Throw in the Pal

Viewing things as a young child

Held a real "je ne sais quoi"

So we decided to go buckwild

Hi there, it's the monkey who writes the blurbs for Throw in the Pal here! Eagle-eyed viewers will recognise that the above is an acrostic poem, using the acronym VHS as its basis, as this Short 'n Sweet is all about VHS classics from the Pals' childhoods. Some real indulgent shit, I'd say, but whadda I know: I'm just a monkey, ooh ooh, ah ah, you get it. Anyway, students of arithmetic will also note that there are only three letters in VHS, and thus three lines is all I'm morally permitted to write, lest the very laws of poetry be forsaken all in the name of a podcast minisode. Perish the thought. Finally, please consider listening to this podcast and telling your friends so that there can be a fomentation of some online outrage and a possible liberation for me, the Blurb Monkey, from my hellish fate. I ever so miss the sun.

The Pals... they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition, and they've got talent, as well as just beauty. I'm so sick of people saying that podcasting is all the Pals are fit for. I'm so sick of it! But we're so lonely... So join us, won't you, and help alleviate some of our pod-based blues in listening to this week's episode of Throw in the Pal, discussing Greta Gerwig's 2019 adaptation of Little Women.

Video games... What are video games? Are they movies you play, with missions and aims?Is it all interactive, do you pick the events?Do you have to pay more, in dollars and cents?Is there easy and hard as a mode to select?Are there easter eggs hidden for you to detect?If I eat a burrito and hold in a fart,Then unleash it on canvas, would you call it art?"How's that related?" you ask with derision,Life's about swings, not always precision.Anyway, Pals, this episode's truly'bout Video Games that were made into moviesSo sit down or stand up and listen as weTalk a lot and say, like, some real funny shit.

A Minecraft Movie, y'say? Next they'll be doing a Fortnite Feature or a Roblox Reel! And why stop there?! There could even be a THIRD THING!

Anyway, enjoy the episode.

People keep writing in and asking the Pals when we're going to start talking more about current events. No, that's not 'currant' as in the berry, so calm down you juice-guzzling sickos. We mean current as in 'currency', the tokens that line our credit and draw us together in the spending spree of modern stuff. Coins and cash and doo-hickeys of all variety, from yen to pounds to the almighty dollary-doo itself. Though it's not the tender itself we're so wowed by here at Pal Enterprises. No no no! In our humble opinion, it's the very nomenclature used to denote money that makes our change pockets jingle, and none can compare to the Spaniards when it comes to their heralded word for moolah: dinero. So this episode, we spend the entire-- [the world's largest vaudeville hook apparates and yanks this bit off the stage, as a nebbish man in a tweed suit appears, reading from cue cards]

We apologise for the misunderstanding. Please enjoy this week's Short n' Sweet on the performances of Robert De Niro.

Now the story of a wealthy man who lost everything, and then the same man who had no choice but to let his boxing career flame out so that he could open up a sleazy nightclub in order to perform atrocious standup comedy and more efficiently make out with teenagers. It's a-Raging Bull, innit?

Balls: what are they good for, anyhow?

Can you eat ‘em? Can you take ‘em out on an airplane and play with ‘em without getting into trouble? Can you go one day without someone getting on your case about holding onto ‘em for too damn long?

For most of those, the answer is fairly self-evident, even if you’ve become confused somewhere in the middle and started thinking about testicles instead, which seems to be turning into a habit for you.

Balls: round and other-shaped, big and not so big, they’re the engine of all worthwhile sport, and watching sport is the more worthwhile version of watching movies. And so, together at last, the Pals get into some Ball Sports!

The reason it's called the "f-you-ture" and not the "f-us-ture" is that everyone's is their own to make. That's really the main theme of the Back to the Future movies, if you ignore "white people actually invented rock and roll" and "maybe MILF is a more inclusive term that you originally thought." So let's get back to it, Pals, for our 100th episode spectacular and Season Two finale!!!

The Pals have been watching movies for so long that they almost forgot why they started doing it in the first place: so they could yell vulgarities at each other over minor score disparities. Luckily, we at Throw in the Pal have decided to celebrate our nearly 100 episodes by dedicating an entire "Short n Sweet" to the frequency with which we come close to physical violence when someone dear to us says something disagreeable about the moving pictures and loud noises projected onto a screen that we did or did not find it fun to look at. It's in these times that we all become much, much less than friends; we become Pals!

Pal boys, Pal boys,

Not just one or two,

Not just one or two,

There's a third for you.