Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is open. Have you found certain places or situations that make you more open to experiencing the richness of life? Charlotte told me that she believes traveling has that effect on most people. Charlotte was someone I met while sitting in an Internet cafe in Londonderry, Northern Ireland. Due to poor planning and a lack of email communication, I had missed an opportunity to stay with a guy from CouchSurfing.com, so I leaned over to Charlotte and asked if she knew anyone I could stay with. I normally wouldn’t be open to asking this kind of question, but when you’re in a foreign city and have nowhere else to stay, it changes things. Surprisingly, she said that she had noticed that I was on the CouchSurfing website and that I could stay with her. That night, Charlotte talked me into going with her to watch a film called Turistas about a group of travelers who have their organs harvested by the locals. Was this part of her diabolical plan to foreshadow how the night would go? Thankfully, no, and Charlotte apologized for taking me to what was, for many reasons, a terrible choice of film. Well, I guess this has turned into a cautionary tale about being too open to experiences. My wife has taught me to keep at least one foot grounded in awareness because a little discernment can have a large impact on the rest of your life. I actually have another story about a possible close call while traveling, but I’ll save that for another episode.

Today’s concrete challenge is to walk the line of openness and caution. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do? Write down what it is, when you’ll do it, and a safe way to see it through.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will come up with a good plan to do what I’ve always wanted.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who thinks AND leaps.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

My original blog post about the Londonderry adventure

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Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is unsure. If I could take away one thing from both popular psychology and marriage it’s that I need to admit that I’m unsure. Too many times I’ve told my wife that something would surely happen, and then it didn’t. It’s usually not even big things, either. Just today, my wife asked if the dump was open so that we could get rid of an old mattress. My thought was, “Why wouldn’t they be open on a Monday?” so I said, “Yes.” It turned out that the answer to “Why wouldn’t they be?” is simply, “Because they aren’t.” As luck would have it, I’m not the only one who’s bad at prediction. Whether it’s assuming on your wedding day that there’s no way your marriage could end in divorce or believing that you will probably never get in [cough] another wreck, most of us stay blissfully ignorant. As Dan Gilbert puts it in his book, Stumbling on Happiness, “Your mistake was not in imagining things you could not know—that is, after all, what imagination is for. Rather, your mistake was in unthinkingly treating what you imagined as though it were an accurate representation of the facts.” So, what are the facts? One fact is that you, me, and everyone else is unsure about whether we will live another day, much less make it to the dump that just happens to be closed. Life is precious and fragile, and it’s better lived in the realization that we don’t know most outcomes until they happen.

Today’s concrete challenge is to admit that you’re unsure.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write down or tell someone at least one thing that I’m unsure about.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who admits that I’m unsure.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Todd Gilbert

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Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is add. What are you adding to your home, your workplace, or your friend groups? This feels like an aggressive question, but I think it’s one worth asking. In her article, “3 Key Mindset Shifts That Made Me a Significantly Happier Person,” Ria T calls out the contributor mindset as key to helping her understand how to excel at work. Instead of trying to “work the room,” she asks herself, “How can I add value here?” Without putting a name to the practice, I feel like I learned the same lesson at the boys’ home, where I worked after college. There were no bonuses to be earned or much praise to be had, but it was an opportunity to do some job crafting, as Amy Wrzesniewski calls the practice of adding enjoyable aspects to your current work. At some point in working with the guys, I realized that their computer in the corner of the rec room didn’t even fully boot. This made me wonder if my experience in computer use and repair could be useful, not only to my employer by fixing the rec room computer but also to the guys by teaching them a little bit about PCs. A fellow PC enthusiast helped me gather some fixer upper computer towers, and I started meeting with individual residents for some simple computer classes. My point is not to say how great I am, rather to illustrate how we can add value to our own lives and the lives of those around us by asking, “What am I good at, and how can I use it to add value where I am?” Last, I would be remiss if I fail to mention that you have intrinsic value. Just by being present, you are adding value to a room.

Today’s concrete challenge is to write down one tiny way you can actively add value to your home, work, or friend groups. It’ll help you craft a new reality for yourself and those around you.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write down one thing I’m good at that I can add to my work, home, or friends.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who adds value.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

3 Key Mindset Shifts That Made Me a Significantly Happier Person 

JOB CRAFTING AND CULTIVATING POSITIVE MEANING AND IDENTITY IN WORK

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Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is helpless, and we’re throwing it a life preserver. [splash] Helplessness is tricky, because it’s basically a mirage. Learned helplessness is a very real psychological trait that we share with other animals, but it’s still just based in belief. If you’re not familiar with Seligman and Overmier’s experiments with dogs and electric shocks, here’s the gist. They had three groups of dogs, where the first group was simply harnessed for a short time and then released. Group 2 were given electric shocks in a confined space, and they could press a lever to end the electricity. Whenever these dogs were shocked, a paired dog in Group 3 was shocked with the same amount of electricity, but the lever near this dog did not stop the electricity. As you might expect, Group 3 dogs learned that their actions could not stop the electricity, so they sat down and whined helplessly, even when, in the second part of the experiment, all they had to do was jump over a small barrier to escape the electric shocks. No amount of threats, rewards, or demonstrations would convince Group 3 dogs that they had the power to help themselves. The only solution was to physically guide the dogs through the process of moving over the barrier and away from the shocks, and this had to be done more than once to convince Group 3 dogs that they could do it themselves. This whole experimental situation was, of course, unfair to the dogs in Group 3. They were tricked into believing that they had no power, and the same thing happens to humans. The New York Post has an interesting article about luxury beliefs and how affluent people downplay the importance of marriage, religion, and hard work. Did you catch that last one? By projecting that everything happens by chance, these people who have enough money to not need hard work in their lives are inviting all of us into a Group 3 situation. Don’t fall for it. You’re not helpless. You have some control over your life and actions, and that’s all the Group 3 dogs needed in order to get to a better place.

Today’s concrete challenge is to go through the motions of success. Just like the Group 3 dogs, maybe we just need to feel the steps in order to believe that they’re possible. Find someone who will role play with you that job interview, positive parenting interaction, or whatever situation that feels impossible right now.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write down the scene that I need to role play and someone who could help me with it.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who is not helpless.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

Learned helplessness on Wikipedia 

'Luxury beliefs' are latest status symbol for rich Americans 

"Splash" by swordofkings128

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is proximity. Have you ever realized that people who seemed so different from yourself are actually really similar? My father used to help out with a program at our church that gave homeless people shelter for the night. I remember going with him when I was maybe 9 or 10 years old, and as I watched them set up their sleeping space and I saw kids with their parents, I had the epiphany that they were simply people, like myself. I might never have had that realization without proximity. Bryan Stevenson at NYU says that proximity to people who are poor or different from ourselves is essential in creating any kind of social change. There is a link to his presentation in the show notes. I’ve worked in disability services professionally, and the same realization has happened there. Someone with a disability is simply and fully a person. Act accordingly.

Today’s concrete challenge is to get proximate to people who are different from yourself and your circle. I know the pandemic has made this difficult, but the opportunity is reemerging. I plan to go work at the public library space down from my house once a week to see what revelations still exist.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will find people to interact with that are different from myself.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who sees that we’re all the same.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

The Power of Proximity | CEO Initiative 2018

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is whole. Happiness science is a booming field right now. In particular, Dr. Laurie Santos’s Happiness Course tries to get people to practice fulfilling, wholesome acts in order to feel complete. All those words, fulfilling, wholesome, and complete, speak to a common human urge. We all want to be whole. We want to feel cared for and to care for others. We want our work to fit into a bigger picture. As Robin Pecknold of Fleet Foxes sings, “I'd rather be a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me.” How do we get there? I think part of it is just believing that you are whole. John Milton wrote, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.” We have some power over our perception, and it’s up to us to try to leverage our own minds. We’ve featured a soundtrack at the end of each episode to encourage you, me, and everyone else to widen our frame of identity. Let’s look at one that might help us to feel more whole through simple daily repetition.

Today’s concrete challenge is to post the following phrases and repeat them at the beginning and end of each day to see if it affects your feeling of wholeness. You might feel a little ridiculous saying it aloud, but try saying, “I am whole. I am happy. I am harmonious with others.”

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write the affirmation and say it twice a day for one week.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who is whole.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is space. When I go out for exercise, I love listening to anything that teaches, challenges, or inspires. Today, I listened to Greg McKeown’s interview with Rachel Cooke, and one phrase stuck out as gold. Ms. Cooke asks what we can do to “infuse one small breath” into someone else’s day. In other words, how can we give someone space to breathe as a tiny act of service toward them? This kind of practice reminds me of a 7-day Love Notes challenge that I created. In it, participants conveyed their love and appreciation for their partner in a specific, small way each day. The important aspect of what Ms. Cooke is saying and my Love Notes challenge is a bias toward action. I feel that I am still too passive in my marriage, even after researching concrete principles and practices. That’s why it’s vital to keep things simple. Even when you’re overwhelmed, picture that one tiny act of love and service that you can do now. They’ll appreciate the space to breathe.

Today’s concrete challenge is to take just a minute to think of one tiny act of service for someone in your life. If you have time, go ahead and perform it now.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will think of one act to give them space to breathe.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who serves others.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is routine. For the past four months, I have had a routine of waking up, getting some coffee and sitting down to write a podcast episode. That routine was stressed last week while we were out of our house for some home repairs, and it was finally broken yesterday when I didn’t write an episode after a streak of 120 consecutive days. The disruption also spirals out to smaller parts of my daily routine, like stretching and supplements. What do you do when YOUR routine is broken? Option 1 is to write a podcast episode about it. Many times, though, we just stop moving forward when our routine is messed up. Hey, good things in your life require incremental progress, so please don’t give up. Just like I’m doing now, lower the bar so that you can continue building your road.

Today’s concrete challenge is to describe your destination. Chip and Dan Heath talk about a “destination postcard” in their book, Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard. Write a postcard style blurb to yourself from a hypothetical future where you are in your desired location or state of being. Be sure to include details about how it feels to be there!

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will write myself a destination postcard now.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who continues.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

References:

Destination Postcards Activity

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip Heath

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is better. When you picture a better toothbrush, what comes to mind? [pause] My bet is that you are thinking of an electric toothbrush, and maybe electric toothbrushes do have the capability to clean teeth more thoroughly. It’s easy to assume, though, that more complex is always better. I’ve mentioned the book, Essentialism, a couple times recently because its central tenet, “Less but better,” can apply to any area of life. With the toothbrush, you can ask, “Would an electric or manual toothbrush help me to move toward ‘less but better?’” You have to answer that question for yourself, but you don’t have to be right the first time. Maintain some humility and grace by being okay with trying again. Find the better option while pursuing less complexity in your life.

Today’s concrete challenge is to clean out a drawer. Use the “less but better” credo to evaluate whether you need the things you are keeping.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will clean out one drawer today at (blank) o’clock.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who is okay with less but better.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations

Full transcript here 👋 Hey, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. This is your life. This is your chance. Listen.

The word for today is strategy. If you’ve ever played a game with people that were already familiar with the game’s strategies, you probably found that it was difficult to keep up, much less compete. Was your strategy in Monopoly to buy every property you landed on, or were you more discerning? Strategies are powerful when they work. I heard from a local runner, after she ran 40 miles in the Tennessee summer, that she developed her method in the middle of the race. She noticed that a lot of the men were walking through the heat, where they felt sapped of energy, and then running under the shaded spots on the road. She decided to do the opposite, even though it made sunny stretches more uncomfortable. Her strategy made it possible to run 40 miles at the same pace that I eked out my best 10 miler in the same heat. What strategies would help you to win in daily life? We’ve looked at investing, choosing some quiet times, and changing your mental soundtracks. Find a strategy that works for you.

Today’s concrete challenge is to do a little digging on the Internet, if you don’t have a strategy in mind. In what area of your life do you want a better strategy? If you find that one strategy doesn’t work well for you, there’s a low cost of switching, so don’t be afraid to try.

If you want to commit, say the following phrase: “I will find and implement a new strategy.”

I’ll keep the music playing while you get it done, and don’t miss the soundtrack at the end of this episode.

Before you go, repeat the following soundtrack, “I am the kind of person who isn’t afraid to try something new.”

Let me know if this made a difference in your day by leaving a comment in your podcast app or at concrete.win/today.

Check back tomorrow for a new challenge. Until then.

Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/today/donations