Throw in the Pal

Remember when you were sick from school and your grandpa who you didn’t like that much and looked an awful lot like TV’s Colombo came by to read you a story about a fantasy world where no one has the same accent and eels can shriek and extra fingers are somehow a disadvantage and originally he kinda took it easy on all the horny stuff in the story but leaned reeeal into it by the end because at that point you were both super into it, so much so that you asked if he could come back the next day to read you the same exact story?! Well, turns out they made a movie about that self-same relatable thing that every one of us went through as children, and it’s not called The Princess Diaries. It's the other one, actually. So... enjoy the Pals talking about that!

So how do you truly define an "ick"?

Is it simply something that makes one sick?

Behaving quite twattish or acting a dick?

Something involuntary a tic?

The Pals aren't sure either, so they've made a quick

Installment that deals with actors that prick

Their hairs up on end, or make their sight thick

With visions of red due to anger, so stick

Around for this ep (especially if you're name's Rick!)

A harrowing war film about a U.S. Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal team in Iraq led by a loose cannon!

A WWE wrestler whose whole shtick is a little too confusing and niche to get picked up by the mainstream!

A band that plays math-rock mixed with noise punk whose members don't grasp the nuances of mixing or songcraft!

A location that a kid who gets bullied too much at a stereotypical American High School in the '80s spends a lot of his time!

Question: what do these things all have in common? Everybody knows they're all called The Hurt Locker!

What is it we go to the movies for? Do we seek some recognition of ourselves, reflected through the dark, prismatic mirror of cinema? Is it in the hope of seeing our deepest desires performed by dramaturgical manifestations of our collective id, watching behaviour we long to embody but couldn't possibly imagine enacting in the waking world? Or is it to watch as things go ka-blammo and ka-boosh, to see big fireballs and f$&%-off explosions and stupid-sized guns going kuhn-kuhn-kuhn-kuhn and then a car goes, like, vrooom-VROOOOOOM and sh!t like that? Valid imponderables, each one. Anyway, here's a loosie of the Pals talking about action scenes that they like.

Where are you most likely to find the world's most-famous form of Diesel?

Better yet, what's an accurate description for a speeding motorist?

Or, if you're feeling cheeky, what's the best way of describing the means by which each of the Pals lost his virginity?

If you answer is, "In a car", you're correct.

But "Fast & Furious" also works.

Tom was right, Tom was right! Na na ni na na! 😛

This week, what is it that the (dead)Pals have (wolver)seen that they’re dying to deliberate? Still not sure? We’ll give you a clue: it’s this year’s most anticipated new entry in a flagship cinematic series! Now would you care to take a gue-? No, it’s not Inside Out 2, try again… Nope, not Dune 2 either, although we get how you might have- Ok, no, not Furiosa, and upon reflection maybe the set-up for this was a little too open-ended. No, goddammit, it’s not Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Think big, like a BIG and widely beloved… (sigh) No, not Despicable Me 4, Kung-Fu Panda 4, Bad Boys: Ride or Die, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Alien: Romulus or The Garfield Movie, you insipid poltroons! It’s Deadpool, alright?! It’s the new Deadpool! Wolverine’s here too, ok?! Ok… Jesus.

For the first ever Favourite Starring Role edition of Short n’ Sweet, the Pals deliberated long and hard about which actor to pick, which famed thespian they would trawl the filmography of in search for their best, most iconic part. What acclaimed performer has the consistency, the nuance, the restraint, nay, the well-established and totally unshakeable sanity to be worthy of such a choice? These questions were hard and boring, so we chose Nicolas Cage.

Are the Pals off their face, or are they ON their face? You be the judge!

Welcome to the Overrated Animated Short n’ Sweet,

Do we love or do we hate it? Guess you’re gonna sorta see!

Or actually, you’ll listen up, ‘cos podcasting’s an audio

Endeavour and it’s better if you focus, as you oughta know

Are they takin’ shots at Disney, rippin’ into anime?

Maybe they’re too busy just to let each other have a say

Regardless – and remember that they’re known to riff and rowel –

Get ready for this Short n’ Sweet of Throw in the Pal!