To Be Single or Not to Be

Why is surrender so difficult...even when we say we trust God?

In this episode, we unpack the tension between control and faith. We explore the deeper issue beneath our need to manage outcomes, predict timelines, and force clarity - and why letting go can feel more threatening than staying in control.

Where did that need for control come from?
Is it fear? Past disappointment? A desire to protect ourselves from uncertainty?

This conversation uncovers why surrender isn’t passive, weak, or irresponsible. It’s active trust. It’s obedience without all the details. It’s choosing faith when the plan doesn’t match your expectations.

If you’ve been wrestling with delays, unanswered prayers, closed doors, or the anxiety of not knowing what’s next - this episode creates space to reflect on whether you’re truly trusting His plan... or trying to rewrite it.

Surrender isn’t about giving up.
It’s about handing it over.
Connect with me on Instagram or Facebook @tobesingleornottobe for more reflections and updates and follow me on Youtube @shaanamonet

What happens when honoring yourself starts to feel like disappointing everyone else?

In this episode, I explore the tension between authenticity and accommodation - especially for millennials who were often taught to keep the peace, stay quiet, and move on instead of talking things through. We unpack how silence became a coping mechanism, why self-sacrifice was mistaken for love, and how those habits are still shaping our relationships today.

This conversation looks at what it really means to stay true to yourself without becoming closed off, defensive, or selfish. Loving others doesn’t require self-erasure - it requires honest communication, emotional maturity, and boundaries that are lived, not just discussed.

If you’ve ever struggled to speak up, felt guilty for choosing yourself, or wondered how to love people without losing who you are, this episode offers space for reflection, clarity, and growth.

What happens when the version of you that once worked… no longer fits?

In the season premiere of To Be Single or Not To Be Podcast, Shaana opens Season 5 with an honest solo conversation about stepping out of performance and into alignment. This episode explores the difference between living a curated life and unconsciously performing one - and how reaching your 40's can bring clarity around energy, boundaries, and what truly matters.

Shaana reflects on letting go of fear of missing out, questioning long-standing patterns, navigating expectations from family, friends, and work, and learning how to exit spaces that no longer serve her - without drama or explanation.

This episode isn’t about reinvention. It’s about permission.

Permission to change.

Permission to choose yourself.

Permission to live authentically free.

If you’ve been feeling tired in ways rest doesn’t fix, this conversation is for you.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

- The difference between being curated and being performative

- Why growth sometimes looks quieter - not louder

- Releasing FOMO and choosing presence intentionally

- Navigating expectations without over explaining your life

- Learning how to gracefully leave spaces that no longer fit

Let’s Talk About Being Authentically Free is a season dedicated to honest conversations about alignment, self-trust, and showing up as who you are now - without guilt, performance, or pressure.

In this special and final episode of the Runnin' it Back Series, we take a deep dive into the state of relationships in 2024. It's a real, raw, and VERY necessary conversation that every woman seeking healthy and happy love needs to hear! Put those headphones on, get comfortable, and buckle up for a helluva meaningful ride that I promise you will be worth it!

On this episode we take a deep dive into the role that family plays in your dating life when you think it does not! It's essential for you to ask yourself questions like, who raised that man, what kind of upbringing did he have, was he taught to respect and value women, does he hate his family? Too many times we sign up for a relationship with a man before knowing their background and sometimes this means we lose before we even had a chance to win! So, get to know your potential partner inside and out, through and through from his bloodline and you may just save yourself from a ton of heartache later!

Watch the full visual episode on Youtube now on the Shaanah Montanna Youtube Channel:

https://youtu.be/lXjsIuydqts?si=a7A4IdOirQbE8AzE

On this episode we take a deep dive into the conversations around market value so we can lay it to rest! Market value is more than skin and pockets deep. Yet, it still lies in the hands of the beholder. Your value begins and ends in you and within you. So, how marketable are you and are you sure you have the right "things" on the market? Let's talk about!

FULL visual episode available now on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna

On this episode we take a deep dive into the role that family plays in your dating life when you think it does not! It's essential for you to ask yourself questions like, who raised that man, what kind of upbringing did he have, was he taught to respect and value women, does he hate his family? Too many times we sign up for a relationship with a man before knowing their background and sometimes this means we lose before we even had a chance to win! So, get to know your potential partner inside and out, through and through from his bloodline and you may just save yourself from a ton of heartache later!

Shop the Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection:

https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna

On this episode we take a deep dive into the areas you need to make sure you fully tap into before you decide to commit to a new relationship! These are items that call for us to step out of the laziness that has led us to bad partner selection in the past and will force us to put in the work to determine if they are a good partner for us on the front end so we won't regret it on the back end if we find out they weren't.

FULL visual episode available now on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna

Shop the new Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection:

https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna

On this episode we take a deep dive into the areas you need to make sure you fully tap into before you decide to commit to a new relationship! These are items that call for us to step out of the laziness that has led us to bad partner selection in the past and will force us to put in the work to determine if they are a good partner for us on the front end so we won't regret it on the back end if we find out they weren't.

On this episode we take a deep dive into what friendship really means and looks like in the digital age of premature dismissals. If they are really your friend and someone you say you care about, then watch this episode to continue moving forth in grace and accordingly! Platonic friendships deserve the same grace, time, attention, and energy that we give romantic partnerships. So, let's acknowledge and own that and started treating our friends as good as we say they deserve.

FULL visual episode available now on YouTube!

https://youtube.com/@shaanahmontanna

Shop the Shaanah Montanna Journal Collection:

https://www.amazon.com/author/shaanahmontanna