Those Damn Ross Kids

Kris and Kole talk about empathy prosthetics, the commerce of comfort, and unwise thrift.

ALSO: The Full Tremaine. Elementary school art glasses. Moving travails. Don’t put the whole story in the headline. Safe alcohol consumption is a myth. The worst lap dance song. How to rig up a “Party” button. CDC warns against line-drying condoms. Period privation. A shitty terrorist ruins a 7-11. The Germans cannot be trusted with weather machines.

Links:

• The Happiest Mug Shot

Kris and Kole talk about food safety, transformative spaces, and a new level of cat fishing.

ALSO: Library Swords. A code red, room temperature milk problem. The problem with Papa. Kole explains “owning the libs”. Swing State of Mind. Public urinals are a scourge. Shopping his soul around.

Kris and Kole talk about cramming, restoration, and nights on the town.

ALSO: It just says “Here”. Trim in the wild. How I know Dan Marino. Don’t put the whole thing in. Clock restoration. How a pump works. A shame free zone where anything goes. Just started swinging scissors in his feet. Our concert experience. A sad garage tableau. Immortal last words. Bird hormones are the boy’s problem.

Kris and Kole talk about missed opportunities, flawed hagiographies, and big dick energy.

ALSO: Missing the Journey concert. The second one is always hardest. Facebook calls the Declaration of Independence racist (and it’s slightly right). Who is the Brat Pack? Fireworks of passive aggression. This man did not earn his middle name. Agnes gets the hell out. Big Dick Energy. Giving up the Saudi con.

Kris and Kole talk about repetition, corruption, and dangerous botany.

ALSO: Pump Hound. Misunderstanding reincarnation. Hot time, summer in the city. Kris went to see Taylor Swift. Fact hype man. Garrett died. Reddit and MIT taught an AI to be a psychopath. Built-a-Bear giveaway goes bad. Warning: Giant Hogweed will kill you.

Kris and Kole talk about butt stuff.

ALSO: Butt stuff.

Kris and Kole talk about texture, invasive dentistry, and urban tombs.

ALSO: Pressed goo. A soda faux pas, and the preferred lettuce. Coming on strong. Cashew surprise. Anne Frank’s dirty jokes. A Toys R(ave) Us. Suburb-ex. ISIS didn’t do that.

Kris and Kole talk about mementos, identity icons, and outlawed words.

ALSO: Turd down for what. Letters from yourself. Keep your keys. Tinker Bell, Taz, Tweety Bird, etc. The alleged tattoo. STDs on the rise. Where did this story take place? Play-Doh Scent (tm). Outlawed Masters phrases. The Next Recession.

Kris and Kole talk about antiquated search engines, parapsychological phenomena, and botched breakfasts.

ALSO: Lycos will suffice. Nothing notable has happened. Cosby Crazies. The Pup Crawl. A balanced view. The Poop Train moves on. The 100th Baboon. I messed up an omelet. Fajita heist. A naked stranger eats Cheetos in your tub, what do you do?

Kris and Kole talk about assistive hygiene, intemperate vermin, and double diamond genealogy.

ALSO: Kris creates a sound poem. Dilly Bars and parallelothongs. I don’t miss Law and Order. Things we regret saying. Zombie raccoons take Youngstown. Don’t hold in your sneezes. Kole goes libertarian. Condom-snorting is making comeback. A DNA test forces a reboot.