Hello and welcome back. Both of our guests in this episode have experienced what I have decided to call an uncommon experience within the TFMR community. Both have wisdom that we hope will help everyone who listens to feel less alone and more at peace with their choices.

Alison underwent a TFMR in her first pregnancy (travelling to the UK to receive this care), conceived through IVF, after issues were found with her baby's brain at her 20 week scan. In her second pregnancy, the same issues were found again and this time, they were able to find a genetic component that came from Alison. In this pregnancy, she decided to carry on and her baby died shortly after birth. She stresses that both experiences had their challenges, that neither was 'better', just different.

Megan was pregnant with fraternal twins when her daughter was found with anomaly's at the 20 week scan, one of the confirmed diagnosis's was for Spina Bifida, a so called 'grey diagnosis'. After travelling to Liverpool for the termination, she travelled back to Ireland carrying both her dead daughter and living son and went into spontaneous labour 2 weeks later and delivered a healthy boy. She talks about the difficulty in navigating grieving for her daughter while also caring for and bonding with her surviving baby boy.

As well as their stories, we also discuss the current situation in Ireland, what still needs to change and how this may happen. They are both very passionate about the need for further change in Ireland, to prevent more women having to travel to the UK for care.

Some resources:

Antenatal Results and Choices: https://www.arc-uk.org/for-parents/ending-a-pregnancy-twins-and-multiples/

Twins Trust Bereavement Support Facebook group

LMC Bereavement: https://lmcsupport.ie/

Book: The Impossible Choice

LMC Instagram: @lmc_bereavement_support

LMC Facebook: @LMC Support

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it's supportive and gives you hope for the future.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Hello, and welcome to this episode.

I'm speaking with Stephanie who had her TFMR in the 1990's. We really wanted to know what may have been different then, and maybe more crucially, how does this experience move with a person over such a long period of time?

This is such an interesting conversation, and I think many listeners will find themselves nodding along with Stephanie.

Things have changed, but there is still so much more to do. The silence around TFMR and pregnancy loss in general, is still so LOUD. It's why we're so appreciative of all our guests who come and share. 

Stephanie really highlights the importance of being kind to ourselves. Giving ourself space. Slowing down - at least at some point. So some questions for you, dear listeners:

How can you cultivate space and slowing? 

What support do you need? Who/where can you be supported?

Who can you share your story with?

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it's supportive and gives you hope for the future.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Hello and welcome to the start of Season 12.

I'm speaking with Sian and Katie, both of whom had a TFMR for a T21 (Down's Syndrome) diagnosis, in Sian's case, it happened twice. 

Receiving a diagnosis for T21 can often bring up a lot of different feelings. Having a TFMR for a T21 diagnosis can be particularly difficult for parents to work through.  

We want to reiterate here that receiving a 'grey' diagnosis is the most common group of diagnosis's for developing fetus's/babies and T21 is the single most common reason to have a TFMR - you are not alone.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it's supportive and gives you hope for the future.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Hello and welcome to today's episode.

Harriet joins us to talk about her 3rd Trimester TFMR at the end of 2024 after a chromosome translocation was confirmed, following multiple issues being flagged for her son Hamish.

She and her husband have also made the decision to stop trying to conceive.

Harriet speaks with real openness and honesty, and we're very grateful to her for sharing her experiences with us.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

In this episode, we carry on our discussion of third trimester TFMR from 'Part 1' (if you haven't listen to that one yet, you may want to listen to that one first). 

Joining me again are Hannah, Amy and Catherine. We spent quite a bit of time discussing how they told others about what was happening and how this felt for them, what information they shared, and what they have kept private.

We are really grateful to all the women, over the two episodes, that came on and spoke about their experiences. We hope you also get a lot of comfort and a sense of support from listening

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Welcome back. In today's episode I'm talking with Alice, Nicole and Amanda, all of whom are in the USA, about their experiences of TFMR for a 'grey' diagnosis.

Their babies had: Skeletal dysplasia, Giant omphalocele and Turner's syndrome.

We discuss how it can be really hard to talk about having a TFMR for a diagnosis that doesn't have a clear cut outcome. The climate in the USA around abortion is adding to this difficulty - guilt, shame and fear of judgment get in the way of opening up the conversation. The decision making process can weigh heavily with constantly questioning whether you're making the right decision. 

We want to reiterate here that receiving a 'grey' diagnosis is the most common group of diagnosis's for developing fetus's/babies. It is the most common reason women will then go on to have a TFMR, you are not alone.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it's supportive and gives you hope for the future.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Hello and welcome back.

Today I'm speaking with Natalie and her experience of receiving a Cystic Fibrosis diagnosis for her son Lachlan, which can be considered what we call in this community a 'grey diagnosis'. What is probably more accurate is to say CF is a spectrum diagnosis, something very common in a lot of people's experience of TFMR.

The added twist in Natalie's story is that her and her partner, Andrew, did not initially agree on how to proceed with this information. Natalie felt that a TFMR would be best for Lachlan, Andrew was, in Natalie's words, 'more optimistic' and felt they should give Lachlan a chance.

We are so grateful to Natalie for coming on and telling their story. We've never had someone talk about the impasse between themselves and their partner. How does a couple work this out - while staying together?

You'll have to listen to find out.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it's supportive and gives you hope for the future.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

In this episode four women joined me to talk about their experiences of having a third trimester TFMR in the UK. 

A resource is mentioned towards the end of the episode, and we all got the name wrong! It's Ellie's Gift, not Ellie's Wish (sorry Lucy!), you can find them on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook.

This is a very candid conversation, and much needed in this space. I want to thank Laura, Catherine, Hannah and Amy for their generous openness.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it's supportive and gives you hope for the future.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Hello, we're back with Season 11!

In this episode I'm talking with Jane Fisher from Antenatal Results & Choices (ARC) about the importance and challenge of sharing your TFMR story.

ARC has always used people's stories to help both describe what happens in a TFMR: emotional, physically and mentally. Telling your story is also a powerful way to share what has happened on your own terms, to really begin to own it and integrate it.

We discuss the different ways you can share, and what to think about when considering sharing, whether more publicly, or even just to those around you.

ARC has many stories, in various forms, on their website, including video. These are a source of comfort and information for those who have gone through a TFMR and for those supporting them.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it gives you hope for the future, whatever may come.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.

Hello and welcome to our final episode of season 10.

We're talking with Claire about her experience of multiple (3) TFMRs, two for a rare genetic condition that both Claire and her husband carry recessed genes for, and one for Spina Bifida.

Claire talks us through what happened and how it has impacted and changed her.

This is a really lovely episode about resilience and learning how to live with the uncertainty of life.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, that it gives you hope for the future, whatever may come.

You know we love to hear from you, so please get in touch and let us know what you think.

Social media: Instagram @TimeToTalkTFMR.

Email is [email protected]

This episode is supported by Antenatal Results and Choices. For more information on how they support women and couples click here or call them on 0207 713 7486.