This Week in Despair with Peter-john Byrnes

On our very first ever live episode, delivered to a largely indifferent coffeeshop audience at the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, we're joined by one of the guests on our very first episode, James Fritz, because sometimes you want a friend when you go skydiving without a parachute. He's joined by the Bard of Nebraska, Zach Peterson, as we run through the week's news, which includes marijuana legalization, NFL concussions, and Syrian diplomacy, only two of which involve brain-damaged people. James plays Carnac the Magnificent with the musical segues. Zach is in need of an aspirin. We had a lot of fun.

It was a week where reporters threatened to murder whistleblowers and a racist rodeo clown was the toast of FOX News, so what better week to go visit Austin, Texas? Recorded during the Out of Bounds Festival, this episode features two of Austin's finest, Ralph Hardesty and star of stage and screen Kerri Lendo. Kerri is not opposed to sending SWAT teams after hippies. Ralph shares his secret shame regarding Miley Cyrus. I suggest that a disgraced cop kill himself. VC Andrews makes a strong showing near the end. I think the heat got to us.

It's a week when there's a new Royal Baby and a new panelist on The View, so first-time guest Charlie Rohrer is joined by the canny veteran Sonia Denis to help sort it all out. Charlie doesn't like babies. Sonia doesn't like anyone. Genital-hungry Israeli snakes, Jenny McCarthy and other horrible creatures make an appearance. Sonia reveals her new hit song for next summer, and takes us to the bleakest subject matter we've ever had on the show!

On the week where the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down, we convene a demographically-accurate all-gay Texan panel of frequent guests Ever Mainard and Cody Melcher, who discuss Rick Perry, Playboy bunny art installations, and how it feels to win one for a change. Ever and Cody perform their "gas station voices." Racist Disney films are discussed. Cody and I debate the end of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Ever reveals the true identity of her father at the end, making this the Empire Strikes Back episode.

Regular panelists Sonia Denis and Andy Fleming are back for a very strange episode in which a discussion of Paula Deen and Rupert Murdoch is delayed so I can explain the plot of Last Tango in Paris and give a brief history of sexual lubricant. Other topics include eyeball licking and breast-milk-flavored lollipops, both of which will haunt your nightmares forever.

From the heart of Bloomington IN, Drew Frees and Stewart Huff join me for our first remote recording, made during the Limestone Comedy Festival. It's a episode in which the difficulty of major social change is discussed in the wake of the NSA scandal, and how the poor are well and truly screwed in this country. We also talk about bare boobs in New York City, so there's something for everyone. Well, maybe not for rich straight women.

My sisters previously ruined Christmas, and now they're back to ruin another holiday. Memorial Day usually means cookouts, and on this food-themed show we discuss marijuana-infused bacon, insect-based protein, and how everything gives you cancer. Suzanne makes a brave stand against poisioning one's family. Pepperoni pervert perpetrators make an appearance. My sisters salute our Presidents on Memorial Day with a series of graphic sexual references. They're terrible people.

The co-hosts of the delightful podcast Tomefoolery, Cody Melcher and Ranjit Souri, don their tinfoil hats and join me on a trip down the rabbit hole, as the news this week leads us to a series of conspiracy theories. The IRS scandal and Benghazi are given their due, but also the theory that tornadoes in Oklahoma are created by the White House to distract us from their crimes. We discuss sexy Tasmanian ghosts, and devils. Cody unveils his funeral plans.

This week, Steve Walker and Brian Wille join me for a discussion of bodily horrors, with multiple stories of terrible things being inserted or excreted from a cornucopia of orifices. The revenge of bees, and the 3-D printing of guns also come in for scrutiny. I am accused of working for the NSA. Bad parenting decisions come in for review. Brian is called upon to represent all of Central and South America. No diapers were soiled in the making of this episode.

Sometimes the peril of doing a topical show is that you end up processing tragedy in real-time. When my guest Joel Ingersoll agreed to do the show months in advance on a trip through Chicago, he had no idea that he'd be talking about the bombing at the Boston Marathon, which happened just days before we recorded. The result is a conversation that's sometimes sober, sometimes funny, but never dull. We spend a surprising amount of time talking about baseball. The recently-dead Margaret Thatcher is spoken ill of. The actress Jeri Ryan is praised for her political impact. I discover the existence of a Minnesota foodstuff with an ethnic slur in its name.