This Keeps Happening with Vienna Pharaon

America recently went through a breakup, and it’s opening old wounds around the complicated relationship she had with her father. There's a lot she wishes she could have said to him before his death. She grew up in an environment where talking about your feelings wasn't safe, and that avoidance has come with her into her adult life. This breakup is confirming all of the original narratives she's held about perfection and herself. We start this conversation talking about the breakup, what's familiar about it, and what keeps her from being able to see herself differently.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Blu has a complicated relationship with her mom. Her parents got divorced when she was 12 years old, which is also around the time that sexual abuse started with her dad. Blu's mother never fully acknowledged what happened to her. She just made rash decisions on Blu's behalf and continued to stay distracted and preoccupied with work and a new love. Blu struggles with complicated family dynamics, wishing she could’ve had the mother she always needed, and wonders how to proceed.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Anne is in a new relationship and it’s scary. All of the alarms are going off that want to keep her far away from closeness and intimacy. There’s fear of abandonment and it's hard for her to show emotion with this new partner. When she was younger, she was abandoned. After her parents' divorce, Anne started to use alcohol and drugs as a way to escape her sadness. She was kicked out of the home at 13 and told to go live with her father. Anne has struggled to trust that people care about what she's feeling. Although parts of her new relationship feel good, this unfamiliar territory often has her getting closer and then wanting to move further away for fear of being abandoned. Anne will learn that trust isn't something you can think your way to, it’s something you have to feel your way to.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Sophie gets lost in the details trying to understand why she is the way that she is, and worries about not being able to follow through on change when it presents in the future. She moves away from just connecting with the here and now, making space to feel and experience what's true for her. In the conversation, we find ourselves going around in circles a bit until she has a breakthrough. It's remarkable the shift that happens when we take just one thing off the table.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

We’re taking a couple weeks off for the holidays so we can rest, relax, and spend time with family and friends. We’ll be back with another new episode on January 10th. 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Caroline recently found out that her mom was cheating on her stepdad. Although she's able to celebrate what she calls her mom's newfound freedom, she also feels scared about becoming less important to her. Caroline doesn't make space for her emotional experience with anyone because the risk of upsetting them, disappointing them, or hurting them is too intolerable. We start the conversation talking about the situation with her mom and how she's struggling to navigate the changes to her family, as well as her role with each of them.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Beach is 41 years old and six months pregnant with her first child. She has a challenging relationship with her father, who was a big source of pain for her. She's feeling anxious about giving birth and becoming a parent. There's a moment in her life where her trust in herself gets deeply damaged, and we recognize in this conversation that it has yet to be restored.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Like many couples, Michelle and Dan struggle to communicate, especially when one of them is dealing with something difficult. Often when Michelle is upset, Dan feels completely lost on how he can help. Because he hasn't felt successful in all of his attempts, he winds up shutting down. He wants to fix, solve and solution, and it's just not what she needs. If you love someone, of course you want to help relieve them of their pain. But this race to relief is blocking something so important for both of them. We begin the conversation trying to understand why this pattern keeps happening. 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Work causes Russ a lot of anxiety. He says he can't trust his managers and often feels undervalued. At his current job, he's had seven different managers. After decades of stress, just wishing he could find a good manager, he's wondering if maybe that's not the real issue. And maybe, he has a part in all of this. 

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

We’re taking this week off so we can enjoy time with ourselves and family and friends. We’ll be back with another new episode next week.

If you’re interested in being on the show, call 206 9 V-I-E-N-N-A. Leave a voice message with an alias and the best time to reach you. Guests will remain anonymous to listeners.

You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.