Quarantine ends up being a very bad Doom clone, but instead of DoomGuy, you’re DoomCar, and you can only see five feet in front of you. And its snarl of lore is just too boring to pick apart. So instead we ask… what was the deal with the Three Tenors, and do you think you could take them in a fight?

This reskin of a Goemon game is kind of fun and interesting, despite its problems. But the discovery of Cowboy Kid's amazing American cover art leads us into a deep well of appreciating the Gay Cowboy trope as a celebration of having fun with the guys. The "Life at the Outpost" video is required viewing.

Todd hates slime. He hates it when things get goopy. So he went to a planet full of it to exact his revenge. We, however, are indifferent to slime, and also think this game isn't too terribly bad. So we talk about the dead-end economics of the slime-content, and carousels for some reason.

Garbage Pail Kids: Mad Mike and the Quest for Stale Gum advertises itself as a lost NES adaptation of the Garbage Pail kids line of collectible trading cards. In reality, it’s a modern game made by talented devs who make games for NES hardware. And it’s pretty fine! But there are so many Garbage Pail kids to talk about, so we spend most of our time camping out on them.

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It’s hard to think of a more damning indictment of the state of the world in 2025 than the fact that a cheap RTS developed to shock people with gender stereotypes in 1996 is really tame in comparison to what happens today. What happens in this game is by no means good, but it plays in tropes that are so outdated as to be cartoonish. Tim HomeImprovement would tell it to get better material.

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You are a rock and roll musician who fights creatures in virtual reality! You embody rock'n'roll in every way except the music. What's more, you received a job offer from Uganda!

Dynamite Dux is a forgotten Sega arcade beat-em-up with a profoundly cursed aura. Play five minutes of it and tell me this game isn’t haunted to hell and back. Then, come with us as we talk about the raunchy easter egg that took people 30 years to uncover.

Are you ready for an episode about a notoriously derided Superman game hosted by two people who don’t really care for or know about Superman, and haven’t seen that new movie everyone’s raving about? We hope so!

Picking games to cover on Abject Suffering is hard. We don’t like hitting ones that have been talked to death. So sometimes we just grab something with a name that calls out to us. What’s a Troddler? What does a Troddler mean for my life? We never would have guessed that Troddlers, a game nobody has heard of, might actually be a pretty fun puzzle game. Color us shocked!

Wild Woody is a swan-song for a system nobody owned, built around a power fantasy nobody has ever had. Who wants to be a pencil? So we introduce a much more tempting fantasy… How many hot dogs could you be trusted with?