents sharing what’s helped, what hasn’t, and why letting go of rigid expectations can sometimes be the healthiest choice. If you’ve ever felt like you’re treading water while trying to hold everyone else up, this episode is for you. You’re not failing. You’re carrying a lot — and you’re not alone.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      37 min
    • Extended School Year: What Parents Should Be Thinking About Now

      If your child has an IEP, Extended School Year (ESY) might already be on your radar — or coming soon. This week we break down what ESY is meant to do, how schools make decisions, and how parents can push back when a “canned program” doesn’t fit. We also talk honestly about work schedules, transportation, mental health, and when saying no is the right choice.

      PA's Department of Education, Division of Special Education office, PaTTAN, has absolutely wonderful resources for all special education issues. Here's a very comprehensive guide for parents and IEP teams. https://www.pattan.net/assets/PaTTAN/d9/d9bff18d-b7f2-4b7a-b33e-430ced8a8fc4.pdf

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      30 min
    • Parenting Is Problem-Solving Until You’re Allowed to Sleep

      Some days parenting feels like fixing one thing after another until you finally get to go to bed. Homework, food, school stuff, schedules, money, feelings — you solve what’s in front of you, then something else pops up.

      None of it feels dramatic on its own. It’s just constant. And that’s why it’s so exhausting.

      This is a conversation about the nonstop figuring-it-out parents do every day, the creativity it takes just to keep things moving, and why it makes sense that you’re tired even when nothing “big” happened. If your brain never shuts off, you’re not alone.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      31 min
    • Grab a Pen. We're Taking a Break

      This week, we’re inviting you to take a break with us. No advice, no fixing, no agenda — just a few parents sitting together, coloring, chatting, and letting our brains rest for a bit.

      We start by watching a short art video together (we’ll tell you where to find it), then we grab whatever pens or markers are nearby and settle in. You can draw along, listen while you fold laundry, or just let this play in the background while you breathe.

      Parenting can be heavy. This episode is your permission to pause — and spend a few minutes in good company.

      Check out Andrea's full episode to draw along at https://www.instagram.com/reel/DR7LEngiZx3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Or look for her at Andrea.Nelson.Art

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      37 min
    • Raising Independent Kids

      This week we’re talking about independence — the fears, the victories, the slow progress, and the strength it takes (for us and them). If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing enough or pushing too hard, this one’s for you.

      For one on one support at no cost to parents of children with behavior and mental health challenges in PA visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/one-on-one-help

      Find out more about the PA Parent and Family Alliance and how you can support our work at https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/donation

      To access any tip sheets and booklets we talk about visit: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/parenting-resources

      To be the first to know about our events, read stories of success from families raising children with mental health challenges and more sign up to join the Parent Alliance community: https://www.paparentandfamilyalliance.org/join-the-community

      36 min

    About This Is Not What I Was Expecting

    From the publisher's feed

    If you've ever looked around at other parents and wondered, "How is everyone else making this look easy?" you're in the right place.