Thrive Solo

In this week’s minisode, I’m getting a little festive (yes, I know it’s only October!) after receiving a comment from a woman who's facing her first Christmas without her children and is worried about feeling sad and lonely. It got me thinking about the stories we tell ourselves, and how easily we can convince ourselves that an experience is going to be miserable before it's even happened. As someone who's single, childfree and absolutely LOVES Christmas, I want to challenge the idea that the festive season is somehow less enjoyable without a partner or children. We're talking mindset, expectations, creating your own traditions and finding joy in doing things YOUR way. And while I'm certainly not dismissing the genuine sadness that Christmas can bring for some people, I am offering a little tough love about why we need to stop assuming that spending Christmas alone automatically means having a depressing time. Because it really, really doesn't!

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On this week’s Thursday Thoughts, Polly and I are talking about beliefs, and how the stories we tell ourselves can shape our lives, often without us even realising it.

We discuss how many of our beliefs are formed in childhood, and how limiting beliefs can hold us back, affect our confidence, and stop us from going after the things we really want.

We also explore the ‘belief loop’; how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours can reinforce what we already believe to be true, and share some practical ways to start questioning and changing those beliefs, from becoming more aware of our inner dialogue to using breathwork and meditation.

We hope you’ll find something interesting or helpful in here.

Love,

Polly & Lucy x

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I can’t wait for you to hear my guest on this week's episode of Thrive Solo because she is not only single and childfree by choice, but she has navigated those life choices in India which is where she comes from.

Her name is Mandeep Kaur, she’s 43, and she is a trauma informed yoga teacher, life coach, and mental health counsellor living in Goa. Growing up in the north of India in a traditional Indian family, Mandeep was facing arranged marriage in her twenties, but she knew in every cell in her body that she simply could not - and would not - go down that prescribed path. There came many years of real difficulty while she navigated all of the judgement and opinions of her family and those around her - not to mention the harassment and bullying she faced from the wider community because of her choice to be an unmarried woman without children.

In our conversation, Mandeep tells me what it was like growing up with so much expectation and pressure, and how she dealt with it; we talk about how she has truly forged her own path, moving to Goa, starting her own business, and going against the grain of what she was ‘supposed’ to do with her life. She also speaks to the huge importance of mindset when it comes to living a life you actually want. It was so fascinating to talk to Mandeep, who is such a courageous, strong, and determined woman. I absolutely loved her.

Follow Mandeep on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachmandeepkaur/?hl=en

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In this week’s minisode, I’m celebrating one of the greatest loves of my life: my ridiculously naughty, outrageously handsome Bengal cat, Johnny. From the moment he came into my life and I wondered what the FUCK I’d done, to the extraordinary bond we share today, I’m talking about the sheer joy of having a pet, and why I’m more than happy to embrace my status as a crazy cat lady. I’m sharing some of Johnny’s hilarious antics, the things I absolutely adore about him, and the less glamorous realities of pet ownership, as well as exploring some fascinating research into the physical and emotional benefits of sharing our lives with animals. Because pets aren't consolation prizes for not having partners or children. They bring a whole different kind of love into our lives, and I wouldn't swap mine for the world.

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In this Thursday Thoughts episode, Polly and I are talking about feeling stuck, as well as ways to get unstuck by taking the smallest possible first step to build momentum.

We talk about moving physically or changing scenery — getting outside, shaking the body, or taking a break — to shift stagnant energy and allow inspiration to return. Polly tells us how she's using the BBC/NHS Couch to 5K app after a knee injury because it breaks running into manageable intervals with a chosen audio coach.

We're also talking about accountability as a game changer, including using both accountability buddies and self-accountability methods like paying in advance for a sauna/sea swim session.

We also suggest using AI tools for practical ideas, revisiting your “why,” examining repeating thoughts and stories that keep you stuck, and being mindful of what you consume mentally.

We really hope you'll find something helpful in here.

Love,

Polly & Lucy x

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On this week's episode of Thrive Solo, I'm talking to the truly wonderful marketer-turned-entrepreneur & content creator, Candice “Candilicious” Gallagher about her single life, dating, and community. Candice, 40, has been actively dating for over a decade, driven by “rom-com” hope but with a high bar set by strong friendships and family; she’s lived overseas most of her life (Singapore, Hong Kong, New York) and returned to England a couple of years ago for deeper connection with old friends.

In our conversation, Candice talks about dating in New York, Singapore, and London; her Instagram dating content (including “10 dating apps in 10 weeks”), and why she prefers in-person dating events. She also talks about launching Fig Dating dinners in London, using a new approach to solve event gender imbalance by selling tickets as platonic male–female pairs, and using a values-based matching quiz for rotating-course seating - she also tells me about the online pushback she's received about this approach, as well as men’s reluctance to dating events in general. Candice and I also talk about her hopes for partnership and children, egg freezing, and her current living arrangement with her best friend’s family.

I know that you're going to love listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it. You can find out more about her London-based dating events via the link in her Instagram bio.

Follow Candice on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/candilicious.insta/?hl=en

Follow Candice on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@candilicious.tiktok

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On this week’s minisode, I’m talking about something I don’t think I’ve ever properly addressed on the podcast before: what it’s like being single and childless in the workplace. From being expected to work late or cover Christmas because apparently you’ve got nobody to get home for, to the endless collections for engagements, weddings and babies (where are OUR presents?!), there are so many ways single women can be made to feel that their time, achievements and lives matter less. I’m sharing some of my own experiences from my time as a detective in the Met Police, including being called Mrs Havisham by a colleague, as well as talking about the loneliness of feeling like the odd one out when everyone around you is discussing husbands and children. And, importantly, why it’s time we started challenging some of these assumptions. If you’ve ever felt overlooked, excluded or taken for granted at work because you’re single and don’t have children, this one’s for you.

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On this week’s Thursday Thoughts, Polly and I are talking about gratitude, and how taking the time to appreciate what we already have can make such a difference to how we feel.

We share some of our own experiences of finding gratitude in everyday moments, and discuss how easy it is to take the little things for granted, particularly when life gets busy.

We also talk about different ways to practise gratitude, from incorporating it into breathwork to reflecting on the positives before going to sleep, as well as some of the benefits gratitude can have on our physical and mental wellbeing.

We hope you’ll find something interesting or helpful in here.

Love,

Polly & Lucy x

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My guest on the podcast this week is a breakup and dating coach, as well as the host of two podcasts, Sex & The Solo Girl, and Breakups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On. Her name is Janice Formichella and she works one on one with people around the world to heal from a broken heart and turn the end of a relationship into the beginning of a powerful new chapter in life. A regular podcast guest, Janice speaks on the psychology of breakups, overcoming loneliness, and secure attachment. She is also a domestic violence survivor, and someone who considers herself to have hit rock bottom more than once, but who thrives off using her own story to help others. 

Follow Janice on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janiceformichella/?hl=en

Check out her website: https://janiceformichella.com/

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In this week’s minisode, I’m doing something a little different because I received an Instagram message from a follower that made me laugh so much I simply HAD to share it with you. What started as a promising romantic connection with a man we'll call Dave turned into an absolutely hilarious (and rather frustrating) saga involving six weeks of flirting, unexpectedly developing feelings, and one man's extraordinary resistance to a routine STI test. I’m reading the whole glorious story, which includes some of the funniest lines I've ever encountered, but underneath the humour there's a really important message about boundaries, self-respect and why sticking to your standards can be bloody difficult when you genuinely like someone. Prepare to laugh, despair, and quite possibly shout at Dave.

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