Toddler Purgatory

If you're enjoying listening to Toddler Purgatory, we'd love for you to take our listener survey. One page, two minutes. We promise! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey

When we hear our kids say something negative about themselves, sometimes we freak out a little. Where did they hear this? Where is this coming from? Who is messing with my baby? !

Most often, if a kid calls herself “stupid” because she’s frustrated with homework, she might just be venting. Or joking. She might be showing us that she has a little rigidity around perfection. 

But when negative self-talk is insistent, consistent, and persistent, it can also be a sign of stress or anxiety. 

In this episode we discuss how to better understand our kids’ negative self-talk, and the most productive ways of responding. There’s a bonus: turns out most of those strategies also work for our own “No, are you kidding? I look horrible, the pandemic has aged me a decade!” moments.

Here are links to two resources we discuss in this episode: 

Andrew M.I. Lee for Understood: Why Kids Say Negative Things About Themselves 

https://www.understood.org/articles/en/child-negative-self-talk

@transformingtoddlerhood on Instagram

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

KiwiCo is the perfect kids' gift this holiday season– a fun, hands-on educational experience. Get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with the code LAUGHING at kiwico.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The list of typical parenting fears is longer than a CVS receipt, and for us, researching this episode didn’t exactly make that list shorter. Turns out there are big picture, hypothetical fears, most common before the baby actually arrives; there are societally imposed, nightly-news sort of fears; and for most of us, a few more “I know this sounds crazy but” fears, which we have made up all on our own. 

It’s hard not to want to bubble wrap our kids until college… but since there are probably some negative side effects to that as well, in this episode we discuss how to manage our relationships with some of the most common parenting fears.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Connie Mattiessen for BabyCenter: Top 5 parenting fears and what you can do about them

Paul Donahue: Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters

Dr. Minne Fekkes et al: Effects of Antibullying School Program on Bullying and Health Complaints

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

KiwiCo is the perfect kids' gift this holiday season– a fun, hands-on educational experience. Get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with the code LAUGHING at kiwico.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Regression is what happens when a child revisits an earlier stage of his or her development– and behaves accordingly. Paradoxically, regression can happen right after a child makes a developmental leap or meets a new milestone. Dr. Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, suggests that regression is a manifestation of the constant push-and-pull little kids feel between the need for dependence and the desire for independence.

But how are parents supposed to react? Are we supposed to let them start dragging their blankie to pre-K? Is pushback totally required or a terrible idea?

In this episode, we discuss what works to discourage the regressive behavior, how to know when to just allow or ignore it, and how to do with our own stress that yes, actually our child will be the first person in history to walk down the aisle at college graduation still using a pacifier. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Caroline Vollans for Nursery World: An Essential Guide To Regression

Melinda Wenner Moyer for the New York Times: Wait, I Thought You Had Outgrown This

Unity Point: Regressive Behavior: Signs of Child Regression & What to Do

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

KiwiCo is the perfect kids' gift this holiday season– a fun, hands-on educational experience. Get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with the code LAUGHING at kiwico.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why are parents so tired all the time? Perhaps it’s the whole not sleeping thing. But a recent study on maternal exhaustion found that perfectionism is also a huge factor. In other words, we run ourselves ragged making things nice for our loved ones, and then are too exhausted to enjoy those things ourselves. 

In this episode, we talk about how our exhaustion affects our parenting, how the pandemic has made it all even harder, and what we’re trying in order to get just a little more rest. 

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Dr. Sarah Hubert et al: Parental Burnout: When Exhausted Mothers Open Up

Gabriela Garcia for The Every Mom: 5 Ways To Fight Mom Fatigue

@kids.eat.in.color on Instagram

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Home Chef meals come right to your door with fresh, perfectly pre-portioned ingredients and an easy-to-follow recipe card. For a limited time, go to homechef.com/laughing for $90 off your first month. That’s a value of 10 free meals! 

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transitions are hard for little kids, and it’s not hard to see why: they usually move a kid from something that they’re absorbed in and enjoying to something a lot less interesting and fun.

In this episode we talk about how to deal with the meltdowns, talking back, and general resistance around transitions, and how to make those moments easier, whether it’s a “big picture” transition like starting school, or just time to leave the playground.

We talk about Claire Lerner’s excellent advice in this episode– check out What Fresh Hell’s recent interview with Claire: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/claire-lerner

And here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Dyan Robson for the CBC: How To Help Kids Who Struggle With Daily Transitions

Claire Lerner for PBS Kids: How to Help Your Child Successfully Transition Back to School

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Home Chef meals come right to your door with fresh, perfectly pre-portioned ingredients and an easy-to-follow recipe card. For a limited time, go to homechef.com/laughing for $90 off your first month. That’s a value of 10 free meals! 

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

dosist health offers an advanced assortment of plant-based CBD+ products designed to help address specific needs like, sleep, calm and relief. Use promo code TODDLER20 for 20% off your purchase through 11/30/21 at dosisthealth.com.

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you have a kid who insists that a sandwich is inedible unless it is cut in half instead on the diagonal? A child who won't allow you to sing in the car? A little one who insists that every truck that is not a pickup truck must be deemed a "regular truck"? If so, you have labored under the strict dictatorship of Little Kid Rules.

On this episode Blaire and Molly dive in to why little kids have such strong rules, why they expect adults to follow them, and which members of the What Fresh Hell Facebook Group are currently toiling under some very specific dictates from their tiny bosses!

Articles Cited:

Claire Lerner on Getting Kids to Be Flexible

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Calm is the # 1 mental wellness app that gives you the tools to improve the way you feel. Go to calm.com/toddler to get 40% off a CalmPremium Subscription!

Choose Lovevery and take the guesswork out of your child’s play! Get free shipping when you sign up to receive your play kits at lovevery.com/laughing.

Home Chef meals come right to your door with fresh, perfectly pre-portioned ingredients and an easy-to-follow recipe card. For a limited time, go to homechef.com/laughing for $90 off your first month. That’s a value of 10 free meals! 

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

dosist health offers an advanced assortment of plant-based CBD+ products designed to help address specific needs like, sleep, calm and relief. Use promo code TODDLER20 for 20% off your purchase through 11/30/21 at dosisthealth.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A good morning starts with a good night before. Kids who are well-rested tend to have an easier morning the next day. Any prep we can do the night before– laying out clothes, prepping breakfast and lunches in advance– can help make the morning routing less chaotic.

The morning routine also brings us back to the classic parenting rule "Put your own oxygen mask on first." If you can take even a little time for yourself while you let your kids play in the morning, it can help you face the rest of your day, and your kids, in a better headspace.

On busy mornings, consider turning off the tech once everyone is up. Fighting over when it's time to turn off screens and get ready can add conflict to a situation that's already chaotic.

But we say do what works for you and your family. Don't try to completely revamp your morning routine all at once. Start small with one change, like taking a shower before the kids wake up or making a protein-rich breakfast for the whole family. Don't try to make everything perfect right away. Not every morning will be smooth sailing, but small changes can make a big difference in making your mornings just a little less stressful.

Articles cited in this episode:

The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child (featuring Dr. Jerry Bubrick of the Child Mind Institute)

Busy Toddler

This Simple Balance

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Calm is the # 1 mental wellness app that gives you the tools to improve the way you feel. Go to calm.com/toddler to get 40% off a CalmPremium Subscription!

Choose Lovevery and take the guesswork out of your child’s play! Get free shipping when you sign up to receive your play kits at lovevery.com/laughing.

Home Chef meals come right to your door with fresh, perfectly pre-portioned ingredients and an easy-to-follow recipe card. For a limited time, go to homechef.com/laughing for $90 off your first month. That’s a value of 10 free meals! 

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

dosist health offers an advanced assortment of plant-based CBD+ products designed to help address specific needs like, sleep, calm and relief. Use promo code TODDLER20 for 20% off your purchase through 11/30/21 at dosisthealth.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Studies indicate that up to 50% of children experience a sleep problem. When babies and kids don't sleep moms don't sleep either– so this week we're talking to a sleep expert! Becca Campbell is the founder and creator of Little Z’s® Sleep Consulting , where parents can easily get sleep help through online courses for children ages 0-5 years old. Becca's courses and her Little Z's Sleep Podcast have helped thousands of families around the world make sleep a thing.

In this episode Becca brings the knowledge on

Doing the extra work around sleep is worth it in the long run– and Becca is full of terrific advice.

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Calm is the # 1 mental wellness app that gives you the tools to improve the way you feel. Go to calm.com/toddler to get 40% off a CalmPremium Subscription!

Choose Lovevery and take the guesswork out of your child’s play! Get free shipping when you sign up to receive your play kits at lovevery.com/laughing.

Home Chef meals come right to your door with fresh, perfectly pre-portioned ingredients and an easy-to-follow recipe card. For a limited time, go to homechef.com/laughing for $90 off your first month. That’s a value of 10 free meals! 

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

dosist health offers an advanced assortment of plant-based CBD+ products designed to help address specific needs like, sleep, calm and relief. Use promo code TODDLER20 for 20% off your purchase through 11/30/21 at dosisthealth.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom guilt. Mom rage. Shame. We feel the things. Then we feel bad about feeling the things. Which doesn't help us feel any better.

In this episode we discuss how to acknowledge, anticipate, sit with, process, and redirect these feelings, without beating ourselves up for having felt them in the first place.

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Pooja Lakshmin for The New York Times: Saying No Is Self-Care For Parents

Motherly: Mom Rage is Real-and it's a sign that mother's needs aren't being met 

Lauren Smith Brody for Today's Parent: Why mom guilt is the biggest lie of all

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Calm is the # 1 mental wellness app that gives you the tools to improve the way you feel. Go to calm.com/toddler to get 40% off a CalmPremium Subscription!

Choose Lovevery and take the guesswork out of your child’s play! Get free shipping when you sign up to receive your play kits at lovevery.com/laughing.

Home Chef meals come right to your door with fresh, perfectly pre-portioned ingredients and an easy-to-follow recipe card. For a limited time, go to homechef.com/laughing for $90 off your first month. That’s a value of 10 free meals! 

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

dosist health offers an advanced assortment of plant-based CBD+ products designed to help address specific needs like, sleep, calm and relief. Use promo code TODDLER20 for 20% off your purchase through 11/30/21 at dosisthealth.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you have little ones, you end up with a mountain of stuff you probably didn't need to buy– and a few things that are total sanity-savers. In this episode we're talking about all the stuff that got us through, and still is! Most of these are to help us take care of the kids. A few of them are just for us.

Here's a list of all the must-haves we discuss.... If your podcast app doesn't support clickable links, you can also find this list on our website: https://www.toddlerpurgatory.com/things-we-cant-live-without.

Blaire & Molly’s Suggestions:

Boppy Nursing Pillow https://amzn.to/2XEGIrI

Oxo Wipe Dispenser https://amzn.to/3nKkfnU

Utility Cart https://amzn.to/3CshR9D

Inglesina Fast Table Chair https://amzn.to/3CshR9D

Baby Brezza Formula Dispenser https://amzn.to/2XBhpH1

Baby Merlin Sleep Suit https://amzn.to/3zkcpU0

SwaddleMe Swaddle https://amzn.to/39daMgo

Keekaroo Changer https://amzn.to/3lwXdOM

Boon Countertop Drying Rack https://amzn.to/2VVdQec

Yeti Coffee Tumbler https://amzn.to/3kjJCuM

WildBird Ring Sling Carrier https://amzn.to/3zjL4l0

Disposable Placemats https://amzn.to/3klyaPk

Boudreaux’s Butt Paste https://amzn.to/3zt4TGB

Frida Nose Sucker https://amzn.to/3kpHv8D

Listener Suggestions:

Yeti Rambler https://amzn.to/3zsp5Iu

Thermos Funtainer https://amzn.to/3km7HRA

Fillable Baby Spoons https://amzn.to/3zpzsx0

Hatch Clock https://amzn.to/3krXd3g

Sleek Socket Outlet Protector https://amzn.to/3tVBbJ3

Kindle Fire for Kids https://amzn.to/3nPnydv

Eufy Security Camera https://amzn.to/3AvjLFJ

Magnatiles https://amzn.to/39kpQZN

As an Amazon Associate, Toddler Purgatory may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases.

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Calm is the # 1 mental wellness app that gives you the tools to improve the way you feel. Go to calm.com/toddler to get 40% off a CalmPremium Subscription!

Choose Lovevery and take the guesswork out of your child’s play! Get free shipping when you sign up to receive your play kits at lovevery.com/laughing.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

dosist health offers an advanced assortment of plant-based CBD+ products designed to help address specific needs like, sleep, calm and relief. Use promo code TODDLER20 for 20% off your purchase through 11/30/21 at dosisthealth.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices