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“New York streets where killers'll walk like Pistol Pete

And Pappy Mason, gave the young boys admiration

Prince from Queens and Fritz from Harlem

Street legends, the drugs kept the hood from starvin'

Pushin' cars, Nicky Barnes was the '70s

But there's a long list of high-profile celebrities.” I met some Bloods and some Crips on rare occasions. We acted nice to each other.

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“Everyone absorbs the myth that males aren’t victims, to some extent. It’s central to masculine gender socialization, and boys pick up on it very early in life. This myth implies that a boy or man who has been sexually used or abused will never be a “real man.” Our society expects males to be able to protect themselves. Successful men are depicted as never being vulnerable, either physically or emotionally. (See How It Can Be Different for Men and How Being Male Can Make It Hard to Heal.)

Whether you agree with that definition of masculinity or not, boys are not men. They are children. They are weaker and more vulnerable than those who sexually abuse or exploit them – who use their greater size, strength and knowledge to manipulate or coerce boys into unwanted sexual experiences and staying silent. This is usually done from a position of authority (e.g., coach, teacher, religious leader) or status (e.g. older cousin, admired athlete, social leader), using whatever means are available to reduce resistance, such as attention, special privileges, money or other gifts, promises or bribes, even outright threats.

What happens to any of us as children does not need to define us as adults or men. It is important to remember that 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before age 18 (see The 1 in 6 Statistic), and that those boys can grow up to be strong, powerful, courageous and healthy men. Examples are found in our Male Survivor Stories section, and there are many others out there.”

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“Various sexual acts are traded for money or other goods across the world. Ethical positions on sex work may depend on the type of sex act traded and the conditions in which it is traded, there are for example additional ethical concerns over the abrogation of autonomy in the situation of trafficked sex workers.

Sex work has been a particularity divisive issue within feminism. Some feminists may regard sex work as an example of societal oppression of the sex workers by the patriarchy. The ethical argument underlying this position is that despite the apparent consent of the sex worker, the choice to engage in sex work is often not an autonomous choice, because of economic, familial or societal pressures. Sex work may also be seen as an objectification of women. An opposing view held by other feminists such as Wendy McElroy is that sex work is a means of empowering women, the argument here being that in sex work women are able to extract psychological and financial power over men which is a justified correction of the power unbalance inherent in a patriarchal society. Some feminists regard to sex work as simply a form of labor which is neither morally good or bad, but subject to the same difficulties of other labor forms.

If sex work is accepted as unethical, there is then the dispute over which parties of the contract are responsible for the ethical or legal breach. Traditionally, in many societies, the legal and ethical burden of guilt has been placed largely on the sex worker rather than consumers. In recent decades, some countries such as Sweden, Norway and Iceland have rewritten their laws to outlaw the buying of sexual services but not its sale (although they still retain laws and use enforcement tactics which sex workers say are deleterious to their safety, such as pressuring to have sex workers evicted from their residences[44]).”

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“Child prostitution is prostitution involving a child, and it is a form of commercial sexual exploitation of children. The term normally refers to prostitution of a minor, or person under the legal age of consent. In most jurisdictions, child prostitution is illegal as part of general prohibition on prostitution. Child prostitution usually manifests in the form of sex trafficking, in which a child is kidnapped or tricked into becoming involved in the sex trade, or survival sex, in which the child engages in sexual activities to procure basic essentials such as food and shelter. Prostitution of children is commonly associated with child pornography, and they often overlap. Some people travel to foreign countries to engage in child sex tourism. Research suggests that there may be as many as 10 million children involved in prostitution worldwide.[1] The practice is most widespread in South America and Asia, but prostitution of children exists globally,[2] in undeveloped countries as well as developed.[3] Most of the children involved with prostitution are girls, despite an increase in the number of young boys in the trade.

All member countries of the United Nations have committed to prohibiting child prostitution, either under the Convention on the Rights of the Child or the Optional Protocol on the Sale of Children, Child Prostitution and Child Pornography. Various campaigns and organizations have been created to try to stop the practice. Several definitions have been proposed for prostitution of children. The United Nations defines it as "the act of engaging or offering the services of a child to perform sexual acts for money or other consideration with that person or any other person".[4] The Convention on the Rights of the Child's Optional Protocol on the Sale of Children, Child Prostitution, and Child Pornography defines the practice as "the act of obtaining, procuring or offering the services of a child or inducing a child to perform sexual acts for any form of compensation or reward". Both emphasize that the child is a victim of exploitation, even if apparent consent is given.[5] The Worst Forms of Child Labour Convention, 1999, (Convention No 182) of the International Labour Organization (ILO) describes it as the "use, procuring or offering of a child for prostitution".[6]

According to the International Labour Office in Geneva, prostitution of children and child pornography are two primary forms of child sexual exploitation, which often overlap.[2] The former is sometimes used to describe the wider concept of commercial sexual exploitation of children (CSEC). It excludes other identifiable manifestations of CSEC, such as commercial sexual exploitation through child marriage, domestic child labor, and the trafficking of children for sexual purposes.[7]

The terminology applied to the practice is a subject of dispute. The United States Department of Justice states, "The term itself implies the idea of choice, when in fact that is not the case."[8] Groups that oppose the practice believe that the terms child prostitution and child prostitute carry problematic connotations because children are generally not expected to be able to make informed decisions about prostitution. As an alternative, they use the terms prostituted children and the commercial sexual exploitation of children.[9] Other groups use the term child sex worker to imply that the children are not always "passive victims".[9]. Some victims are runaways from home or State institutions, others are sold by their parents or forced or tricked into prostitution, and others are street children. Some are amateurs and others professionals. Although one tends to think first and foremost of young girls in the trade, there is an increase in the number of young boys involved in prostitution. The most disquieting cases are those children who are forced into the trade and then incarcerated. These children run the possible further risk of torture and subsequent death.”

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“Although there have been many chronicles of the history of Unitarian Universalism, perhaps the most notable one is the widely-read pamphlet Unitarian Universalist Origins: Our Historic Faith by Mark W. Harris. The following are several excerpts from this valuable document:

“Two thousand years ago liberals were persecuted for seeking the freedom to make religious choices, but such freedom has become central to both Unitarianism and Universalism. As early as the 1830s, both groups were studying and promulgating texts from world religions other than Christianity. By the beginning of the twentieth century, humanists within both traditions advocated that people could be religious without believing in God. No one person, no one religion, can embrace all religious truths.

“By the middle of the twentieth century it became clear that Unitarians and Universalists could have a stronger liberal religious voice if they merged their efforts, and they did so in 1961, forming the Unitarian Universalist Association. Many Unitarian Universalists (UUs) became active in the civil rights movement. James Reeb, a Unitarian Universalist minister, was murdered in Selma, Alabama after he and twenty percent of the denomination’s ministers responded to Martin Luther King, Jr.’s call to march for justice.

“….Our history has carried us from liberal Christian views about Jesus and human nature to a rich pluralism that includes theist and atheist, agnostic and humanist, pagan, Christian, Jew, and Buddhist.”

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“We Are on the Same Page

When you compare the following quotations, you will see that, indeed, we are both on the same page.

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.” – Buddha

“If I see lonely people, people who have been jailed unjustly and have lost their freedom, people who are suffering from illness, disaster or poverty, I will not abandon them. I will bring them spiritual and material comfort.” — Shrimala, the daughter of King Prasenajit and a contemporary of Buddha

“All of the world’s major religions, with their emphasis on love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness can and do promote inner values. But the reality of the world today is that grounding ethics in religion is no longer adequate. This is why I am increasingly convinced that the time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics beyond religion altogether.” — The Dalai Lama

“When you catch yourself slipping into a pool of negativity, notice how it derives from nothing other than resistance to the current situation.” — Donna Quesada, Buddha in the Classroom: Zen Wisdom to Inspire Teachers

“The natural sympathy and understanding of people everywhere must be the soil in which the new humanism can thrive.” — Daisaku Ikeda in “A New Humanism: The University Addresses of Daisaku Ikeda”

“Impartial, compassionate, brave, and understanding…these are the traits that come with putting the Noble Eightfold Path into practice. By following this path, anyone can become the kind of leader the Buddha hoped to see — a leader of peace.” — Victoria Stoklasa, Buddhism and Politics: Citizens, Politicians, and the Noble Eightfold Path

“The manifestation of humanism is evident in Buddhist teachings. For example, the concept of Noble Eightfold Path (or the way leading to the cessation of suffering) in Agama Sutra and the spirit of altruism (or compassion) in Mahayana Buddhism are based on the beliefs of self respect and goodwill toward other individuals; both are fundamental viewpoints of humanism.”

— Xiao Lihua, National Taiwan University in “The Spirit of Humanism in Buddhism”

Lastly we will share a number of insightful statements by Pema Chödrön, an ordained nun and notable American figure in Tibetan Buddhism. A prolific author, she has conducted workshops, seminars, and meditation retreats in Europe, Australia, and throughout North America.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

“We don’t set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people’s hearts.”

“Better to join in with humanity than to set ourselves apart.”

“Compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others.”

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“Basic ADLs consist of self-care tasks that include:[9]

Bathing and showering

Personal hygiene and grooming (including brushing/combing/styling hair)

Dressing

Toilet hygiene (getting to the toilet, cleaning oneself, and getting back up)

Functional mobility, often referred to as "transferring", as measured by the ability to walk, get in and out of bed, and get into and out of a chair; the broader definition (moving from one place to another while performing activities) is useful for people with different physical abilities who are still able to get around independently

Self-feeding (not including cooking or chewing and swallowing), as opposed to assisted feeding.”

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“It is not the belief in a deity that unites Secular Pagans but rather a belief in the 15 Guiding Principles of Secular Paganism. Some of which are:

— Ethical behavior does not require a religion

— The equality of genders, races, and all humans

— Our health depends on the Environment’s health

— Our individual actions can and do have consequences

— Evolution is an ongoing process that occurs in all species

— Respect for ourselves requires respect for the Earth

— Gods and Goddesses can be seen as metaphors.”

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“Male sexual objectification" involves a man being in publicity in a sexual context.

Instances where men may be viewed as sexualized can be in advertisements, music videos, films, television shows, beefcake calendars, women's magazines, male strip shows, and clothed female/nude male (CFNM) events.[12] Women also purchase and consume pornography.[13]

Within gay male communities, men are often objectified.[14] In 2007 a study found discussing negative effects of objectification was met with considerable resistance in the community. The sexual objectification of men of color may force them to play specific roles in sexual encounters that are not necessarily of their own choosing.[15]

Research suggests that the psychological effects of objectification on men are similar to those of women, leading to negative body image among men.[16]” “The sexual objectification of women involves them being viewed primarily as an object of male sexual desire, rather than as a whole person.[4][5][6] Although opinions differ as to which situations are objectionable, many see the objectification of women taking place in the sexually oriented depictions of women in advertising, art and media, pornography, the occupations of stripping and prostitution, and women being brazenly evaluated or judged sexually or aesthetically in public spaces and events, such as beauty contests.[7]

Some feminists and psychologists[8] argue that sexual objectification can lead to negative psychological effects including eating disorders, depression and sexual dysfunction, and can give women negative self-images because of the belief that their intelligence and competence are currently not being, nor will ever be, acknowledged by society.[6] Sexual objectification of women has also been found to negatively affect women's performance, confidence, and level of position in the workplace.[9] How objectification has affected women and society in general is a topic of academic debate, with some saying girls' understanding of the importance of appearance in society may contribute to feelings of fear, shame, and disgust during the transition to womanhood,[10] and others saying that young women are especially susceptible to objectification, as they are often taught that power, respect, and wealth can be derived from one's outward appearance.[11]”

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“What Do You Need in Order to Have Ethical Sex?

You need to know and be comfortable with your own body. This helps you to determine what you're comfortable consenting to and gives you an understanding of what you might like from your partner.

You need to be comfortable with your own sexuality and be able to experience sexual pleasure without guilt or shame. If you're ashamed of being sexual, you might not plan ahead for sex or might be less respectful of your partner's feelings and sexuality. This works against having both protected and respectful sex.

You need to speak up about your sexuality. If you aren't able to be assertive about what you'd like to do and what you wouldn't like to do, it's harder to have truly consensual sex.

You need to have respect for others' values. Your partner may not share the same values or beliefs about sex as you do and may be more or less comfortable with different ways of expressing sexuality. To have respectful sex, you need to respect those values.

You need to understand your own needs and your partner's needs. Understanding your own needs helps you express them to your partner, which enables respect. Understanding your partner's needs allows you to respect those needs in turn.

You need to understand what you're looking for in a sexual experience. Are you having sex because you care about the other person, because you want sexual pleasure, because you want the other person to care about you, or for other reasons? Part of respectful sex is respecting yourself by acknowledging what you want and honestly evaluating whether sex is the best method to obtain it. Depending on your goal, you might also need to think about whether acting on that goal through sex is respectful to your partner.

You need to be able to communicate with a sexual partner in sexual terms. If you aren't comfortable talking to your partner about protection and other aspects of sexuality, it's harder for the sex to be well protected and to be respectful.

You need to be able to express your sexuality without exploiting or being violent towards others. If you aren't able to listen to your partner and respect what they're comfortable with, then you can't have consensual or respectful sex.

You need to be able to protect yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you don't have knowledge about STIs and ways to protect yourself from STIs (such as condoms or dental dams), you can't have protected sex.” I was taught warped affection, warped love, warped longing, warped desires, warped passion, warped infatuation, warped fondness, warped liking, warped adoration, warped attraction, warped caring, warped tenderness, warped compassion, warped sentimentality, warped lust, warped sexual lust, and warped sexual desires.

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