I live in a constant state of panic of being behind.
 
Behind in being 'discovered' as an artist.
Behind in being established in my creative career.
Behind in the traditional female pressures of marriage, kids, the house with the white picket fence.

I wake up with this incredible pressure to catch up, as though everyone else started life ahead of me, and I'm still trying to get to the beginning of things.

It's another flavor of my anxiety, I'm sure, and it manifests in my starting - and abandoning - creative projects. I'm always convinced the other project, the one I'm not doing, is the one I should be doing RIGHT NOW.

So I stop, and switch.
And immediately become convinced that no, actually, that was the one I should be working on.

All of which leads to paralysis. And total shut down.
And no projects brought to completion. 

And, in the grand paradox of things, my panic leading to the exact thing I fear most.
That I'm letting time slip away without creating. 

This week I share about that pressure, how I'm working with it, and what I'm actively choosing to start practicing believing instead. 

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!

#CreatingIsHealing🦋