Kris and Kole talk about national tragedy, genetic diversity, and dimensions.

I pitch over windmills. We did it. Emergency Donut Services. Accidental Incest. Honeymoons Over My Hammy. Give this baby a gun. The Nest. Boob Maintenance. Size queens. I'm not a child molester, I'm a racist. Hangovers are expensive. Coke ended the world.

Kris and Kole talk about birds, bird pictures, and sending bird pictures.

Sending bird pictures to Kris. Heroin is a problem. Executive ear popping service. Previous Nectar Gun. The sound of your voice. All the planet's libraries. Hovercart. Give me my son's finger back. Double Texting. Don't drink and walk. Rent out a prison. Memory sticks are never good.

Kris and Kole talk about food, mostly.

Wrecked on absinthe. Running out of gas. Song for the end of the world. A wreck. Shandy. Sexmurderer for hire. The skate park paradox. Kris's shameful admission. The benefits of olive oil. The secret of the towels. Whisper Eating. Looking is extra.

Kris and Kole talk about the geology of pornography, ethnic grocers, and odds.

Foam Factory. Setting the hook. Porn map. Designer colostomy bags. The Ice Cream Bandit. Asian grocer story and five pounds of rice. Man shoots self, blames ninjas. Don't make a bracket.

Kris and Kole talk about religious conspiracies, political affiliation, and personal doomsdays.

Kole is out of his element. Parker Lewis Quits Booze. The child actor Christian conspiracy. Off to a bad start with an Indiana high school teacher. I'm sorry, America. A Field of Their Own. Dead dialects. Personal doomsdays. Mouse telepathy. Re-tooling the census. The Blow Pop story.

Kris and Kole talk about air travel, religion, and making your mark.

Maynard G. Krebs. Your bad day? MY bad day! Wacky air travel stories. The Pope's Golden Years. Drink from this billboard. An exceptional latitude. Six degrees of Kevin Bacon committing incest. Make your mark. What's your egg horoscope?

Kris and Kole talk about fundraisers, traumatic middleschool memories, and spontaneous combustion.

The decision to shave your soul patch. Burger Gulag. Lottery winning meth explosion. A moment about the money room. Praise God, win sports. Who pooped the gym? The shit crayon. Cohabitation prohibition. The world's ugliest woman, laid to rest. Spontaneous combustion might not be a myth. All you could ever know about dowsing. Las Chagas.

Kris and Kole talk about being out of touch, gender politics, and classic art.

Effort? Eating chips wrong. Missing out on Rubio. Melon baller. Out of touch. Dildo sharpener. 3D Printers: Real? I'm not man enough to be a woman. Our fatwa against Steven Tyler continues. Quantum physics is weird. Literally and figuratively emasculated. Put some drawers on the masterpiece. A big box of dicks. Dinner and a "Why!?"

Kris and Kole talk about paradoxes, grooming, and animal control.

Kris is sick. Chancre. The nug paradox. Regarding meteors. Sodastream protips. Waiting for the third seven. Let it bee. Pube Island. Straight people have different rules. 2 gallons of pop. Hooked on coffee, but not like you'd think. Chubby Checker and the Herculean segue. Shock'n Y'all. A rabbit epidemic.

Kris and Kole talk about policy, compromise, and attention spans.

Party groping. The Ferris Bueller Theory. Five Guys, alone. You should be ashamed of being sick. Good luck getting Clarence Thomas to speak. No-murder week. Be sad, get pizza. Oprah's foreskin controversy. Cataclysmic cosmic events. Ancient scotch. Toilet paper lotto. Media and attention spans.