Throw in the Pal

In this edition of Short n' Sweet, Marcus has a Chris-py take: Hemsworth and Pine are basically the same guy. All I know is my girlfriend Pines after one, and is Thor after seeing another. Join us for this bite sized battle of the Chrises

Hey, what happens when the internal gets all external? Would it be just like that feeling when things are all a-jumble? Maybe even the same as when something typically housebound find its way unleashed upon the big wide world? Or, perhaps most common of all, it’s just like when you have a friend named Otto – who prefers the moniker ‘Out’ – who is the second person to sigh in explaining to you that the direction you’re looking for is one located within an inner sanctum, producing this very normal series of words:

“In,” sighed Out, too.

Well, f$%ckle-dee-dee, have we got an ep for you! Straight from the list of highest grossing films of all times, it’s time for Inside Palt 2!!!

Welcome to the first ever episode of Throw in the Pal - Short n Sweet! It's a comfy, bite-sized chunk stuffed with all the gooey goodness a regular ep might have, just at a fraction of the length. This week: Steven Spielberg's on the hook, as the Pals select their favourite Spiel-works and try to catch each other's, if they can. Jaw not gonna want to miss this E.T. (even tinier) episode!

This is Iron Man

Has Frank lost his mind?

Pulling high scores out of his behind!

Marcus will give his all

Cos this film didn't really make him go, "Whoa!"

Is Tom alive or dead?

Will he shut the f#%k up for once so we can listen to a single thing that someone else has said?!

We'll just leave it there

But listen if to the ep if you think you'd care

[Instrumental Break]

Everyone’s always asking, “What’s eating Gilbert’s grapes?” It’s never, “*How* are Gilbert’s grapes?” Well, the pals are gonna find out!

What do you get if you make someone madder than hell?

What is the Italian translation of Fast and the Furious?

What would be a surprisingly tasteful name for a furry convention?

The answer to all three, of course, is Furiosa!

Come get gassed up with some high-octane diesel as the Pals steer this V8 ep into a hydraulically-hectic ignition of epic Pal-portions.

CARS!

You've surely heard of Spectacular Steve, caught wind of Wondrous Warwick, made note of Not-Bad Norbit, felt the rumblings of Rah-Rah Reginald... which is great, cos those guys are all swell!

Anyway, listen to this week's episode of Throw in the Pal, which is about a movie called Magic Mike.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

Q: I'm here today for Primetime Pals, interviewing our latest guest: an honest-to-God vampire!

V: The world is a murky tomb and I am its deathless curator.

Q: Uh-huh, sounds great! So, what's it like being a prince of darkness, a scourge upon the lifeblood of us mortals, an exsanguinator par excellence?

V: Oh, y'know, it's pretty drab.

Q: I'm sure that's not true! Why, sitting before me right now is one resplendent fellow, dressed to the nines, your mane of hair set perfectly, with the porcelain pallidness of a marble statue.

V: [sigh] I'm terribly sad.

Q: ...ok. Well, why don't you give us some insight into the enthralling, devious behaviour your bloodlust has drawn out of you?

V: I mean, what's the point of it all, really?

Q: Jesus Christ, mate, you're a f%&king bummer, aye?

V: I just miss Lestat so much.

Q: Who's Lestat, another albino sad boy?

V: He was a deranged, pansexual madman who wrought bloody havoc every which way he went.

Q: WHERE'S THAT GUY?! He sounds like tons of fun!

V: I set him on fire and fed him to an alligator.

Q: Ok, now that's interesting! Tell me more.

V: It was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'll never forgive myself.

Q: Gah, you're insuffera-Pal!

The Godfather, which art so splendid,

Brando be thy name;

thy meatballs yum;

thy hothead Sonny

in dirt cause he was too reckless.

Give us this day a masculine child.

And forgive us our Clemenzas,

as we forgive those who use horse heads against us.

And leave the gun but not the cannoli,

and deliver us some pizza.

For thine is the business,

the Italian and American story,

bada bing, bada boom. Pal-men.

Allo guvnah, what's all this then? 'Ave I caught you geezers 'aving a right ole sticky beak at Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)? Well, I hope yer right chuffed with yourselves, you pim pom tiddlies! That's only Bridget's most cherished belonging, that is! So what 'ave you savvied from the bloody right gander you gave it? You wot?! You can't make heads nor tails of this 'ere tuppence? Well, don't get your knickers in a twist: these three blokes (which is Ye Olde for "Pals") will 'ave you right sorted.